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Author: Subject: WTF... Over?

Fanatic





Posts: 247
Registered: 19/1/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:19 PM
I'm posting this as a newbie because I have no doubt in my mind that I am exactly that. I have no delusions of granduer that tell me I'm part of the inner circle of this site. Or even that my words mean a shit to anyone or anything that visits these pages. I spend a great amount of time trolling the forums reading what people say and never adding my two cents. Mostly because I believe that it is best to speak upon things you have knowledge in or that you are in involved in. I don't believe in opening my mouth just to hear something come out. Or in this case, move my fingers just to see words appear on the screen.

Now I say this from the reality that is my life. I am well known for pointing out the obvious to people and now I will do exactly that.

Since the site has been down and now back up I have been away mostly. Specifically because I have spent most of my time working, sleeping and spending time with two people who have become very very close friends and have, therefore, taken away all of my extra time to be online or spend with my boyfriends who are feeling rather jealous. Due to this I have returned to see the posts recently made and I am honestly scratching my head.

It is a reality of social interraction that not everyone is going to conform to your idea of tolerable. There are always going to be faults and dislikes of things that people do or say. Personally, when I come across someone who hits that certain thread of announce, I ignore them entirely. I don't read what they write. My eyes do not recognize their words.

So I guess I should get to my point of this post...

What is the point of pointing out what is wrong with everyone here? So someone posts the obvious over and over again. It is at least the obvious. Do we hope to replace those who have at least been tolerable with all out trolls of summer break? Is the point to run off the trolls by making ourselves look harsh to even our friends?

I'll be the first one to admit my faults. I have a MAJOR self esteem issue. I like who I am on the inside but not what others see on the outside. I'm overweight in my eyes. I've been ridden hard and put out to dry in truth. I've been cut with knives, burned, hurt and I have major trust issues. I feel unloved most of the time but I know I'm loved so I kick myself harder for being there.

I guess my point is that this site is not a goth site. This site has appealed to me because I see people here like me. People who are alternative but not goth. People who don't fit into any specific group or cliche. But it does not encourage those of us who are so sick of not fitting into other groups because of our "inability to be like others" to see other people who are actually like us ripping each other apart for being something others don't understand!

 

____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:27 PM
Rayce: We've all got faults. Except for that one guy... and, frankly, I'm getting pretty sick of his attitude. Anyway, I wouldn't fret too much about anyone's opinion. I've taken the approach that if I am being a problem to the operation of the site, then somebody should bring it to my attention privately and/or cancel my account. Just make sure your password still works and screw the idea that everyone is going to like you.

If you're looking for reassurance here, you seem savvy enough to me. You should sleep just fine.

~M.

 

____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:31 PM
First of all, Rayce, even despite yor relativly short membership here on Shmeng I think yoo are an excellent example of somebody who fit in immediatly and I myself never considered yoo a newbie.

Second of all, I think what is currently going on is constructive. And by this I mean destructive. I see it as a trial by fire for the entire site. Basicly we're all going to have a brief trip through hell and then everything will be nice again so I'm going to enjoy it because I doubt anybody's going to say anything I will take personally. The worst that can happen to mee is I could miss out on what people actually think about mee.

I like pretty much everybody here (at least everybody of note) but that doesn't change that I still have problems with plenty of people here. I feel We're all adults here (and those of Us who aren't are mature enough) and we can get past the bullshit.

But then I'll admit this could go horribl wrong. What can I say, I think it's worth the risk. It's better to burn out than to fade away.

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Fanatic




Posts: 247
Registered: 19/1/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:31 PM
quote:
Rayce: We've all got faults. Except for that one guy... and, frankly, I'm getting pretty sick of his attitude. Anyway, I wouldn't fret too much about anyone's opinion. I've taken the approach that if I am being a problem to the operation of the site, then somebody should bring it to my attention privately and/or cancel my account. Just make sure your password still works and screw the idea that everyone is going to like you.

If you're looking for reassurance here, you seem savvy enough to me. You should sleep just fine.

~M.


I think you misunderstand my point. I'm not pointing out one person at fault but many. This isn't just this one recent thread that has caused so much hurt but a long string of them I have seen since the trolls came back for summer break.

It just seems that everyone gets in this attack mode and keeps going even when there is no one to attack.

 

____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:36 PM
I can see where both of you are coming from. I was a little surprised to see the names of the pantheon and non-pantheon but still established mmbers turn up in Tough Love. I had thought the forum was reserved for rants counted by the paragraph, not by the sentence.

However, most of what I think you're objecting to, Rayce, IS a few sentences here and there. The sentence-long ones aren't trolls or twits, and while I think things might be shaky for a bit, I don't think all the luvvin everyone is receiving will make a lasting impact on anyone except the ones who get rants measured in paragraphs.

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:37 PM
Eep. I took too long to type my reply. In case the mistiming of my post made it unclear, by "both of you" I was referring to Rayce and Mono.

[Edited on 7/6/2004 by Alugarde]

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Member




Posts: 119
Registered: 4/4/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 12:11 AM
quote:
I guess my point is that this site is not a goth site. This site has appealed to me because I see people here like me. People who are alternative but not goth. People who don't fit into any specific group or cliche.


i agree, alternative but not goth, i think you really hit the target with that one.

 

____________________
I know whats it like to want to die, how it hurts to smile, how you try to fit in but you can't, how you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the pain in the inside.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 12:47 AM
rayce: you have proven yourself beyond a newbi... and i know that was not your point...

the purpose for such a thing was not attack mode, though it may look like that... the purpose of a forum like that is to remind EVERYONE why we came her in the first place...

and catharsis... frankly... certain things NEEDED to be said... others did not... I'll be honest when I say... I am surprised that there was only one complaint about me... and it was not my behavior that triggered it...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 247
Registered: 19/1/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 01:22 AM
quote:
Second of all, I think what is currently going on is constructive. And by this I mean destructive. I see it as a trial by fire for the entire site.


That is a good point there and a very true one. I can see that such a trial by fire cleans out those who will take offence to constructive advice pointed at them but the words I have seen have not been visually offered as constructive advice. It just seems that many are going 'yeah.. this person annoys the fuck out of me and has no point to their existance'. It just seems harsh.

But again.. this opinion is coming from a newbie (and yes.. no matter what everyone says.. I am a newbie in that I do not understand the dynamic of this site and the interaction of those who have been here much longer than I). This may have been a long "NEEDED" point for everyone but I just wanted to point out how it appears to those of us who are not involved in it.The entire thing just seemed harsh.

And again, as a newbie, I have no idea if this is normal here or not. If this is normal than I guess I will get used to seeing it over time. I definately won't have a problem with people pointing out my faults and will read over these listed faults with true open mindedness. But the presentation of the faults plus the presentation of responses to those faults just seemed very harsh to me.

 

____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 01:26 AM
rayce... I have seena few purges... and I still am baffled by some interactions on the site... one thing that you must learn... if you are told by the oldsters that you are not newbi... you are not... your posts are of a consitstent ethos, well thought out and you contribute to the site as a whole... you avoid noisy idiot admirably...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:27 AM
Rayce: I think you misunderstand my point. I'm not pointing out one person at fault but many. This isn't just this one recent thread that has caused so much hurt but a long string of them I have seen since the trolls came back for summer break.

It just seems that everyone gets in this attack mode and keeps going even when there is no one to attack.


Yeah, I probably missed the point. I also haven't figured out where that icon is that lets me quote people. Anyway... maybe closer to the mark this time...

I've seen people get their panties bunched here many, many, many times. Unwarranted attacks against the first thing they see standing, or they pull you out of a dead sleep and use your screen name in vain when you wait quietly for them to blow themselves out. It seems pretty harsh to the untrained observer, but it never amounts to more than a few weeks of pissiness and low blows followed by a few days when everyone congratulates themselves on who got to be the nastiest. My first post nearly got me run off as a troll when I suggested that everyone should try being a little less vitriolic. Happens.

I've adopted the attitude that, when the majority here start having a heavy flow month, it's not worth raising your blood pressure over. Either they are serious, or they are joking/ full of shit/ themselves. There's no reason to be upset by someone who is joking/full of shit/themselves; there's also no reason to be upset by someone who is serious, but whose opinion you never cared about in the first place. If someone cares about you, they will mention your flaws to you privately and not in a public shmeng fling. If they don't care, they aren't worth validating by getting bent out of shape over. Just ride it out.

And, to reiterate, you're doing fine.

~M.

 

____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."

 

Fanatic




Posts: 247
Registered: 19/1/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:36 AM
quote:
Yeah, I probably missed the point. I also haven't figured out where that icon is that lets me quote people.


There is a little button on the bottom of every reply to a thread that say "quote". Just remove what you don't want to be seen between the quote and /quote areas.

quote:
And, to reiterate, you're doing fine.


I prefer to feel humble. If I didn't then I would have a big head from all the big compliments I have gotten over the years from my photography as well as the comments from people that I am an "enlightened individual". Because to be humble to me is to grow. That is my way.

I will probably always consider myself a newbie here. It keeps me in perspective.

 

____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 06:13 AM
that is an enlightened way to view the world... I have my own version of it... I am like the big bad wolf or the troll uunder teh bridge... it is my lot in life to grab the morons on hte bridge... and the pigs in houses and skirts of straw

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 08:05 AM
Racye, if it makes any difference, it IS all harsh and mean. Some of it may even be cruel and hateful. That is because some things about a person arent going to change and we have to love them anyways. its good to not pretend those things that are less loveable to the other person (or people) dont exist. This purge stuff does happen, and it happens about once a year. the one time we didt have it, the site almost died completely.


I hate being called names and hated by people that havent even met me. I hate being taken for granted by people that dont ever say thank you. I hate being called on to be the bad guy for other peope so they dont have to be hated for saying the "mean" things that need to be said. and yet i still come here and i still do it. and sadly everyone that does meet me gets to hear (at some point) me whining about shmeng and how its become so strange and how no one ever sends in anything "good"( please keep in mind that "no one ever" is a total emotionally based exageration)

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 247
Registered: 19/1/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/7/2004 at 06:22 AM
I guess it makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. I mean, it is a great chance for everyone to get things off their chest that have been driving them crazy about others on the site. I can see were this would be a good thing. I'll get used to it I'm sure. And I'm sure I'll even become a target someday. LOL

 

____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold

 
 


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