A friend of mine once said "My question is ´What is the answer?´"
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 07:13 AM
The (thu; before vowels, thi), a., def. art.
(insert lots of weird abbreviations here... all the way down to)
1. That (one) being spoken of or already mentioned; as thestory
ended.
2. That (one) which is present, close, nearby, etc. as distinguished from
all others, which are considered remote.
3. that (one) designated or identified as by a title; as, the
President
That is the abridged version of ´the´ found in the unabridged version of
Websters New Twentieth Century Dictionary, c. 1970ish.
Take that, Mara...
Boogers, cliffhangers, snot, whatever you want to call it... they do have a
smell. Everything has a smell... we just are incapable of detecting it. As
for boogers, we probably have become so used to smelling it (its in our
nose...) that we don´t anymore. Its the same case with BO. So perhaps Dolo
is right in that it smells like a kung fu ninja´s sink...
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? That depends on how much you pay
him.
If we gave Dolo a midget for christmas, it´d be like giving a mouse a
cookie... If you give a Dolo a midget, he´ll want a complete outfit for the
two of them. If you get a complete outfit for the two of them, they´ll want
matching lightsabers to go with it. If you get matching lightsabers to go
with it, one of the two of them will require emergency medical service to
replace the arm he lost. If you take them to the emergency room, they´ll
need a few shots of morphine. If you let them have a few shots of morphine,
they´ll want a few more. After about 70 hits of morphine (drug-user
dose...) they´ll be off to bed. If you let Dolo and his midget go to bed,
they´ll need a bucket by the bedside to puke in. And that´s the end of my
never-ending story...
Alugarde, however, has come up with something marvelously intelligent. I
-could- simply answer that the answer is what the question-asker seeks, but
that would be cheap. You have to go deeper....
Its a marvelously deep hole, and Alugarde´s given me something to ponder...
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
PrismKat
Occasional Poster
Posts: 18 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 11:35 AM
Impressive.. *applause*
*all bow before the mighty knowledge of Ironboots the Wise*
If it weren´t for the question mark, it could be entertaining for a while
trying to tell someone What is the answer...
____________________ I'm defective!
dead-cell
Fanatic
Posts: 344 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 11:53 AM
ok I got questions, 1) How come there are 8 hot-dogs in a package, and hot
dog buns come in 6 to a package? 2) What came frist Chicken or the Egg?
3) If life is stranger than fiction where are all the flying Monkeys? (from
Daria) 4) What exactly is "Non-Fiction?" 5) why is there only one word
for love? 6) Will ants rule the earth one day?
7) Is this really Hell we´re just not being told? :-?
____________________ co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 04:26 PM
The answer is C...and why didja´ have to bring up midgets...*shiver*
gah...
And yeah, sometimes this place is Hell, and I dunno´ about you...but I saw
the roadsign awhile back, "Welcome To Hell, 64 Billion served and Rising."
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
____________________ Alot of people have good stories that take place at a lake with friends and
boats and noodle salad just not anyone here
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 09:03 PM
There are 8 hot dogs in a package and 6 buns in the package so you will buy
6 packages of hotdogs and 8 packages of hot dog buns. Ants already rule the
world.
And if I´m not mistaken theres a city in Michigan by the name of Hell.
:eek:
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/7/2002 at 09:12 PM
My question is why do so many people here on shmeng put "http://" as their
homepage? :x
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 11/7/2002 at 01:02 PM
I think everyone has http:// for their homepage because its the default
entry... Devin thinks everyone has one (or should have one) or that people
will forget it, and thus make the links invalid.
The egg came before the chicken, because chickens weren´t around a hundred
thousand years ago, and egg-laying dinosaurs were.
Non-fiction is real-life events, such as an autobiography (although we all
know most of them are -highly- composed of fiction) or a historical
account. Also non-fiction are things like cookbooks and car books...
Love only has one word because people were too lazy to use the different
forms of it. The greeks had three different types of love: Eros (the
romantic kind) agape (general concern for well-being) philia (which is
friendship type love). Blame the Romans... *shrugs*
It is impossible to know whether ants will rule the world, because that is
in the future, and no one can accurately (100% correct, mister) predict the
future.
And, like the above, who the hell (pun not intended) knows where we are...
For all we know, religion has been lying to us all these years and heaven´s
really a dump and we´ve been living in it...
And hotdogs and hot dog buns come in different numbers, because that´s how
its always been. Long before somebody thought up combining the two, there
were frankfurters and buns. They were sold separately, and nobody combined
the two, anyway... But when hot dogs caught on, tradition still dictated
that there be 6 (a half dozen) rolls and 8 hot dogs...
Anyway, you don´t need to buy 8 packages of buns and 6 of hot dogs... you
only really need to buy four buns and three hot dog packages...
And about the flying monkeys (saved it for last)
There are no flying monkeys because this is the freakish -real- world... In
our strange world... our monkeys... DON´T HAVE WINGS! *gasp*
Which is why in the movies, they´re actually portraying what really -is-
when they show monkeys with wings, and honest politicians...
Anyway, yes... I like being a Mr. Know-it-all... At least all the reading I
do goes to some use...
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 9/3/2006 at 10:04 PM
quote:Superman ducks so that
you will think to yourself "why did Superman duck?" and thus you will be
thinking about the show and thus you will want to watch the show more.
My question is why is there a japanese music video of a bunch of scrawny
japanese men in diapers with artificial looking leaves over their crotches
singing a song with the key phrases being something to the effect of "happy
go lucky" and "hello"?
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 11/3/2006 at 10:41 AM
Man, I'd forgotten how much fun this place was when Dolo, 'Boots, Squid and
Mara were all bantering with each other. I miss you guys.
____________________
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 13/3/2006 at 05:06 AM
my bits of randomness:
overheard in line at a bank" So i ate the chipmunk, what else could i
do?"
overheard in a restaurant "Stan isnt a bad man, just evil as hell" ( i am
still really confused about this one)
and why is it called kitty litter when its clean in a bag and the cat box
when it is dirty? Why do we BUY kitty litter when, if you have a cat, you
are bound to get it for free?
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
W0rmW00d
Fanatic
Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 13/3/2006 at 05:12 AM
I enjoyed the last supper explanation, but I am afraid that I must put it
right.
There were chairs on both sides of the table, and people were sitting in
them. Thing is, once the blood of christ had been flowing for a while, and
people hadn't yet eaten enough of his body to absorb it all someone said,
'Itsh the end of an erara. Man, I love you guysh, sepshly you jesus, you
are my best friend. NO, I know you think its just cos I'm drunk but it is.
I mean you are. We need a picture of ush all together this last time.'
So they all shifte around so that nobody faced away from the painter.
Theres only one word for love because it is confusing enough with just the
one kind, imagine if there were lots :p
Superman ducks the gun so that it misses him. Obviously.
Seedless fruit is grown by using the chemical that causes the sugar
deposits around the seed to form. It is sprayed or otherwise administered
to the plant directly so that there is no fertilised egg for a seed to form
from. (that one is true, though incomplete.)
Hot dogs are metric, so base ten (from mainland europe, you see. Frankfurt
in Germany, frankfurters.), and they are hardly going to give you ten
sausages in a packet. They take out the two but charge the same amount.
Bread was invented in England which uses the imperial system so they make
them in half dozens.
What I want to know is why they don't give you six and a half buns. A dozen
is 12, but a bakers dozen is 13. Bread is made by a baker, so when they
give you half a dozen there should be 6.5. Bastards, trying to skank me of
half a roll.
Forgot to mention, nobody gets bored in heaven because they have
playstation.
Oh, and yes, if you stare at your hand for long enough you would be able to
watch it age, but you may not notice.
[Edited on 13/3/2006 by W0rmW00d]
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 13/3/2006 at 06:34 AM
Last time I counted, hot dogs came in tens and hot dog buns in eights.
____________________
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 14/3/2006 at 06:24 AM
Where the FUCK are my cigarettes?
AAARGH!
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 15/3/2006 at 06:42 PM
the midgets gave 'em to the monkeys. Again.
We all know about the guy in the red shirt being the one that always gets
shot right? lets call him steve for this one ok?
"Next time we go camping, lets take a Steve along. that way we will have
something to eat if we get trapped out there."
and
"Irish jigs have saved the planet"
I think my meds are messing with my ears, but golly its fun to mishear
things like that.
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
gothicmorman
Fanatic
Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 16/3/2006 at 05:48 PM
the REAL answer to the last supper one is that the people on that side were
TAKING the picture so of course it would look like there was nobody on that
side!
W0rmW00d
Fanatic
Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 24/3/2006 at 08:37 AM
How many people were needed to take a picture in those days?
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.