Subject: Sex workers, prostitution, and the other little things in the same boat.
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 28/4/2004 at 06:03 AM
Actually, most brothels in legalized prostitution areas do have a menu of
some sort. I still like Squire's mini quaotable:
"I'd like an order of anal sex please."
"Would you like head with that?"
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 28/4/2004 at 06:07 AM
OK, I've let this one go on a bit too long in waiting to see if anyone was
going to find the relevance in the original article. The reason I postedthe
link in the first place was in order to illustrate that in what is often
considered to be a simple no frills service industry, there is still more
negotioation going on than you will find in most vanilla couples.
Negotiation is a concept that has been brought up a lot lately on this site
and I wanted to show another area of life in which it is not only helpful,
but highly necessary for a successful interaction between human beings.
OK, back to your regularly scheduled debate. As you were
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Zero
Fanatic
Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 28/4/2004 at 12:12 PM
not to break our discussion but: i had never heard of relationships being
described as "vanilla" until i came here....so i guess i have to ask the
question: What exactly is a vanilla relationship? (and what is "virgin
porn" too?) just some things that were on my mind. come to think of it i
had never heard the term "poly" either...would someone like to
explain?....(i ask this with enthusiasm...not with sarcasm)
i always thought that in every (good) relationship there were negotiations
and compromises always being made...are you saying that this happens more
freuquently in certain types of relationships??
(I ask about "poly" because i've being surfing the waves of the internet
and i see different meanings of it...they all sound almost the same...but
then again many of them have different ideas about the meaning of the
term...and how the relationship works.)
(a new descussion??)
on second thought maybe these questions have been asked too many
times.....i just have a curious nature.
[Edited on 29/4/2004 by Zero]
____________________ "It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak." ~
The Sandman, Dream Country
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 29/4/2004 at 08:48 AM
Vanilla relationships are the opposite of kinky, anything-goes sexual
relationships... Nothing too far out of the mainstream.
Poly means multiple partners. For an expert on the subject, summon Devin.
As for virgin porn... I don't know. I suppose its just porn of virgins.
Anybody else know?
"Ass Magazine: The Porn of Virgins the World Over"
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 30/4/2004 at 06:28 PM
Virgin Porn is porn written by virgins who are trying to sound like they
know what sex is. It usually comes off as a badly written romance novel
with too little detail. For more info on Virgin Porn, ask Callei, she has
to reject too much of it as it is.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Zero
Fanatic
Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 30/4/2004 at 07:16 PM
hhmmm...that doesn't sound too good at all...i wonder if i could get an
example from callei...
I know poly means multiple partners it's just i've seen a couple of
definitions, from various places on the web that seem to conflict with each
other....as a wise woman once told me....i'm hard of thinking....lol...I
guess maybe there are different sub catagories of poly or something...looks
like i got more research to do.
Shade: so what is sex?...i'd like to hear(read) that explanation...sounds
like it would be an eye opener.
(again... all said without sarcasm or malice of any kind)
____________________ "It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak."
~
The Sandman, Dream Country
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 30/4/2004 at 09:12 PM
Poly doesn't mean necessarily multiple partners. If you want multiple
partners, go be a swinger. Polyamory means "loving more than one" . This
can be done with or without sex. It also brings all the baggage that
implies. For some reason, people are a lot more likely to get unreasonably
jealous if their partner admits being in love with someone besides them
than they are if their partner is just having sex with someone else. It's a
hard road to travel and not for everyone. It takes a lot of maturity to
accept that not only can you be very special to someone, but someone else
can be just as special and it doesn't mean that you are less special.
As far s prostitution goes, sure, I'd be all for its legalization. Nobody
has the right to tell you you can't sell your own body. It's your body. You
can do what you want with it, and if someone is willing to pay for its use,
and you're willing to let them, nobody should be able to tell you that you
can't. It's that simple, when you really get down to it.
Here's a group of activists working to address a lot of the issues we have
discussed. It's kind of neat to see.
Zero: Sex (as in "to have sex") is the act of hitting certain psychological
or physical 'buttons' in order to provide pleasure to self or others.
Generally, masturbation is considered a form of sexuallity, but actually
having sex involves two or more participants.
The reason Idescribed virgin porn as being by people "trying to sound like
they know what sex is" should be pretty obvious, but it probably needs a
clearer definition as (assuming the rest of the crew agrees with my
definition of sex) once someone reads the proceeding paragraph they could
logically claim to know "what sex is". So virgin porn should be defined as
porn written by people who have never had sex, or are still to new to the
act to be able to describe it. Basically "porn" (and I use the term
generously) written by virgins or people who are still so close to their
virginity that a relapse is possible.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Anya
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 2/5/2004 at 09:51 AM
Shade: Interesting, I always thought virgin porn being pictures of
"innocent and nubile" men and women posing nude in front of the camera. If
no one gets a clue of the person's suppose state, the bottom of the screen
would have "Wanna suck on this virgin?" or something like that. I learn
something new everyday, eh? No sarcasm intended...dead serious on what I
thought it was.
Meranda: Loving more than one actually makes sense to me. Even if the
person ends up in a monogamous relationship, I personally think that there
will be more than one person that people will end up loving in life;
sometimes the love disappears, sometimes it just stays. Polyamory, to me,
is just another step of those feelings for other people. I really do not
think there's many people who strictly loves just "one"...even among
monogamous people.
Zero
Fanatic
Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 2/5/2004 at 10:04 AM
of course people will end up loving more than one person in life...it's
kind of the reason why they say "First loves always end"...badly...there's
a reason why there's always a second and third etc.
I was just wondering around the net (i pulled a google) is all trying to
understand the terms, open marrage, poly, polyamery and all that. it just
seemed very interesting and many of those relationships do seem
complicated. (complexity is the "spice" of life, right?)
____________________ "It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will
speak."
~
The Sandman, Dream Country
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 2/5/2004 at 10:42 AM
Most interpersonal relationships are highly complex, it's just that in the
case of vanilla relationships; people are raised with the coping mechanisms
and skills built in. When you step out of what a lot of scared people
consider 'normal' you get into unexplored territory. The negotiation in
most vanilla relationships is assumed which is why so many relationships go
so wrong, outside of the vanilla world more people know that communication
is more important than anything else and are more likely to stay together
because they want to rather than splitting up or staying together for
crappy reasons.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
/>
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Zero
Fanatic
Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 2/5/2004 at 12:16 PM
hmm..... you do have a point...in many "vanilla" relationships the
negotiation process is on default....leaving the two thinking that what
they want, sexually or otherwise, is already out of the
question....although i don't doubt that there are some exceptions...in both
kinds of relationships.
____________________ "It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will
speak."
~
The Sandman, Dream Country
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 2/5/2004 at 06:01 PM
I found your last comment, Shade, to be very interesting.
To most people, vanilla is the comfort zone and anything else is dangerous
and scary. This is a website where a multitude of sexual flavors are
represented comfortably, if not encouraged. As a person with an extremely
vanilla relationship (I am marrying the only person I've ever had sex with,
not to mention the only one I've ever voluntarily kissed), it makes me feel
a little unadventurous at times.
But the thing is, what is safe and established to most (i.e. vanilla) is
actually dangerous and scary to me. I was not ever exposed to any
relationship options except for virgin marriage to someone who my parents
first approved, and with whom I had undergone the necessary courtship
rituals prescribed by the church. For me to venture out into the world of
sex before marriage, let alone marriage to anyone who did not grow up the
way I did, was very frightening and difficult, and something I had to
figure out from scratch. What everyone else took for granted, I had to
find out the hard way.
So to you, my relationship may be vanilla, but to me, it is adventure
incarnate.
As the Queen of Trash sings in "Elmo in Grouchland", "it's all about your
point of view!"
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
W0rmW00d
Fanatic
Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 1/12/2004 at 02:58 AM
I don't hunt my food, i buy it. i don't find my excitement, I buy it. I
don't acheive enlightenment, I buy it. I don't mak entertainment, I buy it.
I don't experience to create my knowledge, I buy it. I don't create my
warmth, I buy it. I don't find peace of mind, I buy it.
OH MY GOD, YOU WANT TO BUY SEX?
Everything I can think of that a human could ever want and more is bought
and sold legally. Grocers, theme parks, spiritual texts, electronics shops
schools, central heating company, off licences to respectively name where
one aquires each of these things for money. Why not sex? If I wanted sex
enough and did not want to go through all that would be necessary to get it
then I imagine I would, just like I don't always bother to fashion a spear
run around a forest and try to find a deer for dinner. Just that I don't
suppose that I would feel the desperation for sex so often as I do for
food.
We have food regulations but you can still buy out of date meat, the safest
rollercoaster in the world can break down, there isn't any regulation on
how people brainwash you.
No, legalisation would not solve all the problems with prostitution just as
nothing can ever solve all the problems with anything. There would be cheap
shags and expensive lovemaking, ripoff mercheants and good traders, chains
and indies. It would, in short, become a legal business. Just like every
other human want or need. The difference is that in this case there is
direct contact between the buyer and the 'manufacturer' as it were. I
wonder if that may not be a good thing. Maybe other industries could learn
something? No, I guess not. I forgot. Sex is illegal and immoral. And if
its not then it should be.
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.