GothScouts(tm) Date Thursday, April 18, 2024 - 05:32 PM PST Topic Humor Recently a friend told me that they had been hit on by a Goth boy in a Boy Scout uniform. No really, I thought she was fooling too at first. After a good laugh, I got to wondering: what if there was a GothScout ™ association and what would the kids learn? Most importantly, what would their badges and pins look like? So here is my plan for the Goth Scouts™, a multinational gender-nonspecific association of black-clad geeks, freaks, and pretty kids. (aka, a wet dream wrapped in leather). It’s a plan to help our young men and women learn the ropes (and the whips and chains) of life as a free thinking adult open to the panoply of experiences that life offers. Oh and den mothers (they will all be called den mothers, no matter if they are an “innie” or and “outie”) must be able to prove that they have had at least one homosexual experience. Oh and a group would be called a cozen, like a coven, but more snuggly. My GothScouts™ will be mixed gender, mixed orientation groups. After all, in the words of our famous webmaster, or at least to paraphrase badly, “never have sex with a man with no lesbian friends”. I am still not sure if he meant “make sure there is at least 3 people in the bed” or “people are more balanced if they have a wide range of friends and experiences to call on”. Probably some of both. In that other discriminatory organization there are 7 levels of scout. My first thought was to have 13, but I ran out of names. So here is what I came up with for the levels of scout. And yes, I sure hope you all will help out. 1. Boi: a leatheman term that I plan to reuse here to be the most junior level of scout, for kids that show up to meeting and participate. No uniform necessary. 2. Grrl: for kids that show up and start to wear some part of the uniform on a weekly basis. 3. Gothen: the first level of real scoutdom. Must wear uniform, or some part of it to school at least 2 days a week. 4. Viper: What else should we call 14.8 when they really are 14 years old? 5. Lifer: the designation for someone that has been a Goth scout for 3 years. 6. Guppie: a cute, diminutive of goth urban professional that here means “old enough to get a job” 7. Uber: I had too. I think camping trips should be optional, but sleep-overs mandatory. And trips to museums, inner city parks, and *sigh* cemeteries. I think the uniform should include a kilt style skirt for all involved be they male, female, or somewhere in between. Obviously it would have to be black, or mostly black. I am thinking a sedate pinstripe indicating the “level” of scout. I think the uber level ought to have a lime green pinstripe, in memory of me. The goal is to have the uniform be easy to wear, comfortable, and silly looking. I am thinking here fishnet sashes with badges sewn to it, really silly hats, and possibly button up shirts with French cuffs and that priest style collar. I have oodles of ideas about the things they can do for tasks…. After all, my bathtub could use a good scrub. This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=805