Hello.... I'm a quiet shy hanger on-er person like thing that has been
reading shtuff here for a while.... and I've decided to step out of my
corner. At least for now. Please pardon my first post... I am sorry it is a
rant... but I'm going to rip my hair out soon if I don't at least TRY to
get someone, somewhere to respond to me. I want to see if I can fit in here
and find people to talk to that won't judge me based on my shy/occasional
anti-social moments.
I have recently broken up with (ok ok, been dumped by) my boyfriend of two
years and all of one friend has been willing to listen to me cry. My family
is starting the pressure of finding money for college. Christmas morning
they sat in a semi circle facing me, telling me to find money, before they
let me open gifts. Some of which was horrible maroon brown grandmother
cardigan type clothing for they seem to refuse to accept that I do not like
to wear colors. I am slightly stressed out and am looking for a place I can
be myself and enjoy it. I don't know if I have anything I can contribute to
this site, but I hope to try. =) If not... I will step back into my corner
and keep reading. Thank you.....
____________________ If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit.
Monolycus
Fanatic
Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 27/12/2002 at 05:40 PM
Just my two cents... if nobody is responding to you here, you are probably
doing everything all right. If responses are what you are after, say
something controversial or offensive. Talk about terrorism or ask about
what makes a goth. You will get more responses than you will know what to
do with.
Anyway, welcome aboard. Nice to meet.
~Monolycus.
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 27/12/2002 at 06:08 PM
Hey Darkness!
Sorry to hear about the boyfriend. That's always tough.
Families seldom understand darker tastes. My mom visited me today, and
asked me what I would do when spiders didn't shock people anymore! She
doesn't understand it isn't about shocking other people. Actually, I love
spiders and collect spider stuff because I tend to be surrounded by
spiders. They keep coming down from the ceiling and dangling at eye level,
or just coming to visit when I'm doing something interesting. And she says
"you just look like a pretty girl playing dress up" when I wear my favorite
clothes.
*sigh*
At least I'm all grown up and don't have to live with it every day.
Anyway, welcome to Shmeng! And I hope the college dilemma works out ok.
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 27/12/2002 at 09:40 PM
Yeah, if you want allot of people to talk to you being controversial is hte
way to go. However getting dumped and having a family also sucks. Although
being dumped is probably not as engrossing as shooting people, clubing
people, blowing people up, or being a goth, it is important to you.
Leave your family, get some fincial aid, don't look back.
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
DarkMistress
Member
Posts: 170 Registered: 6/6/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 27/12/2002 at 10:32 PM
-shrugs- Welcome aboard. I understand it all and can emphasize except I've
never been in the college situation, er not yet. You're parents will come
about sometime (as far as clothes go) but in the meantime..I agree with
everyone else, especially Domkitten. Get some financial aid and get away
from them.
____________________ "Pity no one was there
No angels in the air
And the morning paper ran
One more suicide"
MorteAscendo
Member
Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 29/12/2002 at 08:34 PM
Juxt remember to always be yourself. If you fake who you are, you will
find your self in a pickle when it comes time to grow up and remember who
you were.
Real friends and real family will and should respect who you are and what
you want to be. If not, fuck'em. But, if they are the source of income,
then kiss ass, tis the only time you should be fake. Being fake to your
parents isnt cheating, if you need something that bad, wear the damn
sweater for a day. Just dont forget who you are.
*wink*
-Mort
____________________ "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
Arthegarn
Member
Posts: 79 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 30/12/2002 at 04:04 AM
Hi,
First of all raise your head. Stop saying you are a quite lurker and asking
our forgiveness for posting. This is Shmeng, we are all here to blow steam
and see others do the same thing. But, most important, you just can't act
like that, like if you lived out of other's mercy or something. I insist,
do physically what I say, raise your head from the computer, take a deep
breath, and look around. And as soon as you are outdoors, rise your head,
take a deep breath, look around and say to yourself "I am , this is my
life, I am proud of it and nobody will take that away from me".
Paraphrasing Garak, OWN YOURSELF.
Now, feel better? I certanly hope so, it works for me
Boyfriend: Hold on. We've all been dumped one time or another by someone we
loved. We've all seen a relationship in which we had rested our hope
crumble and take part of us with it. We've all wondered if we are worth so
little that we deserve to be dumped. The answer is (usually) no. There is
one sad truth about ruptures: if a relationship fails, it never would have
worked. If you did all you could and gave all you were and still it didn't
work, then it's as simple as you weren't made to be together. Try to
forgive him for the pain he caused you. Don't think of the pain, focus on
the love you felt for him. If it was true it will still be there and will
help you get over it. Focus on the love and forget all that comes with love
but is not genuinely love: dependency, jealousy, physicall need... Just
feel the love and be proud you can feel it no matter what. It helps me
Money: There is only one answer to that. Sorry. Find it. There I can't
help.
Family: try to forgive them too. Remember a gift is not an obligation and
is supposed to reflect the personality of the person giving it while being
useful and nice to the person to whom it's given. Don't expect someone who
hates your goth aspect to encourage it by giving you black clothing. I'm 28
and I've NEVER been given a single black piece of clothing by my parents.
Not even when I graduated or won my first case. Hell, they even didný buy
my lawyer's robes!! Just remember that, wether they are good at showing it
or not, they love you (yep, sometimes love gets asfixiating)
And don't step back
Arthegarn
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 30/12/2002 at 06:45 AM
Oooooooooo! Lawyer's robes! I wanna see you in your lawyer's robes,
Arthegarn!
Do lawyers go commanddo udner ther robes like judges do?
I'd have gotten you one of those birttish wigs that make me laugh so very
mcuh.
Her's my buck fifty:
Self aspect: you are who you are. Kick ass at it or you'll get your ass
kicked.
Dumped: It happens. Ibet your young...it always sucks when you're young.
You'll be fine...it's just a guy/girl. More fish and shit....you know.
Get a net. A big one.
Money: simple. BECOME A PIRATE> THey ALWAYS have lots ' o booty. In
more ways than one *winkwink*
Relatives: Patience grasshoppah, patience. They love you, that's why they
fuck with you. I'm married and on my own and my dad STILL asks me if "I'm
planning on going in public like THAT". I not only get rare black items,
but horrid ones at that. My grandma is GREAT at pickin out clothes tho,
it's always rad when I get a box instead ofa check. ANd well gifts are
gifts....thats what they make gift reciepts and white elephant parties
for...to regift all the awful stuff you got last year.
You will be okay, I promise. I'd pinky swear you but I dont' wanna get
electrocuted when It ry to punch my fist through the monitor.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
AloneSoul
Fanatic
Posts: 522 Registered: 6/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 2/1/2003 at 04:51 AM
You don't have to really "fit in" here. There's no need for trying to do
that; just speak with a open mind is all I personally ask of.
The people before me have all made valid suggestions to your family woes, I
would only repeat what they've said.
Lead by example
Treat others with respect
Maintain open and honest two way conversations.
focus on the situation or behavior, not the person
Take it upon yourself to better the situation.
I got that stuff on a little card when I started a new job, and man has it
been a lifesaver!
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/1/2003 at 12:36 AM
i think the most useful advice i ever got from an office card was:
there is no i in team, but there are three i's in multiple personality
disorder.
see doesn't that make it easier to deal with every situation.
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/1/2003 at 04:20 AM
let's see...all these years later from that lovely little scene of my own
back then...what would I do...
*first when they say find money*...ask them to please hand over their
wallets and that there had better be some damned money in some of the cards
they've given you, and then you'd be happy to find the money there.
*say thank you for the sweater and it's lovely*...then package it up and
wrap it and give it back to one of them the next year and act like you have
no clue it's ever been seen before...denial is a great thing...really it
is...you should try it.
*remind yourself that the only reason a boyfriend would dump you is because
he realized he was not good enough for you*...after all that only makes
either you or him in denial...or that was really what happened...and then
it's not denial...but hey if it is denial...again...denial is good...if
anyone tells you otherwise...tell them they're in denial *wicked grin*
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
DrknessGathrs
Coward
Posts: 2 Registered: 22/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/1/2003 at 05:16 PM
lol. Thank you all. I needed to be macked and brought back into reality.
;-)
____________________ If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit.