My Fairy Tale
Date Thursday, April 18, 2024 - 11:56 PM PST
Topic Humor


Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a beautiful young princess, with long blonde hair and eyes of sapphire (because this is a fairy tale after all, and that’s the way it is in this sort of story). She was loved by all the people of the land, who admired her honesty and justice, which she had inherited from her father, the King. As is the way with fairy tales though, all was not perfect in the land. The princess had an evil stepsister, who was the bane of her life and who was feared by the people. They knew that she was a wicked witch, who caused trouble amongst the people of the kingdom. She would curse their flocks, and cause them to get ill and die. None of the people dared to anger her, because her evil spells would render their women barren and no children would be born to them.


As time progressed in the kingdom the princess and her stepsister grew older and as the princess grew she became more and more beautiful. Princes would travel to the kingdom to court her and seek her hand in marriage, however none were successful. As the evil stepsister grew she became more and more feared. She rarely left the castle, and those who had seen her on her outings had told tales of her ebony black hair, and ominous dark clothing, unbefitting a lady.

The elderly king was frail and ill, and on one dark and stormy night (the appropriate weather for a death, or so I am told) he made a final request to the princess and the people of the land – that though the princess would ascend the throne when he died, the wicked step sister would always be allowed to live freely in the castle, or the city should she choose it. With those final, fateful words the light faded from his eyes and he lay dead.

The people were horrified to hear the king’s wish, but they were loyal and faithful to him, and to his daughter after him and so they left the stepsister alone. The beautiful princess matured into a graceful and regal queen and reigned with benevolence over the land while her sister stayed in the highest room, of the tallest tower, concocting her malicious spells.

One day a young and handsome prince came to the land, seeking the hand of the young queen in marriage. As all princes before him he went to the castle and sought an audience with her majesty bringing with him lavish gifts of gold and silver, and fabric fit to make a gown for the richest of queens. As all princes before him, the queen turned him away. The people watched out for him to leave, but as always the prince was too embarrassed by his failure to show his face. Of course, the people were only human, and humans have a bad habit of gossiping. By then all sorts of rumours were in circulation – the prince never met the real queen, her sister turned him away before he could meet her – the sister was jealous of her sister and so turned all the princes into toads – the fair queen was made ugly by her evil stepsister and so, rather than let the princes see her disgusting countenance, she had to turn them away. Only rumours of course, but these things do have power, especially when a whole city is whispering them.

The people of the city decided in secret to watch out for the next prince to leave, and they didn’t have long to wait. If the stories of the blonde princess were alluring, then the tales of the stunning queen were irresistible. Another prince arrived the following week. He was young, strong, and had short black hair teamed piercing blue eyes. He approached the castle with confidence and assurance, safe in the knowledge that he would win the queen over with his charms.

Again the prince sought audience with the queen and though the city folk were most observant, none could get a sight of the two together, however, by that evening it had been announced that the queen had rejected the prince. The people stepped up their watch, so that scarcely an inch of the castle and its grounds was unwatched. Nothing was seen, neither hide nor hair of the prince. This worried the people and they talked amongst themselves and decided that they should continue their watch, in case the prince would leave later (for they were good people, and did not want to believe the worst). Two evenings later a poor stable boy from the village came racing back to tell his father what he had seen. While watching the castle, he had seen the most miraculous thing – a door had appeared in the solid castle wall, and from here a woman had appeared cloaked in black, and dragging a body behind her.

[pagebreak]Now that all their suspicions about the wicked stepsister were confirmed the people of the kingdom knew they had to do something about her, they had to confront her and the queen. As one body they climbed the steps to the palace and opened the doors flocking towards the royal chamber where the queen would be found. When they were almost upon the doors, a painting was swung aside and the evil sister appeared, her black lace gown swirling around her feet, “I wouldn’t go there, if I were you,” she warned. The people laughed at her words, she didn’t scare them, not now that they had found out her secret and were going to reveal it to the queen. “Come with us,” they demanded, “We will go and see your sister, and see what see has to say about you.” They grabbed the witch and dragged her into the main chamber, throwing her down before the queen. “We have proof of her treachery, proof of her wicked ways! Will you still uphold your father’s wish? Will you not bring justice upon this evil doer?”

They brought the stable boy to the fore of the crowd and demanded he retell his story before the queen. The boy stuttered and stammered under the queen’s keen eye, but eventually he recounted his tale. As he spoke he looked upon the queen’s face and he followed the creased lines on her face, and he observed her severe frown and harsh eyes and he wondered why she was told to be the beauty of the nation. His mind was still working as he spoke, and he twisted his story. He told of how the hood had fallen from the figure, and how the treacherous stepsister had looked upon him and her look had chilled him to the very bone. He told of how she had left the body she was dragging, and approached his own motionless frame, frozen with fear. She had sneered down on him and had told him that if he breathed a word of what had happened then she would kill him. She had boasted of how she was the greatest sorceress to ever live, and she would not let him die a slow death. With her sadistic magics she would keep him alive, as she tortured him, for after all, none could surpass her magic and none ever would.

As he told his tale, the crowd gasped and glared at the stepsister, who was still lying on the floor, and the queen gasped and glared as well, though her glare was directed at the stable boy. “Fool,” she hissed, “That pathetic powerless sister of mine could no more harm you than she could bring herself to harm a fly. How dare you speak of her power, and not mine?” As the words flew from her lips she knew her error and her hands flew to her face. A deathly silence blanketed the crowd. A small noise broke through, and grew louder and louder as it found it’s feet. That noise was the laughter of the sister left on the floor.

“You thought that you were the perfect one. You listened to what was said about you, and you showed them only that which they admired, you made yourself believe you were the good one,” she laughed, a hollow sound in the silence of the great chamber, “You were blonde, and fair and good, and I was the dark one, the one hidden away because I would never have your beauty, and that simple misfortune of mine made me the evil one. But I never cursed those I heard whisper about me. I never laughed at those who adored me, and called me queen. I never killed those I deemed unworthy…” at this point her voice, which had reached a strained, shrill note, broke and her tirade subsided.

A horrified murmur ran round the city people, surely their fair princess, their honest and just queen was not the one to cause them pain? One man, a blacksmith by trade voiced the dissention amongst the people, “It is a lie! You are to blame, you are controlling our queen!” At this the queen rose to her feet in rage “You are idiots all of you, blind and foolish and so taken up by outward appearances, you refuse to see my power. Even after being confronted by it you deny it, give her the credit. That doesn’t matter any more, I’ll prove to you that I am the one to control the power.” With this threat she drew a wand that had been hidden in her rich and voluptuous gown and cast a curse at the man who had dragged the stepsister in. [pagebreak]

Unfortunately for her, she didn’t notice her sister crawling to the corner of the crowd, she didn’t notice her rising elegantly to her feet, and she didn’t notice her making her way behind the throne on which all she and all monarchs before her sat, (unless they were very angry and casting curses at members of the crowd). She did, however, notice her sister’s dagger sliding in between her ribs and spearing her heart. Not before she cursed the man, it is true, but one can’t be too quick when one is sneaking around (nor when a curse is aimed at someone who has just roughly shoved you to the floor). As the queen’s blood drained from her body, trickling in rivulets down the dagger and staining the luxurious robes she was wearing, the people cheered and proclaimed the step sister as their new queen, for she had defeated their oppressor, and as we all know – our enemy’s enemy is our friend.

“You are our saviour! You have saved us from the witch, and shall now be crowned our queen.” The quiet stable boy, who was the one to trick the queen into revealing her secret, was brought before the sister. “You shall marry this stable boy, and together you shall bring peace and harmony to our nation. You shall put an end to poverty and suffering, and you shall help us destroy witchcraft.” The sister looked around at the jovial throng, and saw the hope within their eyes, she looked at the stable boy and saw his innocence and pure soul and said, “Are you kidding? Any one of you could have come here at any time, and you would have seen the queen as she really was, you would have seen how I have suffered and been made no more than her slave, but it was easier for you to keep your fantasies, the idea of your perfect queen, and not bother to challenge them. If you thought the queen honest and noble then it was because it was easier for you to buy into her farce and not stand up for what was right, than to bring about a change. If you thought me to be evil and malicious then it was because you never sought the truth, you just believed the lies the queen fed you, without bothering to think them through. Now you want me to rule you! You are still blind fools, wishing to be led as you always were, you do not even see that I would as soon destroy witchcraft as I would cut out my own lungs, for it is as much a part of me as they are. You are too willing to place the blame for your misfortunes on anything other than humanity. Though it is supernatural, and so I suppose a very easy target for you, witchcraft is as much as thing of evil as I am. Iit is power and it is in the using of it that its nature is determined. How dare you seek to marry me off, and have me sit on a throne all day, readily available as your scapegoat for when you have troubles? You did nothing for me; I owe you nothing.” With those fateful words the stepsister swept out of the room, pausing only to glance the stable boy up and down, before taking him with her.

Where did they go? I do not know, my fairy tale ends in this kingdom, in this nation, in this country and the stepsister sought to leave these as far behind her as she could. Oh, I have heard that she and the boy settled down somewhere, thought they never married – she found that she was far more attracted to a local bar maid; a buxom lass with sweet blonde pigtails, but the boy remained her true friend for the rest of her days. And what of the city folk? Do you think they took heed to the stepsister’s words? Do you think they learnt anything? You should know better than that. They elected the blacksmith, the one who had denied the truth of the stepsister’s words to become minister and rule over them. He brought about laws to make sure that no one else could control the people (no one except him, that is). His soldiers were hardworking and dedicated (to finding those who would speak out against the new minister). He knew no magic at all, and would readily agree to hold audience with any of the public (who, at first, were unaware of his brainwashing techniques). Last I heard they were forming an assassination plot to get rid of him on the quiet. I suppose all fairy tales have to have a happy ending. I hope you have enjoyed this one, dear readers. Until next time, I bid you farewell.



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