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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic   Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 09:41 AM |
With all the new talk of marriage and the reasons for it, I just thought
I'd share a bit of shmeng that I just heard of and is absolutely disgusting
me to no end.
My sister has been divorced for a few years now. She had been with that guy
since she was 16, and he was very abusive toward her. She's told me
repeatedly that she has no interest in ever getting married again. During
the past few years, she has been dating a guy she claimed to be in love
with. He recently broke it off with her to get married, to his ex
girlfriend. She told me that she is still in love with him, the same night
she was telling me about a new guy she was dating. This guy will soon be
inheriting his own business, he's very nice to her, gives her presents,
treats her very well, loves her kids, the kids love him, and everything
seems happy and good. He's stayed overnight with her, but only on the
weekends, when her kids are with their dad.
I just heard that they are going to be getting married, in September. This
has caused me all kinds of icky feelings, because my sister is rushing into
it too fast, she hasn't even tried living with him first, he hasn't tried
living with her and the kids, and she has admited to me that she doesn't
love him. In fact, she's still in love with the guy before, who married
someone else. The only reason I can think of for her to want to marry so
quickly is for financial stability. She has no idea what this guy's going
to be like when it's no longer a dating relationship. She hasn't known him
long enough to really know what kind of person he really is. And she
doesn't love him.
None of these seem to me to be a good reason to get married. She's making a
very, very big mistake. I don't know what to tell her. I'm going to see her
this weekend, and I know I'm going to blow up, lecture her, yell at her,
and tell her she doesn't have any sense. They should live together for at
least six months to see if they can handle day to day life with each other.
She should let go of the other guy and at least see if she can fall in love
with this new one. She should not be marrying someone just for financial
stability. There's all kinds of bad about this.
Anyone got any ideas on what would make this a good thing? What are good
reasons for my little sister to be marrying a guy she doesn't love so
quickly? Because I can't think of any, and I'll be damned if I'm going to
congratulate her for further ruining her life.
What are good reasons to get married at all? Besides making it easier for
health insurance and tax reasons? ____________________
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 16/3/2004 at 02:29 PM |
http://slate.msn.com/id/2097048/
this seemed relevant.. not sure I agree with it, but it shows the first of
a logical argument in this situation ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Anya
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 10:37 PM |
I was going to respond to this post on some stuff we learned in Psychology,
but haven't had the time until now.
You should love your spouse, true to that. However, love isn't the only
thing that usually keeps a relationship together. There's many people that
you'll grow to love, but there's other factors that play in a marriage. As
I said, sure you should love your spouse, but hate to break it to a lot of
people - it isn't the main thing that keeps a relationship together.
One of the core things that keeps a family stable is the thing that people
hate to admit to the most: money. If you have one person not contributing
to the household and someone working on a minimal wage, the chances of a
divorce is a lot higher. Statistically (just by statistics, but there's
ALWAYS exceptions and it depends on who got surveyed and who did not), the
majority of divorces come from poor families and middle-class families.
Why? They do not have that much to lose financially. Rich people, on the
other hand, have their nice SUV collection, a good portion of their bank
account, etc. This isn't an attack on poor and middle-class people, just
stating what was learned from most studies. So it draws the conclusion
that finances are a BIG part of what keeps a person together.
Another factor is how much in common the two people have. I cringed when I
looked at these studies in class, but a lot of people have a better chance
of staying together if they have a similar, if not same, religion. It was
brought up in my "Dilemmas, Dilemmas" thread, but if you have two people
who are strong in their beliefs and hate it when people disagree with them,
then they're not going to work out well. It isn't impossible for two
people to keep together despite religion (finally some hope for the guy I
am trying to work with for I now know of someone who is a Pagan that is
married to a Southern Baptist), but it does help.
We did some interviews with two people (one older, one younger) that are
married with a family. They had their own input on what kept their
relationships stable...one thing they agreed on more than anything:
respect. People need to have respect for each other in a marriage to keep
it stable...then again, if they're money-dependent, they might just not
care about that (of course, that means they may have a dysfunctional
family). With all of these factors in a good spot, everything else should
fall into place.
Another big thing is the amount of bad habits that the person has...and how
much one is willing to deal with them. You can still love someone, but
totally hate their habits and know that you cannot be with them. For
instance, a family cannot be stable if you have a wife that is abusive all
the time and/or is spending a majority of the finances on drinking.
Then there's the minor things that're good bonuses to keeping a
relationship: personality traits; loooveee; security; etc.
These are major factors that keep a unity in the material world in good
condition. Of course you should love your spouse, but love alone doesn't
do it. Take my grandparents for instance - my grandma loves my grandpa a
lot, but she cannot be with him; she's naturally a loner and for whatever
reasons, cannot be in a marriage. Those little things can be disruptions.
Another thing that can cause instability is bad habits - I had feelings for
a druggie a long time ago, but I knew it would not work out because there
was a lot of crime and other forms of negative energy that was around him;
it wasn't the fact he was a druggie, it was the fact that his habit brought
a lot of negative energy around him, which I could not deal with. Also, if
a woman has to do all the labor in the house (or man for that matter) and
the spouse doesn't contribute anything, the person knows that they could do
better with someone else or getting rid of one mouth to feed. The list of
disruptions can go on.
While us very spiritual people would like to see marriage as something more
deep, it is a fact that love isn't the only thing that keeps people
together. It sucks, but it's true. The argument, of course, is always
going to be there, but considering all the turmoils in this world, I can
understand why certain things (and not just love) have to be there to keep
a stable marriage. As much as I think marriage should be a sacred thing
and I still view it as sacred, I'm aware that it's not the only thing that
comes into play. Naturally, I want to find someone that I love that has
all the other standards marked on the check list, but I know that if I
cannot find that person, then I may have to just deal.
*sighs* I feel like I'm preaching a lot of nonsense, but oh well...
There's something else that I forgot to go over in the above paragraphs
that contribute to a long and healthy marriage, though. A lot of people
nowadays have this mindset that if they do not get along with their spouse
anymore, then they need to get a divorce. I mean if the person is
extremely abusive and horrible for your health, then the divorce is beyond
justified, but from just arguing, that's different. In all honesty, no one
is going to get along ALL the time, 24/7. Hells, I do not even see many
friends getting along ALL the time. The mindset that really helps in this
case is not "I'll just cut myself from the problem" but "I'll go through
the problem." Look at the survivors of the Great Depression - their
divorce rate is REALLY low compared to the younger generations. That is
because they had really bad times and went through it instead of just
cutting off the problem. Yes, there are lines that're not to be crossed,
but for the most part, no one should get a divorce just because they "do
not get along anymore." If people keep that mindset, then they're not
going to have ANY stable marriage, heh.
I'm sorry for the big rant. I just thought that I'd add what I learned in
Psychology on top of how I feel about marriage. As I said, I really feel
it's a sacred thing, but I also know that common sense is required for the
sake of survival, as well. I do not approve of gold-diggers (think that's
too far on financial worries), but they have a direction in the sense that
money is needed to keep things stable.
Blessings,
An'ya
[Edited on 3/13/2004 by Anya]
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 08:26 PM |
Okay, talked to my sister. I kept looking at her and she said to me, "You
keep looking at me. Why do you keep looking at me?" (remember that for a
long time, I was the acting mother to her.) Our mother said, "She thinks
you're an idiot for getting married so soon." As soon as I could, I dragged
my sister outside, and proceeded to tell her that she hadn't had time to
really get to know this guy, that they should live together first for a
while to see if they could get along in daily life with each other, asked
if she was still not in love with him, and all sorts of things. I grilled
that kid. She told me that they knew each other well enough, that they
planned to live together for a few months prior to the event, and yes, she
was in love with him. I asked what had happened to make that happen, and
she said, "He did." My cynical mind said, what did he do, show you his bank
account records? What I said was, "Really, how?" Then she went on about how
he was perfect. He takes care of her. "I have never been taken care of in
my life, and he's willing to drop everything to take care of me." That was
starting to sound uncomfortably familiar. I went through the same
I've-never-been-taken-care-of bullshit.
Basically, if he is this too good to be true kind of guy and he doesn't
turn on her as soon as that knot is tied, she does have my blessing. I told
her that. She did need my blessing, it was important to her. I still think
she's being a bit of a gold digger, but that's how she's always been. I get
to meet the guy tomorrow at my niece's birthday party. I'll pass judgement
then. If they're happy, they're happy. And it's her life, mot mine. And I
quit being her mother years ago.
I just hope it all works out for her...
____________________
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Merry_Widow
Fanatic  Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 01:14 PM |
Up until very recently, I wanted to get married within a few years. Then I
got pregnant. And now I don't see myself getting married anytime soon.
There are more important things than little fantasy ideals based off of
what I think marriage is supposed to be.
I'm not saying marriage is a bad thing, or something that is completely out
of my future. I just got smacked with a situation that I had never had
before, and it seriously altered my life and my patterns of thought. I
think that later on, when I have figured things out again, at least as far
as I am able, I'll be ready for it. But not now. No shotgun weddings
because the contraceptives failed, thank you. I fully believe marriage is
right for some people, while I just as firmly believe that some people
should never go against their ideals and conform to that little notorized
certificate. Marriage, or the abiding decision not to get married, is a
very personal choice that should come after much thought and
communication.
And on a side note, pre-nups make my tummy hurt. If you really think that
someone is going to be hitching themselves to your post for your money,
then say no. ____________________
Okay, dazzle me.
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Psychopixi
Fanatic  Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 11:31 AM |
I think up until recently I've seen marriage as a highly idealistic thing,
where both people love each other completely and I just reasoned that
marriage was the evidence of that love and commitment.
In the past year I've had something of a boot up the arse from "Real Life",
which has led to me changing my views. I can't say that reading other
people's experiences on here didn't contribute either.
My tentative ideas about marriage are that it's mostly (not always!) either
for the legalities - inheritance, insurance etc..., for the benefit of
one/both people involved, or because it's what many people are expected to
do. I always expected that I'd grow up, meet the man of my dreams
and have a glorious white wedding in some beautiful church. When I thought
about why I'd be getting married, I told myself that it would be
because I loved the guy, whoever he turned out to be.
Now I'm fairly sure that if I do get married it will be for the legal
perks. If I fall in love enough to want to spend the rest of my life with
one person, then I don't need a marriage certificate to tell me it's okay
to love him/her. I can love someone, and commit to them, and be happy that
I'm with them, without being married to them.
To go from what Schizo's said - I think you can be married spiritually - a
bit of paperwork won't change your feelings, it'll just help you out should
you need to turn to the legal benefits being married gets you.
There are certainly marriages that only happen because it's what is
expected of the people. If they're in a relationship for a long time, they
may well have pressure to tie the knot, when really that's not what they
want to do.
And of course there are marriages of convenience - shotgun weddings, for
example, or the classic case of marrying for money. An acquaintance of mine
is doing the latter, and I feel rather sorry for her fiancee. More because
I couldn't stand to spend five minutes with this girl, let alone "tilll
death do us part", than because she's marrying him because he can support
her financially and she won't have to do a day's work. ____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 04:12 AM |
Here's my two cents.
Marriage to me has three aspects. One is the legal contract. One is a
commitment of purpose to live for the mutual benefit. And one is a
celebration.
You can have any one without the others. Many marry legally but have no
commitment, and thus end up cheating or mistreating their partner in other
ways. Or they aren't celebrating anything because there is nothing to
celebrate. Just a business partnership.
Some never marry legally, but have all the commitment in the world.
Some celebrate their union in everyone's faces at all times, but have no
commitment or legal bond. You've all seen them.
I think the most important part of a healthy marriage is the commitment to
mutual benefit. So many people get into a relationship strictly for their
own benefit. These people should never get married. Because eventually,
they will find it more fun or profitable to treat the other person like
shit, or just to move on. There may be a time and a place for a
self-centered relationship, but it's time and place is not marriage.
By the way, quite obviously, commitment negates the option of cheating.
But how shall we define cheating? I think it's more than having sex with
someone other than your married partner. In a game, cheating occurs when
you break the rules. It's the same in marriage or other relationships.
Once a couple has set down their rules, they must keep them or be guilty of
cheating. If a couple decides that they can have sex with other people,
but only at the approval of the other, and one of them sneaks off and has
sex with someone they know their partner will disapprove of, that is
cheating. And of course, if you have a rule about not hitting the other
person or tearing them down verbally, and you break that rule, that is
cheating too, although not in a sexual way.
So if you're not willing to do that, don't get married.
Marriage is also a legal contract involving the distribution of property
and the care of children. It is possible to have this contract with no
personal commitment whatsoever. If this is all you want out of your
marriage, go for it, but don't expect it to somehow turn into something
different.
People also get married for the purpose of celebration. They have
something special, and they want the world to know. They throw a party,
put on special jewelry, and often one or both change their names to signify
their bond. Some people do this at the same time as the commitment and
legal contract, some have formed the commitment long before, and some never
commit (often keeping this lack of commitment secret from their
partner).
So why am I getting married?
YES HELLO SHMENG I AM GETTING MARRIED THIS IS MY ANNOUNCEMENT THIS IS FOR
REAL HOORAY!!!
I am already committed. I have been with my partner for three and a half
years. I have lived with him for a year and a half. We have a child. We
have already been through hell and back again together. We have both
screwed up in our own ways, and forgiven each other, and worked out the
problems and solved them. We already know each other's weak points and
strong points, and know how to live with them. We know our relationship
can survive poverty and homelessness, childbirth, tweaky times, sickness,
and insane work schedules. We love each other deeply, and already know
that love goes on when that head-over-heels feeling subsides. We know each
other's boundaries. We know each other's goals. And we've found our
common ground and mutual goals. We have a deep respect for each other.
Now, why not stop there? Why even bother to get married?
I have a million reasons, and some of them, I will warn you, are silly.
Such as, I don't like my last name and would rather have his. I would like
my mother to stop saying things like "I don't have the money to help you
buy a house, but if I did, I wouldn't give it to you because you're not
married." (Not that I'm trying to get this hypothetical money, but I'm
just sick of hearing her say that.) I would like to show his ex that YES
WE WANT TO BE TOGETHER, AND HE'S NOT JUST WITH ME BECAUSE HE CAN'T BE WITH
YOU AND BECAUSE I WAS HAVING HIS BABY!!! I want an excuse to throw an
ass-kicking party just for us.
And some more practical reasons - I can go on his family health insurance
plan, which will cost us a little less. If anything happens to him, I can
inherit his assets. I will have a slightly stronger position when it comes
to his children; my step-children. Landlords and mortgage companies will
take us more seriously.
So there you go. That's why I'm getting married. Although in a spiritual
sense, I already consider myself married. I'm just going to fill out some
paperwork and throw a party.
I have nothing against anyone who doesn't want to get legally married.
It's your own decision. But I want to do it, so please don't outlaw it
yet! ____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/3/2004 at 01:24 AM |
| love is nothing more than the body's way o tricking you into spreading your
genes... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Zero
Fanatic  Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 07:24 PM |
I'm beginning to beleive that we don't need marriage any
more.....especially if it's really nothing more than a business
contract.....*sigh* I guess you really can't blame anyone for romanticizing
marriage....and making more about love....but if I ever get married (i
highly doubt I will) it wont be like a business contract.
____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak." ~
The Sandman, Dream Country
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 11:35 AM |
Callei: I remember, I truly do... and you remember what she did to me...
*sighs* I think it is outdated and was a necessary evil due to organised
religion... but not needed any longer...
____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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callei
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 11:31 AM |
feral my training marriage cost me some 50k. we didnt marry for love i dont
think. i think, after years of thinking about it, we married because that
is what we were supposed to do. it made us hate each other. we loved each
other, but werent "in love". we thought we were compatable in terms of
politcs and life goals. we werent really, but we tried to be. we hurt each
other alot before we split and hurt lots more people in the mix.
i dont regret the relationship with him or what came out of it. i do regret
the damage that the marriage did to us both, in terms of money and for him
religion (he was catholic). I regret that we signed the paper that made us
have to fight so much to get apart. if we hadnt we might have been able to
split and not hate each other so much for so long.
you remember what i was like when we met. I would rant about him for hours
and cry and scream and fuss. and i always came back to the "things" i had
lost as the point of grief, not the love itself. the marriage is what
killed the love. ____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 09:06 AM |
Callei: you forgot an aspect of cheating... getting dick from someone other
than your hubby...
Genera; I've been married (technically) three times... the first time...
was right ot of high school... to my high school sweetheart. I mared her
for love... she cheated on me... with my best friend... I came home early
from work and caught em. Tried to kill him... I threw him through a solid
oak door. down the hall, through another solid oak door into the bathroom,
out of the bath room, down the stairs and through the sold oak front door.
as he ran away I burned his clothes on the lawn. That was for love...
the second time... it was a spiritual thing.... she was, I thought, my
soulmate... I sold everything I owned, bicycled 1200 miles to be with her.
We were handfasted, bound spiritually... and she cheated on me. She
Poisoned me against my hometown... made it so I had o leave because
everywhere I wentI could feel her, smell her, hear her... in june I come
home for the first time in almost a decade... That was for love and
spiritual awareness...
The third... I loved her forever... she never knew how much... we were
married when I told her, and she thought she comprehended... but she was
bsexual, and loved her girlfriend more than I... I gave her leave, and it
was anulled... That was for love...
Perhaps... I mean, just maybe.... there is no compelling reason for me to
get married... or perhaps I should avoid interpersonal relationships all
together... but in my lifetime I have spent well over 10,000 on lawyers,
courts and divorce... I could have a reliable car if I hadn't been
married...
But then... I would rather have one moment of wonderful, than an entire
lifetime of something special. Here in th forums, there arr many times
where I will start a post, but I delete it because a) it does not sound
right, b) it tends to prove my complete social ineptitude, and c) it shows
how fragile I truly am... I hope perhaps that someone can learn something
from these words...
Laid Bare,
Feral
____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 08:52 AM |
i am seeing three major views on marriage here; that marraige is an
emotional thing, that marriage is a legal thing, and that marriage is a bad
thing.
Just to clarify a few things for those of you that arent into history...
marriage laws are about property, rights to property (tangible and
intangable), and the distribution of that property at death. there are some
civil laws that deal with sex in a marriage (that he owes it to her and she
can sue if he doesnt get it up mostly) and few that deal with kids born
while that marriage was contracted.
But in general the marriage laws are ignored. Prenuptual agreements, dna
tests, cheating (getting it up for someone else but not for the wife),
seperate monies, IRAs, heath care, etc. so the laws that we have are not
adequate to deal with the property contracts into which people enter today.
So far a few people have said that they are together because of love, but
married due to the legal or social benefits that they get. So far no one
here has said that they married for love and that marriage is what made
that love work. a few teenagers have said that they think marriage and love
are somehow intertwined, but that is to be expected since they are kids,
watch too much TV, and have never had a serious relationship (having to see
that same person EVERY morning before they have brushed thier teeth). they
have been raised on fairy tales and are startled to learn that thier
mothers thought long and hard about who to marry and that it had little to
do with "love" and more to do with life.
There is no ignoring the legalities of marriage since you have to sign a
contract, swear in front of a group of witnesses, and file supporting
evidence every year. yes you do. what do you think that bit of paper that
you sigh after the "white church wedding" is all about? its a contract
saying that s/he owns 50% of your property, credit, name, future property
(tangible and intangible), pension, and any children you might have after
that day. the divorce courts are always full and new laws are being passed
almost daily to try to cope with the variety of pratical marriage practices
that people decide to end or change.
as to marriage being a bad thing, well that is a valid point of view since
so many people are pushed into this contract/incorporation before they have
any idea what that contract means in the real world. some have a grasp of
what it means to thier religion, but that is something waaaay different
that what it means in the world's courts. The business (and yes it is a
business with accounting, forward planning, office managerment, production
etc) is not what they expected and for the most part they arent warned that
marriage is work not play. most people (we are talking first marriage here)
dont do thier due dilligence before accepting or making a bid for
controlling shares or before contracting a merger. both sides are let down
when they see the real accounts (again tangible and intangible) of the
other side.
Its sad to me that so many people confuse business with pleasure, sex for
fun with sex for money, and companionship with someone else in the house.
personally i think it is sick that churches are involved in contracting
legal, politically legal documents and that they advise people to enter
into a government contract without telling them what that contract is. I
think is is sick and wrong that there is no seperation of church and state
on this one. after all the church has only been apart of western marriages
for some 400-500 years. before that it was a legal/social thing. the church
just wanted more money (cuz you have to pay the priest). meanies. ____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/3/2004 at 01:15 AM |
| well... gotta say this... just make sure he is the one... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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LadyCygnet
Fanatic  Posts: 287 Registered: 31/10/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 11:28 PM |
I call it mercenary in the sense that it profitted us both, at that time.
I was living in a hostile situation, and my ex was being abused by his
family, so we decided to just go ahead and do it. We cared for each other,
but neither one od us was really in love with the other. We had both been
dumped at about the same time, so it was a serious rebound thing that had
painful consequences for us both. And, unfortunately, as things often do,
they got really bad for a while. He started showing sides I'd never seen
before, including a truly cruel sense of humor. He degraded me and used me
for all I was worth. He lived off of me, playing video games and messing
around on the computer, for quite a while until my mother finally convinced
him to get a job.
Me? Marry for money? Oh, heck no. This was a guy from a middle-class
family who cannot be moved by anything short of an act of God to rise above
what he already has. He has no drive, no abition, and it takes weeks just
to get him to do a sink full of dishes. He has no independent living
skills, short of driving. If I didn't feel so sorry for him, well, I'd
probably be a lot meaner than I am.
Anyway, now I must clean out the car that has been sitting for six months
while i waited for him to keep his promise to fix it. I'm having it towed
to a real mechanic who will see if it's worth fixing. It probably isn't
now.
Think long and hard before marrying...first time, second time, any
time...please...
[Edited on 11/3/2004 by LadyCygnet] ____________________
"To Live is to Annoy." -- Rev. Lambert Reilly, Archabbot, St. Meinrad Abbey
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 08:35 PM |
| My husband and I lived together first, then we got handfasted for the
love/commitment part. The reasons we went ahead and did the legal wedding
at the courthouse was to get me on his health insurance, inheritance
issues, tax filing status, and all the other "legal" things that go along
with it. As it turns out as for rider permits for riding in his truck, his
company only allows legal relatives such as a wife, and would not have
allowed an unmarried mate to ride along, so that turned out as a benefit in
that respect. However, that "legal" certificate had nothing to do with our
commitment to each other and I don't think it serves as anything other than
a financial relationship with someone. The handfasting was the personal
commitment part. In other words, a government "sanctioned" marriage has
nothing to do with holiness, or love, or family values, or anything even
remotely related to that. I can't understand why the government saying a
man/woman marriage even means anything in the way of those things, so since
it's nothing more than a legal/financial contract, they should get over
definining the sexes of the people involved basically. ____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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Zero
Fanatic Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 08:30 PM |
| MJ & ROGUE: I don't really beleive in love too much anyway...and as
long as you have enough time to get (off) what you want then time will
almost never be a factor....Ask for "the art of sex"....you're "wisdom" is
greatly appreciated. ____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak."
~
The Sandman, Dream Country
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Zero
Fanatic Posts: 459 Registered: 15/2/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 06:36 PM |
| No disrespect...but that's just desgusting.....you might wanna warn the
rich guy. ____________________
"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will
speak."
~
The Sandman, Dream Country
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/3/2004 at 06:23 PM |
| My baby sister has always been a grand champion gold digger, though. The
guy she'd married before was going to college to be a chemical engineer,
and she thought she'd be set for life with him. She's firmly of the opinion
that "It's just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor one".
Or at least marry one... ____________________
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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 posted on 10/3/2004 at 04:59 PM |
Sorry I grew up watching the A team
I still think that it should apply, marriage for the sake of being soldiers
for hire together, that is. I know that's what me and michael had in plan,
anyhow  ____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
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