This is my query letter...
______________________________
After reading the list of genres you have represented, I am impressed by
the wide array of them, and the broad rage of topics. I recently completed
my first novel and believe I am ready for representation. Your esoteric
collection of published books appeals to me a great deal.
My 79,000 word novel “Memoirs of an Unremarkable Man” is a first person
narrative of the history of the universe from the standpoint of a deity. It
starts with the creation of the universe and moves through the deity's
exploration of self and the nature of creation; and on through his life and
into modern times; ending during the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina.
Oce the universe and man are created, things go wrong. The nature of the
universe is such that the presence of light necessitates the existence of
darkness. This darkness results in a corruption of the whole of creation,
manifesting in different ways depending on culture, location and beliefs.
The divine is plagued by a driving need to fix this rend in the fabric of
reality. Eventually, the divine comes face to face with the root of the
corruption, Lucifer. Lucifer and he become fast friends and work through
the rest of eternity as companions. With Lucifer's insight, the divine has
hope for creation.
Would you like to see a few sample chapters or a manuscript? I am new to
writing novels, but; I have been telling stories via role-playing games for
well over 20 years. While the tradition of role-playing is an oral one,
rather than a written one, the mechanics of a good story transcend genre. I
feel that I am ready for representation as I have finished one novel and
have started drafting another.
Thank you for your consideration and time.
____________________________________
The Following is the response...
_____________________________________
this sounds like it had the potential to be interesting, despite the myriad
other books with similar premises, but unfortunately, it seems to quickly
lose its irony when it gets into all that divine and deity and lucifer
nonsense. religion doesn't equal literature. in fact, it's the opposite of
literature. and when it tries to pass itself off as literature, it is
invariably the worst kind of literature. role-playing games are not
literature.
with that said, i think spending a few years revising (and by revising i
don't mean running spell check) might turn this into a work a professional
might want to consider, so you need not give up on it entirely. (you may
decide you want to later, which is perfectly acceptable, too.) you
defintiely need to set it aside and stop querying (and from the looks of
it, i'm not the only agent to receive your form-letter q) at once. as it
stands, i'm guessing it's far from being ready to be shopped around to
agents, much less editors. you don't want to embarrass yourself any more
than you have to.
you may want to dismiss my response, but your "first novel" and "new to
writing novels" status doesn't do much to argue against such an assessment.
this isn't ready. you're not ready. you need to start over. and this time
more humbly. i suggest starting with reading books--serious ones--and maybe
taking some of your early drafts to a local writing group or junior college
workshop. maybe by the second or third manuscript, we can chat again?
best,
-------------------------------------------
What an arrogant piece of shit... he's not even seen a sample chapter
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
rayce... send me an email at feralucce@wayoutonthecorner please... your
yahoo address from your site bounces back... and I am not sure about
thehotmail validity
Hell... anyone that would like to read the whole first novel and help witht
eh writing of teh second... can send an email to that address...
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic
Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 30/1/2007 at 10:29 AM
I volunteer!
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
Rogue
Member
Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 26/1/2007 at 07:05 PM
I'll look at whatever you like, although I'm still working on my peerage.
Apparently the small piece of that island in Scotland isn't enough to
guarantee peerage, so I'll have to up the ante a bit. What did you have in
mind?
____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
This is an awesome start Feral. I hope the ball keeps rolling for you all
the way to major publications.. and the bank of course
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 24/1/2007 at 11:14 PM
Good luck to you Feral. I've really been enjoying this story, and our home
will have a copy of your book if not more than one. Much luck and many good
vibes to you.
____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
Vanity publishing is bullshit... it does nothign but show that I have more
money than talent... and frankly... I don't... even if I had no talent, I
have less money... typically... if you are going to do vanity
publishing...I would recommend that you avoid it... 98% of them are
scams...
Amazon print on demand works well... if you are teaching a class and the
students HAVE to buy the book... but I don't want to sell a couple copies
here and a couple copies there...
Advance checks are how every publishing house does business... when they
issue you an advance check it is against future sales... it is never asked
to be repaid if the publisher doesn;t sell enough copies... as marketing is
their responsibility...
check out the 2007 writer's market for more information...
I want an agent, instead of shopping publishers directly because I would
like to get more than the minimum advance
and you do not get treated with hatred... you get treated the same as
everyone else... if you insult someone without the respect to back it up...
you are ridiculed... if you claim to be 250 years old... you get called on
it... you act like an ass.. you get treated like an ass... you act like an
intelligent, real human being, you get treated as one... plain and simple.
[Edited on 1/24/2007 by feralucce]
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
ComteStGermain
Occasional Poster
Posts: 21 Registered: 13/6/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 21/1/2007 at 05:42 PM
I would issue a disclaimer that no offence is intended or implied with this
message.
Then, I would ask the question: Has one in such a position (e.g. our dear
Feralucce) considered the options of so-called "vanity publishing", wherein
one commissions a certain number of copies of a work to be printed as a
tool to obtaining future publishing from normal houses (or, in my case,
publishing my own memoirs simply for the sake of having such a
heady-sounding tome in my library)? There is a cost involved typically,
but there is also the modern option of on-demand publishing, wherein one
sends a manuscript to a publishing house who lists the book as available
(through normal channels, and through a recent invention known as Amazon)
and printing them as they are actually sold. This latter option is in fact
the lowest risk option for all involved, as some writing contracts will
contain an "advance" which must be paid back (or charged against for
advertising or other purposes) and is often demanded when one least expects
it.
You may now commence with the hatred to which I have become more than
accustomed over the years. Best wishes.
I am going to send him an autographed copy when I hit the top 100
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Merry_Widow
Fanatic
Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 20/1/2007 at 11:25 AM
I have to know which publisher that was. What an ass! And how
condescending, telling you to go to writing workshops at a community
college. Please. I've doen those, and Feral, you're so far beyond that.
What a maroon.
Oh, his loss, and more the gain for the people who were smart enough to ask
to see your actual writing.
Oh, and the trick to caring about what poeple think is not to care what
certain people think. It takes a little eposure, but you learn to filter
out which opinions matter and which ones are bunkus. I;ma go out on a limb
here and say the guy who can't punctuate or capitalize is bunkus.
this, however... is the the first time in my life that I am trying to sell
my self...Simply put... I have never had to care what people thing... and
now... I have to... I have no choice...and I don't know how to do this...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Rogue
Member
Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 19/1/2007 at 09:18 PM
Relax dude, fortune favours the bold, the only thing you have to fear is
fear itself, and we need Adlai badly.
____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 19/1/2007 at 08:27 PM
*hugs* we're all standing behind you, Feral...
and if you are not feeling well, may I play nurse?
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
yeah... this whole experience is making me physically ill... I am sooo
nervous...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Psychopixi
Fanatic
Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 19/1/2007 at 03:49 AM
Good luck!!
As for the arsehole agent, at least you know quick and upfront that that
isn't the sort of agency you want to be dealing with. I mean, even if
you're going to say no, you should at least do it in a more professional
manner.
____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 18/1/2007 at 10:14 PM
Sending some good vibes your way, Feral. Best of luck with the novel.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
Rogue
Member
Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 18/1/2007 at 06:59 PM
Danke Feral, and much luck on the publishing. We're all rooting for you.
____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.