Security Display Hawaiian
Date Thursday, March 28, 2024 - 10:27 PM PST
Topic Experiences


Dear Sirs,

It has come to my attention that the random searches being performed at boarding gates is not in fact random. Given that the planes I usually fly on hold 210 people, and there are usually 6 people searched for each flight, I should be searched about 2% of the times I fly, or 4% of the round trips. Since September ’01, I have been searched 50% of the times I’ve flown, or 100% of the round trips. After asking a gate agent a few times, he told me that the selections were not random but computer generated.

Given your computers propensity for selecting me for display, I can assume that your computer finds some value in displaying a Hawaiian being searched to the other passengers as they enter the plane. I realize that a Hawaiian does not have as much value as someone of Middle Eastern descent, but clearly I am brown enough to be of some value.

While I have been happy to perform this service free of charge in the past, I regret to inform you that I will begin charging a fee of $50 per performance. I believe my rates are reasonable, and my brown skin will provide an excellent value at a very low risk, even with my lack of Middle Eastern appearance.

I will accept payment in the form of discounted tickets, or by check or money order at the time of search. If payment is not received at this time, I will invoice you for the services you requested, but will charge an interest rate of 7% monthly.


I hope to do business with you in the future,
Devin,
Security Display Hawaiian

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