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Re: Prayer, hyponosis and BDSM(Score: 1)
by Schizo
on Nov 17, 2010 - 10:12 AM
I find this article intensely intriguing, for the twin reasons that A.) I myself have a long and intense history of Christian-based God-worship, and B.) I seem to be a very natural sub, often falling into sub space without even realizing that I've done it.

Of course, my experience of Christianity tend to be very different from Arthegarn's. The tradition that I was raised in was based mainly on the Northern Baptist church, (with a hint of Pentacostal thrown in.) The music was not hypnotic chants, but rousing choruses of "Are you washed in the Blood, in the soul-cleansing Blood of the Lamb?" and as for prayer - well, the best compliment you could get there was that you were a "real prayer warrior." It was not uncommon for veins to stand out and faces to turn red as we battled against "principalities and powers, and the rulers of the darkness of this world." Nothing very hypnotic about that! But I will say it was not without its own power - when I later started reading about Wiccan traditions and spell-casting, I came to realize that my church was really incredibly talented at gathering and focusing power. I just wish it could have been used to better purpose than trying to spiritually foist a Fundamentalist Right-Wing agenda on the rest of the world.

Looking back from my current position of an agnostic, I can say I did have some very real experiences - things that still feel valid even after dismissing my childhood faith as a sick, twisted, and bizarre perversion and power-trip of a few control-freaks, and the Christian faith in general as lacking in any real reason why I should pick it over any other faith, or better yet, no faith at all. These experiences were always at times when I was very solitary, usually outdoors, and simply releasing whatever intense emotion I happened to be feeling at the time (sadly, mostly very negative.) It was at these points that I feel I really tapped into something real, but whether it was internal or external, it is hard to say. Oddly enough, these were generally times when I was feeling the least submissive.

At this point of my spiritual development (some would call it regression), you might call me the very opposite of submissive. I have laid the burden of proof on whatever Deity cares to listen, and I am simply living my life the best I can. I have made an open announcement that, if I am terribly off the right path, and if anything out there is paying attention and cares enough to let me know, I am more than willing to be enlightened, but I simply can't play guessing games, and I would only be lying to myself to try. And I don't care to serve any Deity that would punish me for not lying to myself.

At least, this does not look on the surface to be submissiveness, but in reality, for one who has been raised and brainwashed in the ways I have, this takes the deepest of all possible trust. Deep inside me, there will always be a part of me that still believes there is a Deity as Arthegarn describes it - "an omnipotent, omnipresent entity existing outside space and time and that took an interest on us up to the point of loving us." And, being that kind of Deity, it knows me, my motives, and my needs, and if it is not communicating with me its disapproval, then it must approve of my approach and my actions. Maybe it is even proud of me for being able to shake off the chains of abuse and dishonesty that held me down for so many years. Maybe it knows I am better off doing this without constant reassurance - that I will be stronger and more beautiful as a result. So, in actuality, I (or at least the part of me that still believes in this being) am sinking down into the deepest subspace, where I can explore my greatest fear (and thus my greatest fantasy) of being this strong and this independent.
Or maybe this is just a mental trick I play on myself to give myself the sense of security I need to free myself from those childhood chains and make my life decisions for myself. But really, is that so different from sub space? Isn't the whole sub/dom relationship just a mental trick? Both parties know that the dom does not actually have authority over the sub. In fact, the sub is the one who possesses the control of the relationship, and chooses to lend that control to the dom of their own free will. A mental trick they mutually play so that both can live out things that they could not otherwise experience.

There is definitely a sub/dom theme to religion. Which makes me ask then, who actually holds the power in the relationship between a deity and its creation? And is there a safe-word?


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