Schizo back for a visit
Date Thursday, March 28, 2024 - 11:48 AM PST
Topic Experiences


Well, hello everyone! I've missed you all. And God, have things ever been crazy. Do you want to hear about it? No? Well, tough because I'm going to tell you.
Well, I kicked the boyfriend out. Left him a letter, and then moved all his stuff into the livingroom while he was at work. He left the blacklites on in the livingroom, out of spite, to show me what his ex had painted on the walls in blacklite paint. Whatever. I burnt all her letters, and a couple of music books that I had given him a while back.

Later that evening I went out shopping. When I got back, the place had been invaded. The first sign was a pile of stones in the middle of my driveway. When I went inside, I saw that they had
A. dipped my toothbrush in the cat litter box
B. erased the eyes on the picture of me I had drawn on the whiteboard, and replaced them with x's
C. taken a picture of me and him out of my photo album and put it in my firepit with candles placed around it
D. written the word "die" in dryerase marker where the photo had been
E. put ashes from what I'd burnt in my teacup
and F. the ex left me a note, warning me not to play with spells.

I also noticed that my hairbrush was cleaner than I generally keep it. Also, they had gotten into my "altar cabinet" and stolen my altar cloth and rearranged what I had on it.

Well, I called up someone that a friend of mine had reccommended I talk to and got some advice on how to combat attack. While I was talking on the phone, the ex arrived, with her daughter (for protection, probably, since she knows I would never fight her in front of the kids). She tried to warn me off of magick. I know the rule of 3 as well as anyone, and I don't do magick to harm anyone. She tried to give me a guilt trip about kicking my boyfriend out. She said that she didn't want him. She said that he made her write those letters to make me jealous. I sent her away, told her I didn't trust her, and made her promise to bring back my altar cloth.

The next day was Halloween. She showed up with the kids, and handed me the altar cloth. It was sprinkled all over with garlic. I don't even use that altar cloth for spells! She's so scared of me it's funny! The next morning I found sage in my firepit, and wax shavings, and a clump of my hair. I gathered together everything that she's played with, tied it in a cloth, and dumped it in the swamp. And worked like hell to get the tension cleared from the atmosphere of my home.

Well, you may think that things should be getting back to normal now. She's been leaving me alone, I've been struggling with the challenge of making it on my own financially, and dealing with loneliness and disappointment. Well, it's just about to get really complicated.

I'm pregnant.

Yes, I'm serious. I'm going to keep the baby. I think it will be due in June. But my boyfriend isn't necessarily going to be there. He says he'll try, but he won't be living around here anymore. He's dropping everything, me, his ex, his job, and driving down to Florida to make a fresh start.

We had a couple of good talks. He admits his mistakes, and that it isn't my fault. But he's overwhelmed, and he hates this town. He's being really sweet while he's here, coming over to check on me every couple of days, and promising to keep in touch (and it's a real promise. I know the difference now, and he never promises that way unless he really means to keep his word.) He says he'll try to be here when the baby is born.

I'm glad we're on good terms again. But I'm afraid that he's just running away from himself. He thinks being in Florida will solve all his problems, but I think his problems are rooted in himself, and his discouragement and depression that makes him not care anymore who he hurts. But there's just a chance that this could be just what he needs. And anyway, nothing I could say could make him change his mind. So instead of being like his ex and trying to stop him and being all bitchy, I'm giving him all the support I can without giving him things that aren't safe for me to give.

All in all, it's an incredibly stressful situation. I'm happy about the baby, and I really believe that things will work out for me, but I really can't see quite how it's going to work, and of course I'm constantly mourning the fact that my baby's father won't be around to help.

But I've been feeling better the last couple of days. A lot more stable, and I'm starting to explore the options this area holds for single mothers.

I can't believe I'm going to be someone's Mom!

I've still got to break it to my parents.

When WILL my life ever calm down?

This article comes from Shmeng
http://www.shmeng.com/

The URL for this story is:
http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=184