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Author: Subject: Random Rant

Coward





Posts: 2
Registered: 22/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 04:10 PM
Hello.... I'm a quiet shy hanger on-er person like thing that has been reading shtuff here for a while.... and I've decided to step out of my corner. At least for now. Please pardon my first post... I am sorry it is a rant... but I'm going to rip my hair out soon if I don't at least TRY to get someone, somewhere to respond to me. I want to see if I can fit in here and find people to talk to that won't judge me based on my shy/occasional anti-social moments.
I have recently broken up with (ok ok, been dumped by) my boyfriend of two years and all of one friend has been willing to listen to me cry. My family is starting the pressure of finding money for college. Christmas morning they sat in a semi circle facing me, telling me to find money, before they let me open gifts. Some of which was horrible maroon brown grandmother cardigan type clothing for they seem to refuse to accept that I do not like to wear colors. I am slightly stressed out and am looking for a place I can be myself and enjoy it. I don't know if I have anything I can contribute to this site, but I hope to try. =) If not... I will step back into my corner and keep reading. Thank you.....

 

____________________
If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit.

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 05:40 PM
Just my two cents... if nobody is responding to you here, you are probably doing everything all right. If responses are what you are after, say something controversial or offensive. Talk about terrorism or ask about what makes a goth. You will get more responses than you will know what to do with.

Anyway, welcome aboard. Nice to meet.

~Monolycus.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 06:08 PM
Hey Darkness!

Sorry to hear about the boyfriend. That's always tough.

Families seldom understand darker tastes. My mom visited me today, and asked me what I would do when spiders didn't shock people anymore! She doesn't understand it isn't about shocking other people. Actually, I love spiders and collect spider stuff because I tend to be surrounded by spiders. They keep coming down from the ceiling and dangling at eye level, or just coming to visit when I'm doing something interesting. And she says "you just look like a pretty girl playing dress up" when I wear my favorite clothes.

*sigh*

At least I'm all grown up and don't have to live with it every day.

Anyway, welcome to Shmeng! And I hope the college dilemma works out ok.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 09:40 PM
Yeah, if you want allot of people to talk to you being controversial is hte way to go. However getting dumped and having a family also sucks. Although being dumped is probably not as engrossing as shooting people, clubing people, blowing people up, or being a goth, it is important to you.

Leave your family, get some fincial aid, don't look back.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Member




Posts: 170
Registered: 6/6/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 10:32 PM
-shrugs- Welcome aboard. I understand it all and can emphasize except I've never been in the college situation, er not yet. You're parents will come about sometime (as far as clothes go) but in the meantime..I agree with everyone else, especially Domkitten. Get some financial aid and get away from them.

 

____________________
"Pity no one was there
No angels in the air
And the morning paper ran
One more suicide"

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/12/2002 at 08:34 PM
Juxt remember to always be yourself. If you fake who you are, you will find your self in a pickle when it comes time to grow up and remember who you were.

Real friends and real family will and should respect who you are and what you want to be. If not, fuck'em. But, if they are the source of income, then kiss ass, tis the only time you should be fake. Being fake to your parents isnt cheating, if you need something that bad, wear the damn sweater for a day. Just dont forget who you are.

*wink*

-Mort

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 

Member




Posts: 79
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/12/2002 at 04:04 AM
Hi,

First of all raise your head. Stop saying you are a quite lurker and asking our forgiveness for posting. This is Shmeng, we are all here to blow steam and see others do the same thing. But, most important, you just can't act like that, like if you lived out of other's mercy or something. I insist, do physically what I say, raise your head from the computer, take a deep breath, and look around. And as soon as you are outdoors, rise your head, take a deep breath, look around and say to yourself "I am , this is my life, I am proud of it and nobody will take that away from me". Paraphrasing Garak, OWN YOURSELF.

Now, feel better? I certanly hope so, it works for me

Boyfriend: Hold on. We've all been dumped one time or another by someone we loved. We've all seen a relationship in which we had rested our hope crumble and take part of us with it. We've all wondered if we are worth so little that we deserve to be dumped. The answer is (usually) no. There is one sad truth about ruptures: if a relationship fails, it never would have worked. If you did all you could and gave all you were and still it didn't work, then it's as simple as you weren't made to be together. Try to forgive him for the pain he caused you. Don't think of the pain, focus on the love you felt for him. If it was true it will still be there and will help you get over it. Focus on the love and forget all that comes with love but is not genuinely love: dependency, jealousy, physicall need... Just feel the love and be proud you can feel it no matter what. It helps me

Money: There is only one answer to that. Sorry. Find it. There I can't help.

Family: try to forgive them too. Remember a gift is not an obligation and is supposed to reflect the personality of the person giving it while being useful and nice to the person to whom it's given. Don't expect someone who hates your goth aspect to encourage it by giving you black clothing. I'm 28 and I've NEVER been given a single black piece of clothing by my parents. Not even when I graduated or won my first case. Hell, they even didn buy my lawyer's robes!! Just remember that, wether they are good at showing it or not, they love you (yep, sometimes love gets asfixiating)

And don't step back

Arthegarn

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/12/2002 at 06:45 AM
Oooooooooo! Lawyer's robes! I wanna see you in your lawyer's robes, Arthegarn!
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/1/2003 at 12:46 AM
Do lawyers go commanddo udner ther robes like judges do?
I'd have gotten you one of those birttish wigs that make me laugh so very mcuh.

Her's my buck fifty:

Self aspect: you are who you are. Kick ass at it or you'll get your ass kicked.
Dumped: It happens. Ibet your young...it always sucks when you're young. You'll be fine...it's just a guy/girl. More fish and shit....you know. Get a net. A big one.
Money: simple. BECOME A PIRATE> THey ALWAYS have lots ' o booty. In more ways than one *winkwink*
Relatives: Patience grasshoppah, patience. They love you, that's why they fuck with you. I'm married and on my own and my dad STILL asks me if "I'm planning on going in public like THAT". I not only get rare black items, but horrid ones at that. My grandma is GREAT at pickin out clothes tho, it's always rad when I get a box instead ofa check. ANd well gifts are gifts....thats what they make gift reciepts and white elephant parties for...to regift all the awful stuff you got last year.

You will be okay, I promise. I'd pinky swear you but I dont' wanna get electrocuted when It ry to punch my fist through the monitor.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 522
Registered: 6/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/1/2003 at 04:51 AM
You don't have to really "fit in" here. There's no need for trying to do that; just speak with a open mind is all I personally ask of.

The people before me have all made valid suggestions to your family woes, I would only repeat what they've said.

 

____________________
but at least you know, just how much pain there is in living
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/1/2003 at 12:00 AM
Here's some guidelines for dealing with family:

Lead by example
Treat others with respect
Maintain open and honest two way conversations.
focus on the situation or behavior, not the person
Take it upon yourself to better the situation.

I got that stuff on a little card when I started a new job, and man has it been a lifesaver!

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/1/2003 at 12:36 AM
i think the most useful advice i ever got from an office card was:

there is no i in team, but there are three i's in multiple personality disorder.

see doesn't that make it easier to deal with every situation.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/1/2003 at 04:20 AM
let's see...all these years later from that lovely little scene of my own back then...what would I do...

*first when they say find money*...ask them to please hand over their wallets and that there had better be some damned money in some of the cards they've given you, and then you'd be happy to find the money there.

*say thank you for the sweater and it's lovely*...then package it up and wrap it and give it back to one of them the next year and act like you have no clue it's ever been seen before...denial is a great thing...really it is...you should try it.

*remind yourself that the only reason a boyfriend would dump you is because he realized he was not good enough for you*...after all that only makes either you or him in denial...or that was really what happened...and then it's not denial...but hey if it is denial...again...denial is good...if anyone tells you otherwise...tell them they're in denial *wicked grin*

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Coward




Posts: 2
Registered: 22/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/1/2003 at 05:16 PM
lol. Thank you all. I needed to be macked and brought back into reality. ;-)

 

____________________
If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit.

 
 


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