Post your unix jokes here (or other computer related jokes):
$ man woman
No manual entry for woman
____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
Transliterated:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret at back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat tick dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka number four,
Ampersand right-paren dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket tilde tilde CRASH.'
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
gothicmorman
Fanatic
Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 27/2/2006 at 01:00 PM
that is so cool - it sounds like something Dennis Lee would write
and he isn't anything like Dennis Leary.
::Edit:: and when i say Dennis Leary, I mean Denis Leary. They arn't even
spelled the same way. This is a pretty dumb mistake for you to make Feral.
Normally I would have expected at least a tiny bit more research out of
you.
[Edited on 2/28/2006 by gothicmorman]
14mw6014m
Coward
Posts: 3 Registered: 14/2/2006 Status: Offline
posted on 9/3/2006 at 08:02 PM
When in doubt GREP it...
In the UNIX API about creating 'children' is a bit messed up.
Fork() call will make children proccess and there will be a parent.
When the child process is 'idle' it must be removed.
So Fork()ing leads to Children. When they are idle they are killed.
In Windows these are threads.
____________________ ~ I am who I am~
Rogue
Member
Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/3/2006 at 10:10 PM
Okay, not so much a joke I hope. I was preparing for the new production
update of http://www.53.com, where I work these days, and I suggested that
we back up all previous files to /dev/null (since it has plenty of space)
in case we have to roll back the changes. Everybody, including my boss,
agreed that was a good idea.
____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
okayy... well... I REACENTLY heard someone say DENNIS LEE that guy that
wrote teh asshole song... sorry for assuming that the same thing had
happened here
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
gothicmorman
Fanatic
Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 20/3/2006 at 04:50 PM
Need a little UNIX help?
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code
of a program ?
UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it ?
UNIX consul: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one ?
UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo'
to get information about yoo'.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consul: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one ?
UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program?
How do I find it?
UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.
Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'
Customer: Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on
your system.
Customer: Write what?
UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer: Cut that out!
UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.
Don't forget the options.
Customer: Do you always do this ?
UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer: HELP!
UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Customer: You make me angry.
UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname'
when I was upset once.
Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'.
Every system has 'more'.
Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not
allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is
a file name.
Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.
Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team.
Devin
Administrator
Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
posted on 22/3/2006 at 02:30 PM
MystryssRavynDarque: 5 is 101
Devin: yay - you are now nerdier than 01100011 % of the population
MystryssRavynDarque: 6 is 110
MystryssRavynDarque: 7 is 111
MystryssRavynDarque: 8 is 1000
MystryssRavynDarque: 9 is 1001
MystryssRavynDarque: 10 i 1010
Devin: yep - lookit you - counting on your bits