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Author: Subject: Whine here about the LOVE you are getting, not in Tough Love

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 10:15 AM
I mean it. I can and will cancel your account if you litter up the Tough Love forum bitching that someone is being mean to you.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 01:30 PM
I must say, what Shade said hurt, bad. That doesn't mean it may not be true - I'll have to come back and think about it harder. I must admit that right now I'm flinching pretty badly.

But I admire his courage to come out and say the truth as he saw it. He certainly spared no one.

Perhaps what will separate "Us" from "Them" is how this criticism is taken. This may be the ultimate trial by fire.

Thankyou, Shade.

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 01:36 PM
I know what you mean. I suddenly feel all well guilty might be the word for letting down the people here by not fighting harder more often to make the fluff go away. And i am all defensive about it too.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 02:54 PM
Just to be totally and completely clear, what I said, I said to hurt. With of course the exception of what Callei said about me, and conversely, that was pretty pointed and painful as well. To some of you, I said what I said in the hopes that you would see the difference between what I believe you held true at one point and what you are doing now. Others I just want to see gone, Abaddon falls into this second camp. The rest of you are completely capable of sorting out which ones you are.

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me

 

Administrator




Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 02:55 PM
whine whine bitch moan fuck i hate when people are right like that.

although i am pretty damm lucky to have survived eating callei's last cookie

[Edited on 7/6/2004 by Devin]

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 04:42 PM
As a matter of fact, Schizo, I disagreed with what Shade said about yoo more than anythng else. I am always impressed by someone who can examine their own method of thought for many years (or in yor case yor entire life), recognise the faults in it, openly decllare that they were mistaken, and stil remain strong. This is why Malcolm X has always been my favorite ploitical activist.

What Shade said about mee on the other hand, had it's points, but get the hell over it, if I was going to stop I would have stopped years ago.

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 05:34 PM
Shade, some of your comments truly hit me hard. The reason I have not set a fixed personality for myself is because I have never truly had the opportunity. I grew up where I could not, around people who I could not be who I am around. I feel sometimes like I lost who I was supposed to be, or who I am to be with time. I had many shells which I pulled out of the "shoe box" to wear around the different people in my life. I may now have the opportunity to discover the person I am, the opportunity to destroy the shells I once wore. I now truly need the help of those around me to dispose of the shells and to find me. I have always felt my ability to make friends in any group of people was nice, but over the last year I have noticed that I do not like this. I have decided to be me. Mainly my coming out was the reason for this thinking. I will always be blonde though, and I will always have a cuteness about me because I love to make people smile and laugh.

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for lifeÖI don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 05:47 PM
no offense... I make people smile and laugh, but I am not cute...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 06:22 PM
Ouch. Although I must say, I agree wholeheartedly with what Shade said about me. I've recognized the disturbing growth of a sinister fluff-bunny in me for a while now, but have no idea just how to exorcize it. There's something deep inside me that really doesn't want to see anyone get hurt, even if they richly deserve it. I try to fix things too much, try to mediate too much, and most of the time what really needs to be done with any unreasonable person is for them to be taken aside and be told in no uncertain terms to cut it out or fuck the hell off. Thanks for bringing that one out into the open for me so I could give it a really close looking-over.

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 06:29 PM
"Schizo

You are just as guilty as Meranda, Devin pretty clearly said the time for diplomacy was not now, and within 26 hours you are in there preaching diplomacy. And when you get right down to it, you have gone from being very intelligent and holding to a belief structure you believed in to following and preaching a party line. There was a time when your religious belief was something we all believed in, be nice to those that deserve it, follow your own convictions, avoid those who spread nothing but drama, things like that. Now you have begun to speak the party line with one hand while asking for black magic with the other. The Schiz that used to exist was the type of person who would never have let things get to the point where she needed the local witches help, the Xian pod person who has taken over, apparently is."

Well, I read this, and I had to run, because I was going out with a friend who I thought was getting married next week and moving to Japan, but it turns out that she just broke it off with her Japanese fiance because she has fallen in love with her girlfriend. We went down to the lake and drank some beer and talked about it. Oh, and my car overheated, badly, since the thermostat is broken so I didn't know it was getting hot, so it's stuck at her house. But I'm back, and ready to face the music.

Shade, I really don't want to brush this all off if there is something I need to learn here, but I also refuse to grovel and pretend I'm wrong when I'm not.

About the whole diplomacy bit, where on earth did you get that? I read and re-read my post, and it was not diplomatic, unless you call saying that I don't know what to think about certain people was diplomatic. Personally, I call it truthful, and was in the process of researching these guys posts so I could tell if my gut feeling was based on fact before I flamed without thinking. But unfortunately, I had to leave for work before I could finish, and when I got back, I found that somehow I had been mistaken for being some kind of peacemaker, as if I had gotten too chicken to finish what I had started. Forgive me for doing my research.

And what on earth is so great about holding to a belief structure? Do you even know where I was coming from when I came here? I had just barely started letting go of a religion that I had always had suspicious feelings about, supressed just under the surface. I had done my thinking, and gathered up my courage, and taken the first few steps away from the only way of life I had ever known. I was taking it slowly, because it's scary to do something that you've been told since birth you would burn in hell for.

So I changed. What the fuck did you expect? Do you really want me to cling to beliefs that I don't believe in, just for consistency's sake? Do you really think that I would stay forever the same? I'm sorry if you think it a change for the worse. I'm sorry, but frankly that won't stop me. The transformation from believing what I've been told to believing what I've found for myself has lost me closer friends than you.

And what do you mean by a party line? You mean I sound like everyone else here? I won't deny that Shmeng has been a huge influence on the way I view the world. But what else would you expect? I'm not a college student. I can't travel. I really don't have many opportunities to challenge my status quo, and get me thinking about things I"ve never thought about before - except Shmeng. Shmeng has opened my eyes to many things, but I have never just bought it hook, line, and sinker. I take what I learn here, and think about it, and mull it over, and compare it to what I already know, and discover new things.

Hell, if I were just trying to be like everyone else in Shmeng, do you think I'd still be in a monogamous relationship? How un-vibey of me. Tons of what I find in Shmeng makes a lot of sense to me, and I've assimilated a lot of it, but I'm still the one who picks and chooses and does my own thinking.

And once again, if you don't like the mix, oh well. Even if you represented the opinions of all the worthwhile members of Shmeng, oh well. I've lived without Shmeng, I can do it again. I'll always find new opportunities to learn, and I will probably change more in the next three years. It's part of who I am.

As for the whole "black magic" thing, I apologize on my fucking knees for it. Hell, isn't that such a horrible thing, that Schizo the Great should actually get sick and tired of fighting a long, drawn out battle on her own, and actually ask for some help from her friends. I mean, it's not like I have anything else to do with my energy than keep fighting some leprous bitch who quite literally lives to try to make me miserable. God forbid that I actually make use of the resources at my disposal, namely some good friends who know their shit, and have some of them actually offered to help.

And what the fuck do you know about this mythical "old Schiz" who would NEEEEVER do a thing like that? Hate to break it to you, but it's an old pattern for me, and I would have thought you would have noticed it by now, seeing you know so much about me. I am, and always have been, a patient person up to a point, but once that point is reached, I snap, and I snap hard. Once I decide that a person no longer deserves patience, and that patience no longer serves me, I have no qualms about taking whatever drastic measures seem to suit the situation at hand.

You know, I hate to whine, and really I am generally pretty good at taking constructive criticism, but I really don't know what to do with this whole mess. To be perfectly honest, I think it's a load of bull. I don't claim to be perfect by any means. I am most definitely a work in progress, and I am in a kind of betwixt-and-between phase where I have torn down the old house, but the new house is far from finished. If that makes me seem a little shaky, maybe it's because I am. I've never done this before, and I'm doing it all by feel. And some things I will certainly do wrong, and have to take apart and redo.

And you know what, I'm pretty pissed off, now that I've come to the conclusion that this constructive criticism bit really hasn't done anything to help my construction. I don't know why the hell you suddenly had to come out of your woodwork and lay this upon us. As if you've ever contributed much beyond Toy Dolls, which, by the way, is magnificent, but still doesn't leave you very vulnerable to anyone being able to put the glaring spotlight on YOUR faults. Except your wife, who you already know loves you.

This is NOT what this whole thing is about! Do you want a Shmeng filled with perfect people? Well you can have an empty Shmeng then, because it ain't gonna happen. THIS is what I wanted to remind people in my oh-so-horribly diplomatic post. The purpose of the forum is not to nit-pick everyone's little issues, but to weed out the useless, dead-weight members from our midst. Yes, let's flame some trolls and twits, and get them the hell out of here, but let's not just start a wildfire that will rush along and burn out everything valuable along with the trash.

Anyway, I really don't care much. Hell, I survived twenty-odd years of fundamentalists picking apart everything anyone did wrong. I'm used to it. Didn't think I'd find it in Shmeng, but oh well. I guess people are much the same everywhere, no matter what they believe.

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 08:05 PM
You know if I'm so fucking hateful than why can't i think of hateful things to say about people.

And frankly if I have been taking on the voice of the people, which I think is a flagrant misreading of most of the things I've said, then where the fuck have you been, Shade? Sitting off in some lonely corner lurking around, as bad as a troll, but never coming on to say anything about anything until you feel like you have court sanction from on high. Fuck that, fuck you.

Being mean, and bitchy because you think you should, or have some kind of right to is one thing, but being mean and bitchy to people who generally respect you and think of you as someone of note just makes you mean bitch.

For most of my faults, and I have oh so fucking many, that you would accuse me of hatred really pisses me the fuck off. I'd ask you to show me, but I doubt you'd take the time anyway because your to busy hiding in your little corner of hell to do so, and frankly I don't care. I don't see the need for it anyway, regardless it's your opinion (and hear I go talking out the other side of my mouth) your entitled to it.

What makes me the most irate though, is your need to pick on people who generally donít deserve picking on, which includes Shciz, Mono, MJ, and even Callei. Whether you like it or not, regardless of whether you like their opinions, their actions, or their inactions, at least they are taking time out of their lives to be here at all. And please, donít misconstrue this as putting words in their mouth, itís simply my opinion of the situation.

Thatís my whining. Enjoy.



 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 09:45 PM
I have to say... Domkitten... come to my studio... and we'll let you see some boobies too...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:16 PM
quote:
no offense... I make people smile and laugh, but I am not cute...


Awww! Look at the cute little Fera-- Oww! He bit me!

(Sorry Feral, but I couldn't resist that one)

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 12:52 AM
Aluguarde... in my life time... i have been many things... but little is not one of them... I was 6'1" 220 in 6th grade...*winks* you're lucky i only drew a little blood... you could have lost a hand

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 07:42 AM
quote:

angel_of_death: I have learned not to talk much on Shmeng because I will always piss someone off.



And this is why we have these little moments of bile and explosion. Well, its one of the hundreds of reasons, but two that are well illustrated here are the fact that some people talk about how they have stopped speaking because they are afraid of pissing someone off, in the wrong forum mind you, instead of asking why they piss people off. It's this vicious cycle.

In the harshest light of reality though, if you look at the site stats and watch the action going on today and yesterday, this site has suddenly reached a level of activity that it lacked for a long time. Many of you are experiencing heartbeats like you were looking at porn, and everyone is watching the site like a hawk to see what happens next.

With the exception of Schizo, with whom I may have gone too far, and Abbadon who I really do just want gone, everyone else's criticism was of the type that we like to call constructive. Let me clue a lot of you in. The only difference between constructive criticism and bullshit criticism is that constructive criticism hurts because it hits home, and bullshit criticism hurts because the one who criticized didn't care enough to try.

So far, all of the criticism that has been aimed at me, including that which came out of the retaliations has been pretty close to the mark, a little emotional at parts, but that is a huuuuge part of the idea. If we don't get some kind of emotional kick out of things, what goood are they? At this point in the 'relationship', we have hit the point where a lot of us have a pretty good idea who we can and can't sleep with, so we are no longer suffering through hours of trying to see the nipple in that picture in the gallery. These days a lot of the well established members are getting more of a kick from watching the newbies try to screw each other.

And so we come to serious scorched earth troll bait criticism, quite honestly, no one has ever made the claim that this community is a fluffy one, true if we were at a Shmeng meet and we saw some fucktwit beating Abbadon up in the middle of the street, we would stop them and beat the shit out of the interloper. That doesn't mean we wouldn't then take the opportunity to get in a few kicks ourselves.

I have been accused of being emotionally unreachable and distant to the extreme that I leave nothing open to attack, damn skippy, if I've got a tragic flaw collection, that goes at the top of the list. In this though I will at least take the risk of speaking for the group when I say that we love with a fierceness that burns hotter because we can survive this shit. We love stronger because we do try to express the things that most friendships and families could never withstand.

And DomKitten: I challenge you to have said this in fewer words. You're right about me getting overly verbose though

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion. />
-Me

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 10:52 AM
Ouch Feral, talk about hitting straight to the bone. You are right of course, I have always been emotionally aloof and hard to reach. It means I miss out on much that life has to offer and that my friends get used to feeling a little (or a lot at times) alienated all the time. I've always been obsessed with being perfect, that's not to say I have been, just that I have always tried to be. I am actually truly aware that it is a lot easier to hang with someone who is human, I just haven't managed to drop this particular facade in all these years.

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an />
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with

no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>

-Me

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 11:14 AM
Shade man... it may have been true... but I was speaking out of pain... it was a realization that I cam to last night... and as usual... it took me a while to forge the words from my initial reaction to hurt... I lash out... as you have seen... but... it needed to be said... I don't care for you any less... but I desire to know one of my best friends...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 01:42 PM
Challenge Accepted,

What Shade said, as Haiku:

no listeners here
hurtful truth said to all near
growth lies behind pain

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:27 PM
Cute, generally ineffective when trying t impart knowledge to a non haiku oriented audience, but point made.

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>

all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness

with


no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of

religion.

/>


-Me

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:37 PM
I actually agree with what everyone says, for the most part. I am a bit too political. At times I will also be wrong about my points. I've tried to admit my wrongs and apologize when I am wrong, but if I am not doing it enough, then I suppose I should be trying harder.

On the "flip-flopping" part *maybe I misread*, I sometimes act like I am supporting another issue just for the sake of controversy. As far as the friends comment that Schizo made, I do try to get along with people if I can, despite differences in opinion, but eh...I've been quiet (as you noticed) for a while mainly because I figured that I was being annoying as Hells when it comes to politics.

As far as trying to "suck up", that was never my intent. Yes, I try to be nice, but it isn't me trying to get petted. If it seemed that way, that was not my intent.

I was getting the vibe that I was getting annoying, but I was waiting for someone to cut the leash. No, it was not my intent, but I also have a paranoid nature and therefore, have to wait for someone to tell me sometimes.

Anyway, I'll obey everyone right now and shut the Hells up.


[Edited on 7/6/2004 by Anya]

 
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