W0rmW00d
Fanatic   Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 7/8/2004 at 07:51 PM |
OK, it is not a specifically gothic humour thingy, but its funny.
people may have seen these before, but what the hey:
FOREIGN SIGNS IN ENGLISH
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If
you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next
day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only
when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front
desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the
office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing
to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid
red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted
duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's
fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
courteous, efficient self-service.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big
rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow
Exhibition
of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These
were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their
workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the
hotel
porter.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden
on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.
On a Korean Kitchen knife: Warning, Keep out of children.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
latest Methodists.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water
has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been
played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven
city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride
on your own ass?
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock
to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to
work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a
foreigner
if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send
them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit
to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
On a BB gun made in China: Do not point at child or the animal.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have
any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the
water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
CONDITIONER: COOLERS AND HEATERS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF
WARM
in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of
foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at
first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.
signs taken from a couple of websites and a book called 'dumb signs.'
and ive just found the instructions, badly translated from japanese i
think, of an pump action pellet shooter. to cock it you must 'pull behind
lubberly cartridge belt until "kakaa" ' fortunately the lubberly cartridge
belt was labelled, and it was just the fact that the item was a peice of
useless crap which meant that it was unuseable.
[Edited on 8/8/2004 by W0rmW00d] ____________________
Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 09:48 PM |
Mono: we, indeed, are once again on the same page...
A bit of explanation... it was brought to my attention that I am an
asshole.... the person brought it to my attention in such away that
motivated me to try something different... I never leave one example as the
rule, so I tried... and I tried... and I tried different approaches... let
me assure you of this... if they are too fucking stupid to figure it out on
their own, they will not figure it out with my help... so I am not even
going to try... those 6 convinced me that my original path was the correct
one...
fuck em ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Monolycus
Fanatic  Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 08:55 PM |
feral: Yeah, sorry I wasn't clearer about things. Patience is thankless,
to be sure, but I think the potential benefits are preferable to the
absolutely zero benefit of bait-and-return-bait-and-return-bait-and-return
that keeps going on... and every time I see someone gleeful about roasting
I roll my eyes and groan inwardly in the same manner I do when I hear
about, say, news of Britney Spears.
If it seemed like I was singling you out there, it's because I don't think
of you as a 14.8 and thought bringing it to your attention might actually
have an impact. I wouldn't do that for just anyone. (take a hint people:
if you behave as a dumbass and you don't hear anything from me, don't take
it as tacit approval. It's more than likely that I just think you're
hopeless and don't enjoy banging empty heads. Thanks for the public
service moment.) Anyway, feral, I hope we're back to the same page.
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 07:17 PM |
| Mono: ahhhhh... i see the problem... *chuckles* Untill that last post... I
was NOT treating Wood as a troll... I was trteating him a s anewbie that
needed some help... please note... my recent reaction to abbadon... only
when he posts in a productive manner will I acknowledge him... and I
believe the same can be said over the last 6 weeks... I have been TRYING to
help newbies... not bash trolls... and that has caused some problems... so
I fuckin gave up... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 05:21 PM |
And by Kender, I meant Andree. I'm going to get some coffee and try to
sort through the dozens of faceless, interchangeable screen names in my
head until I get them right.
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 05:19 PM |
Kender wrote:
quote:
Am I the only one who
doesn't want feral to shut up? I'm not sucking up, I'm really not,
but speaking as someone who has a bad habit of being too nice
sometimes, it's refreshing when someone steps up and eloquently,
efficiently, and effectively says what needs to be said.
Nobody was telling feral to shut up. I was asking him to reconsider his
approach since, to date, no troll has ever left Shmeng still hungry for
negative attention, and at the end of the day we still have trolls and a
lot of clutter to show for it.
But I have considered what you had to say and I agree with you. You do
sound like you're sucking up.
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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Andree
Member   Posts: 112 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 02:40 PM |
| Am I the only one who doesn't want feral to shut up? I'm not
sucking up, I'm really not, but speaking as someone who has a bad habit of
being too nice sometimes, it's refreshing when someone steps up and
eloquently, efficiently, and effectively says what needs to be said. ____________________
< / hate >
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forigner
Coward   Posts: 5 Registered: 31/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 09:24 AM |
I'm not sure if it's true but i heard the original name of donkey kong in
japan was monkey kong. we get donkey kong cuz we have shitty
translaters.
 damn damn
damn.................
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 08:22 AM |
| Mono: there was really no debate here, man... and *chuckles* it really was
ON topic as it was a direct response... but that aside... What I meant, is
for the last month... I have been TRYING to help them... I have tried 6
different ways with 6 different ones... so, when you say I am lookin for a
fight, I am mystified... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Abbadon
Fanatic  Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 01:44 AM |
Seriuosly though Feral, chill man. These off topic posts and argument
starting attitude are getting even worse than me! Use the technique you
suggested, just ignore the bits you don't want to have to deal with. Its
better for everybody.
BB. ____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 01:42 AM |
Well, I don't know what results you are shooting for here beyond the
"wonderful mood" you mentioned. Apart from that, if you need to talk, feel
free to get in touch with me. Goes for everyone. Now get back on with the
debate at hand!
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/8/2004 at 12:35 AM |
| Mono: *chuckles* I find that very ironic, for these last few weeks, I have
literally been trying a new tack... trying to be kind to those that I would
normally roast... I have been in a wonderful mood for over a month... till
tonight... I tried it all at the behest of one of our newer members, and it
doesna seem to have worked... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 11:50 PM |
Okay, okay... you'll need to do as you think best. I'm just mentioning it
because to those of us on the outside it has been coming across as though
you've been looking for something to fight about lately. I'm not trying to
tell you how to comport yourself, but I have to question the efficacy of
your approach these past few weeks. Carry on.
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 11:24 PM |
| mono: I honestly don't think it was enough... he came here... and I have
tried to help him, both in private in public... and I have covered this
very point, but I don't think he got it because he continued and continued
and continued... perhaps, he will listen when one he considers a friend has
gotten fed up with it ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 11:03 PM |
feral, seriously man. Your first rebuke was enough, I'm sure he got it.
Remember the enantiodromia... don't be pissy telling someone about the
dangers of being pissy.
~M. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 04:00 PM |
| not only that... but all we fuckin asked for was citations... legal matters
and intellectual property worry us... and wearing your heart on your sleeve
because she didn't like what you posted before is no need to make an
obviously snide adn pissy remark... ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
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/>
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Kender
Occasional Poster   Posts: 26 Registered: 3/7/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 02:14 PM |
I thought i'd do the urban legend surfing for WormWood:
http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp
God I love Snopes  ____________________
Fuck the Rest of You.
-Machine Fucking Head
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 01:34 PM |
Yes, the nova had decent sales in mexico,.. as a matter of fact, the year
it was unveiled it was the most popular car from america there...
urban legends will getcha every time
now, wood... no offense intended... but that last comment to callei was
shitty... and that is what people have been opposed to...
[Edited on 8/11/2004 by feralucce] ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 01:14 PM |
oh, callei, as i have said, all except for one of the things on my list
were taken from other people's stuff. if this will get you into trouble
then feel free to remove it. as im sure you probably would anyway.
____________________
Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/8/2004 at 01:13 PM |
this is not a challenge. this is a question.
chevy nova?
is that as in chevrolet? do they manufacture american versions of vauxhall
cars, or have some form of manufacturing deal or is it conicidence that two
seperate continents have had the same linguistic problem occur (or not,
depending whether you beleve the popular urban legend, or if one is true
and the other not, or whatever) due to the spanish language being a major
one there? any thoughts or knowledge. i can't find any with my primitive
search techniques. all i get is urban legend sites telling me what we have
already gone over.. ____________________
Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
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