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Author: Subject: Top 13 Reasons...

Member





Posts: 68
Registered: 13/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/12/2002 at 05:43 PM
Top 13 Reasons
Goths Have Been Banned From Starfleet


13) They'd have to change their slogan too: To Boldly Mope, Where No One Has
Moped Before.
12) The Universal Translator can't decipher fake English accents.
11) They think a "cloaking device" is a polyester cape from K-Mart.
10) Even the Vulcans crack up when the captain calls, "Ensign Vlad the
Impaler to the bridge!"
09) Geordi keeps mistaking the clove cigarette smoke and strobe lights for a
warp core breech.
08) Alright! Who replicated the inflatable Trent Reznor doll?
07) Diana Troy's head would explode from all of the angst aboard the
Enterprise.
06) It's a solid week after their first mission and the Defiant still reeks
of patchouli.
05) Unable to tell the difference between the males and the females, Warf
accidentally mates with the lead singer to London After Midnight. The poor
boy's body is sent back to earth in three containers.
04) Stuck on a star ship crewed entirely by Goths, Spock receives the
accolade, "funniest guy on board."
03) For the last time, the Prime Directive is not: "Sit in a corner and
write bad poetry!"
02) No, a Klingon bird of Prey, is not a stuffed raven you wear on your
shoulder!
01) If they really wanted a bunch of whiny, irritating adolescents on board,
they could have just crossbred Wesley Crusher with Jake Sisco!

"...In Space... No One Can Hear You Sulk!"

 

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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2002 at 02:32 AM
Oh lordy girl, that was PRICELESS!
*LOL*

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2002 at 07:57 AM
Well done, Duckie. I laughed 'til I stopped.

~M.

 

Member




Posts: 189
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2002 at 08:00 AM
Duckie, You made my day....LMAO!!!
 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2002 at 08:46 AM
Hey now, don't you go talkin smack on my man <a href="http://www.wilwheaton.net/">Wil Wheaton</a>!!!

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Member




Posts: 68
Registered: 13/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/12/2002 at 04:29 PM
i got kicked outta the soapbox on wilwheaton.net because i'm not 18

 

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~ href="http://www.halspages.cjb.net"> src="http://www.jvlnet.com/~eulberg/quack.gif" border="0">~
color="cyan">QUACK!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/12/2002 at 09:08 PM
I don't know, I think a shipfull of goths would give the Borg a run for their money.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Member




Posts: 68
Registered: 13/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/12/2002 at 09:17 PM
if a ship of klingons aren't a match for them i doubt goths have a chance

 

____________________
~
href="http://www.halspages.cjb.net">
src="http://www.jvlnet.com/~eulberg/quack.gif" border="0">~
/>
color="cyan">QUACK!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/12/2002 at 09:27 PM
I the great words of some guy *LOL*

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

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Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/12/2002 at 05:24 AM
Alright, now think about this, the Borg would have to assimiliate the goths, and I really think that that much angst and ennui would just overload the Borg, you'd have a bunch of really depressed assimiliated sentients flying around the galaxies looking for other people to assimiliate, but you know, their heart really isn't in it anymore.... I really think the goths would be a match for the Borg.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

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Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/12/2002 at 07:19 AM
Plus, when attacking a starship, the borg are fighting guys in spandex jumpsuits that offer no protection. The goths would have an assortment of spikes, studs, chains, and whatnot to deflect phaser blasts.

Plus there is the off chance of a Rivethead Berserker being on the goth ship, and with their mighty boots, they would stomp several of the borg.

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/12/2002 at 10:09 AM
Borg - "you will be assimilated..."

Typical teenage mallrattish goth kid - "YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY PARENTS!!" *fries out borg with blasts of slipknot and punctuating screams of "YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND ME!!!"*

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/12/2002 at 01:47 PM
"I am Gothling of Borg. Resistance is futile. Then again, life is futile. I mean, you live... you die... and so what? There is no meaning. There is no point. You'll all be sorry when I'm gone! You'll see! I wonder if the mall is open."
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/12/2002 at 06:47 AM
Duckie, that was bitchin'...

Personally...I've always wanted to be sucked out an airlock...man that would be cool!

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Member




Posts: 79
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/12/2002 at 10:15 AM
Ehm. Goths would be lining up to be assimilated:

The Borg dress all in black, all day, for all ocassions
The Borg are just as cheerful as any goth would ever want to be
The Borg have the perfect skin shade
The Borg are completely androginous, either that or absolutely lavish
The Borg are always proving others they are Borger than hir
The Borg can dance just as much as the goth
The Borg love being different and drawing attention from others (Seen that ship?)
The Borg make very bad poetry (if you think that's no true, name a single good poem written by a Borg)
The Borg have as many piercings and metal on their bodies as their bodies can stand
And the top reason a Goth would want to be assimilated:
Being assimilated means you can always mourn your lost humanity and act as an Anne Rice vampire

 

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Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/12/2002 at 08:31 PM
I think, considering this argument, you might have to say that the Borg are the 23rd century space goths....Nothing more frightening then Goths in Space.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Member




Posts: 73
Registered: 5/6/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/6/2003 at 07:57 AM
Domkitten I do belive you should be awarded extra goth points for that one

 

____________________
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Posts: 499
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/6/2003 at 09:05 AM
Whats a borg?

 

____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/6/2003 at 10:37 AM
Hehehe...that was cute. I'm going to have to send this to my mom - she may get a kick out of it. (she's a Star Trek fan)
 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 40
Registered: 10/12/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 10/12/2003 at 05:33 AM
still wondering what was most funny. The initial rules, or the comments. Anyway.. still having problem seeing the screen after laughin til I cried =D
 
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