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Articles: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! |
Posted by
Schizo on Monday, October 08, 2001 - 06:50 PM PST
Ex's are horrible.
Boyfriend's ex's are worse.
Boyfriend's ex's whose lives are in shambles because 1. they cheated on the person who was taking care of them and 2. they were stupid enough to hook up with an unemployed man and get pregnant by him, are absolutely the nastiest things on the face of the earth.
Especially when said boyfriend has 2 kids by said ex, and said ex and said unemployed man are living off of the money for the kids, and taking trips to the beach and the mountains while boyfriend and I are struggling to save enough to replace our cars.
And of course, now the ex decides she doesn't like the unemployed man, because he gets drunk and pukes on the carpet, and threatens suicide.
She likes to brag that all the guys who go with her become suicidal.
So, guess who gets the job of hanging out with her constantly to make the unemployed drunk man jealous? My boyfriend. Guess who gets the responsibility of hunting down a clinic, taking her there, and paying the bill to get rid of unemployed drunk man's baby, so he won't end up having to pay for the baby itself when it comes? My boyfriend.
Of course, now, she wants to be here ALL THE TIME!!! She comes here almost every day. She was here for our first lighting of the firepit on the full moon. She shows up at dinnertime with the kids and their little friend, borrows one of our books and doesn't return it, moves the chimes we have hanging outside the door because she doesn't like it, erases the eyes on my sketch of myself on my whiteboard, TWICE, sits next to my boyfriend and tries to snuggle with him, writes the names of her little family under the door handles of his car, including her own on the passenger side, and would ignore me as if I were a fly on the ceiling, if I hadn't taken the matter into my own hands and pretended like she was welcome in my home.
I told my boyfriend how I feel, of course, but what can we do? Our new home is named FarAway, but it's not nearly far enough away, because she can walk here. And then my boyfriend takes her here as often as not.
He's doing it because he needs to help her get rid of this guy, so she can pull herself together and make something of her life, so he won't have to pay for her and all her loser boyfriends and all their kids, just so his own kids will have food in their refrigerator.
He says he doesn't want to be with her again, even though she is being nice to him now, as he says "the way I liked her." I believe him, that he won't go back. But I know why she's being nice to him. She wants him on the string. She doesn't really want him back either, but she wants him to spend all his time with her, and take care of her, and be at her beck and call, just so she can own him and manipulate him. And especially, she doesn't want me to have him. Which is why she tries to make me an outcast in my own home.
So far, I am stronger than her. I have the upper hand. But I want her to GO AWAY, leave me alone, leave my boyfriend alone, just DISAPPEAR. But that can never happen as long as those kids are children.
So, in a way, I'm hoping she will stop being nice, and show herself the bitch and whore she is, so that my boyfriend will feel the same need to NOT HAVE HER HERE that I do. I try to tell him that she is using him, that she will never learn to pull herself together and stand on her own two feet, unless he leaves her to the consequences of her own actions. And then he says, what about the kids? And he's right.
I guess the only solution is to get custody of the kids. Which will cost money to do. Which we don't have just now. And even that won't get rid of her, because she would be over constantly to see the kids.
Damn, damn, damn, damn!
If I didn't care about this guy so much, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat. This is insane. Is it so horrible of me to wish that she gets humanely and instantly killed in a car accident or something?
And then I think of the kids. Damn, damn, damn, damn. There's no good way out.
THIS is why lying little self-centered little cheating bitches should all go down! This girl and her type are one of the cancers of the universe.
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Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! | Login/Create an account | 13 Comments |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away!
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolf@hotmail.com)
on Oct 08, 2001 - 07:52 PM
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I hear that, why do crazy girls just get crazyier after you break up. Not going into details now, need some sleep, but if you really want to know about the crazy girls in my past, well I'll tell you, but first, I'm tired...
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Lovecraftianseizures on Oct 09, 2001 - 02:59 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://hometown.aol.com/mortriden/myhomepage/chatprofile.htm | Look at it in the longterm, what will be in the next year. This is one hell of a predicament but I've rented with a girlfreind before; and in the long run it wasn't good,delayed school another year, I lost my sec. deposit and I lost my marbles. That girl needs to walk around with a condom stapled to her forhead, wonder if she's considered what her kids will think when their older, such as gee mom, was I planned out or the result of some cheap thrill.
I would say to draw the bitch out of her in front of your boyfreind, not unless he already knows. I would say do something now, cause things tend to get worse further down the line,
or just ignore this cause I know it's not that spiritually uplifting. |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Schizo on Oct 09, 2001 - 03:22 PM (User info | Send a Message) | He knows what a bitch she is. The first time I spoke to her, he had to come between us to protect me from her physical attack. She's given him scratches and bruises, poured Pepsi over her head, broken phones, and punched through windows in her tantrums. I know we could get the police involved, except we're pretty sure she's slept with at least one policeman. Besides, he's tried before, when she left a monster bruise on his jaw, and they just laughed at him.
She's got herself in hand for now, so I don't know if I could provoke her, even if I wanted to. And I don't want to. If she starts a fight, I will finish it, but I refuse to stoop to her childish level. |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away!
by Lucinda (Lucinda@Camelot>com)
on Oct 08, 2001 - 08:32 PM
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From what I'm reading, this girl is playing a game. And winning. This is completely unfair to you both.I hate to sound mean but you need to draw a line somewhere.It's your home too.
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Schizo on Oct 09, 2001 - 05:52 AM (User info | Send a Message) | She is playing a game. And winning part of it. The one part she isn't winning is that she can't seem to put me down anymore. She used to, but I found my backbone. She wants me to be the jealous shadow in the corner. I refuse to go in the corner anymore. I come out and talk to her, and refuse to let her intimidate me. I let my boyfriend do what he feels he needs to do. I'm not going to try to control him like she does.
I've tried putting my foot down, but it didn't work. Then I said to myself, the strongest thing I can do is, not to push a negative situation away, but transform it into a positive one. So I posted a rant to get it out of my system. I deserve that, at least. And now, I'm going to exercise my internal strength, and let her see that her illusions of grandeur have no effect on me.
And as for her and my boyfriend, he's intelligent to know her treachery. She's been like this before, and then gone back to that false part of herself that drives him up the wall, and rightly. She'll do it again, lose the pleasantness, and distance herself even further from his heart.
And in the meantime, my boyfriend can see his kids without having to deal with stupid shit from her everytime, like he used to.
I know a lot of you are saying to me, "Get a backbone! Say it's her or me!" Believe me, it's not mere sentimental goop that keeps me from it. Part of it is practical. I can't afford at the moment to live on my own. Part of it is that I want to test my strength on her. Part of it is the sort of love that lets someone make their own mistakes, because that's the only way to grow truly strong.
Ok, ok. I admit it. Part of it IS sentimental goop! |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Fergshmuck (sushi_machine@yahoo.com) on Oct 10, 2001 - 01:24 PM (User info | Send a Message) | Actually, "Her or me!" is not what I had in mind at all while reading this. I just got finished reading the whole thing and all the comments there were before I started posting this one, so that I could make sure I'm more educated on the situation than I sound. ^.^
I do think that what you're doing is the right thing. It would be the right thing for me to do, anyway, so if it's right for you too, then bully for ya. The "Her or me!" bit usually creates unnecessary animosity between all three parties and in the long run, if not immediately, the person you're speaking to goes for her, even if she's being more of a controlling bitch than you ever have or ever will. I don't know. With guys (the ones I know face to face, anyway), there's something wrong with their ability to measure immediate pressure against long-term pressure, and if you've been a sweet little mouse your whole relationship and then come up today and say that, they panic and think "fuck if I'm dealing with this shit again!" and run like beheaded chickens. I would do that more often for the sheer amusement of it, if I weren't so afraid of losing my friends and belovedest.. heheheh.
In any event, kudos...and I hope it works out eventually.... just keep giving her the same sweet smile that secretly says to her and only her, "Eat hot death, you overweight tart." (yes. I read Bloom County far too much.) And make sure she can see that in your smile... but... hug her and ask her how she's doing all the same, because, of course, manners must be observed.
But you're a woman... you know about all this.... women frighten me. |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Schizo on Oct 11, 2001 - 05:21 AM (User info | Send a Message) | Actually, things have eased up considerably of late! I think my boyfriend is starting to take pity on me, so he doesn't bring her here much. And when she is here, it's generally in-again-out-again. He tells me he'll be back when he leaves, and makes eye-contact. I can feel her boil when he does that! He's starting to get really tired of her again. He's got to keep spending time with her until this whole pregnancy issue is taken care of, and he can get her employed again. But he's chafing at the bit.
On the other hand, I am giving him completely free reign to do whatever the hell he feels he needs to do. That's my strategy. I read somewhere that men are like rubberbands. You let them stretch far away, and they'll just come snapping back all the closer for it. Whereas, like you said, if you try to cage and control them, they'll end up either breaking free, or hating you in their captivity. If they are to be properly kept in line, they have to keep THEMSELVES in line.
I thought of something last night. They were here for a bit. He was sitting on the arm of a chair. She was sitting beside him on the floor, leaning on his leg, with her hand ALL THE WAY UP THERE, which pissed me off, of course. And he didn't do a thing about it, which pissed me off even more. But I pretended like I didn't even see it. But I thought later, I bet she knows he's slipping back again. I bet she's desperately trying to play on physical attraction to pull him back. But I know him well enough to know that won't work. He certainly won't let me try even an atom of that sort of manipulation, he's so wary of his freedom. He's putting up with her now because he has to. He's buttering up to her so she'll be nice so it will be easier for him to get through this ordeal. Then, when it's over, she'll find that he's like a bar of soap grasped too desperately, and he'll go shooting out from her hands. And guess who will be here waiting patiently?
Mwa hahahahaha! |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away!
by Schizo on Oct 09, 2001 - 05:54 AM
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Oh! And she called my kitten Ophelia a runt! Now THAT'S unforgivable!
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away!
by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com)
on Oct 09, 2001 - 08:55 AM
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depending on what state you are in you can get free, YUP free help to sue for the kids. a restraining order is not out of line either.
And he doesnt have to pay for another kid if he gets the DNA test.
the fastest way to exercise your power and get the ball moving is to call social services and tell them that the kids are being neglected. then HER house will be invaded and possibly the kids will just get placed with you.
just make sure she isnt snooping outside a window when you call....
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away! by Schizo on Oct 09, 2001 - 02:15 PM (User info | Send a Message) | I wouldn't mind doing that, but I think my boyfriend wants to work with her. He's put too much into that relationship just to let her slide into this mess and be swallowed up.
I know that legally he wouldn't have to pay for this kid, but it would end up that way. Legally, his money shouldn't support her or her new guy, but it does. Unless he wants his own children to go without, he would have to shell out more money so that they get what they need.
I've pretty much come down to accepting that this is the way my boyfriend wants to do it. The burden of dealing with his children and their mother is greater than my burden of dealing with some brat I don't like. So I've decided to keep my mouth shut and let him handle the situation, since it is his business and not mine.
Which means I can't vent at him, because it only puts more pressure on him. So I merrily blow my little gasket here!
I'm doing better. I realized she can't hurt anyone that doesn't allow her to. So I just don't let her get under my skin anymore (much). And I really believe that life or fate or karma or whatever is going to backhand her one of these days, and she'll get to experience all the shit she's dealt out. |
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Off-topic: private messages by Rogue (judenouveau@yahoo.com) on Oct 10, 2001 - 02:04 PM (User info | Send a Message) | Schizo, did you get the private message i sent you last week? |
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Re: Off-topic: private messages by Schizo on Oct 11, 2001 - 05:04 AM (User info | Send a Message) | Oh! A message! Hooray! I must have lost count of how many I had before.
Wow. That's pretty cool. I bet that ends up in a memorial. It's way more powerful than some pretty little carved crucifix. A cross shouldn't be pretty. It represents death. (And life, too, of course, but who needs to talk theology?)
I'm really moved.
For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Rogue sent me the link for a picture of a perfect cross made of iron beams that they found in the rubble of the WTC. |
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Re: Nasty Annoying Person Needs to go Far Away!
by chameleon on Oct 10, 2001 - 06:05 PM
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that sounds like the situation one of my friends is in. Advice for you, talk to social services like callei said, and try to change the situation, even if it does require other people who aren't direct yrelated to the situation.
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