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Author: Subject: getting to know him/her

Coward





Posts: 8
Registered: 25/11/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/1/2003 at 07:36 PM
being single makes you paranoid...when I usually approach a guy they seem flattered that i would take the time out of my day to talk to them. but when i approach a guy who has a girlfriend they almost seem... offended. what are they afraid of?!? i'm just saying hi. and so what if i want to get to know them when they have a girlfriend?!? i do not see the problem. i mean...do you see a problem?!?? haven't you ever wanted to get to know a guy, but he blew you off because he was in a relationship?!?!

what is with the guy (or the chic)? what happened in your situation? i think i need a different perspective on things here. it's not like i want to get into bed with him, i just want to get to know him....

 
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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/1/2003 at 03:09 PM
I think it may be because they fear that their partner will misinterpret it and get jealous.
So they act offendended in order to get you away as fast as possible and in the way that looks the best to their partner.

 

____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 23
Registered: 14/12/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/1/2003 at 04:49 PM
let's just put it this way: Guys will never understand girls and girls will never understand guys. it's humanly impossible. besides, just because one situation goes one way or one person acts a certain way, doesn't mean that every related situation or every individual is going to do the same thing every time.

 

____________________

 

Fanatic




Posts: 213
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/1/2003 at 06:14 PM
A. THe guy is extremely attracted to you, but feels incredibly guilty or is extremely loyal or doesn't have much experience with other relationships beyond the one he/she currently has that are platonic.

B. You just plain ugly.

Most of my life, I'm ugly enough to be considered non-offensive and wind up with a bunch of nice-looking girls as good friends. Thank god.

 

____________________
Make way for the bad guy!

 

Member




Posts: 127
Registered: 5/11/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/1/2003 at 07:39 PM
I'd have to go with Iron with this one for the most part. A lot of women (not all please dont kill me ladies !!!) get jealous very easily and seeing their significant other talking to somone else can upset them. Same goes for men too.
It took me forever to convince my finace that there was nothing going on with me and the rest of my female friends. Oh, and some guys are just assholes too so maybe thats it...

 

Member




Posts: 189
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/1/2003 at 08:53 PM
I dont really get jealous...seems silly to me that the guy cant just say hello and be polite, it doesnt mean he has to fuck you cause he talks to you. Thats just plain silly insecurity! When Im with a guy I dont expect him to not ever talk to other girls...cause I have lots of guy friends and I am damn sure gonna talk to them when I see them. Thats the cool thing about being punk, is most of the time at shows you cant even tell if someone is gf and bf. They go around and talk to everyone and have a good time then go home with each other, happy as can be! There are so many people that arent honest with each other anymore that its hard for people to trust is what I think alot of it is, but thats just my opinion. You have to lay out some kind of boundaries when you get with someone so you know what would hurt them and if you are able to go by what they want in a relationship. Ahhh who cares no one ever listens.
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 01:02 AM
If someone won't give you the time of day when you approach them with his/her significant other in tow, I think it's one of the following three most likely reasons.

(1)The significant other is standing there analysing each and every response the guy/girl has to your approaching him/her.

(2)The person being approached really is only interested in his/her significant other, and doesn't have the time or concern to give to anyone or anything other than his/her significant other.

(3)The person being approached is dying to jump your bones in the most alarming way possible, but is hindered by the horrid wretch at his/her side.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 01:08 AM
This is why I stick to gay bars where people know me. Half of them aren't interested and the other half know better

As for the whole "whats wrong with just saying hi". Absolutely nothing, in my book. My husband and I have an agreement: "If I can't have you nobody can". Simple. I had mostly guy friends my whole life, a few girlfriends. he's the opposite, almost all girl friends and few to no guy friends. When we got seriously involved, we both only kept in contact with our closest friends, as well, we became the best and only friends to each other that we needed.
I tend to be a little leary of girls, not just when they say hi, or want to be friends, but when they are a tad too interested or have that tell tale "crazy" look. I'm not a jealous person, I never have been. But far too many times old friends from the past run into him, or new girls he meets....and for some reason, maybe because they are already this way, maybe he attracts them(which doesn't say a hell of a lot in MY favor *snort*), or maybe he literally, by some chemical aura of some sort, drives them insane and they won't go away. EVER. He's a nice guy, doesn't wanna hurt feelings, and usually just manages to dodge them until they get so angry that they hate him or lose interest all together.

ALL of them know from the get go that he is married...this for some reason makes them all the more eager to "get to know him". THIS and ONLY this is what makes me a tad standoffish. Because, well, girls are ALL FUCKING CRAZY.

We've been through about every situation you can imagine with crazy girls who's intents seemed innocent enough to begin with. Hell, he's even started telling girls that are a tad too interested in him that I:
A) am a world class broken bottle barbitch style fighter with scars to prove it.
B) that I've been kickboxing since I was six.
C) beat the crap out of the last girl that hounded him, and have her hair stapled to my wall.

As for guys approaching ME...well..I kind of get a kick out of watching him stay in his seat and let me handle them myself *snicker* He's my backup only if they're stupid or they're drunk

Overall I don't have a problem with it. Most of the time, in situations unlike ours (we, for some reason, don't just have NORMAL people or NORMAL circumstances happen. It always, without fail, turns out like the friggin twilight zone), there shouldn't be an issue. If there is it's either because of insecurity on one or both parts of the relationship.

Hell, even with all the estrogen crackpots I've dealt with, I STILL give 'em the benifit of a doubt and a smile

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Member




Posts: 189
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 05:02 AM
Uh huh I have to agree with you Bettie, seems like alot of girls now just want a man to cause he is married and its some kind of challenge or something. I dont get this at all and see it happen alot. When I was married I had this one friend that always had this look in her eye that she could just eat my husband up. I didnt really think much about it, just laughed it off and kinda giggled cause I thought it was cute. First time I left him she was right over there trying to get in his pants. The thing is she lied to me about it and was trying to be sneaky. I was rather pissed and hurt, she was lucky that she was my friend. Why are some women like that, its so stupid. There are lots of men out there for them to find.
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 09:50 AM
I like the girls that come on to involved men so that they can tell the gf that he isnt 'faithful', that they were testing him for you so that you would know. I dont know when i have laughed harder. I happened once when i was a teen and this girl tried chatting (or is that catting) up the guy she THOUGHT i was there wtih. He and i werent dating, going steady, or having any kind of monogamous relationship, in fact we were good friends that sometimes pretended to be involved to scare people off.

She came and told me that he had kissed her and that she thought i should know. All i could think was "what so i could know that you want to try to hurt or scare the people you call friends?" I asked her if he was a good kisser.

I think its rather disrespectful to the man, treating him like an object to be won or stolen rather than a person with thier own thoughts.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 09:56 AM
as for the guy that starred in the opening of this topic, maybe you just scared him. Maybe he isnt used to being approached by females and thinks that females that do that kind of thing are bad hellspawn. or sexy. maybe he is just too young and scared to deal with the idea that someone might find him interesting as a person (lack of selfworth thingy). maybe he was having an off day. maybe he was preoccupied with homework, the state of the nation, or a hard-on between classes.
If you think he would be fun to know, try it again and see what happens. chances are that the worst that will happen is that his gf will try to beat you up in the bathroom or someone will call you a slut or something. and the best that will happen is that you will make friends with someone new.
bruises heal, and friends last alot longer. or something trite like that.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/1/2003 at 10:36 AM
I am extremely Jealous. If my guy is naked with another girl, I damn well better be there, too.
Maybe the guy was in a social situation in which he didn't feel completely comfortable, and he felt that you might have exaccerbated his discomfort. Maybe he indeed has a psycho girlfriend who locks him in the attic if she sees two X chromosomes that aren't hers any where near him. Or maybe he's gay. Who knows?

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 
 


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