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Author: Subject: Inventions We'd Like to See

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 04:51 AM
Okay, since there haven't been any new games in a while I guess I'll start a new one inspired by an issue of Mad Magazine my roommate left in the bathroom. If the title is a bit confusing, I will elaborate. Basicly, yoo think of something, no matter how useful or useless, possible or impossible, that yoo'd like to unleash upon the world but cant due to difficulty getting a grant, lack of research, or more likely because the idea is cartoonish and absurd.

I'll begin:

How about underwear with a charcoal filter in the seat so that people can tear ass all they want and nobody has to smell it.

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 
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Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 05:44 AM
I want to see an over-the-counter vasectomy kit, even though such an invention will put my vasectomy clinic out of business. I haven't actually opended my clinic yet, but as soon as I can get ahold of an abandoned meth lab, I'll be scheduling appointments.

 

____________________
< / hate >

 

Fanatic




Posts: 499
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 06:34 AM
Iim going to invent an automatic nappy changing machine, when I have nothing better to do. None of you had better steal my idea! Its mine! I'll make millions!

 

____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 07:19 AM
I don't know, Andree, I think a drive-thru vasectomy could not only turn a tidy profit, but be beneficial for society as well. Nurses could come out on roller skates, make a quick snip, hand yoo a lolly-pop, and have yoo on yor way! Brilliant!

And yoo could use exclusively my penile bandages which are not only designed to handle the inevitable erection, but reasonable amounts of vigorous stimulation as well (though using a condom is strongly reccomended to keep bandage intact durring said stimulation).

 

____________________


i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.




-ickgirl

 

Fanatic




Posts: 459
Registered: 15/2/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 08:00 AM
I would like to invent Highly skilled doctors and nurses...that will work for very low pay so that Andree's drive through vesectomy clinic won't have too many law suits to worry about.

 

____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak." ~ The Sandman, Dream Country

 

Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 10:05 AM
There won't be any lawsuits, because we will work underground and you'll have to sign a release form. The drive-thru might not work if we want to keep a low profile, but we will take walk-ins. Dunno how patients are going to walk out, but that's their problem. As I say to all my future customers, I can't say my methods will be painless, sterile, or legal, but the price is right. Squiddles, if you supply the bandages I'll throw your vasectomy in for free.

Oh, I have another invention but I'm keeping it secret because I don't want manufacturers to catch wind. That's what happened when I mentioned, out loud, that I was going to invent squeeze-bottle mayonnaise. Now they're making millions. They have spies everywhere! Where's my tinfoil hat!?

 

____________________
< / hate >

 

Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 10:19 AM
'Couse, the manufacturers don't need to catch wind anyway; that's what Squid's underwear is for!

 

____________________
< / hate >

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 10:27 AM
I would invent a gun that kills stupid people... but only for ten minutes at a stretch... gives em a chance to learn from it

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 11:24 AM
Pleasure droids/ sex bots. Sex sells people.

[Edited on 8/14/2004 by dead-cell]

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Fanatic




Posts: 459
Registered: 15/2/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 11:29 AM
damnit dead-cell you beat me to it....but just imagine...a robot that will serve you in every way...can you imagine it???

 

____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak." ~
The Sandman, Dream Country

 

Fanatic




Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 02:03 PM
I'd like to see something that gets rid of excess baby gas. Big painfull bubbles have no business in little tummies.

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 06:41 PM
My vasectomy clinic won't get rid of excess baby gas, but it will get rid of excess babies.

 

____________________
< / hate >

 

Fanatic




Posts: 459
Registered: 15/2/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 06:57 PM
MW: purhaps some sort of baby plunger is needed

I would like to create some kind of planet where anything is possible as long as you have an imagination...where you're only as good as your dreams...but like an amusement park(world) but without the lines

also...a drive thru reverse vesctomy clinic...and some way to repair what ever damage has been done to these poor guys genitals

 

____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak."
~

The Sandman, Dream Country

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 11:16 PM
the mute button. For people.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 11:34 PM
nnonono!!! IDIOT MUZZLES!!!

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/8/2004 at 11:53 PM
Idiots can still figure out how to take off muzzles. Mute button all the way!

1. Anti-stupidity pills. Readily available like pez dispensers for when your caught unprepared by stupidity.

2. X-ray glasses.

3. Big Red Buttons that do nothing other than tempt you to push them.

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"

myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"

co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."

-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/8/2004 at 12:26 AM
A bullshit meter that can be worn on your belt.

As soon as it detects that the bullshit being thrown in your direction has reached an unbearable level (you set your own tolerance level each time you wear the device),
a small iron fist pops out and hits the bullshitter in their genitals.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/8/2004 at 11:56 AM
http://www.under-tec.com/dp_article.htm

Squid, your idea already exists. I saw it in one of those shopping magazines like "Harriet Carter" or something like that a while ago. Sorry to burst your dream.

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/8/2004 at 12:02 PM
See? That's what happens when you say your ideas to anyone!

 

____________________
< / hate >

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/8/2004 at 01:15 PM
I would like to see the "free pass" invented. Everyone gets ONE per year, and it entitles you to say what you want, to who you want, without the repurcussions of say, losing your job, or going to jail. Included in this free pass would be one curb-stomp every 5 years. Curb and boots shall be provided.

And you're right, mrd, they have been invented, the guy who made them was on howard stern a couple years ago. He made them for his wife who has crone's disease. The only downfall would be the elimination of the extra powerful argument ender of the "dutch oven". I've got your WMD's RIGHT HERE.....*stuff*

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 
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