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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 12:44 AM |
I've been beating myself up a lot lately for what is a really superficial
and unnecessary reason.
The last time anyone asked for my I.D. for alcohol was about two years ago.
This didn't really bother me all that much until I had to listen to my boss
(who's a good friend too) carry on about how young she looks, and how hot
she looks, and how apparently every male who talks to her is "hitting" on
her. I know most people think she looks pretty close to her age (which is
31), but she's convinced she looks no older than about 20. This in itself
is not threatening, but when she began to make it obvious that she thinks
only her and those under the age of 25 at work are "really" being flirted
with, well it hit a nerve with me (a lot of nerves really). Suddenly
overnight, I felt like I'd aged five or ten years.
I'm not sure why it got into my head that way. Realistically even though
she and everyone else at work has a steady boyfriend or fiance, and I'm
very married, all of us get flirted with. I just manage to slip a comment
relating to my husband, when it seems someone is getting the wrong idea
with the talking or flirting, while she fails (quite often) to mention her
boyfriend or makes her relationship seem less serious than it is. My
husband says she feels threatened because she is not in a stable loving
relationship, and that she needs to make me think I'm less attractive than
her in order for her to feel better about herself. Well after the last few
days, I'm more and more certain of this.
I'm 37 and my husband is 30, and most people assume we are both about the
same age as each other (whatever that age might be). I can't understand why
I think I need to feel like I'm still attractive to people who are much
younger than I am, but I guess it's that little thing in my head that
doesn't realize I'm old enough to be some of the other employees' mother.
My husband says that I relate to the younger people really well because I'm
just cool and some people are just cool and others just aren't. This made
me feel a lot better about myself.
I'm not afraid of being older, I think I'm just a bit afraid of being less
attractive. I guess I need to find a way to become more secure that looking
twenty isn't what makes you look attractive, and that you can be attractive
at any age. Heck, I know I sure don't want to be attractive to most of the
things that are attracted to my boss. I guess I just need to learn to
translate her backhanded compliments (and they seem to be becoming more and
more frequent) as her own insecurity, and nothing more than that.
*Goes off and tries to be herself for herself and to not worry about being
anything else but that.* ____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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Remy
Occasional Poster   Posts: 34 Registered: 29/4/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 06:59 AM |
Attractiveness to me isn't as much about a young appearance as it is about
how much everything about that person seems to be "right". I know quite a
few women that don't look particularly good on photographs. But when you
meet them you soon realize that everything - looks, gesture, their way of
speaking etc. - just fit together perfectly. All these things together are
what make me consider a person as being attractive or being not. And
although nobody will believe me because I'm a male being who's only
interested in T&A  I have to say that physical attractiveness to me is the least
important factor... with the exception of her eyes and her smile.
Oh, and one last sentence concerning the title of this topic: Compare how
Sean Connery looked in the seventies and how he looks today, that should
proof that age and attractiveness don't exclude each other. ____________________
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of
nothing." - Oscar Wilde
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 07:49 AM |
I personally do not care to buy into the Hollywood notion that a skinny
body, unwrinkled skin, and regular features are necessary for beauty. To
me, all that is necessary is a beautiful personality, and not to actively
do anything uglifying to yourself, like giving yourself a nasty hair-do,
make-up job, outfit, or obese body (or anorexic, for that matter). People
are naturally beautiful, no matter what their features or body-type. I
personally have a taste for odd features and laugh-lines. I'm kind of
pissed that I am not getting laugh-lines quickly enough.
Was it Michaelangelo who prefered to paint the "ugly", because they had
more interesting faces? To me, a face has to be interesting, to have
character, to be truly beautiful.
So many otherwise "perfect" faces and bodies are marred by a nasty
disposition. Some people style their beauty away.
Each age has their own beauty - babyhood, childhood, adolescence, young
adulthood, middle age, old age - they all are lovely. It is the curse of
our time that middle age and old age are robbed of their claims to beauty -
unless of course they can botox and face lift their way to appearing
younger. ____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
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Erishkigal
Member   Posts: 62 Registered: 5/10/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 08:52 AM |
Interesting points Schizo, I'd have to agree with you there. Although I
look younger than I am *flips hair*
No... thats not good when you're sixteen? ____________________
Let viagra bring the magic back.
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Devin
Administrator   Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 09:30 AM |
| Go rent a bunch of Sex in the City tapes. Watch the older blonde and take
notes. ____________________
So Sayeth Me
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Abbadon
Fanatic  Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 09:35 AM |
| Time is an ocean in which we must drown. ____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
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Cashmere
Member  Posts: 58 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/6/2003 at 11:28 AM |
It really has less to do with your beauty and more with her self
confidence. Her self worth is pinned on others' opinions of her appearance,
thus the attempts to look younger. On a scientific level men are supposed
to find younger looking women attractive because of their ability to
produce healthy children. When I am over thirty I do not want to be thought
of as little more than a womb with legs. A person who is over thirty and
attractive becomes timeless in a sense, they gain a sense of sophistication
that does not leave even if they lose aspects of their faces due to
accidents or stroke.
And what good is being attractive if you do not have the self confidence to
believe it? Those who rely on others for their self esteem are miserable
creatures who must become something they are not in order to be happy. It
sounds to me that you have confidence, and that is more appealing than
physical features. Also, an unattractive person (physically or mentally)
person who looks eighteen is still unattractive. ____________________
"Truth is always on the move. It is always somewhere, but never in the
foreground, never on the surface."
-Franz Marc
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Merry_Widow
Fanatic  Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 12:35 AM |
| Sean Connery. Nuff said. ____________________
Okay, dazzle me.
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 01:36 AM |
Sean Connery, good point! He was grody when he was young, and he aged like
wine (into vinear of course)! Good god, how the fuck do people find him
attractive? Oi...
Anyway, I've been seeing an 18 year old since March and it's been wierd. I
went her higschool graduation recently, we never go anywhere yoo need an
ID, and I'm enjoying every second of it! It sucks because now I'm looking
at higchool girls and thinking "heeeeey!" Until this girl I've always
dated people within a year or two of my age but kids aside, I know know
quite a few older women (and by older I mean older than my 2 year radius,
thus anyone 26 and older) who are every bit as beautiful as 18 year olds
(maybe not MY 18 year old but still...)
I mean hell, age shouldn't be a factor unless (a) yor a kid or (B) yor
senile. I don't care HOW old Carolyn Jones (the original Morticia Addams)
is, I would be all over her... ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl
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Anya
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 05:41 AM |
I know how it is to have a low self-esteem from time to time. But eh...who
would want to be a sickly anorexic blond with implants? Not me.
I may have problems with my appearance, but I think every other human is
pretty much beautiful in their own way. Physical appearance shouldn't
matter. 
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callei
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 06:23 AM |
I think physical appearance should matter, and matter even more. If i
fashion line is going to use really thin models, then it should sell those
clothes in really thin sizes. The converse also being true that they should
use regular size models for regular size clothes and so on. If some company
is going to sell a product they should use models that accuratly reflect
the core market that they are trying to sell to. so toys for kids should
have ragged adults in them, supermarket ads should include screaming
children, and Disneyland should well, shouldnt be allowed to makes ads at
all (serperate rant for another day).
And it is important for breeding i think, its the way that the
animal/reptile brain figures out the difference between a tree and someone
of the same species so that attempts to breed have a better chance of
resulting in viable offspring.
And how else would we be able to tell right away that someone is say under
10 years old or over 100 years old?
____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 08:56 PM |
| You guys have made a lot of really good points. I actually haven't ever
seen Sex and the City, though cuz I don't have that particular channel at
home. I must agree on the Sean Connery issue, as he did seriously grow more
attractive with age. There is a side note that I had almost forgotten
about, and that would be the whole scenario of females propositioning me.
That's a whole other world that the boss isn't a part of *lol*. Having
thrown that into the mix, I should never have worried in the first place. ____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've
never
tried before." ~Mae West
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/6/2003 at 10:53 PM |
I dont mean to change the subject but come on, what's up with this Sean
Connery thing? As bond his face grarled and he looked frankly like the
balls of lint I pull out of the drain when I clean the tub! Not only was
this hairy monstrosity disgusting THEN but he's aged 50 years IN THE SUN!
Oi...
Someone explain the appeal to mee. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl
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Anya
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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 posted on 18/6/2003 at 06:21 AM |
I think a lot of the models in magazines are basically warped to look a
tiny bit skinner *well, sometimes a lot* than they are. But that's me and
I know how the tricks can be done...and they've even explained it on TV on
how some of these magazines have the super thin models for that reason.
*now visualizes super thin clothes for super thin women and a lot of girls
trying to fit into them before blipping out of existance due to
malnutrition and all that stuff*
IamSquid: I have no idea either. Such a mushed irony, eh? As for myself,
not sure about his past years, but as current years, I found him attractive
in more ways than one. But keep in mind that it's mostly his current
movies I've seen, not his past movies. *though saw an old James Bond flick
and did not EVEN recognize it was Sean Connery* *is young, she knows*
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/6/2003 at 07:00 AM |
Would Sofia Loren be a better symbol of sexy and 60 for you squid?
____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
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KatB
Fanatic  Posts: 241 Registered: 16/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/6/2003 at 06:52 PM |
Uhm, well I s'pose attraction includes the brain too, as soon as you're
finished with the first glance... I recently had a short fling with a (at
the time) very attractive boy 14 years my junior (I'm 33...), and it didn't
take long before I just wanted to shoot the little dramaqueen. Sex was
amazing, though - there seems to be some truth in what 'they' say about
younger men and 'older' women  ____________________
All stressed out and no one to choke...
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/6/2003 at 07:26 AM |
Beauty is not confined to the young. A woman should not feel that she has
to be "maiden" to be beautiful. "Mother" and "crone" are just as
beautiful. Crone especially, except when she is trying too hard to still
look maiden.
And it is true - physical appearance should matter. And all supermodels
should be forced to appear as they do in the bathroom, as they practice
bulemia. Only then will their true beauty be revealed. Oh, and also as
they appear in the doctor's office, as they are being treated for various
health problems arising from their malnourishment. Only the truly
genetically tiny would escape with beauty unscathed in that case. And they
can stand along the other beautiful people of all sizes who do not do
horrible, ugly things to themselves. ____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest
of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
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