Loving Words? Date Friday, April 19, 2024 - 08:33 PM PST Topic Theories I've been frusterated lately by having to explain things to people that I would't have to explain if the english language had words for them. I've been noticing that there's very few words you can use to refer to relationships. The Ex This past weekend, I went to california and visited my _. Every time I told someone what I was doing, I had to say "I'm going to visit my ex". Then I'd have to answer The Questions. Are you getting back together? Doesn't she have a girlfriend? Are you 'Just Friends' now? (Wait a second... 'Just Friends'? What the fuck is that?) Calling her my ex implies that we're not sleeping together anymore and that we broke up. Even though we never really 'broke up', she's certainly not my girlfriend. Calling her my friend also implies a lack of nekkid time. Calling her a fuckbuddy is completely inappropriate, since that implies that we just have lotsa sex. What's the word for a girlfriend who you never broke up with but still adore, but don't see very often but you're still all lovey even though you've both been with other people off and on, and plan on keeping it like this for a long time? The Project Every once in a while someone comes along who has too huge of issues for you to really want to stay with for a long time - but you know you can fix them (or at least get them on the right track). I don't recommend this at all! Everyone thinks they can fix people, but if you don't know exactly how you're going to do it before you even think about starting, then it's a really bad idea. If you think you can do it ask yourself 2 things: "Do I have at least 3 past-projects that call me regularly and thank me profusely?" and "Did this person specifically say the word help?" If you can't answer yes to those, then you're deluding yourself. (Don't try this at home kids) Ok, now that that's out of the way. Projects certainly make for a strange kind of relationship. It's almost like a D/s total power exchange thing where the dom is in control of the sub's entire life for a little while. Once you're to the point where the project is fixed enuf, you've already gone through so much together that normal issues like jealousy for example just seems trite. But how do you describe that bond? I just call it project for lack of a better word - I know that most people that hear it have no clue what I'm saying. (But think they do). Can't Haves This one is probably a little more common. Especially now with the internet and all the yummy people scattered so far apart. Normally when you meet someone delicious who you can't have, some kind of drama ensues and everything blows up, end of story. But sometimes it's possible to have one of these kinds of relationships long term, and they can be delicious. But what do you call them? I've had long distance ones, where neither of us were going to move, and with girls with kids that I can't have because I absolutely don't want kids, even with a married girl who's husband was ok with us having some nekkid time, but not as much as we would have liked. I think these kind of relationships would be a lot easier to deal with and maintain if there was a word for them. What would it be? In Other Words With some of the alternative lifestyles, this problem has gotten so frusterating for people that words have been invented. "Partner", "Spice", "Third", "Sub/Dom" all let people know exactly what the relationship is. Even if the definitions are only recognized by a minority, they're at least recognized. What about all of the other ones though? There's no subculture of people who do projects, or of people who don't break up with all of their s/o's, or of people who get cozy with people they can't have. It's more of something that everybody (well mostly) does a few times in their lives. You'd think in that case, they would all be considered common enuf to merit their own words instead of requiring a lengthy explaination every time. I also have this theory that the reason most perfectly good relationships fall apart is that they aren't what they're "supposed to be". Perhaps just because the wrong word is applied to them? But that's a whole other topic... This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=191