Reasons I have to vomit when I open my front door. Date Thursday, April 25, 2024 - 12:47 PM PST Topic Rant I know that I am phenomenally far from perfect. I know I have some bad habits like taking things for granted, not being able to look past "face value" sometimes, being bossy, being spineless, and so on. I could sit here all night listing off things that make me something not to be proud of. However, compared to people I've met, seen, heard from, and been insulted by, I could very easily apply for the position of the next child of God. Tonight I got an email from a teenaged "Satanist" type person with a link to a disturbing picture and the endearing note: "Too bad you werent there instead of in your car bitch"... simply because I was talking to a friend of mine about auto accidents in a public chat room. I'm not so much sickened by the fact that some sick kid sent me a sick picture... what really turns my stomach is that there are people out there who MAKE this stuff and get off on it.. on things like girls getting run over by cars, or being dismembered, or having dynamite stuck where it doesn't belong and ignited. (I admit I was morbidly curious enough to look at a few other pictures on that site before I had to shut off everything and run to the bathroom.) Sometimes I'm afraid to leave my apartment because I know there's a ton of people exactly like that prowling around my city in lowriders, Dodge Rams and buses. All they're waiting for is an excuse to snap. I mean... there's a massive difference between Devin's caged dolls and people who actually fantasize enough about disturbing things to bring them out... granted, it's a much better choice to make digital art out of fantasies like that than carry out the real thing... but I'm still afraid. Also tonight, I heard lots of banging, crying, and yelling coming from next door. I don't see why people feel the need to beat each other, or stick around and let it happen to them. In reading one of the spitfire exchanges between Feral and Bettie, I discovered something that I agree with Bettie on: people DON'T have instinct. So when a man or woman puffs up and says, "I hit'em because it was instinct" or something to that effect, I realize now what I always thought to myself before: it's total bull. People hurt people because they WANT instinct.. or they WANT alpha status in such-and-such a relationship. I'm sick of seeing men in the mall or the store or a restaurant walking around like gorillas with cock rings, and their significant others cowering along behind them, giving you that strained smile that says "Well, it makes him happy." And it's not just men. There are feminists who act more like Nazis because they believe they're above everyone (not every man: everyONE) in their eyesight. Domination is a thing I don't mind in moderation, in the bedroom, occasionally. I cannot tolerate it to a degree where the party in submission is sending pitiful looks like "It makes him happy" to anyone they see looking. That's more than domination: that's degradation. Nobody should stand for degradation. Every BDSM-based couple I know consists of a pair of people who treat each other with great respect, love and care. "This bitch is mine" is a phrase/state of mind which, coincidentally, every one of those couples believe belongs in the mouth/mind of a sick little teenaged sadist who doesn't know any better, and should never be given the option to learn hands-on. And for my last breath of rant: animal cruelty. It's running in the same lines of "Sick Fucks who Fantasize About Maimed Girls" and "Sick Fucks who Think This Bitch is Mine," so I guess this whole thing runs in the same vein after all. Yesterday I saw a kitten in the window (next door, coincidentally...) whose skin behind its ear was scraped raw as if someone was trying to shave it and failed miserably. The poor thing was trying in vain to clean that part of its head and writhing around on the windowsill every time it touched the raw spot. The other day, I saw a dog walking along the side of the street and stopping under our tree for shade, who had a ribbon tied so tightly around his ear that it was bleeding where the cartilage got cracked and went through the skin, but wouldn't let me near him to take it off. I don't blame him. Despite how hard I try, I look and smell just like the horrible creatures who do things to these animals. The last time I went to the mall, I saw a little boy holding a parrot by the foot in the pet shop. He was pulling it out to where he was so that the parrot couldn't move away from that place and was flapping and squawking its head off for help- and none of the pet shop employees looked or cared, because the boy was too small for them to see over the countertop and shelves. Nobody walking by gave a shit until I went over and glared at him. When he let go, the parrot got on its log, limped over to me, and stuck its foot out. I had to leave before I started to cry. People can be so fucking rude, crude and downright abominable that it makes me physically ill. And so many of these people could have been turned in a better direction when they were young like that boy.... if only someone cared enough to shake the finger that mattered. Why do I have to feel like the only pacifist in a world of Hitlers, Mansons and Mussolinis? I can't stand seeing the world go about its business this way- I don't have the spine to gop try and change it- and I don't want to sit in here and twiddle my thumbs while it happens. What am I supposed to do? The link to the picture worked the first time I tried it, second time I got a "for member's only" thing. Anyway, I'm sure you can use your imagination -ickgirl This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=130