|
|
| Normal Rooms | | General | 4 users
AntiStaticCleaningWi, melinda_halliwell_tu, Mistress_SinisterLov, littlegothgirlthatco |
|
|
|
|
|
Currently no members online:)
You are an anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here |
We have 7 guests online !
|
|
|
 |
 |
Forums
You are not logged in | | |
|
|
|
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 4/9/2002 at 08:45 AM |
Alright, I was really inspired by Xaoswolf´s post of a choose your own
adventure thing, but since the Question Game kinda died off, I thought I´d
make a new discussion. You answer the previous person´s post, and then
write up three (or so) choices. Remember to include page numbers! 
--Transcript of existing adventure--
As you walk through the cave you hear the rattle of a deadly rattle snake
To tip-toe past the snake, turn to page 75
To beat the snake with your whacking stick, turn to page 18
To talk dirty to the snake, turn to page 102
Page 18: You decide to beat it with your stick. As you move towards the
snake, you realize that the snake is dead. Wondering what could have killed
the formidible snake, you stand in the grove for a while. Out of the corner
of your eye, you see little people gathering. They don´t look friendly.
To try to make friends with the little people, turn to page 21
To blow them up with your rocket launcher, turn to page 83
To talk dirty to them, turn to page 60
Oh yeah, don´t kill yourself, please? :roll: ____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!
|
| |
| |
Sticupus
Fanatic   Posts: 254 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 4/9/2002 at 11:08 AM |
Page 60: You decide to talk dirty to them, and you start reciting the
Marquis De Sade as well as your own vile sexual filth. This gets the little
people excited and they confess they are Christian plushies coming from a
star wars convention. Of course they are small because they are dressed in
ewok clothing minus the mask.
To join the little people in repenting for their sexual sins, turn to page
88.
To eat peyote and trip out with the plushie Christians turn to page 56.
To run out of the cave naked into the black forest of immortal doom turn to
page 73. ____________________
The OBOLISK is Divine.
|
| |
Anonymous
 Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 4/9/2002 at 10:09 PM |
Page 56: You secretly save the peyote buttons for later, and when the
little people are not paying attention you whack the beejezus out of them
with your snake-whacking stick. Cleaning your stick off on their robes,
you hear a sound in the black forest of immortal doom; a sound much like
the marching of a thousand crazed chipmunks.
To run into the forest to investigate shouting, "HELLO!?!?" turn to page
23.
To eat the peyote, turn to page 999.
To silently creep to the edge of the cave and hide like no true
ewok-killer, turn to page 54. ____________________
|
| |
MorteAscendo
Member   Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 5/9/2002 at 06:02 PM |
Page 999: You decide to eat the peyote, after the vomiting you have
insane hallucinations. You sit there and talked to God (or the snake
beating stick) for 13 hours. After you wake up from the 72 hour coma
you:
page 235: Throw on a cowboy outfit and run into the forest.
Page 342: Travel back in time and try and save a kingdom from the undead
(boom stick baby)
Page:143: Eat more Peyote. ____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
|
| |
Monolycus
Fanatic  Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 5/9/2002 at 07:11 PM |
Page 342: By chanting and swinging the snake beating stick, you
successfully tear open a small hole in the fabric of the space-time
continuum. You step through it and fall through the soft thatched roof of
a hut. The inhabitants of the hut do not speak the same language that you
do, but you are quickly able to gather that you did not appear at a time in
history where hordes of the undead are waiting around for someone to
vanquish them. As a matter of fact, the only things that seem to be going
on at this time are the building of thatch-covered huts and what you
recognise as a futile attempt to domesticate the cornish game hen. The
proto-people speak amongst themselves and seem to come to the conclusion
that you are not Tlolotoxlotloxtryx (the regional god of rain and falling
from the sky through holes in the space-time continuum) after all and
advance menacingly towards you with cornish hens-of-war in their hands.
To attempt to repel the proto-people by singing N´Sync covers at them, turn
to page 8.
To try to impersonate another local diety, turn to page 712.
To flee into the mist-covered Bog of No Return, turn to page 33. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
|
| |
Sticupus
Fanatic Posts: 254 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 5/9/2002 at 08:29 PM |
Page 8: Singing off key, you begin to chant the sounds of hell. The
proto-people stop in amazement at the first note you make. Suddenly they
hold their heads in severe pain and crouch to the ground as if a position
can relieve their immense suffering. Blood trickles out of their ears and
nostrils as you continue through the sweet teeny girl melting words. The
blood begins to gush out of the proto-people’s every pore and they collapse
and die, emptying their bowels in the process. You remove their heads with
their Cornish hens-of-war, and take them the main part of their village.
The village people desperate for their lives bow to you, destroy their
former iconic deities, and present you with 301 virgins. You are hand fed
sweet bay plums and honey from the virgin’s soft untouched hands, while the
villagers suicide in your honor.
Page 54: Enjoy the supple virgins.
Page 30: Wake up in a puddle of vomit and piss from a crazy peyote trip.
Page 21: Wake up, in your bed, on a nice sunny day, covered in maggots. ____________________
The OBOLISK is Divine.
|
| |
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/9/2002 at 12:27 PM |
Page 30: You wake up in a puddle of your own vomit, realizing that all 301
virgins were nothing more than a drug trip, and that you are currently
laying next to a furry monster. You do not try to remember what took place
between you and the furry thing, however, as you would probably regret it.
To vomit some more, turn to page 99
To try to find the damn Christan plushies so you can get more peyote, turn
to page 31
To investigate the furry animal, turn to page 28
Wow... that was -such- a typical Sticupus post. ____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!
|
| |
Sticupus
Fanatic Posts: 254 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 01:20 PM |
Page 28: You in a psychedelic stupor, rise to your feet to take a closer
look at the furry animal. Your blood shot eyes yield a blurry image, until
you realize it is the plushies: all collapsed atop of one another from a
exhausting hardcore fetish orgy. You pull the condoms out of you anus and
slip on some hot pants discarded by one of the sleeping plushies. You feel
not very hygienic at the moment, and you feel like vomiting some more at
the thought of your participation in bisexual contact with fetish thriving
Christian ’little people’. However, you still manage to gather up some left
over peyote and stumble towards the cave exit. You smell bad, you feel
dirty, you are dirty and you are wearing teal leather hot pants. Yes life
is hell, but peyote you have gathered makes up for it. You decide to save
it for later in your pocket when you really need it. Toward the black
forest of immortal doom you proceed.
To walk into the black forest of immortal doom out of curiosity turn to
page 30.
To smear yourself with feces and make a wig out of dry dead grass and call
yourself Fabio, proving the peyote has done irreversible damage to your
mind turn to page 166.
To hurriedly find a place in the forest to bathe and cleanse yourself of
the vile acts you have committed turn to page 227. ____________________
The OBOLISK is Divine.
|
| |
Shade
Fanatic  Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 01:34 PM |
Page 227
You stumble bleary-eyed and stinking across the field and into the woods
where you think you can hear the sound of a river. When you come out of th
woods into a forest clearing you see a waterfall and the prerequisite
swimming hole beneath. You rub your eyes, sure you are just too bleary eyed
to see the required naked blond bathing herself in the center of the river,
but to no avail. With a sigh you strip down and wash yourself. when you are
cleaner you rinse the teal hotpants in the river and spread them out to
dry. Just as you are drifting off for a nap you hear a gasp and look up to
see a beautiful brunette standing above you wearing a peasants dress and
looking very stereotypical.
To leap up and ravage her turn to page 69.
To cover yourself and enquire about her name turn to page 50,
To act apologize and slip back into the woods, turn to page 225. ____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me
|
| |
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 03:56 PM |
Page 69: You, like a stallion, pounce the unsuspecting peasant girl. The
carnal pleasures she is about to receive will be monumental. You tear past
her blouse, and another, and another followed by a petty coat, and a corset
and another blouse. (these puritan-esque women sure do wear a lot of
clothes). Suddenly you reach her pale pure skin, teaming with sweat and
pink with passion.
You look into her eyes. There is something peculiar about her gaze. She is
focused on nothing, still eyed like a doll.
Quickly her skin turns from white to purple. Her chest heaves, with her
eyes still with that death glazed look to them. Then her whole body
bisects, tentacles wrap around you, followed by a disgusting stench! They
search out your orifices, tunneling deep inside. They cover your eyes, all
you see is black, black......
When you awake, you struggle; kick and heave to get free! But nothing seems
to be restraining you anymore, it is effortless to shake off the matter
around you. When you crawl to the light outside, it burns your eyes. As
they adjust you see colors of red, yellow and orange. The trees have
changed. Is it autumn? It was summer just only a few moments ago...
You look back at the carcass, it is a dried mound, with the dehydrated
crusty head of the woman attached to one end. It appears to be a cocoon.
You look down to inspect your body. In the middle of your chest, you find a
growth with an eye ball.
To take the nearest rock and gouge out the eye ball while screaming like a
prepubescent girl go to page 259.
To name, nurture, love and cherish the lump in your chest go to page
337.
To go look for more peyote and lots ( I mean lots) of alcohol go to page
345.
____________________
|
| |
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 03:57 PM |
| I wrote that^ (no duh eh?). He he he he :-D ____________________
|
| |
Sticupus
Fanatic Posts: 254 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 03:59 PM |
| I mean... Grrrrrr..... :evil: ____________________
The OBOLISK is Divine.
|
| |
Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 05:14 PM |
| Gee. No. Really. The hell you say. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
|
| |
Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 10/9/2002 at 05:31 PM |
| Back off the personal attacks, little one. That is number three by my
count. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
|
| |
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic  Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 12/9/2002 at 06:47 AM |
You realize the eye growing out of your chest marks you as "The Chosen
One". Chosen for what, you have no bloody idea. Feeling particularly
inspired, you name the growth "Eye" and walk on. You are extremely hung
over, and so much freaky stuff has happened in the past few days that you
are continuously overstimulated. You want a nap. You need a nap. All hopes
for a nap go flying into thin air when you see the large army of giant
prairie dogs at the top of the hill.
To climb a tree and hope they don´t notice you, turn to page 60
To charge blindly into their midst in a desperate attempt to die foolishly
so you can finally get some rest, turn to page 302
To sigh and pick up your snake whacking stick and patiently wait for
something even weirder to happen to miraculously save you, turn to page 498 ____________________
|
| |
Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 12/9/2002 at 03:28 PM |
Page 498: Trusting your fate to higher powers and the solid comfort of your
trusty snake whacking stick (which you are only now noticing bears a
striking resemblance to a young Charles Nelson Reilly), you stand in the
full view of the prairie dog army. The prairie dog field marshal sees you
and rallies the troops. In no time at all, you are completely surrounded
by the militant rodents.
"Friend or foe?"
You blink. The prairie dog field marshal seems to be addressing you.
After a moment you respond. "Were those my only options?" You ask.
"At ease, men." The field marshal commands and the army of rodents lower
their pointed teeth and begin grazing at the turf. "Sorry to stand on the
formalities, mate, but in these times one can never be quite sure."
You agree, these seem to be very difficult times indeed if the beasts of
the field get to have their own militias. The field marshal cuts off your
observation.
"We haven´t always been prairie dogs, mate! We were changed into prairie
dogs by the evil sorcery of Queen Gwynhilde. You see, we used to guard
this valley and all its plushies until she came and assumed power by
trickery and prairie dog making spells." He notices the eye on your chest.
"That´s a handsome eye you have there, mate. Had it long? I only ask, you
see, because third eyes like that mark someone who is able to defeat the
evil Gwynhilde according to an ancient legend that I just made up." He
hands you a pair of Birkenstocks.
"These Birkenstocks are magic sandals that confer the power of invisibility
to their wearer. Accept them as a gift to aid you in restoring this land
to peace and order, mate."
To accept the magic Birkenstocks and seek to defeat the evil Queen
Gwynhilde, turn to page 344.
To join the prairie dog army and work your way up from the bottom to
eventually become the prairie dog quartermaster, turn to page 5.
To take the magic Birkenstocks and try to return them without a reciept in
exchange for store credit, turn to page 712. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
|
| |
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 17/9/2002 at 11:18 PM |
page 344
You take the birkenstocks, knowing that to refuse would mean your certain
death sometime in the future. You ask the prairie dog for directions to
Oueen Gwynhilde´s place, and he points you to a dirt road just beyond the
hill. "Is there any good way to defeat this evil queen?" you ask.
"Well, it´s said that the only weakness she has is a strange fascination
for currants. The only currants around here grow in a bog filled with
carnivorous plants that will surely kill anyone who ventures into their
midst. There is no known way to harvest these currants, and we don´t really
know why they´re her weakness... those are things you´ll have to figure
out. Good luck!" he smiles and waves cheerfully as you meander down the
road, still unsure of what you should do.
To find out what the birkenstocks actually do by putting them on, turn to
page 987
To follow the road in search of carnivorous currants, turn to page 673
To go into the inn you see up ahead, turn to page 367 ____________________
|
| |
Comedian
Fanatic  Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 18/9/2002 at 01:10 AM |
Page 367 -- The Inn of No Good Sleep
As you wander towards the inn you notice a series of spinal columns used as
warnings of treacherous beds ahead. Undetered, you proceed forward with
the bravery of a young person who could probably sleep on the floor without
blankets or a pillow of neccessity demanded it of you. The closer you come
the more you can her the cries of the damned, cursing sealy and their false
claims of "posturepedic" perfect futons.
You finally reach the inn and open the front door. Immediately your vision
is drawn to a small, glowing box in the corner. The words "Oprah Book Club
Recommendations" are embalzoned upon this luminescent cube, and you turn
and flee, terror permeating every pore of your body. The repulsing power
of Oprah to someone with half a brain is indeed powerful. It would be wise
not to confront the amazing prowess of this Oprah Demon again.
TO attempt to re-enter the inn, turn to page 368.
To attempt to farm currants of doom and possible misleading information,
turn to page 673.
To check your shoes for bark leeches and baby ticks, turn to page 987. ____________________
Make way for the bad guy!
|
| |
Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 18/9/2002 at 04:20 AM |
Page 368: Staring down the road contemplating your next move causes you to
realise that you need at least ten hours of uninterrupted sleep, food and
fluids to replenish your body after your peyote bender, some clue as to
what you are doing and a sense of inner peace... in no particular order.
Daytime Television demon or not, the inn is your best shot. Evil witch
queens, talking prairie dogs and man-eating vegetation will just have to
wait.
You think about how to get past the demon and then remember the magic
Birkenstocks. This seems to be your best chance to sneak in past the
loathsome thing, and you were kind of curious about what would happen if
you put them on anyway. You put on the Birkenstocks and the world seems to
shimmer around you. It takes you a moment to realise what has happened.
You are not invisible per se, but the Birkenstocks have made you become so
boring as to be practically unnoticeable.
(Unknown to you, hundreds of miles away, the two Shoewraiths stir. Once
mighty kings of footwear, Doctor Scholl and Doctor Martin, the power of the
One Pair has drained away their will and entrepreneurial spirit until they
became servants of the Dark Overlord whose name should not be uttered, but
we will call him Chuck Taylor anyway. They have spent the ages playing
state capital games in the cold mists of a strip mall while awaiting the
time when someone would try on the One Pair. They stop everything,
irresistably drawn to the dark magic of the Pair; they must find the Shoe
Bearer and bring him or her to the Dark Overlord whose evil hand forged the
Birkenstocks from the bowels of Mount Shoe. They hiss in the ancient
tongue:
One left Shoe to walk upon
One right Shoe to match him.
Some argyle socks might not look bad
But in the end we´ll catch him.)
You re-enter the inn and discover that you are now so boring that not even
the Oprah demon gives you a second glance. You have no difficulty raiding
the kitchen and then stealing a bed both for yourself and your snake
whacking stick. In the night you hear a shriek.
To get up to discover what the shriek is about, turn to page 114.
To call out to the shrieker to keep it down because you have to be at work
in the morning, turn to page 115.
To ignore it and plan to write a nasty letter to the management when you
are better rested, turn to page 116. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
|
| |
Abbadon
Fanatic  Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 19/9/2002 at 11:37 AM |
page 114: You step out of bed only to realise that you have shrunken to the
size of a gerbil´s testicle. You fall what seems like 3 kilometers out of
bed and luckily land in the cushiony softness of the complementary
slippers. Unfortunately having fallen 3 kilometers you have reached
terminal velocity and when you hit the slippers the friction causes the
slippers to ignite. You begin despirately to find your way out of the
burning slipper. Finally you find a piece of mould which appears to have
been growing in the slipper for some time, you can see it has weakened the
structural integrity of the shoe and so kick your way out through the side.
You now have the vast expanse of bedroom to cover to reach the door, and
hopefully help.
However at that moment a large cartoon cow appears above you and begins to
plummet earthwards. In your surprise at seeing a 2 dimensional image
existing within a limitlessly dimensional space you instinctvly pull out
you pocket notebook and begin working out the physics behind this
incredible supernatural phenomenon. Only at the last minute to realise the
potentially dangerous situation and dive to safety. The cow lands with a
might thump and begins mooing hysterically. From your evening classes you
have learnt cow and though this particular cow appears to be mooing in a
jersey dialec you manage to gleam that it has seriously injured, if not
broken its leg.
To pull out your scout first aid kit (which is clearly too small to be any
use whatsoever) go to page xii
To spontaniously combust go to page 62
To give in to your scatological cesires and journey to the cows anus and
take a good smell go to page 111 1/2 ____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
|
| |
|
|
|
