callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 07:45 AM |
"Do you need a mirror"
"no thanks, but some pliers would really help"
"its like trying to massage a snake, only bluer."
"are you hungry"
no, I'm from istanbul."
Malls can be FUN. ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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whitedove
Occasional Poster Posts: 41 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 08:34 AM |
Those are awesome - I've also heard some pretty weird things, in various
places, however I cannot for the life of me think of any of them right now. ____________________ When nothing is left - what are you standing on? - Drake of LS
あなたの私の夢
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daria_4
Member Posts: 96 Registered: 29/7/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 10:04 AM |
It's not mine, but my favorite such line is from Lewis Black:
"If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how people get aneurisms. ____________________ "I've told you before, I don't comprehend religion, although
conviction is a concept I'm beginning to get. In any case, a person
with a real religious conviction is, I propose, a religious convict,
and deserves locking up." |
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 10:51 AM |
heh. Rogue and I had just watched that Lewis Black show when we overheard
something weird.
We were in bed, it was a hot night and the window was open. We overheard
our neighbor yelling at her kids. "Sammy, put your pants on! And where's
your sister?"
We cracked up and started saying the "If it weren't for my horse..."
routine.
It was funny.
____________________
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Rogue
Member Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 06:04 PM |
Sammy was a boy, maybe nine, and his sister was maybe eleven... ____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time. |
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whitedove
Occasional Poster Posts: 41 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/12/2007 at 06:51 PM |
I guess some of the weird things I hear aren't weird persay, they just
don't fit the situations. For instance, I work at a Renaissance Festival
during the fall and I have heard a middle aged man say to a young woman,
"Here, hold your skirt up, I need both hands."
He was helping pin the underskirt up, but the dialog didn't could clearly
be taken wrong. ____________________ When nothing is left - what are you standing on? - Drake of LS
あなたの私の夢
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/12/2007 at 06:30 AM |
"So... trap?" ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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dead-cell
Fanatic Posts: 344 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/12/2007 at 03:28 PM |
Weird things I've heard?... Well as of late not much, but I have heard some
idotic things.
From my mom:
"J- Hole!" and "F- Y!" I assume that from her they are suppose to be
expletives.
Resently from my brother responding to seeing Mormans recruting:
"Hey, lets all dress in black like Atheist and go door to door to covince
people there's no god." I could not tell if he was trying to be funny,
stereotyping, or both.
At starbucks:
"Whats the difference between the Passion Fruit Tea and The Passion Fruit
Tea Lemonade?" to which my response was ".......The lemonade, Sir."
Also you might want to read my current sig. ____________________ co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me) |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/12/2007 at 07:02 AM |
"You ever use a bidet?"
"No, but I stuck a shower up my butt before, I figure it's like the same
thing." ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/12/2007 at 03:06 PM |
"Ni hangmun ee nae keo boda kuda." ("Your anus is bigger than mine.")
"Dwejeo." ("Just die.") ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/12/2007 at 02:48 PM |
It's not gay if yor wearing a mask. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2007 at 06:33 AM |
I have man sexed once, but no. ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 2/1/2008 at 11:30 AM |
"Georgia, I said to stop eating the cat litter!" ____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/1/2008 at 01:13 AM |
"someone just bonzi-ed that logic tree" ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/1/2008 at 12:04 AM |
Me from other room: "Jay. Your being a bitch again. Is it your time of
month?"
Jay: "I'm having my man period."
Dashiell next to him mumbles, "No dude. Your mangina."
Jay whispers, "Oh yeah." Then yells out to me, "My mangina hurts."
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold |
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EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/1/2008 at 12:05 AM |
Me: "I don't give a damn. And I'm fresh out of give a shit too."
I've been using variations on this for the past few weeks on my bad days. ____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold |
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/1/2008 at 07:17 AM |
*Entering the pet store, overhearing a little boy talking to his dad...*
"I really like the weiner, too!"
He said it with SO much enthusiasm.... I immediately started giggling and
could not stop the whole time I was shopping.
I assume he was talking about a dachshund. At least I hope so. ____________________
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littlegothgirlthatcould
Member Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/2/2008 at 12:39 PM |
hmmm. Well my ex used to tell me "ish vil Cof" means give me head in
german
only i got to find out that the dumbass is walking around saying " I give
Head" or "I give Lettuce" depending on how you look at it. ____________________ [[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown up and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]] |
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