OK, here goes. You know in all this time I've never started aforum? this
is kind of neat!
Alright, the question before you, the audience is this: I have the next
four chapter of Toy Dolls written, and in the proofreading and editing
process I have noticed a bit of a trend. While each chapter is, I think,
relatively well balanced, I'm wavering back and forth between adding more
sex, or being more explicit with the sex (in some cases I know that seems
difficult, but you should see some of the scenes I tossed). I'm finding I
really like the plot and I don't want to compromise it by leaning to hard
on the sex scenes. So what do you guys think? More plot? More sex? More
(shudder) preachy?
I'd love to know, and in this case i will take opinions into consideration.
I may post some of the outtakes (yeah, they happen in writing as well as
movies) for kicks, the payboy bunny scene was particularly bizzarre I
thought.
So let me know what you think. These questions may become more clear as the
chapters come out, so feel free to change your mind too.
Thanks all, and Devin, I swear half the psychotic writing binge I've been
on has been powered by the fact that I knew Shmeng was getting a makeover.
You rock!
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me
MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 12/7/2003 at 08:36 PM
OKay, so hey, I like the sex scenes. They are hot, and boy do they get me
that way too. I am needing to know what happened to the girl from the
beginning though, this is really starting to drive me mad. I believe that
if we have too many sex scenes, we will continue to circle and circle and
circle, and never reach the ending. Finish out the story, and give us some
smut. But you truly shouldn't be asking us. This is for you. This is
what you enjoy. This should make the author happy, not just the reader.
Do this for yourself Shade.
____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 13/7/2003 at 05:29 AM
Thank you MRD, No worries, I haven't forgotten Dream. And you point about
the story getting cyclic is kind of the thing I was looking for. I'm
definatley writing this for myself, but in doing so I'm also trying to use
the rest of you as sounding boards to improve the story, the style and the
content of the story overall. And I am definitely still enjoying the
writing process!
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Devin
Administrator
Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
posted on 13/7/2003 at 10:14 AM
As far as the balance of sex to plot, I think you've been getting it right
so far. Just look at previous chapters if you're looking for what to do
with future chapters. After reading the unreleased chapters, It's good to
see the plot moving forward, but people still getting leaid.
____________________ So Sayeth Me
Squire-of-Gothos
Fanatic
Posts: 206 Registered: 1/1/2003 Status: Offline
posted on 13/7/2003 at 06:42 PM
Yeah I agree with Devin, the plot to smut ratio is pretty damn good so far.
I would go for the "make them more explicit" rout, that way more sex isn't
added so as not to ruin the ratio, but the sex will get hotter as time goes
on. Ok, that made no sense, but yeah. And preachy=evil, grrrr for preachy.
I think if you stick with the same formula as before, but continue to
progress into the story (I'm curious about Dream too!) you will keep on
making people melt with pleasure and joy.
P.S. When I read the first couple of Toy Dolls awhile back, it was really
great to me, because it helped me to figure out myself and my sexual
orientation (I dig the domination, but that my friend, is for another
post...) so yeah, you rock!
____________________ “The only thing that can alter the good writer is death.”
“You know that if I were reincarnated, I’d want to come back a buzzard.
Nothing hates him. He is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat
anything.”
Faulkner
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 14/7/2003 at 06:39 AM
Thanks guys. That is really helping alot. I wanted to make the question as
broad as possible to aoid biasing anyone, but my primary curiousity was if
I was managing to hurt the story by shying away from the severely explicit
sxe scenes, or if anyone thought that more explicit or longer sex scenes
would actually detract. It sounds like the consensus (can you have a
consensus with three votes?) is that the sex is good, don't mess with it.
Which is great, that means I don't have to make any weird mental effort to
write the scenes out longer than I think they should be. And don't worry,
the story is definately progressing, and while on occasion I am being
clearly guilt of giving Xeno superhuman recovery time, I thibnk all in all
I'm developing his personality well too. Which is turning out to be more of
a pain in first person than I thought it would.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Merry_Widow
Fanatic
Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 14/7/2003 at 01:10 PM
I'll add my own echo. Four makes a better consenus than three, no?
I thought the way you had everything balanced was great. The sex was there
to advance plot and character development. It never got in the way of what
was going on, nor was it used, as I have seen in other writings, to add
meat to a weak bit of work.
I have reread all of them, and when they are all taken into acount, at the
same time, it is easy to see that the pacing moves along at a good steady
rate. The formula you are using works very well, and I would see no reason
to change it.
As for the question of the explicitness of the sex scenes, I would say go
for it. I have no doubt that you are more than capable of handling such
scenes with style and grace.
I can't wait for the next posting.
____________________ Okay, dazzle me.
Anya
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 14/7/2003 at 01:31 PM
Sex is okay in a story...contrary to what my mom thinks (she thinks no sex
is better, but eh). However, there has to be a balance between the sex and
the plot and the sex should not be irrational to the whole plot. Let me
set an example:
In the movie Ninth Gates, the dude finishes seeing a guy burn and die, then
jumps in the car. Out of out of the blue, the main girl is there and she
starts getting freaky with him...without any apparent reason than for just
a tits and ass scene.
I'll be blunt here... I've not read all of the parts to your story, but
from what I've seen of your works, you've got things well balanced. Just
be sure not to immitate the scene I explained above. Smut is fine if it
flows with the plot well.
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 16/7/2003 at 07:26 AM
this may sound snotty, but it isnt intended that way... you may not be old
enough to read this story, by the laws of you state.
In most states you have to be 18, and in some 21 to read this kind of
stuff.
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
Anya
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 16/7/2003 at 08:38 AM
Hmm, good point. Eight monthes then, lol.
Dense
Member
Posts: 73 Registered: 5/6/2003 Status: Offline
posted on 17/7/2003 at 11:27 PM
Shade You are going in the right direction with this. The sex is hot. The
plot is interesting. What I like best is the way you are expressing you
oppions on sex. Keep it up
____________________ i am a misunderstood genius... Nobody understands that i am a genius!