Lamentations of a retail whore Date Friday, April 19, 2024 - 12:26 PM PST Topic Work Yes, I successfully found a part time job to last me out until the end of the summer. It is at a national chain of fabric shops, so basically I cut fabric and ring people up all day. While the first week was wonderful I am now starting to remember why I simultaneously love and hate retail: The customers. My day would go so much more smoothly if only everyone I waited on had worked retail for just one day of their lives. So for those of you who haven't, I present this informative essay. "How to be a good customer" 1. If you have a question, feel free to ask me at any time. That's what I am here for. However, I cannot explain to you nuclear physics, Chinese algebra, or even how to construct a dress in 15 minutes. Remember there are other customers waiting for my help. I would recommend reading a book on the subject first. (gasp!) 2. Apparently living to be 80 years old entitles you to many things. But sorry, being served before the kid who was there before you is not one of them. You'd be surprised how many old ladies are baffled by this. If I waited on old ladies first all day, there would be a line of people who weren't old ladies lined up outside the door, seeing as to how they make up 55% of clientele. Yes, you're very old. Now wait your fucking turn like everyone else. 3. As a clerk it is my job to offer you fast and accurate services. However, this is not McDonald's. I can't help it if the person in front of you needs 100 yards of fabric cut and you have to wait. They were first. That's how taking turns works. Sometimes a nice person will say "Go ahead, she/he only has one thing" and then I am happy to oblige. But it is the exception, not the rule. And seeing as to how I am not management, it isn't my fault that I'm the only one working. Don't complain to me or walk out, file a complaint with a higher up and actually make a difference. Trust me, I would love it if they put one more person on shift. 4. Don't roll your eyes at me when I ask for your ID at the register. Either sign the back of your fucking credit card or don't pay with one. By asking I am doing my job. 5. Our store is not a playground, nor am I your babysitter. If you can't control your kids, then do not bring them in. Period. You decided to have them, you can't control them, then leave them at home and NO EXCUSES! If I had a dollar for every time in a shift I hear "Oh, swweeeet little Brandeihnly is just cranky because she didn't get her nap today!" [and that's why I can't put her in the cart and forgot she was wondering around and let her knock over a whole stack of clay statues and by the way, you really shouldn't put those breakable statues where children can reach them!!] And yes, this example happened. Really. 6. Again, parents please don't let your children run in the store, grab some candy off the shelf and start slobbering all over it, and then hand it to me at the register to ring up. You may think slobber is precious, but I don't. Especially from your kids. There is no reason they can't wait until something is paid for to eat it. Plus it's just gross. 7. I don't make the rules, I just work here. I have no idea why people buy so many things they don't intend to keep. Our return policy is pretty typical and pretty easy to understand, and yet every time I see a return coming I panic. I'm sorry you have to fill out a receipt to get your $.99 back. Hey, I scrimp for money too but by the time you drive to the store you've probably already spent that $.99 in gas and time. Next time maybe you should think "Hmm, do I really need this?" before you take it home. And DON'T complain to me about the hassle of returning it. See first sentence above. 8. Don't ask me why certain things aren't on sale, if/when they will go on sale, if I can cut you a deal on them, or if you can speak to my supervisor so *she* can cut you a deal on them. This isn't a flea market. We are a corporately owned, publicly traded company and unless something is damaged, chances are slim you get to haggle on the price. If you can't afford it full price, then maybe you don't need it or should wait until you can afford it. Don't bitch at me about it. I don't make the sales up, and I don't set the prices. 9. Everything has a price. It is usually stuck on the item on a little label. Sometimes it is on the shelf. If you can't find the price, you can ask me and I will find it for you. Sometimes things are more expensive than you would think, so just check before you get a whole cartful, I get you all rung up, and then you are abhorred by the total. What, you can't add?? I then have to void everything, get a manager to sign, and put everything you bought back on the shelves. Meanwhile the line of nasty old ladies grows and grows. And of course, their wait is MY fault... 10. We all have bad days. Don't take it out on me. I understand that I am an easy target because I can't defend myself without getting fired. Trust me, I would rip your yuppie housewife/nasty old lady ass to shreds with a smile on my face the whole time if my job didn't ride on it. If you can't be civil then maybe you should go home and run errands another day. Ah, there may be many more but I am feeling better. I know the situation goes both ways with crappy employees, but I really feel like I am doing my best to deal with everyone. Did I fall asleep and suddenly everyone in the world is immediately entitled to whatever they want? I thought MANY of us could relate to this, either because we've been there, or we're there now -ick This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=389