Depression
Date Thursday, March 28, 2024 - 07:04 PM PST
Topic Theories


I believe that life is one big theatrical performance, and everyone is a performer and at this point in time I feel that I have the worst part imaginable. For some reason the director who controls every move we make has decided to give me a part which involves nothing. In this nothing is my everything and everyone, but also in this nothing is love, which is only a very small feeling but the other emotion which takes over the rest of my body is hate and despair.
I can feel myself falling into a depression, which I know has swallowed others, but I can't fight it and no one is there to pull me out. So now I just fall the only thing stopping me are the threads, which represent my family and friends but they will only hold out for so long.

I don't know whether I will ever reach the bottom of this black hole, which has become my existence. My only fear is that when I do it will result in my death.

In my role I am the victim of a terrible crime, the crime of mental humiliation from people who don't even know me. These are the people who have pushed me off the cliff on sanity, they don't realise that when they did this they destroyed me. There are others who have hurt me without even knowing it, these include my father of all people, who realised that he had to emigrate to an alien country half way round the world, to escape me, my vile body and mind, which have poisoned my soul.

And still I fall through the barriers of despair. I don't know how long the fall will last, but I know I can't fight the forces, which are working against me. So now all I can do is wait for the impact which will conclude with my death.


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