Subject: What Reality TV show would you like to see?
W0rmW00d
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Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 4/12/2004 at 11:15 AM
I don't think that this one has been yet.
Reality television is shit. We all know it, yet it is still broadcast
interminably, Big Brother, Survivor, How clean is your house, How stupid
are your housemates, that kind of thing. What I want to know is what would
you Shmeng folk suggest in order to liven up reality TV.
Here we go, Inspired by the distinctly unevil 'evil' big brother we
recently got in england.
You have ten housemates, as usual, in a house for ten weeks. Standard
nominations and voting off and stuff. Unfortunately for our 'heroes' and
fortunately for us, one of the housepeople is psychotically deranged.
Everyone knows this but noone knows who, including the audience.
For the first six weeks the psychotic chap gets mood stabiliser pills and
the rest get sugar pills, after that they run out. Over the ensuing weeks
the killer's mental state will go downhill until he/she snaps. Then let the
carnage commence. Of course at this time everyone will find out who the
deranged guy is and try to get him voted out. This is the beauty of my
plan. The viewers may not vote the killer out because they want to see the
devestation. A whole nation of accessories to murder. Its divine.
Of course we also get to trim out some of the morons who go on these
things. Its win win.
Any more?
[Edited on 4/12/2004 by W0rmW00d]
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pale-face
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posted on 4/12/2004 at 12:19 PM
I’m thinking something along the lines of TLC's clean sweep. but instead of
cleaning houses of trash. we'd give people guns and clean the street's of
people. simple idea. rather juvenile. but I like it.
and if that doesn’t fly what about who can go the longest with out going to
the bathroom contest. they build a house that has no bathrooms. all the
food and necessities are provided to live normally. but if you leave the
house to try to find a bathroom you lose.
____________________ fucking classy.
Starlight
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Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 4/12/2004 at 05:56 PM
A group of between five and twelve people forced to behave as if they are a
certain member of the animal kingdom instead of just humans. They are not
allowed to leave the house for anything other than walks or romps in the
backyard. Actually, they should actually have the house set up as a nature
garden and only domesticted type pets can live inside. There will be a
caretaker for the animals, but other than that they are to set out their
hierarchy of sorts. If there are multiples of the same animal, then they
may mate. If they mate with something other than their own species, then
they face the consequences of such mating. They may only eat the same type
of food that the animal they are living as would eat, and they will not
relieve themselves other than as an animal would. This includes covering up
their poo, and licking themselves clean. The ultimate goal of this reality
show would be to see who would survive at the end of it. Would some of the
animals kill off the other animals or would they weaken and leave the
house. Whoever is left at the end of the show as the top beast (which would
be determined by viewer voting) would be the winner and receive whatever
monetary award the show would offer.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
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pale-face
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Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 4/12/2004 at 10:37 PM
that is totally insane. i think you should talk to some one at Fox and make
it a show.
____________________ fucking classy.
angel_of_death
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Posts: 119 Registered: 4/4/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 5/12/2004 at 12:11 AM
wormwood i think u have a brilliant idea - i would certinly watch it
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Abbadon
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Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/12/2004 at 01:39 PM
I think you should have 'Chav Big Brother', take all the chavs, pikeys,
townies and garys and put them in a house. Forever. No cameras. Just lock
them all in there.
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W0rmW00d
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Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/12/2004 at 03:30 AM
ooh, i like that idea. can we put the chav big brother house underground
and sealed in six feet of concrete so that the chavness cannot escape until
im long dead by which time it will be other people's turn to worry about
the effects that chavs will have on the environment. Like burburry plants.
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
Abbadon
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Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/12/2004 at 10:23 AM
I'm sure some kind of mutant chav will imerge after several centuries. But
it will have survived from feeding on its fellow chavs. It could be used
for hunting down and eating any chavs that survived the 2004 culling.
____________________ Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
RedQueen
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Posts: 98 Registered: 18/10/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/12/2004 at 11:17 AM
So in Britain chavs are sort of the equivalent of American moronic white
ghetto-fabulon wannabees?
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conservatives, we'll be fine letting gays get married and creationism vs.
evolution in schools will be a laughable issue.
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pale-face
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Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/12/2004 at 02:16 PM
i believe so. chavs, townies, wiggers all the same thing.
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W0rmW00d
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Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 06:05 AM
Yeah, except instead of wanting to be bad-ass gangstaz from the ghettos
they want to be bad-arse drug dealers from the council estates.
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
nostalgiaforinfinity
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Posts: 33 Registered: 5/12/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 09:39 AM
And for some reason the female of the species travels in hired white limos.
I presume they think this makes them "classy", but the effect is somewhat
spoiled by them leaning out of the windows, bottles of buckfast in hand,
screaming at passers by that a) they would like to get them between their
legs or b) they would like to beat them up. At least they are seemingly
indiscriminate in who they shout at. They're all about equal
opportunites.
I always thought they should be put to work on a giant hamster wheel on an
island somewhere. Offer to transport them in a limo and you'll have no
problem getting them there, and the energy they produce can used to provide
electricity for the rest of the population.
[Edited on 8/12/2004 by nostalgiaforinfinity]
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Ironboots
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Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 09:51 AM
I want to see a reality tv show where the contestants (we'll need maybe 40
or so of them) attack the set of another reality tv show. Burning
backdrops, decapitated hosts, blood-splattered people running everywhere,
dead bodies in the hot tub...
I still haven't figured out which weapons set would be best... Medieval,
Guns and rifles, or futuristic laser and plasma weapons?..
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MystryssRavynDarque
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Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 10:11 AM
I'd have to choose medieval. I would like to see how well people today can
use those weapons. Though perhaps you could leave it up to an online
audience vote.
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nostalgiaforinfinity
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Posts: 33 Registered: 5/12/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 10:18 AM
Maybe have a random selection of weapons like Battle Royale? PLenty of
morning stars, axes etc, maybe a couple of old flintlock pistols and then
some more mundane objects. Deoderant can and lighter would be quite
entertaining. And i've always wondered how much damage you could do with a
cheese grater....
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Abbadon
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Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 01:58 PM
If you want to know what a chav is, look up 'misuse of Burbury' in your
dictionary.
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nostalgiaforinfinity
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Posts: 33 Registered: 5/12/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 02:18 PM
I think just 'use of burbury' would suffice.
[Edited on 8/12/2004 by nostalgiaforinfinity]
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Abbadon
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Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 06:47 PM
Well there is a select group living around Mayfair who in fact wear Burbury
the way it is supposed to be.
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pale-face
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Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 8/12/2004 at 07:17 PM
I think you should scrap the weapon idea. Make it a kamikaze mission. They
all get covered in gas and run on set and maul every one with flames.
____________________ fucking classy.
RedQueen
Member
Posts: 98 Registered: 18/10/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 9/12/2004 at 09:45 AM
Well, here in the States capital punishment remains a big issue, and I've
long pondered my take on it. I've decided the main problem with capital
punishment is its list towards the overly humane and the drain on tax
dollars. So:
All those sentenced to death are thrown in a big, muddy pit. At the bottom
are bits of glass, some bricks, big rocks, that sort of thing. Once a week
a carcass of meat (not a very big one, I'm thinking Cocker Spaniel sized)
is thrown in, and the condemned will have to fight for their meat. The
whole thing is televised, generating more money for the state, and seats
pit-side can be had at reasonably ludicrous prices. Families of the
victims get to make special cameo appearances where they have the chance to
shoot tranquilizers into the criminals who've wronged them, thereby
severely reducing that convict's chances of survival. Merchandise along
the lines of t-shirts reading, "My murderer ate your murderer's liver in
the Pit" would channel more money to the state, and to the commercial
contractors as well. It might even create more jobs.
Then there's the old, "Manhood or Mortality" option, wherein convicted
serial rapists are put in a building of some sort that's doused in pitch
and gasoline, have their dicks nailed to a wall, given a rusty dull razor,
and left to make a choice as the structure is set to blaze.
Yeah.
____________________ Today's liberals are tomorrow's conservatives. When my generation is the
conservatives, we'll be fine letting gays get married and creationism
vs.
evolution in schools will be a laughable issue.
But by god we'll be sticking it to the damn cyborgs!