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Author: Subject: Age and Attractiveness

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 12:44 AM



I've been beating myself up a lot lately for what is a really superficial and unnecessary reason.

The last time anyone asked for my I.D. for alcohol was about two years ago. This didn't really bother me all that much until I had to listen to my boss (who's a good friend too) carry on about how young she looks, and how hot she looks, and how apparently every male who talks to her is "hitting" on her. I know most people think she looks pretty close to her age (which is 31), but she's convinced she looks no older than about 20. This in itself is not threatening, but when she began to make it obvious that she thinks only her and those under the age of 25 at work are "really" being flirted with, well it hit a nerve with me (a lot of nerves really). Suddenly overnight, I felt like I'd aged five or ten years.

I'm not sure why it got into my head that way. Realistically even though she and everyone else at work has a steady boyfriend or fiance, and I'm very married, all of us get flirted with. I just manage to slip a comment relating to my husband, when it seems someone is getting the wrong idea with the talking or flirting, while she fails (quite often) to mention her boyfriend or makes her relationship seem less serious than it is. My husband says she feels threatened because she is not in a stable loving relationship, and that she needs to make me think I'm less attractive than her in order for her to feel better about herself. Well after the last few days, I'm more and more certain of this.

I'm 37 and my husband is 30, and most people assume we are both about the same age as each other (whatever that age might be). I can't understand why I think I need to feel like I'm still attractive to people who are much younger than I am, but I guess it's that little thing in my head that doesn't realize I'm old enough to be some of the other employees' mother. My husband says that I relate to the younger people really well because I'm just cool and some people are just cool and others just aren't. This made me feel a lot better about myself.

I'm not afraid of being older, I think I'm just a bit afraid of being less attractive. I guess I need to find a way to become more secure that looking twenty isn't what makes you look attractive, and that you can be attractive at any age. Heck, I know I sure don't want to be attractive to most of the things that are attracted to my boss. I guess I just need to learn to translate her backhanded compliments (and they seem to be becoming more and more frequent) as her own insecurity, and nothing more than that.

*Goes off and tries to be herself for herself and to not worry about being anything else but that.*

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 34
Registered: 29/4/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 06:59 AM
Attractiveness to me isn't as much about a young appearance as it is about how much everything about that person seems to be "right". I know quite a few women that don't look particularly good on photographs. But when you meet them you soon realize that everything - looks, gesture, their way of speaking etc. - just fit together perfectly. All these things together are what make me consider a person as being attractive or being not. And although nobody will believe me because I'm a male being who's only interested in T&A I have to say that physical attractiveness to me is the least important factor... with the exception of her eyes and her smile.

Oh, and one last sentence concerning the title of this topic: Compare how Sean Connery looked in the seventies and how he looks today, that should proof that age and attractiveness don't exclude each other.

 

____________________
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 07:49 AM
I personally do not care to buy into the Hollywood notion that a skinny body, unwrinkled skin, and regular features are necessary for beauty. To me, all that is necessary is a beautiful personality, and not to actively do anything uglifying to yourself, like giving yourself a nasty hair-do, make-up job, outfit, or obese body (or anorexic, for that matter). People are naturally beautiful, no matter what their features or body-type. I personally have a taste for odd features and laugh-lines. I'm kind of pissed that I am not getting laugh-lines quickly enough.

Was it Michaelangelo who prefered to paint the "ugly", because they had more interesting faces? To me, a face has to be interesting, to have character, to be truly beautiful.

So many otherwise "perfect" faces and bodies are marred by a nasty disposition. Some people style their beauty away.

Each age has their own beauty - babyhood, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, old age - they all are lovely. It is the curse of our time that middle age and old age are robbed of their claims to beauty - unless of course they can botox and face lift their way to appearing younger.

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 

Member




Posts: 62
Registered: 5/10/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 08:52 AM
Interesting points Schizo, I'd have to agree with you there. Although I look younger than I am *flips hair*
No... thats not good when you're sixteen?

 

____________________
Let viagra bring the magic back.

 

Administrator




Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 09:30 AM
Go rent a bunch of Sex in the City tapes. Watch the older blonde and take notes.

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 

Fanatic




Posts: 499
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 09:35 AM
Time is an ocean in which we must drown.

 

____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.

 

Member




Posts: 58
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/6/2003 at 11:28 AM
It really has less to do with your beauty and more with her self confidence. Her self worth is pinned on others' opinions of her appearance, thus the attempts to look younger. On a scientific level men are supposed to find younger looking women attractive because of their ability to produce healthy children. When I am over thirty I do not want to be thought of as little more than a womb with legs. A person who is over thirty and attractive becomes timeless in a sense, they gain a sense of sophistication that does not leave even if they lose aspects of their faces due to accidents or stroke.

And what good is being attractive if you do not have the self confidence to believe it? Those who rely on others for their self esteem are miserable creatures who must become something they are not in order to be happy. It sounds to me that you have confidence, and that is more appealing than physical features. Also, an unattractive person (physically or mentally) person who looks eighteen is still unattractive.

 

____________________
"Truth is always on the move. It is always somewhere, but never in the foreground, never on the surface."
-Franz Marc

 

Fanatic




Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 12:35 AM
Sean Connery. Nuff said.

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 01:36 AM
Sean Connery, good point! He was grody when he was young, and he aged like wine (into vinear of course)! Good god, how the fuck do people find him attractive? Oi...

Anyway, I've been seeing an 18 year old since March and it's been wierd. I went her higschool graduation recently, we never go anywhere yoo need an ID, and I'm enjoying every second of it! It sucks because now I'm looking at higchool girls and thinking "heeeeey!" Until this girl I've always dated people within a year or two of my age but kids aside, I know know quite a few older women (and by older I mean older than my 2 year radius, thus anyone 26 and older) who are every bit as beautiful as 18 year olds (maybe not MY 18 year old but still...)

I mean hell, age shouldn't be a factor unless (a) yor a kid or (B) yor senile. I don't care HOW old Carolyn Jones (the original Morticia Addams) is, I would be all over her...

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 05:41 AM
I know how it is to have a low self-esteem from time to time. But eh...who would want to be a sickly anorexic blond with implants? Not me.

I may have problems with my appearance, but I think every other human is pretty much beautiful in their own way. Physical appearance shouldn't matter.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 06:23 AM
I think physical appearance should matter, and matter even more. If i fashion line is going to use really thin models, then it should sell those clothes in really thin sizes. The converse also being true that they should use regular size models for regular size clothes and so on. If some company is going to sell a product they should use models that accuratly reflect the core market that they are trying to sell to. so toys for kids should have ragged adults in them, supermarket ads should include screaming children, and Disneyland should well, shouldnt be allowed to makes ads at all (serperate rant for another day).
And it is important for breeding i think, its the way that the animal/reptile brain figures out the difference between a tree and someone of the same species so that attempts to breed have a better chance of resulting in viable offspring.
And how else would we be able to tell right away that someone is say under 10 years old or over 100 years old?

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 08:56 PM
You guys have made a lot of really good points. I actually haven't ever seen Sex and the City, though cuz I don't have that particular channel at home. I must agree on the Sean Connery issue, as he did seriously grow more attractive with age. There is a side note that I had almost forgotten about, and that would be the whole scenario of females propositioning me. That's a whole other world that the boss isn't a part of *lol*. Having thrown that into the mix, I should never have worried in the first place.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West




 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/6/2003 at 10:53 PM
I dont mean to change the subject but come on, what's up with this Sean Connery thing? As bond his face grarled and he looked frankly like the balls of lint I pull out of the drain when I clean the tub! Not only was this hairy monstrosity disgusting THEN but he's aged 50 years IN THE SUN! Oi...

Someone explain the appeal to mee.

 

____________________


i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.




-ickgirl

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/6/2003 at 06:21 AM
I think a lot of the models in magazines are basically warped to look a tiny bit skinner *well, sometimes a lot* than they are. But that's me and I know how the tricks can be done...and they've even explained it on TV on how some of these magazines have the super thin models for that reason. *now visualizes super thin clothes for super thin women and a lot of girls trying to fit into them before blipping out of existance due to malnutrition and all that stuff*

IamSquid: I have no idea either. Such a mushed irony, eh? As for myself, not sure about his past years, but as current years, I found him attractive in more ways than one. But keep in mind that it's mostly his current movies I've seen, not his past movies. *though saw an old James Bond flick and did not EVEN recognize it was Sean Connery* *is young, she knows*


 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/6/2003 at 07:00 AM
Would Sofia Loren be a better symbol of sexy and 60 for you squid?

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 241
Registered: 16/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/6/2003 at 06:52 PM
Uhm, well I s'pose attraction includes the brain too, as soon as you're finished with the first glance... I recently had a short fling with a (at the time) very attractive boy 14 years my junior (I'm 33...), and it didn't take long before I just wanted to shoot the little dramaqueen. Sex was amazing, though - there seems to be some truth in what 'they' say about younger men and 'older' women

 

____________________
All stressed out and no one to choke...



 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/6/2003 at 07:26 AM
Beauty is not confined to the young. A woman should not feel that she has to be "maiden" to be beautiful. "Mother" and "crone" are just as beautiful. Crone especially, except when she is trying too hard to still look maiden.

And it is true - physical appearance should matter. And all supermodels should be forced to appear as they do in the bathroom, as they practice bulemia. Only then will their true beauty be revealed. Oh, and also as they appear in the doctor's office, as they are being treated for various health problems arising from their malnourishment. Only the truly genetically tiny would escape with beauty unscathed in that case. And they can stand along the other beautiful people of all sizes who do not do horrible, ugly things to themselves.

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 
 


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