____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
littlegothgirlthatcould
Member
Posts: 100 Registered: 13/2/2007 Status: Offline
posted on 26/10/2009 at 09:13 AM
I'm back for the first time in around two years. I was taken out of foster
care and now I live back at home with my parents and siblings.
I'm going to an accelerated school so that I can graduate on time this year
and I am officially single for the first time in two years and am looking
forward to new and better things.
Hello, to all those of you that I know and have had grand conversations
with.
Nice to meet you, to the new friends I havent yet spoken to.
____________________ [[Ive learned too many things to let life pass me by now. Ive grown up and
learned my lessons, this is the beginning of the future]]
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/10/2009 at 10:15 AM
Hmmm... this could end up longish. Life has been pretty eventful for me
since I last did much of anything around here. How long has it been, a
year or two?
The big thing that happened in the past year was the finalization of my
divorce - a hideous fiasco that started with my ex's threat to take away
our daughter, went on to the notification for the first hearing arriving
three days after the hearing, so the judge temporarily awarded him all he
asked for. Which luckily was not all he was threatening to ask for. I
managed to get a redo, but the morning of that hearing, I awoke to an epic
ice storm that cut power to my area for almost a week. I still tried to
make it to the hearing, driving around fallen trees and over downed power
lines, only to find the hearing was cancelled. *sigh* The end result was,
we ended up with joint custody, in a stressful final hearing where I had no
lawyer, and his was willing and happy to lie for him. I'm really just glad
it's all over, and if that is the price of freedom, then it is well worth
the price, and I do find it fairly amusing that he had to hire a
professional to lie for him, just to prove to the lawyer that he is as good
a parent as I am. Things aren't ideal, but I can work with what I have,
and he really didn't end up taking much more than I would have given him
freely if he had ever shown any interest in it before.
But of course that was a huge stress, and I had several other huge stresses
simultaneously, touching just about every area of my life. By last spring,
I was at the absolute end of my rope, having anxiety attacks constantly,
broke, exhausted, and with a looming deadline to have to move, and no clue
where I was going to go. There was scarcely a part of my life that was not
in a state of absolute deconstruct. By the end of May, I was quite
literally about to sit in a corner in my apartment, rocking myself back and
forth, for my landlord to find, and let him deal with removing me and my
belongings, and I didn't really care what he did with them, or me, either.
But luckily, I had some family in the area that stepped in and helped me
pack and move, and an old friend with some extra room in her home who is
letting me room with her.
About this time, when I started to realize that I was about to hit bottom,
I did a lot of soul-searching, to try to figure out what I needed to do to
turn things around. The thing about a period of deconstruct, like I was
going through, is, that when the dust settles, you have a clean slate to
start from, and you can rebuild from scratch, and do it right this time. I
really wanted to do it right this time. But I was also very afraid to do
anything, because by now I was sure that everything I touched would go
wrong, and there was nothing but misery for me, no matter what.
But I decided to take a leap of faith, and chose one of the areas I've been
burnt the worst in - relationships. I took a step to open myself to the
possibility of finding someone, while at the same time being completely
terrified of love, because it had brought me nothing but misery in the end.
And the moment I did that, it was like someone turned a spotlight on me.
I've always been kind of a wallflower. I don't seek attention, and I don't
get it either, and I'm mostly fine with that. But now, I had requests for
dates pouring in, I had guys walking up to my friend and asking about me.
I had one weekend where, in that one weekend, I doubled my lifetime score
for guys I'd gone on dates with/ had shown serious interest in me. It was
totally flattering, but more than a little overwhelming.
Luckily for me, the guy behind door number one turned out to be the kind of
thing where life hits you over the head with a two-by-four and tells you to
pay attention. We've been dating every since, and I can tell you, he is
awesome, and just what I needed. Doing me worlds of good. The anxiety is
gone, the stress is gone, and I'm having so much fun.
Of course, this wouldn't be the life of Schizo if there wasn't some sort of
drama going on. You see, this dude is poly, and he has been living with a
woman 10 years his senior for about 18 years. And last year, she was
diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a terminal cancer. Her only hope is a
stem cell transplant, where they will replace her immune system. They're
actually going to do it twice, back to back. This (hopefully) will send
her into remission for a few years, and our hope is that, as fast as
research is developing on this cancer, that they will find a cure, or at
least a better treatment, before the cancer returns. But that's a big if,
and those transplants are no joke - the slightest infection could kill her.
So if anyone has a prayer to say, or some energy to send her way, that
would be much appreciated. She is an amazing woman, and I want to get the
chance to know her NOT sick and exhausted from this awful disease.
So yeah, that's the drama in my life now, but at least it's just the sort
of random drama that life likes to throw at the unwary. At least I'm no
longer choosing to associate myself with people who create their own
constant drama! I am learning!
Some of the smaller things I have been occupied with are, planning a route
to get myself into a more stable financial place - mostly involving
deciding to start taking some college classes - I'm thinking anything and
everything to do with computers, because that's been fascinating me lately,
and I also want to get back into languages - I used to love to learn
languages, and I want to do that again. There's got to be some good career
opportunities for someone working with computers, who can speak several
languages. I'm also learning to spin fire poi (see my new picture in the
galleries!) which is truly amazing! It's like making living art, and an
adrenaline rush all at once. And good exercise. I'm also getting into
belly dancing, and recently discovered that I have a knack for making
jewelry. If anyone would like me to make them a rosary, with a cross made
from a bullet and watch hands, I'm really good at those, and I'd love to
make one to order for someone.
So that's my recent life in a rather large nutshell. In short, my life
went BOOM, and I am now picking up the pieces, sorting them out, and
rebuilding a new, much better life. And I am hopeful, and happy. Which is
good.
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest
of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 16/10/2009 at 11:58 PM
Speaking of adventures...
I was at the fabric store today with my 15 year old daughter, buying odds
and ends for Halloween, and she and I were talking to one another...
And the checkout lady says, "Wait, she's your daughter??"
We both said, "well, yeah!"
She said, "Oh my God, I thought you were SISTERS!"
I said, "Lady, you just made my day."
She told my daughter: "You better hope you inherit whatever she has."