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Sections index > Cult > The TweekyTime HowTo Printer friendly page

The TweekyTime HowTo

By being cooler than everybody else is, people like us are entitled to a thing called Tweekytime. This is a time of mental instability that cannot be held against us later. The difference between Tweekytime and going fucking psycho is a delicate one. If you follow the rules laid out in this document, you should be able to emerge from Tweekytime with minimal grudges, and as a way cooler person (entitled to even more Tweekytime). If you donít follow them, people will probably just think you're a lunatic.

Definitions: Tweekytime is a period of time (hopefully a short one, for your friends' sake) when you relinquish your stability and sometimes sanity in the hope of emerging a better, cooler, and more stable and sane person. While it can appear to others that youíve simply lost it, those who know better will recognize this and help you through it, provided, of course, that you havenít simply lost it. Far from being a bad thing, this is how people evolve and become someone that others can respect and look up to. Itís a bit like a snake shedding itís skin (or a phoenix on burning day), you look terrible, feel terrible, lash out at anyone around you Ė but when itís over Ė everything is better then it was before. This is how people go from dorks to cool to really cool to uber fucking cool.

Responsibility: There are certain responsibilities for everyone involved. These can be hard to remember when it comes down to it. Print out this page and keep it around in case the need arises (cause it will). When itís Tweekytime for you, there are only a few things you need to do, but you MUST do them.

  1. The most important thing you need to do is to admit to yourself that this is Tweekytime. There are all kinds of reasons for not doing this (see Ego section below), but it is necessary and important to go through with it. If you donít admit that you are having Tweekytime then you are doing this wrong and will get none of the benefits to which otherwise you would be entitled.
  2. Inform everyone who will be affected. It is not their job to guess. Them not guessing doesnít mean they donít love you or donít understand you. It is YOUR responsibility to tell them in a way that they can understand. Until you are sure they understand completely that it is now Tweekytime for you, anything they say and do wrong is YOUR problem, not theirs.
  3. Make it clear that you need them. You do, I promise. Sometimes you think you donít when everything starts getting all fucked up Ė but forgetting this step is a MAJOR mistake. Itís a simple thing to do, but a hard thing to remember. Unlike the previous rule, you have to do this continuously, at least until you are done.
  4. Never claim Tweekytime when it is not. While Tweekytime does give you license to get away with a lot, saying it is Tweekytime just to get out of something will not work. People will know. Itís obvious. Also, if youíre trying to be cool by claiming Tweekytime, youíre an idiot. Tweekytime is not cool. Doing it properly and then everyone involved putting it away like it didnít happen is what makes you cool when itís done. This is one of the differences between Tweekytime and Drama.
  5. Remember that this is all normal behavior and donít try to act as if itís not. While it may not be normal behavior for a prom queen Ė if you were a prom queen, you would not be reading this now would you? Everyone worthwhile has these phases. Since everyone is required to forgive and forget after itís over, it makes it seem like you are the first and last person to go though Tweekytime. Youíre not. Remember that itís a natural part of being the kind of person you have chosen to be.

If it is someone elseís Tweekytime, and youíre involved in some way, you have responsibilities and rules you need to follow as well.

  1. This WILL be you someday Ė probably very soon. Remember that when dealing with them. Be supportive and help them through it. They will do the same for you when itís your time. And it WILL be time.
  2. Any previous roles that were set up are temporarily invalid. Even if they were in the stronger role before, you are now in the parent role. I know you didnít ask for it, but anything they do during this time has to be forgiven and forgotten. Any direction they take has to be supported Ė even if you donít approve or like it. Grudges are not acceptable.
  3. Remember that this is temporary. It is a phase. Usually a longer phase than we would like Ė but if everything is done right, you should come out of this with a much cooler friend who you are a lot closer to than you were before.
  4. Never say anything remotely resembling "Thatís not like you." Of course itís not like them, itís Tweekytime. This kind of talk is dangerous. It can end Tweekytime early and make everything go back to looking like it did before. But it won't be the same. It will just be a comfortable resting place for things to fester and build up until the next inevitable Tweekytime, which I can assure you, you will not be a part.

Ego: Tweekytime is unflattering. Thatís just how it is. Thereís no way around it. Accept it. Your ego will not cope well with how you appear to others during this time. The best thing to do is to be around people who give a shit about you. Itís the same idea as getting too drunk. It may be embarrassing, but itís better to be around someone who will hold your hair out of the way than to go back to the party covered in puke. Itís tempting to try and maintain your composure Ė but giving up this bit of vanity will make this time far more productive and make you come out of it way cooler than you would otherwise.

Friends: Your friends are what make this time productive and make this work so well. Choose them wisely and take good care of them. Thank them. Donít do anything mean or hurtful if you can help it. As long as they are informed, youíre allowed to be erratic. You are not allowed to be mean. Donít forget to remind them repeatedly that you need them. They will be the ones that make sure nobody finds out about all the embarrassingly stupid shit you're doing.

Others: You will always have other people that you have to deal with besides those that the rules above apply to. Avoid these people if at all possible. For those you can't avoid, this would be a good place to direct some of that vanity you set aside. Try to appear as normal as possible to keep the questions away. After all of these efforts, you are still going to have contact with some people. Here are a few things that might seem obvious, but you need to remember them.

  1. Never say anything definitive or permanent. Say things like "I donít want to hang out with you right now" rather than "I never want to see you again". Even if youíre feeling the latter Ė the previous statement is the correct one. If, after everything is patched back together, you are still feeling the latter, then is the appropriate time to say it.
  2. Let other people deal with stuff. Assuming you followed the rules above that apply to those closest to you, you are entitled to relax and let them deal with most of the other people. They will clean up your messes, hide you, and protect you until you are reassembled, but ONLY if you give them license to and follow the rules above to the letter.

Making Use of it: So now youíve got all this time and freedom, what do you do with it? Anything. You will know instinctively. Go with it. Try not to take new advice, but definitely try to process old advice. Experiment with your personality. Too shy? Fix it now. Maybe incorporate parts of other peopleís personalities whom you admire. Adjust some of your outlooks on sex, relationships, social issues. This is the perfect time to do all of this. Your mind is extremely open to change and it will know what it wants changed. If you keep the external drama down, you can accomplish a lot. Only you know what needs to be done. As long as you donít forget any of the things laid out above, youíre allowed to do anything. So do it.


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