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littlegothgirlthatcould
Member   Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
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 posted on 23/2/2007 at 02:20 PM |
I am a little lost...
I was put in Foster care about 3 weeks ago, because of my dad's physical
abuse and Marijuana issues. (stating right now i have no problem with
people smoking marijuana as I have done it myself a few times)
But it is a little bad when your whole life revolves around what kind your
parents can get, how much they can get, if your dad decides to beat you
because someone cheated him out of the ounce he was supposed to get...
Anyways, when I lived at home, my dad acted like he never wanted me,
beating me and my sister whenever he thought it would be fun...
you know "normal" stuff, like tripping you when you walked by or smashing
your face in to a wall that kind of stuff...
But my worry is that Health and Welfare may place us back in our fathers
care, (my parents are not divorced) Even after everything that has
happpend...
Court is on the 12 of March, and Im sorry if this post sounds whiney, I was
just...
Stressed and needed somewhere to talk about it...
Thanks for reading it if you did... ____________________
[[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown up and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]]
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic   Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/2/2007 at 03:09 PM |
How old are you? It's possible that you could apply for emancipation. I
take it that you would rather stay in the foster system than go back home?
Have you spoken to a social worker about this? Chances are, if you don't
want to go back, they won't make you. Those people love any excuse to take
kids from their parents anyway, I can't imagine that they would make
someone with a legitimate problem stay in an abusive situation.
ANd it didn't sound whiney at all... and I thoroughly sympathize. Been
there, myself.
Good luck.
*hug*
____________________
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pale-face
Fanatic  Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/2/2007 at 02:08 PM |
| if they know everything about the situation i dont see how they would put
you back in the care of your father. and mj has a good point, if you tell
them you dont want to go back they consider that strongly. ____________________
fucking classy.
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littlegothgirlthatcould
Member Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/2/2007 at 02:54 PM |
well, there is no emancipation law in idaho and the only loophole is to get
married, and im only 15 so im not planning on getting married anytime soon
 ____________________
[[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown up
and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]]
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/2/2007 at 04:59 PM |
| why not get involved in a marrage. i mean there are people getting married
to stay in the country. there are people marrying for money and wealth.
hell your arrage would be more meaningful that alot of others. ____________________
fucking classy.
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littlegothgirlthatcould
Member Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/2/2007 at 08:17 PM |
ughh, but who to get married too... so many choices... not
i think your parents have to give you permission to get married
anyways...well at 15 ____________________
[[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown up
and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]]
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/2/2007 at 12:14 AM |
Do NOT complicate your life further by making a stupid move like getting
married just to get away from your parents. It will make things worse.
You have three years left. I know that it's hell, but you have the comfort
of knowing that it will all get better as soon as you're a legal adult.
Hang in there. Three years is not such a long time. Do what you can to stay
in the foster system, and if that isn't an option, my best advice to you is
stay out of his way as much as possible, do all you can to survive. Once
you are legally an adult, you can go live with friends and figure out where
you will go from there.
If you're not living with your parents, it's easier to get student loans
for college. There are trade schools or you could just try to find a job
that will support you. Things that will get you out of the house right now
are school and a part time job. Save your money and get a car, because
without wheels, it will be harder to get away. Make an escape plan now and
the next three years will fly by because you will be busy preparing for
your future. It's rough as all hell, and it sounds like you won't have much
in the way of parental support when you start your new life as a grownup,
but if you are strong and sensible, you will make it.
And DO NOT get married for stupid reasons.
____________________
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/2/2007 at 08:59 AM |
DO NOT GET MARRIED...
tell the courts what you have said to us
tell them that you are afraid to go back... tell the judge... if I go
back... I will just leave...
then tell him you would rather marry yourself off than go back ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/2/2007 at 09:41 AM |
ditto to what Meranda and Feral told you...
Also... you are fifteen... you are in a hell of a situation without much to
fall back on... one thing you do have is yourself. Become your own best
friend. MAKE A PLAN. In three years, whether you are sent back home, and
finally have the chance to escape, or if you stay in foster care and get
spit out of the system... in three years you will have to make your own way
in the world. Fifteen is pretty damn young to learn this kind of
responsibility, but honestly, your future depends on it, and those three
years will pass quicker than you know. Make a plan, so you can land on
your feet. Get a job... get a car... save some money... don't be a
dumb-ass kid like some of the ones out there... you aren't going to have
anyone to catch you when you fall, like they do.
And best wishes... *hugs* I really appreciate how quickly you responded to
our little verbal spankings there... not many your age have that kind of
sense... I feel for you in your situation... I hope all goes well for
you... keep us updated... you'd be surprised how many of us were once
fifteen-year-olds trapped in really nasty situations, much like you... we'd
like to see you come through this with flying colors... ____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
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littlegothgirlthatcould
Member Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/2/2007 at 12:51 PM |
well, thank you guys!
you are one of the few people i had to turn to right now, i dont know the
next time i may be on because they are switching me houses again, 2nd one
this weekend, but we will see...
*hugs* thank you guys! ____________________
[[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown
up
/>
and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]]
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/2/2007 at 02:46 PM |
| best of luck. ____________________
fucking classy.
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 10:33 PM |
Damned right. What Schizo said. When I was 15, I'd gone through: Abusive
stepfather (You don't even want to know, but it involved throwing knives at
me at times, and whipping me with electrical cords. It was BAD.) A house
fire that destroyed everything I owned. Stepfather divorcing my mother.
Living with a JUNKIE... for more on this, read "Tales from a Teenage
Wasteland" http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&
amp;file=article&sid=604 Mother going insane and trying to kill
herself and getting commited to a mental hospital. Getting sent off to
another state to live with a man who'd abused me before (my mom's twin
sister's husband). They were going to put us into foster care then, but
sent us to them instead. Personally, I think I would rather have had the
foster care. Pissing him off and getting sent back to find that my mother
was HOMELESS... making me homeless, too. Living in a one room apartment
with my grandmother and mother and sleeping under the kitchen table while
working a full time job and going to high school and supporting my mother
and buying her a car so she could get a decent job and go back to being a
parent again. ALL this before I was 16.
I got through it by being smart and being industrious. If I hadn't been
willing to put effort into my own existence, I wouldn't have survived all
of that. I knew when to duck and keep out of the way, and I knew when to
take action. And that's something you will have to learn. Sometimes, we
don't get a fair shake out of life and it's up to us to make our lives
worth something. If you can be smart and not spaz at the people who are in
control and can lay low until you CAN do something about it... you will be
fine. Be careful. know that there are some things you just can't do
anything about until you are older and be patient and wait while making a
plan. Make sure it is a good plan. Keep your own self- interest in mind. It
is NOT in your self interest to engage in self destructive behavior. It
won't get you attention. be kind to yourself, for yourself is all that you
have. If you want any more advice from someone who's been there, message
me. I'll do what I can to help. ____________________
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 10:45 PM |
| wow mj... thats... incredible... ____________________
fucking classy.
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 10:48 PM |
| Personally, I think that Little goth girl that could has it worse than I
had it, and that's really saying something. She needs to be really strong
right now, and that's difficult for the most well-adjusted people. I just
hope she can handle what life is throwing at her. ____________________
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 10:51 PM |
| this may sound very god-ish of me but i believe there are some people put
on the earth to test us. and i believe with all my heart that with a
helping hand when nessisary we can all get thrugh our times or perril. ____________________
fucking classy.
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 11:01 PM |
What? You belive that by being tested , we are supposed to be going through
this shit for a PURPOSE? That we're just going to be forged into something
great by going through hardship? If my uncle was put here to test me..
that's a test I could have done without. Really. Ditto with the stepfather.
I don't think I really needed the lessons of fear and pain and shame. The
fact is, this shit happens FOR NO REASON. It's just extra stupidity that
life tosses at you, and if you're capable, you handle it, and if you're not
capable, you don't. It's RANDOM. I happened to be born into shit, and other
people happened to be born into golden bedsheets. What I made of my life
was MY OWN RESPONSIBILITY. As it is for everyone. If you're born into
shit, you do what you can to get out of it. Period. If you're born with a
priveleged life, it's just as easy to lose that through irresponsibility as
it is to keep it through doing what your should.
I do not belive in preordained destiny. I believe that your life is what
you make of it.
____________________
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 11:01 PM |
There is one thing that I can pass on that might seem small, but in reality
plays a large part in why some people can survive horrendous circumstances
and others end up unable to find a way out. That one thing is keeping your
"will" hidden and intact.
Sometimes you've got to hold on to that tiny glimmer of that inner bit of
yourself. Call it "will"...call it "ego"...call it "self", but it's that
one thing that holds a light that gives you just enough to rebuild and
restart once you've made it through all the wickedness. No matter how
battered and broken everything is...physically, emotionally, spiritually or
any other way a person can be broken, if you've kept that little part of
yourself safe and hidden, then you've done well. ____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 11:07 PM |
Starlight... I agree with you.. up to a point. Yes, I survived mostly by
keeping that bit of myself for myself. It kept me sane. Thing is, you have
to let it go to someone at some point, or you've lost. You have to make
yourself vulnerable to really live. It's the greatest risk of all.. and
it's the only one that really makes you feel alive. Emotional risk is the
scariest thing in the world to an abused soul... and it's the most
important fear to ever get over. Few ever fix this part of themselves after
being forced to hide for survival. It's very sad... how lost someone can
get. The real trick is to keep it hidden and safe, and know when to let it
run free and exposed.
____________________
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Merry_Widow
Fanatic  Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 11:13 PM |
I'ma go with MJ on this one. Shit happens. There isn't anyone pulling the
strings but yourself. The important part of it is to realize that no matter
what happens, you're stronger than it. It may take a bit to work of the
nerve, or the guts, or the will, or whatever you call it, but dammit, stand
up and throw down. That line about "That which does not kill you only makes
you stronger is bullshit." Tough stuff only shows you how tough you really
are.
And Lgg, I think you're plenty strong. Keep living and learning and you'll
get through this okay. ____________________
Okay, dazzle me.
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/2/2007 at 11:17 PM |
| That which does not kill me only pisses me off. Then it wishes it DID kill
me. ____________________
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