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Re: The Budget Dungeon: A B&D Primer
by Domkitten (domkittenish@spanking.com)
on Jan 19, 2003 - 01:17 AM
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I take issue with the statment that I have set up an atmosphere of deceit and uncaring. It is quite important to be careful with what you are doing.
I think that my intended audience with this was people who are already practicing B&D and who spend allot of time going to the adult sex shop and thinking, "man, if I just had $120 I could get that big black shiny flogger". Frankly I'd rather take the time, effort, and care to craft my own.
I think that making things yourself is it's own respect for the scene. B&D has allot to do with care. If your married and you didn't know that your partner was into B&D then there is a hell of allot you don't know about your partner. That's not something that is easily overlooked when one is going into a marriage, at least I would hope. I can't think of a single partner I've had that did not know that I was into B&D and expressed either a desire to be included or excluded.
One of the reasons that I set up a difference between B&D and S&M is because I feel that real S&M has very little to do with feelings. It's far more dangerous, and has a potential for greater harm in the submissive.
I feel (my opinion, please note) that B&D on the other hand has a far greater importance on relationships beteween the sub and the master. A real Sadist doesn't give a damn about their subject. A master, on the other hand, has some care with the object of desire. I'd say I've had a very close relationship with anyone I was playing with, and the effections went beyond bedroom games.
Again, read some books, takes some notes, be freaking informed before you tie someone up. Talk about it. If you are a top, read "The Topping Book". If your a bottom read "The bottoming book." they are the single best books on the market and they discuss EVERYTHING. I didn't mean to suggest them lightly.
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