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Author: Subject: and THIS is why I hate the publishing Industry

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 04:03 PM
This is my query letter...
______________________________
After reading the list of genres you have represented, I am impressed by the wide array of them, and the broad rage of topics. I recently completed my first novel and believe I am ready for representation. Your esoteric collection of published books appeals to me a great deal.

My 79,000 word novel “Memoirs of an Unremarkable Man” is a first person narrative of the history of the universe from the standpoint of a deity. It starts with the creation of the universe and moves through the deity's exploration of self and the nature of creation; and on through his life and into modern times; ending during the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina.

Oce the universe and man are created, things go wrong. The nature of the universe is such that the presence of light necessitates the existence of darkness. This darkness results in a corruption of the whole of creation, manifesting in different ways depending on culture, location and beliefs. The divine is plagued by a driving need to fix this rend in the fabric of reality. Eventually, the divine comes face to face with the root of the corruption, Lucifer. Lucifer and he become fast friends and work through the rest of eternity as companions. With Lucifer's insight, the divine has hope for creation.

Would you like to see a few sample chapters or a manuscript? I am new to writing novels, but; I have been telling stories via role-playing games for well over 20 years. While the tradition of role-playing is an oral one, rather than a written one, the mechanics of a good story transcend genre. I feel that I am ready for representation as I have finished one novel and have started drafting another.

Thank you for your consideration and time.
____________________________________


The Following is the response...

_____________________________________

this sounds like it had the potential to be interesting, despite the myriad other books with similar premises, but unfortunately, it seems to quickly lose its irony when it gets into all that divine and deity and lucifer nonsense. religion doesn't equal literature. in fact, it's the opposite of literature. and when it tries to pass itself off as literature, it is invariably the worst kind of literature. role-playing games are not literature.

with that said, i think spending a few years revising (and by revising i don't mean running spell check) might turn this into a work a professional might want to consider, so you need not give up on it entirely. (you may decide you want to later, which is perfectly acceptable, too.) you defintiely need to set it aside and stop querying (and from the looks of it, i'm not the only agent to receive your form-letter q) at once. as it stands, i'm guessing it's far from being ready to be shopped around to agents, much less editors. you don't want to embarrass yourself any more than you have to.

you may want to dismiss my response, but your "first novel" and "new to writing novels" status doesn't do much to argue against such an assessment. this isn't ready. you're not ready. you need to start over. and this time more humbly. i suggest starting with reading books--serious ones--and maybe taking some of your early drafts to a local writing group or junior college workshop. maybe by the second or third manuscript, we can chat again?

best,
-------------------------------------------

What an arrogant piece of shit... he's not even seen a sample chapter

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 05:29 PM
So this is a publisher and he doesn't know how to use capital letters and punctuation? And he thinks you have problems?

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 05:32 PM
he's an agent...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 05:48 PM
fucker... he needs to start over... and more humbly, too... *mutters incoherently...*
 

Member




Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 05:59 PM
Hi dood,

yer buk was hard 2 reed and i spilt my MGD wen I saw teh funnay part. plz try 2 rite mor, and to warn me b4 u say anythng funnay like poopy or saskatchewan. kthxbye.

-bigtime publisher guy and stuff, heywood jablowme

 

____________________
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 20
Registered: 2/3/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:04 PM
What an ass

 

____________________

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 21
Registered: 13/6/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:11 PM
Yes, but then again anyone who has been here for more than a few nanoseconds knows to expect that sort of thing from our venerable Rogue.
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:24 PM
What Feral hasn't told you is... soon after posting this rant... he recieved his first positive reply asking for his first two chapters...

Now I want everyone to just pour themselves into wishing goodwill on this for Feral... let's rally as friends around him... selling a book is a very painful process... it is easy to feel very wounded by rejections... and the closer you get to acceptance, the sharper the blow is when you get turned down...

Best of luck, Feral... I believe in you and your book... *hugs*

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:25 PM
WHAT? rogue was making a supporting statement... what are we supposed to expect from a respected member of this community?

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Member




Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:27 PM
Respected? You must have the wrong guy. ;-) Seriously, loads of positive energies coming your way, and put me down for a few dozen copies on preorder on Amazon.

 

____________________
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 20
Registered: 2/3/2006
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:33 PM
* forehead smack*
my comment wasn't directed at Rogue. sorry I should have clarified.

*sends lots of positive engeries to Feral*

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:44 PM
To clarify...

ComteStGermain: rogue is a respected member of the community... shush...

Rogue: yes, respected... erm...ok... not respected, but an honored member

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Member




Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:47 PM
Thanks for the clarification, Hombre Grande. I don't wear respect well, I look much better in a fear and loathing.

 

____________________
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:50 PM
rogue... you are my friend... and that takes a special kind of person

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>







Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:51 PM
As Schiz wanted me to post... This just arrived in the email

"Please send chapter one and two, single spaced not via attachment.

Thank you.


BB for ES Agency"

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can. />
/>

/>









Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Member




Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:59 PM
Danke Feral, and much luck on the publishing. We're all rooting for you.

 

____________________
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 18/1/2007 at 10:14 PM
Sending some good vibes your way, Feral. Best of luck with the novel.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/1/2007 at 03:49 AM
Good luck!!

As for the arsehole agent, at least you know quick and upfront that that isn't the sort of agency you want to be dealing with. I mean, even if you're going to say no, you should at least do it in a more professional manner.

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/1/2007 at 08:15 PM
yeah... this whole experience is making me physically ill... I am sooo nervous...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>

/>


/>











Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/1/2007 at 08:27 PM
*hugs* we're all standing behind you, Feral...

and if you are not feeling well, may I play nurse?

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 
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