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Author: Subject: Sex or PLot? Toy Dolls related

Fanatic





Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 05:46 PM
OK, here goes. You know in all this time I've never started aforum? this is kind of neat!

Alright, the question before you, the audience is this: I have the next four chapter of Toy Dolls written, and in the proofreading and editing process I have noticed a bit of a trend. While each chapter is, I think, relatively well balanced, I'm wavering back and forth between adding more sex, or being more explicit with the sex (in some cases I know that seems difficult, but you should see some of the scenes I tossed). I'm finding I really like the plot and I don't want to compromise it by leaning to hard on the sex scenes. So what do you guys think? More plot? More sex? More (shudder) preachy?

I'd love to know, and in this case i will take opinions into consideration. I may post some of the outtakes (yeah, they happen in writing as well as movies) for kicks, the payboy bunny scene was particularly bizzarre I thought.

So let me know what you think. These questions may become more clear as the chapters come out, so feel free to change your mind too.

Thanks all, and Devin, I swear half the psychotic writing binge I've been on has been powered by the fact that I knew Shmeng was getting a makeover. You rock!

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me

 
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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/7/2003 at 08:36 PM
OKay, so hey, I like the sex scenes. They are hot, and boy do they get me that way too. I am needing to know what happened to the girl from the beginning though, this is really starting to drive me mad. I believe that if we have too many sex scenes, we will continue to circle and circle and circle, and never reach the ending. Finish out the story, and give us some smut. But you truly shouldn't be asking us. This is for you. This is what you enjoy. This should make the author happy, not just the reader. Do this for yourself Shade.

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 05:29 AM
Thank you MRD, No worries, I haven't forgotten Dream. And you point about the story getting cyclic is kind of the thing I was looking for. I'm definatley writing this for myself, but in doing so I'm also trying to use the rest of you as sounding boards to improve the story, the style and the content of the story overall. And I am definitely still enjoying the writing process!

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion. />
-Me

 

Administrator




Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 10:14 AM
As far as the balance of sex to plot, I think you've been getting it right so far. Just look at previous chapters if you're looking for what to do with future chapters. After reading the unreleased chapters, It's good to see the plot moving forward, but people still getting leaid.

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 

Fanatic




Posts: 206
Registered: 1/1/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 06:42 PM
Yeah I agree with Devin, the plot to smut ratio is pretty damn good so far. I would go for the "make them more explicit" rout, that way more sex isn't added so as not to ruin the ratio, but the sex will get hotter as time goes on. Ok, that made no sense, but yeah. And preachy=evil, grrrr for preachy. I think if you stick with the same formula as before, but continue to progress into the story (I'm curious about Dream too!) you will keep on making people melt with pleasure and joy.

P.S. When I read the first couple of Toy Dolls awhile back, it was really great to me, because it helped me to figure out myself and my sexual orientation (I dig the domination, but that my friend, is for another post...) so yeah, you rock!

 

____________________
“The only thing that can alter the good writer is death.”
“You know that if I were reincarnated, I’d want to come back a buzzard. Nothing hates him. He is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat anything.”
Faulkner

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/7/2003 at 06:39 AM
Thanks guys. That is really helping alot. I wanted to make the question as broad as possible to aoid biasing anyone, but my primary curiousity was if I was managing to hurt the story by shying away from the severely explicit sxe scenes, or if anyone thought that more explicit or longer sex scenes would actually detract. It sounds like the consensus (can you have a consensus with three votes?) is that the sex is good, don't mess with it. Which is great, that means I don't have to make any weird mental effort to write the scenes out longer than I think they should be. And don't worry, the story is definately progressing, and while on occasion I am being clearly guilt of giving Xeno superhuman recovery time, I thibnk all in all I'm developing his personality well too. Which is turning out to be more of a pain in first person than I thought it would.

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an />
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with

no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>

-Me

 

Fanatic




Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/7/2003 at 01:10 PM
I'll add my own echo. Four makes a better consenus than three, no?
I thought the way you had everything balanced was great. The sex was there to advance plot and character development. It never got in the way of what was going on, nor was it used, as I have seen in other writings, to add meat to a weak bit of work.
I have reread all of them, and when they are all taken into acount, at the same time, it is easy to see that the pacing moves along at a good steady rate. The formula you are using works very well, and I would see no reason to change it.
As for the question of the explicitness of the sex scenes, I would say go for it. I have no doubt that you are more than capable of handling such scenes with style and grace.
I can't wait for the next posting.

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/7/2003 at 01:31 PM
Sex is okay in a story...contrary to what my mom thinks (she thinks no sex is better, but eh). However, there has to be a balance between the sex and the plot and the sex should not be irrational to the whole plot. Let me set an example:

In the movie Ninth Gates, the dude finishes seeing a guy burn and die, then jumps in the car. Out of out of the blue, the main girl is there and she starts getting freaky with him...without any apparent reason than for just a tits and ass scene.


I'll be blunt here... I've not read all of the parts to your story, but from what I've seen of your works, you've got things well balanced. Just be sure not to immitate the scene I explained above. Smut is fine if it flows with the plot well.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/7/2003 at 07:26 AM
this may sound snotty, but it isnt intended that way... you may not be old enough to read this story, by the laws of you state.
In most states you have to be 18, and in some 21 to read this kind of stuff.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/7/2003 at 08:38 AM
Hmm, good point. Eight monthes then, lol.
 

Member




Posts: 73
Registered: 5/6/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/7/2003 at 11:27 PM
Shade You are going in the right direction with this. The sex is hot. The plot is interesting. What I like best is the way you are expressing you oppions on sex. Keep it up

 

____________________
i am a misunderstood genius... Nobody understands that i am a genius!

 
 


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