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Re: UNBOWED Is Goth as FUCK!
by ickgirl on Jul 28, 2001 - 12:49 PM
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http://www.envy.nu/ickgirl
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YES! Thank you Callei. As I was reading this I got really excited.
I don't come here to learn about christianity. I've never been christian, went to public school, never went to church, but "somehow" I get my fill. I live in the USA, afterall.
Concerning the site, yesterday I asked devin "what is with all this god god god blah stuff?"
Fine. If it's a big part of your life - go run wild with it. But there are plenty of things about MY life that I dont splatter all over this site, especially something of a personal/delicate nature.
Here is the purpose of this site (in the FAQ section):
"Shmeng exists because people suck. Everyone tries to keep a positive outlook on life, but sometimes it's just not possible. You're going through life all content and smiling, and some fucknugget comes along and does something that's just plain stupid. Everyone has these stories. Everyone loves these stories. Why do you think the Darwin awards exist? Shmeng is as good a place as any to tell everyone about your stupid people experiences. What should you post? Bad dates are always good. Stupid things people say, clueless friends. Anything shmengy."
I haven't slept or I'd perhaps be more eloquent, but maybe not.
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Re: UNBOWED Is Goth as FUCK!
by Schizo on Jul 28, 2001 - 05:00 PM
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I think it is a human tendency to talk out the bad things that happen to them and forget to mention the good ones. (By the way, I don't have a job yet, but it seems one is on the way).
After all, this is Shmeng, a forum specifically for letting loose on the nasty stuff that life flings at us. I don't think I have been more negative than anyone else.
I'm sorry. If I am a part of this website, then my faith is a part. Perhaps I should go, if the primary thing in me is so unwelcome. I don't think I realized how much people here have suffered at the name of Christianity. Now I know better. But still, how do I censor myself? Can I cut that piece out of me and act as a partial person when I come here? Will I then be Schizo or a limping cripple?
I don't want you to censor yourself for me. Use the words "piss me off" if something pisses you off. How am I supposed to know how much it hurts you if you muffle the protest? I'm willing to listen. I'm not here to cause pain. I honestly did not know I was shoving my faith on people to an enfuriating degree. Most of my mentioning of it was intended in a sort of self-depreciating way. Schizo the Resident Christian. My ideosyncrasy. When I feel safe and among friends I end up relaxing and sharing this part of my life now and then. Not to make people uncomfortable, but as a sign of confidence in their wisdom and good-will towards me. It leaves me vulnerable, but I felt safe among you to be myself. I guess not.
I do not wallow in the bad. I experience it and do not hide from it. It shapes who I am, and much of my deepest knowledge of the world around me and the way things work came through bad things that happened around me. I respect pain. I do not search for it, I do not jump up and down gleefully when I see it, but I respect it. But life for me is good. I love life and what it has brought me. Perhaps I should have posted more of this, but again, this is Shmeng, not HappyJoyandLaughter website. The focus of this place is venting. I wish you could see more of the me that laughs and laughs. That loses itself in a good book, that goes out in the rain and raises her face to the sky and feels the water lightly touch her face. That is who I am as well. Life is good, life is beautiful, and I want to live it as hard and happily as I can.
I have set aside the first reaction of anger time after time after time myself, when I come across some anti-Christian statement. I've been here since about May, and I'd say I run across something every couple of days. I let go, tell myself that they aren't targeting me, just releasing shmeng about real hurt they have recieved. And generally I don't even make a comment about it. It's OK. I'm not offended. Just now, I've been tense about some other things in my life, and it seems a whole cluster of particularly hard-to-let-go-of ones rained in on my head, and not just from here. So I released my shmeng. I didn't mean to unleash a hurricane. But my shmeng is valid, too.
Do I really come across as patronizing? I look up to you people. I genuinely do. And I make sure to say so. I've learned so much from you. Is it because I think I'm right? Why would I bother to believe something if I didn't think it was right? But I don't think I know everything. I don't know the half of it. I can be stuck on myself, but that's my personality flaw, not a part of my religion. What I believe doesn't make me any better than anyone else.
Is this place truly non-religious? Or just non-Christian. Hints of paganism, of satanism, of wiccan flow here and there. Some I agree with. Some I don't. I saw no signs posted saying "no religion allowed". I saw that this is not a religious site, but I also saw open discussion of all sorts of things that may or may not be offensive to me. This place always seemed to me like an "anything goes, post what you like" sort of place.
And is it your place? It is mine too. You have b
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