I´ve just been wondering...what is the STUPIDEST thing you´ve ever done
when drunk. EVERYONE that drinks has a story of having a little too much,
and I´m not talking just barfing all night long...I´m talking super sauced
trashed ANTICS...
I´ve got one (of course)....
It was shortly after my 21st birthday, and I had been thoroughly enjoying
my new freedoms in the land of the inebriated. Michael and I hand enjoyed
a night at trax (a local gay bar *WOO*! gay bars are the best!) and we
arrived home, and I, not wanting to wake up with that awful
boozebingecigarettethroatdeathstink, brushed my teeth in the bathroom
(getting toothpaste ALL over) when my drunken eye spied the bathtub. I
want a bath! I thought to myself, so started the water, staggered into the
bedroom to get my jammies, then hopped gleefully into a nice hot tub.
Left drunk and unattended in the bathroom, the gears in my head began to
turn....I´m gonna shave my LEGS! I do so, without incident miraculously,
and as I´m washing my face I realize I need to pluck my eyebrows, as they
were getting unruly. "I hate plucking my fucking eyebrows" I thought
angrily...then spied the previously used razor on the tub edge...and I had
a marvelous idea.
So I proceeded to shave my eyebrows OFF. Got soap in my eyes, all over my
face. Then I had a better idea...if I bend faceforward into the water and
blow bubbles, the bubbles will wash the soap off my face and out of my
eyes! I proceeded to flop faceforward into the water and blow
bubbles....great fun, kids, try this at home.
NEXT thing I know someone´s got me by the hair and is dragging me out of
the tub yelling "what the fuck are you DOING?! Are you okay?!!"
I was sort of irritated to find michael was the man who had my hair and had
dragged me SO indignified from the water. I opened one eye and said
"washing my face" "NO, " he said "You were drowning...you were under for
almost a minute! What the hell happened to your eyebrows?!"
I insisted I was washing my face with bubbles, and said I was SICK of
plucking so I shaved my stupid eyebrows OFF. He dried me dressed me and
put me to bed, saying I wasn´t allowed in the tub when I´m drunk anymore,
which made me sad. He still insists I was drowning.
AND when my eyebrows started growing back...UGH. Ever had razor stubble on
your forehead before? DON´T recommend it, kids.
That´s just one of the more eventful conclusions to a night at the bar for
me...believe me, there are others....
I wanna know your most ridiculous antics under the influence...c´mon...I
know you have SOMETHING you´ve not told anyone..YET.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
goathead
Member
Posts: 50 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:43 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
that´s friggin hilarious :-P
____________________ All your base are belong to ME!!!
Ianthe99
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:51 PM
Omg! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Lemme think.. I *know* I have to have one around here somewhere..*kicks
junk around in back of brain*.. There´s plenty of
oh-my-god-please-kill-me-I´m-so-sick ones. Hmm...I´ll get back to ya.
____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins!
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:59 PM
Well the worst thing I ever did(I didn´t actually do it mind you, it was
just blamed on me). My one freind was on leave from the Army, so we
decided to celebrate. It was this night that I discovered that 2-fingers
tequilla is a party and a half going down, but sucks comming up. Anyways,
I woke up around 3 A.M. and realised I had to puke, so I stumbeled to the
bathroom and proceeded to do my business when Rob comes in. He asks how
I´m doing, then curls up on the floor in front of the door, I promptly go
to sleep on the side of the toilet. Later , at 4 A.M., Sumo´s(the guy
who´s house we were at) mom had to get ready for work, and unfortunately we
were blocking the bathroom door. I awoke that morning to the sound of Sumo
hitting Rob to get him to wake up and move away from the door so his mom
can get ready. When we finally got him up, I walked into Sumo´s room and
saw the large greenish puddle. Nobody was in the mood to clean at that
point in time, so we just kind of curled up into the corners of the room
and went back to sleep. In the morning they blamed it on me, and I had to
clean it up. We later discovered that it was Rob´s mess, he just wouldn´t
own up to it.
The only other stupid drunk thing I can remember doing is dancing at clubs.
If you ever see me at a club, and I´m dancing, chances are, I´m drunk
also.
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 03:18 PM
I don´t have any REALLY bad ones, but on my birthday I got pretty drunk and
flashed someone... yeah, that was pretty interesting the next day(we go to
school together)
____________________
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 04:56 PM
Got one... or two.... hell, every time I get drunk, I do something
stupid... anyway...
This one time, I was at a party (birthday party for one of the skate punks,
at the house of a girl I worked with) and got terribly drunk early on... I
was supposed to be spending the night there, so I had a bag with extra
clothes and stuff... well, along came my ex boyfriend, with a bunch of his
friends... they checked out the scene for a little while, then kidnapped
me, bag and all... we went to a friend´s house where there was another
party, and I proceeded to get even more wasted. At one point, one of the
boys said he wanted his nipple pierced, and I volunteered for the job (why
I have no idea, needles creep me out terribly, normally) anyway, I
apparantly did a decent job of it, because I spent a good part of the night
sticking needles in people after that... ( I know this was a bad idea, and
something I wouldn´t even think about doing now, but we were all drunk and
being stupid that night) After a while, an old friend, Roy showed up, and I
was on the porch when he did, and was so happy to see him, I ran and jumped
on him and kissed him... I didn´t see his girlfriend, Nora standing behind
him at the time... needless to say she was not pleased... The party went
on, though until the wee hours of the morning, during which time, I ended
up in bed with my ex-boyfriend, which I felt bad about because I was
friends with the girl he was dating at the time, and I damn sure didn´t
want him back... I woke up the next morning, had a fight with him about his
seduction of me while I was obviously at a disadvantage, and got a ride
home... then my other friend ( the girl who´d had the first party) called
and said I was lucky I left when I did, because the redneck
next-door-neighbor had gotten his gun out and started shooting, and the
cops had been called, and it was a huge mess..nobody was hurt, but it´s
still something I was glad to miss, especially since I wasn´t legal to
drink at the time... anyway, I think that´s the worst I ever behaved while
drunk... I don´t think I ever got that drunk again after that...
____________________
necromancer
Occasional Poster
Posts: 48 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/5/2002 at 10:40 PM
ONE of the stupidest drunk things I´ve done:
getting drunk and naked with my gf on a public beach then photographed by
tourists.
:-D
well, there is one more that *I* was not the maniac culprit of the
insanity...
Shortly before my best friend got pregnant, we went to the bar for a girls
night out of sorts...anyway, we both got pretty shitty, but I quit drinking
early to sober up to drive home. We were walking around the corner to my
car and past this dark alley, right? Of course...anyway there is this
BIIIIG "DO NO ENTER" sign at the entrance on a post in the middle of some
of those juniper bushes. Being a scorpio under the influence, she
eyeballed the sign, sneered, and said "Do not enter?! Fuck I hate being
told what to do...Fuck the man, always telling me not to enter." Then she
TOOK OFF down the alley with her arms flung wide yelling "i´m entering I´m
entering what you gonna do about it! Fuck you and your do not enter
signs!"
I was chasing her, PLEADING with my luck for a cop to not come by, caught
up and led her back to the alley entrance..."I´m very sorry, I HATE being
told what not to do" Then eyeballed the sign again and LEAPED into the
bushes and tromped around going "oh fuck I´m in the bushes" and lost a
sandal, which I had to retrieve for her, which was a bad idea...I should
have kept it because once it was back on her foot she took off like a SHOT
again down the alley laughing maniacally. FINALLY I got her back into my
car..>FINALLY....she told me never to tell anyone, but hey, she´s anonymous
here*grin*...mostly because she is SO unlike that in real life...would
NEVER do that and I could barely believe my eyes and ears what she was
doing! I bought her a chicken sandwich at jack in the box, and took her to
my apartment and she passed out halfway through eating it. I put it away,
pushed her over on the couch and covered her, and she stayed passed out
till 12 the next day (left her there by herself to go to a meeting*snicker*
she never even knew) with a monster hangover...
That was probably one of the best nights of my life...we met an angry
straight hater butch lesbian named tequila (to whom we lied and said we
were together for mere protection) and I bitched out three pushy lesbian
bitches and made them kiss our asses the whole night...got free drinks all
over the place, I danced with a big flamboyantly G A Y friend of mine named
raphael to a destiny´s child song (yes, I was that drunk, and even had a
few big ass lesbians try to get up on it and man THAT´S FUN..especially
when EVERYONE´S loaded), fixed a toilet and puked my guts out.
Then drove home
Then michael and I did it with the door open and poor friend passed out on
the couch in the living room, and fell asleep, and went to a meeting on 3
hrs of sleep looking like death warmed over and a big smile about the night
before DYING that I couldn´t tell anyone on penalty of scorpio vengence.
Now she has a baby and her partying days are indefinately suspended BUt she´s a good
mommy, and I can find more boozing buddies
NOT to mention the time I vaguely remember coming to in the middle of "love
shack" on karaoke night with my friend jamie..and then blank again until
the middle of "bohemian rhapsody"....
Dangerous when drunk...
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 4/5/2002 at 07:01 AM
I´ve never gotten drunk but the last punk party I went to, there was this
short girl who was really drunk... She had a friend, but nobody at the
party knew them... She just staggered around, occassionally wrestled with
her friend down the hallway, then wrapped her arms around me and stuck
there.... "I´m Sammy" (name changed to protect the drunk, of course) she
said. I said nice to meet you, I´m Patrick... Then she wandered off...
Later I was sitting with a friend talking when she just sits down on my lap
and holds me. I hold her, feeling kinda sorry for her. She introduces me to
her friend "Sammy" and that her name is Anne... Anyway, we go to my friends
bedroom (shush! you perverts!) and she asks me to dial her mother´s phone
number, since she can´t seem to do it... She and her friend marvel that I´m
wearing a skirt, which is ´so cool´.
Later she goes home... Never saw her again...
Strange, but she´s so cute...
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
Ianthe99
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 4/5/2002 at 03:08 PM
Hey Meranda... Was the guy who wanted his nipple pierced Mike?
____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins!
DarkTigress
Member
Posts: 104 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 4/5/2002 at 04:57 PM
:cry: *cries* Waahhh wahhh, I ha-ha-haaavee no drrr-uunk sssstories to
tell... wahhh *runs away and becomes a drunken, drugged down hoe, just so I
have stories to tell... since I´m a proffesional over-do´er*
I must admit you guys have some funny stories to tell though... I guess
I´ll get some eventually... um... if that´s a good or a bad thing...?
Hrm... *lol*
____________________ ~The World Can Continue It's Excistence Without Mankind... But What Happens
To The Mankind When The Earth Is Gone?~
well it´s not a good thing if you want to keep your eyebrows the way they
are, judging from some of my past experiences
It´s part of being an "adult" *scoff* (´legally´ of course) and of NOT in
some people´s cases. It´s part of being and "adult" and not acting like
it, more often than not. It´s part of being a teenager and hating it and
doing stupid things. I´m just glad nobody had a "I got drunk and went for
a drive and killed a busload of nuns" story. There´s nothing wrong with a
little boozing once every so often, not to the point of alchoholism, and
having stupid harmless fun. It´s a part of life, some people choose to opt
out of the inebriated part and for lots of good reasons. It´s all about
choices, that are good for you and your preferences. I´m sort of GLAD that
you don´t have any stupid drunk stories, to be truthful
Man, this is starting to sound like a "you don´t have to drink to have fun"
commercial....
C´mon, more drunken idiot encounters...
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
DarkTigress
Member
Posts: 104 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 4/5/2002 at 06:44 PM
*applauds Battie* *lol* Isn´t being "adult" doing things you enjoy and
still act adult? Maybe that´s what you meant? *bimbo blinks* I think I´ll
hold my alcoholic spree until I see some more examples of what might be
ahead of me then *grins slightly*
So c´mon, more stories... :grin:
____________________ ~The World Can Continue It's Excistence Without Mankind... But What
Happens
To The Mankind When The Earth Is Gone?~
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/5/2002 at 01:54 AM
Oh sweet jesus, I was waiting for a forum like this to pop up...where´s my
lil´ dairy? -to be continued-
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
goathead
Member
Posts: 50 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/5/2002 at 06:26 AM
i don´t have any drunk stories either..
*mutters something inaudible under his breath*
:roll: :roll: :roll:
____________________ All your base are belong to ME!!!
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/5/2002 at 07:27 AM
Don´t worry, I don´t have any stories to tell either.
I usually get drunk alone, or with one friend. I don´t like to drink much
in public. Maybe I´m just chicken!
I tend to reserve the stupid things I do for when I´m sober! :roll:
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/5/2002 at 08:49 AM
Alright...here we go. First day in Okinawa I went out with a couple of
buddies and proceeded to drink myself stupid with something called Habu
Sake, which is a nasty little drink that has a dead snake in the bottle
(Bad Omen). After about three hours straight we decided to go to the beach
(Bad idea) however, I don´t even get to leave the bar before I run head
long into a small potted palm tree, knock myself on my ass and recieve a
nifty bleeding head wound (To this day I still hear jokes about getting my
ass kicked by a tree)...I try and kick it over, but only end up losing my
shoe...the bar was on the second story of a building, and we happened to be
on a veranda.
My shoe...which is a steel-toed safety boot, manages to collide with some
poor japanese kids head. We run...well, THEY run, I have only one shoe.
After a couple hours of blackness, I finally catch up to them at the
beach, and HEY guess what, they went and bought fireworks. Being the genius
I am, we start snapping back some basic beers and blowing shit up. Rocks,
crabs, Steven you know...just anything we can. Cops show up. And I decide
to get REALLY stupid and use a smoke bomb to confuse ´em and escape. (Hey
it works for the ninjas right?) well...all the smoke bomb did was conceal
the fact that I had still, only one shoe.
Fast forward to the next morning, standing in front of the Captain as he
chews my ass out for the first time on this base...when asked if I have
anything to say for myself, I promptly throw up on his shoes.
I can´t remember most of the things I´ve done, but I´ve heard stories. At
least twice I´ve tried to bring about Revelations, worn women´s clothing,
tried to drive when I can´t...at all. Climbed up a tree and couldn´t get
back down. Got in fights with bugs, dogs, more trees and in one dismal
encounter...a large unstable rock that had the higher ground. Skipper knows
my mother on a first name basis, as he called her the second time I was
found passed out on his front lawn.
On one disturbing occasion, after an unusually violent bout of nausea, my
friends and I found an earring in my vomit. Wheee.
As far as Okinawa goes, my drunken rampages are pretty well known...never
dangerous, but usually bizarre. Now if only I could remember the REALLY
good ones...oh well.
And I´m such a boring person sober >sigh<
Lucky I´m not sober too much then yah? :lol:
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
Ianthe99
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/5/2002 at 01:50 PM
Let me see if I can remember this right.. (well.. at least what I was
told.)
One night, I was at a friend´s house, 2 hours drive time away from home.
My boyfriend and I had a LARp game we had to be at the next day.. but the
friends we were visiting had just moved back from Colorado to Ohio and we
hadnt seen them for .. mmm...2 years. Out came the tequila. Well, I started
doing shots with one friend.. then with anyone who would do it.. then
alone.. then skipped the shotglass and started drinking from the bottle. I
have been told that I drank 17 actual shots that night. I remember *most*
of the night.. being ignored by the boyfriend, (as usual) hanging out and
chatting about faeries, sitting on the porch swing, winding up *under* the
porch swing and thinking that it was fun..that´s the last memory I have.
Sources say that someone else I know came i and I proptly tried to kiss
him.. all along calling him "Fairy Davidson".A time came when my boyfriend
decided it was time to go, ´cause we had to be up early the next day for
the game. I wasn´t at all happy with the decision and started fighting.He
started to psysically try to dragg me out to the car, I was punching and
hair-pulling. At one point, my now-husband saw him draw back to punch me..
he stopped the boyfriend.. and with everyone´s help, they loaded my drunk
ass into the backseat for the two hour ride home.
I woke up the next morning, alone, in the backseat. It was August.. that
God my sense of smell hadn´t kicked in yet. I had gotten sick in my back
floorboard.. and all over myself. I walk into the bedroom where asshole-boy
is sleeping and ask what hapened? He´s all pissed at me and talls me that I
need to got take a shower. We wound up driving in that car..puke and all..
to the game, me trying to hold on to my stomach and cursing extence. We got
there.. and the game was cancelled.. Ha-Ha!
What fun ´eh?
____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins!
this is the best one I´ve heard...and I have sources to back this up...
My ex boss and I were trading drunken idiot stories, and she told me the
BEST one I"ve heard to date...even dolo´s epic booze binge antics dont´
beat this.
SHe was with her ex boyfriend who was in the military in so.
california...so they took a train to the border and walked to mexico.
WEll, as you know, when you walk across the border right into tiajauna
there are nothing but BARS in every direction...and little men outside
handing out coupons for buy one get three free margarita specials. SO they
gathered several...and made their way up the strip. Now if you order one,
and only WANT one, they give you four. SO what do you do with three
unwanted strawberry margaritas? Hell, you DRINK them...and she did. All
the way down the strip. Finally he left her face down on a picnic table in
the pavilion to go look at leather biker stuff for about two hours, in
which time she did not move and inch. Then he got her up and they
proceeded to walk to the border. SHe does not remember this. The next
thing she knows she´s seeing this man in a funny hat at the end of this
loooon purple fuzzy tunnel shouting all fuzzy like "MA´AM STATE YOUR
RESIDENCY!" She turns her head and now her boyfriend´s face is at the end
of the purple tunnel "JULIE...STATE YOUR FUCKING RESIDENCY!" She turns
back to the border patrol and he shouts again "STATE YOUR RESIDENCY,
MA´AM!" and she scrunches up and says in a manner only a virgo can here´s
how it goes
Julie: "I´m a resident of the planet EARTH!"
Border patrol :"ma´am, step this way"
~the proceed to check all her I.D. and grill her boyfriend!
Julie: "OH, so THIS is how you treat residents of EARTH, is it, man you
WAIT till I get back there and they´ll show YOU"
Finally they let her across...and you guys know that mc donalds at the
border that got all shot up by a psycho and they tore it down and built a
new one and put a memorial up where the old one was?
Well she made a BEELINE to the new one, straight through the door (her
boyfriend got in line for food) and straight into the bathroom, cut in
front of four women in line into an empty stall, stood there,and "FWAAHHH"
strawberry margaritas ala linda blair. I´m talking dripping down the
stall. ALL OVER HERSELF. Her boyfriend hears of a gross girl in the
bathroom that cut and puked all over....they make a run for it. SHe rides
a train all the way back to base...the toilet paper she tried to clean
herself up with had dried with the tequila barf to turn her shirt into
paper mache...she smells. She had to shower in a community bathroom.
She advises against the coupons in tiujuana.
As she told me this I about pissed myself....
I don´t think anything will ever beat that, or serve a better example for
children or teenagers headed for mexico
oh man, I´ll never forget that...and I´m never going to tiajuana...
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 04:36 AM
Yep... While most of the nation has Miami to go for graduation parties or
spring break, nearly everyone here heads to TJ´s: the land of the free.
If you´re underage, you have the freedom to drink.
If you´re underage, you have the freedom to hire a hooker with seven
stds
If you´re underage, you have the freedom to smoke substances not recognized
yet by the FDA.
My friends are going to drag me there (or so they say) come graduation...
I´m not sure... I´m not one for self-abuse... :roll: