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Author: Subject: Chameleon Cooking


Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 17/12/2003 at 09:49 AM
Well, he asked for it. Now that the Feral Fry has come to a close, it's time for our next victim. Democracy has Decided:

Chameleon is next.

I'm sure everyone knows the rules by now, but here they are again.

1) Chameleon cannot fight back, he can only taunt you into cooking him at higher temperatures.

2) Whoever frys him the most brutally is next. By frying him, you consent to this and can not change your mind later.

3) There is no rule against Squid or Feral participating

4) Keep it below the belt and personal - generic insults are lame

Time to turn on the oven and cook the little reptile. Go to it.


So Sayeth Me

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Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/12/2003 at 10:26 AM
I must say... I know why chameleon went medieval on me... I mean, he loved the dar ages... you can tell because he doesn't look so good in the light.


The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist



Posts: 83
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/12/2003 at 02:10 PM
Just remember folks, wear oven mitts: you wouldn't want to burn yourselves!

And this better be good ~ imagination is the key folks...

[Edited on 12/17/2003 by chameleon]


The perfect mind is like a mirror. It grasps nothing. It expects nothing. It reflects but does not hold. Therefore, the perfect man can act without effort.
~Chuang Tsu


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/12/2003 at 11:05 PM
*puts on my mitts*

One big problem with chameleon is that when he wants to take a picture, he will not show up in it. Damn that camouflage...

His tongue just keeps getting caught onto the strangest things.

When someone says a blind date, they did not literally mean "a date that cannot be seen."

On that note, I didn't realise how good lizard smells on the stove.



Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 09:54 AM

Chameleon has got to be the most ignored person here. Not for lack of trying on his part, but because he fades into the background as soon as you look away from him. That's why he wanted to win the Feral Fry so badly. Negative attention is better than no attention at all...

Chameleon did try to go on dates, but the ended five minutes into it, because his dates looked away for a minute, and couldn't find him when they looked back. Then they got bored and wandered off.

Someone did once start to check and see if chameleon had a personality. Not finding chameleon anywhere about, they looked for traces of him. After finding some past posts, the conclusion was: He has a personality, if he's standing next to someone who has more personality than they need.

chameleon once left Shmeng for a while. Nobody noticed he was missing. One day, he showed up, saying, "I'm back!" And people just scratched their heads and looked at each other in confusion. When they looked back, they couldn't remember what they were confused about...

on a final note, Good job, chameleon, for finally getting your name noticed. here's hoping you don't let your camoflauge hide you away again.




Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 12:26 PM
Who the fuck is Chameleon?



i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.



Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 04:20 PM
Poor chameleon. We can only notice his name for we only see landscapes in all of the pictures he sends. Eventually Devin had to request him not to send anymore pictures of him since it was all redundant landscapes and rooms in houses.

Whenever he speaks, he makes people report hearing voices in their heads. I remember feeling like I was schizophrenic because I could not see him when he tried to talk to me. Maybe I am schizophrenic now because I am rambling on about this chameleon person.

I would say that when he goes on dates, he makesh is girls feel stood up. He sure knows how to make a girl feel ditched from time to time, as well. I think he tries, though. One time he painted himself, but alas - it was raining that day.

Maybe I should congratulate chameleon...after all, people not noticing him serves as an advantage. People wonder who is tripping and pranking around here. On the other hand, he never gets credit for anything. Why not? No one can see anyone or give anything to someone they cannot spot.



Posts: 83
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 05:37 PM
Want me to call in Martha Stewart to help you poor souls? I'm sure she could give you a few tips on reptile flambe...


The perfect mind is like a mirror. It grasps nothing. It expects nothing.
It reflects but does not hold. Therefore, the perfect man can act without

~Chuang Tsu



Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 07:49 PM
Standing on the backs of giants as it were...

He goes by the name "Chameleon" because in Jaw-Juh, "Cardboard personality" has nineteen syllables but "Chameleon" only has one.

People think he's Irish when they see his Celtic Knot tattoo, until they see the hyphenated names ("billy-joe-sue") and realise it is his family 'tree'.

He fears every day that he will be arrested, because everybody knows that plastic sex toys are illegal in several southern states, especially those used for anal play, and he is worried that he fits the definition.

That curly tail is wonderful for reach-arounds, just ask Funny Cide. (yes, you might have to use Google to get this joke, it wouldn't hurt you to fucking think.)

When he announced "I'm back" some time ago, he was referring to his recent jail term and meant to say "I'm a bottom!"

Don't worry, Chameleon, the other testicle should drop before graduation. You should get fuzzy down below, too.

He dreams of someday owning a "Hemi", and thinks that "Joe Dirt" was a documentary.

I wouldn't say he's bad at fellatio, but that is largely because the money I make from pimping him keeps me fat on White Castles.

The other day when I was doing his mom from behind with a thumb up her ass, she whimpered that it was so much better than him because he's all thumbs.

He thinks Dayton, Ohio is "the big city out East".

He plays with Sticupus's prong more than Sticupus does.

He was disappointed when he learned that Stone Mountain wasn't where you got the fun drugs.

He once enrolled in nursing school, until he learned that they didn't mean "breastfeeding".

To add a literary bent:
"Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out." -Taken from: Romeo and Juliet

They call him "Quick Draw McGraw" in school, and he is flattered because he thinks that means he is related to Tim.

He thinks Devin is a hot chick because where he is from, the difference between boys and girls is that girls have long hair in front.

I wouldn't say he's a slut, but that's because you know how sluts stop putting out when you call them that.

The other day I woke up and shot an elephant in my pajamas. Why Chameleon was ejaculating on my high heels, I'll never know.

I don't want to say he's easy, but the people who make rest stop bathroom stalls print "for a good time call" and his phone number on the backs of all the doors.

I wouldn't say he's perverted, but the sheep where he lives all hanged themselves with belts they made from snakes and the local dry-cleaner won't wash his clown suit anymore.

True chameleons are not indeginous to the United States, but "American chameleons", or Anoles, are. Anole is Spanish for butt-sex.

He likes carrots.

He knows my tailor.


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 10:07 PM
Martha Stewart is dealing with legal issues at the moment...back in the pot! *throws chameleon back in* Ah shit...missed. Damn those chameleons.

In addition to Rogue's comments, chameleon one time asked to be adopted by a lady..but for one, she didn't know that he is a sneaky prankster and by all means, she assumed he was too old for breastfeeding.

You're supposed to be nice to your owners, not bite them.

It isn't nice to leave your sperm on sandwiches...who knows who will get sick from the 'mayonaise'...

I'm sure those look like hotdogs, but they are technically muscles that were erected...not to mention still attached to a living being.

[Edited on 12/19/2003 by Anya]


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 10:17 PM
When in an interview, he convinced the businessman of hearing voices and caused his company to go out of business, hurting the economy.

He nearly starved to death once for no one could see who they were feeding.

The boy didn't notice a difference between a man's hairy nipple and a bug...that gave hima beating.

A woman's head is not your personal lavatory.

It is rude to stare.


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 10:25 PM
People at Joe's Resturant literally ate and got gas...though not their own.

Women find it hard to lay chameleon (when they can see him) because he is so small, by both weight and "proportions."

When giving oral sex once, his tongue got stuck in the process and had to be removed by surgical means.

Chameleon is obviously a masochist...otherwise he would not call for the negative attention from insulting Feral.


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2003 at 10:48 PM
*chuckles* I wold insult the poor bastard... but just look him... I call mercy


The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/12/2003 at 11:07 AM
No, seriously. Who the fuck is chameleon?



i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/12/2003 at 10:28 PM
Squid you get to the heart of it, who the fuck is the chameleon person?

Chameleon has to be the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, he's a sherry-sipping Frenchman in a latex mini-skirt.

I bet you put pubic hairs between your teeth just to make it look like you get laid!

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth, you slivering spawn from a hemorrhoidal leper's rectum?

You couldn't get a job cleaning shit off a toilet, you utterly useless wrinkled balloon in a muddy puddle of goat's piss. I've seen wounds that were better dressed than you are, you toad-lickin', hound-kickin', snot-flickin', inbred swamp spawn!

Why don't you stop gyrating that gaping misplaced asshole of a mouth on your face for a fucking minute so I can see what the fuck a gibbering witless gimp actually looks like?

I mean, for god sakes, the man calls himself a chameleon! I've never seen someone change into a walking dildo so quickly before.

Chameleon is appropriate because you'd face legal action for your attempt to impersonate a man, you ridiculous little mascara face-painted Jerk-In-The-Box.

Chameleon is the kinda of chronic alcoholic who molests small animals, masturbates behind bushes, and wears fish-net tights while singing Barry Manilow songs.

Chameleon has to be the lowest of the low, the dumbest of the dumb, and the most pathetic attention whore on the planet. I mean seriously, he's so ugly he has to pay to go down on ugly transsexuals in alleys.

And whether you think it or not, changing into a brick wall doesn't make you less of a dil-hole, and we can still see the cum stains around your mouth from sucking your own tiny-tot dick.

Now, my little ankle-humping hermit, do me a favour and get your clubfoot stuck on a busy train track.

[Edited on 12/21/2003 by Domkitten]


It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/12/2003 at 07:59 AM
Women tell chameleon that the biggest part of his body has to be his tongue and eyes.

He seems to give better head than oral sex (especially after that surgery), according to some critiques.

The term "incubus attack" or "hag attack" comes because people feel chameleon crawling on their body and seem to not know what it is.

Here I am, rambling about this chameleon figure, being gullible to people's experiences with him...alas, this guy drives me mad.

I guess when the guy wants to throw shit at people, at least he wont get caught...not so easily, anyway. On the other hand, mention that the chameleon did it all would place all blame on him...just like people blaming the Devil for things.


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/12/2003 at 08:10 AM
When the preacher said, "Love thy neighbour," he didn't mean you to scare him by 'loving' him. No wonder people think there's demons around...(original thought by: Rogue)

When the guy had to go to court one time, he was accused of ditching for no one could see him.

Charlie's Angels was based off phone calls and technological messages by chameleon.

Devin sometimes forgets who is taking up his bandwidth on his site for the boy is damn hard to notice from time to time. Poor Devine.

I guess Squid is having a hard time trying to find out who has been abusing his tentacles...since he cannot see this person.


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/12/2003 at 04:51 PM
*is obviously looking forward to a stir-fry*

Chameleon has problems finding a job since every job he applies for accuses him of not showing up at the interviews.

The boy came to this site because it may be the only place anyone could ever notice him......he was almost right on that assumption.

He tried to get laid in Vegas once, but the pimp couldn't find who he was dealing with and the hooker had a heart attack.

The boy is probably better off invisible...being one of the few that has seen him not camoufladged, he turned me into stone.

*stops on the invisible jokes for now*

The only pick-up lines he knew in Chinese were, "Give me head!"...that got him in big trouble with all parties involved. The guy was lucky that he didn't get his organs donated while in prison.

I never seen someone quick to be a masochist before. Unfortunately for Chameleon, sadists are quick to know what hurts him more than anything: not do anything to "hurt" him.

As far as the "walking dildo" comment goes, I also never seen someone so quick to fall in love with his jail-date named "Bubba."

[Edited on 12/22/2003 by Anya]



Posts: 83
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/12/2003 at 03:05 PM
Who the fuck am I? I am before your time Squid, so don't worry your little head about it.

Now, lets see if I can get that picture sent to Devin so you saps will have more to work with. Obviously, you people are short of ideas.


The perfect mind is like a mirror. It grasps nothing. It expects

It reflects but does not hold. Therefore, the perfect man can act


~Chuang Tsu


Extreme Fanatic

Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/12/2003 at 07:33 PM
hmm, I read everything that goes on here. and most of the stuff that never makes it too. i have been here since it was like 5 of us and a quick trip to disney land if you failed the test. i cant say that i remember you. at all. for anything.

no wait, didnt you sometimes say something in the forums? like something in that pants no pants debate? and didnt you once say something about a bad love affair? or am i confusing you with someone else, like squid.

its not just that your nick leaves you open to ridicule as a pseudonym for someone else. Its not jsut that you only show up occationally and tend to say "darn did i miss something?" , it not just that you have yet to brave the comments and post a pic. its that you arent that memorable. All we can do it make fun of the shadow puppet that we do see, that simularum of a member.

You want a better roasting? have some meat to your comments.


Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

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