Goth Types Glitter Goth -from bettie_x can't miss it...if you suddenly go blind, you've found one. Glam Goth -from bettie_x One half naked, other half furry. Phychobilly Goth -from bettie_x Primarily indicated by smell, and a cowboy hat. Corporate Goth -from callei Actually drives a nice car, hair cuts and colors that are close to conservative. These tend to hide at the back of the club. Parental Goth Balances kids and corsettes/treanchcoats and can quote lion king and Harry potter. look for the gold stars stuck to thier clothes. Mall Goth -from bettie_x Indicated by smell, overaccessorization, lack of parental supervision, obsessed with caffine and cold pills, and proclivity of the secret hand shake...the five finger discount. Bitter Goth -from bettie_x Has a "been there, done that" attitude...they are rather confusing, as they sometimes masquerade as "ubers", but most commonly they are dressed plainly in black...they whine alot. Romantic Goth -from bettie_x Frilly shit and long coats...tries to speak with foreign accents and act like it's the 1700's...remember kids, pinkies UP! Cyber Goth -from bettie_x Watched the matrix too many times...either obcenely tight clothes, or for "non matrix" types, GIGANTIC glittery pants, goggles, can easily be tied in with "rave" goths. They have a hard time telling each other apart Hippie Goth -from bettie_x Super frilly as well, braless, and no makeup. Pretends often they are peasants of some medeval lord (significant other). Net Goth -from bettie_x Is only goth on the net...usually some wierdo with an uber spooky name who acts like a regular joe in the real world. Lives vicariously on the dark side of the net Military Goth -from callei Fishnets under thier fatigues, military hair cuts with non military colors. look for the guys that pogo to Bauhaus. Fetish Goth -from callei Goths with too much money or sewing skills. Look for the quantity of PVC, bruises, and an over use of chains. Sports Goth -from callei A healthy tan, strong limbs, and most likely not wearing any underwear. Look for surf boards and skis on thier car, or open parachutes in thier living room. Rengoth -from callei Different from romantic goth in that they follow the ren faires and thier black leather is is blacker than black Buttrock / Deathrock Goth -from callei 80's rock star hair or a pro-cuts 'do, bandshirts, jeans, and likely to headbang if the music gets loud. Vamp Goth -from callei Do I really need to describe this one? ok, look for the fake fangs and the cloak. 'nuff said. Kindergoth -from callei Check thier ID, it will be from middle school or high school. can also be any of the other "catagories". this is the pupa state. Artfag Goth -from callei Lives for thier art, other people's art, and the idea of art. Look for the paint splatters, smudges of clay, or sketch book. Loner Goth -from callei Dont bother to look for them, that is why they are loners. They will find you. Gamer Goth -from callei Look for dice bags, card bags, or nintendo thumb. Uber Can only be explained with examples: what is the sound on one hand flipping you off, its not hair it is a modern art, its not makeup its a lifestyle. see callei (this is a joke) Raver Goth -from callei This is like mixing extacy and opium. but you can spot them sporting baggy black clothes with glo-necklaces. Punkygoth -from bettie_x Indicated by smell and odd emulsients in their hair, these have combined the attitudes of ubergoths and punker than you types into one hypocritical snotty mess. Indicators are plaid pants with bauhaus patches, and has one morrisey cd hidden in the back of their cd book. Spooky Kids -from Mara "Real" Goths BLack Flames -from Mara Trying to hard, white face paint in a manson t-shirt, telling all the spooky kids they are trying to hard and not being real goths Blue FLames -from Mara No white face paint, an occasional manson t-shirt, a bit towards a raver Darwin Goths -from Dolorosa Goths who are simply not goth enough and eventually get eaten by a Goth subspecies higher up on the Goth Foodchain. Oxpecker Goths -from Dolorosa Whatever those kids are that seem to flock around the gothiest people they can find without actually ascribing to any similiar views or styles. Good for removing difficult to reach parasites. "So Goth Their Dead" Goths -from Dolorosa 'nuff said. 10/6 Goths -from Dolorosa People who can look like any other subspecies of Goth but are either clinically insane or just pure bonkers...if you don't get the name, watch Alice in Wonderland and check out the Mad Hatters hat card. The I-Am-Not-A-Goth from Schizo The person who fits every criteria of a true blue goth, but denies the name with every iota of their body. The Am-I-A-Goth -from Schizo Is the person who understands what it is to be a goth, identifies with it, and hesitates to categorically label themselves with the term. Boot-goth -from Ironboots They love delicious black boots, and wear black socks to match the black boots. They wear black pants to match the socks, and black shirts to match their pants. And then they try to bounce potatoes, and decide to stick to boots. *I was Goth before you were born* Goth -from Meranda_jade One who has been around since The Beginning... characterized by a cockney accent, lots of leather, and greying/balding hair *Wannabe* Goth from Meranda_jade The one who dresses up and goes to the club because her friends told her it was *cool* Meathead Goth -from bettie_x Has no neck, walks like an ape, is WAY too into bodybuilding, military by profession, large ego and low self esteem.. Dressed usually in skin tight black lycra tops with baggy black cargo pants or rave pants *shudder* or fishnet tops to exhibit their buffness. Swears a lot. Thinks peter steele is a pussbag and that they could take him in a fight. Listen for Linkin Park or ICP blaring out of a black honda civic. "I'm not goth, but I'm an expert on it and this is why you aren't" Goth... -from bettie_x Big ego, nothing to back it, dresses, acts and tries to "think" goth, but swears up and down they aren't but seem to know everything about it and why everyone else ISN'T what they aren't...usually everyone hates these people. Catty Goths -from bettie_x Aside from being my favorite website review page on the internet, these are usually "my black is blacker than YOUR black" types, but are much more fun 'cause they're serious. Usually bitter, mid 20's, and their mom WARNED them their faces would stick that way if they didn't stop, and ignored her. Usually heterosexual women, who sit in trendy gay bars/clubs and bitch about not being able to find a man. Also found in large cliques of other catties, who are constantly gibbering gossip about each other..occasionally a fight breaks out..CAT fight..and then my friends, the fun begins. Doomcookie -from bettie_x Often confused with mallrats, these are goths either too young to hang at the mall unsupervised or, for older ones, have a smidgen more dignity. Too much makeup, too antisocial for their own good, their life centers around "freaking people out" and ways to piss off their parents. Often found in well off suburbs, look for locked bedroom doors with "caution" tape on it, and accompanied by pot smoke and blaring marilyn manson music occasionally punctuated by screams of "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!" Flannel Goth -from Devin Indigenous to Seattle, but recently have begun to migrate to other areas. They worship Curt Cobain, shop in thrift store dumpsters, and they insist that you CAN wear plaid and still be goth. The URL for this story is: /modules.php?op=modload&name=Sections&file=index&req=viewarticle&artid=13