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Articles: Spirit World
Posted by Meranda_Jade on Monday, July 09, 2007 - 02:47 PM PST

Books
This is a story written my by thirteen year old daughter. She has been working on it in her mind since she was about 9 years old. I haven't helped her with this story in any way. Rogue has helped with a little proofreading. I have read stories from adults that weren't as well written as this. I thought it was something that the Shmeng community would enjoy, so I am posting it here.

Meranda Jade
(I took her name out of it, for privacy reasons)



Spirit World-Fierce's Story

By ******* ******



Chapter 1-Life, Death and Love



"After him!" screeched a griffon-spirit. Most griffons were police because of their 'high intelligence and good looks.' Hmpf, more like for their brutality and stupidity to have to deal with us every day for just a small amount of pride, I thought. Spirits who weren't griffons were chasing after me, though. More spirits than I could count were chasing after me, and I didn't care, for I had committed a terrible crime. The spirits Life and Death would soon get confused. I should be dead, but, alas, I am alive. I touched the Necklace of Elements. Some of the most famous spirits have touched this necklace and lost their lives. It was put under security because people had thought it was too dangerous. I had done what spirits thought was impossible.

I will control all, a thought wandered, I will kill who I want to kill. I will free who I want to free. I will live for as long as I want to live. I will die when I want to die, I thought, though I didn't really know why. Something was making me want to kill. All I wanted was a human to own. That is why I grabbed the necklace. That is why I went through all of that trouble thinking and plotting. I just wanted see what it was like for real. I just…

"What the in the world is that?" questioned one of the spirits. I looked ahead long enough to see what was going on. There was a portal of red, blue and purple. A little girl was in the entryway. Once she saw me, she screamed at the top of her lungs. I was bleeding everywhere. There were scars, gashes and tears in my skin. Plus, I was a demon, which probably freaked her out even more. I thought that, out of the kindness of my heart, I should have grabbed her and kept running, so I did.

"Let me go!" she yelped. She started kicking and screaming. I was getting irritated and was going to just drop her and let her figure everything out, but I didn't. She had some sort of force that didn't allow me to just do that.

We ran through the portal and busted into some old room. I closed the portal up and looked around. The girl had stopped screaming and took bandages out of her pocket. She started wrapping them around my biggest wound on my arm. I tried to move it. "No, don't move. You'll get hurt," she said, holding me down. I was actually looking at her now. She couldn't have been older than seven or eight. I've lived longer than that in Spirit years, but if I was a human on the planet Earth, then I would have been seven or eight, too. She also had hair that was a brownish-reddish-blondish color that went down to her mid-thigh. She was sort of short too, but I couldn't blame her. I was also short for my age. I then looked into her eyes. The crystal blue eyes I would never forget. They were full of fear, anger and loneliness, but at the same time, they held joy, laughter and trust, or maybe there was no expression… They looked like the eyes of an angel sent down from an unknown fantasy land where good always won. The only thing that was missing from her eyes was love. Is it possible that someone could never love? I asked myself, stupidly.

Bringing myself back to the real world, I forced myself to speak. "Where are we?" I asked as I now looked around the building. It was very dirty. It reminded me of a dark, black hole that sucked up everything in its path. Random odds and ends were placed here and about.

"We are in an abandoned orphanage," she explained, "Well, the attic at least." It made sense, although, I didn't feel quite right. It felt like there was a presence of something strong.

"Where was that place just now?" she asked, breaking my trance.

"Umm, well, I'm not supposed to tell you… But I will anyway… As thanks for saving me," I replied. I couldn't lie to her, and she did help me. My mind was pondering once again, uncontrollably. Just tell her then kill her! One thought said. Another one said, No wait, she could be your human! Just tell her! It was like the devil and the angel those silly humans made up sitting on your shoulders, arguing at you, telling you to do one good thing and one bad thing at the same time. I can't decide, sorry! I said to myself in my mind.

After a long period of silence, she asked again, "Where was that place just now? C-can you tell me? If you don't want to tell me, y-you don't have to, you know." She was so nervous; I wanted to cry for her. I felt like I could tell her anything.

"That place was Spir--" I started to say, but stopped, feeling drowsy. Those damn spirits better not have drugged me again, I thought to myself, but didn't really have much time to think about it. Before I knew it, I fell into a deep and dark, dreamless sleep.

~ ~ ~

When I awoke, I was in a different room of the orphanage, I think. There were rows and rows of beds. I was on one of them. The girl was on the one next to me, sleeping like a baby. My cuts and gashes were all nicely bandaged with bloodstained sheets of medical cloth. I'll have to thank her later... I said in my mind. I was feeling a lot better, but I was starving.

I decided to walk around and take a look at the rest of the orphanage, hoping to find some food. I went down the stairs and I looked straight ahead, wide-eyed. There was the kitchen. I checked the pantry, the refrigerator and the cupboards. No food, I thought, hungrily.

I walked towards a door that led outside. The outside nighttime view was beautiful. Trees glistened green colors, smoke rose from the neighboring chimneys and the starry night sky. There was a full moon, too.

"Pretty, huh?" A voice said behind me. I turned around. It was that same girl. "Do you want to go and walk outside?" She asked. I nodded. I really did want to see what the human world was like. I've only seen pictures of it in books and I've heard of it from my classmates.

We started walking down the road. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I wondered What if someone sees us? The girl seemed to act like nothing wrong was going on, like this was normal. Maybe it is… I stupidly imagined. Of course it wasn't normal. I wasn't supposed to be here and no one was supposed to see me. As we walked in silence, I began to question myself why I was doing this in the first place. Then my mind started wandering toward the girl. What is her past like? Why is she not freaking out? And what in the world is her name? I couldn't bring myself to ask these questions as we took a sudden turn.

We walked towards a lake and sat by it. It reflected the moonlight, which made the lake glisten and sparkle. Lost in thought, I tried to remember the last time I saw a sight this beautiful. I couldn't trace my memory any further back. I've never seen something as brilliant as this, and I probably never will.

"This is the most wonderful thing I've ever seen." I told the girl. It was certainly something you could not see in Spirit World.

"Really? Where you come from, you don't see full moons?" She asked.

"No, you would never see even a speck of starlight," I replied. It was true. I lived in a world where there was no moon. There were no stars. There was nothing where you could just look out a window and see the beauty of the night skies.

"Where do you live?" She requested. Oh, yea, I thought. I passed out when I was telling her. I'll give those damn spirits a piece of my mind someday.

"I live in Spir--" I was cut off yet again. The splitting sound of a bullet running through a barrel of a gun shook the Earth as we sat by the moonlit lake.

"We better get out of here," the girl exclaimed. The fear part of her showed out in her eyes.

"Umm… Uh, okay…" I said, thinking hard. Did someone see me? Am I getting this girl in trouble because someone saw me? I thought. Usually we spirits have a stone that makes us invisible. I don't have it because I got grounded from it, even though I never used it for the human world. I also dropped the one I stole while I was trying to get out of my house.

"There are a lot of alleys that we could hide in. Don't worry, I wont let anyone take you away! Not like the others…" she said in a panicked voice. Take me away? I thought, Who would want to take me away? Who are the 'others'? My mind pulsed with thoughts. I was getting a rather large headache.

We ran in to a wall. A dead end. "This is not good!" she screamed. She looked back, trying to find another way out.

"Who is about to get us?" I demanded, in a panic myself.

She looked around frantically. Then, as she was about to reply, there were people standing at the entry of the alley. "Them" she answered, quietly. These people had guns, cages and a lot of other stuff that would be used to catch wild animals… And to them, I am a wild animal, I thought.

"I'm sorry… I couldn't protect you… I'm so worthless…" the girl said. Right after she said that, triggers were being pulled to unleash the terrible sound of a gun. A bullet stuck into my shoulder. I cried in pain, as it hurt more than anything I've imagined. The girl just standing next to me was crying. Had she been on their team all along? I thought. Then I took that thought back when they shot her in the leg. I ignored my pain to crouch down beside her and see if she was okay. The other people started shooting again. I felt my back being thumped by bullets. I felt the pain of bullets going into my skin. I ignored that pain. I couldn't let her die. I was trying to protect her.

Keyno, fight… I heard in my mind. I didn't know if someone was talking to me or, if I imagined it, but I agreed with that thought.

"I'm sorry… That you had to see this. That you had to be a part of it…" I told the girl. I got up and walked toward the other people. The men stopped shooting, just for a second, and then started shooting again. They probably stopped shooting in shock. I gritted my teeth. I was so mad, I couldn't imagine it. I didn't know where all of this anger came from. It was like some sort of force. My eyes felt like they were on fire. My whole body felt like it was on fire. These two blades appeared in my hands. I had no clue where they came from or why they appeared, but it was something to use as a weapon. They were engraved with the runes of Bloodstone, a powerful species of demon that demanded blood. They also looked like they were made from actual bloodstone.

I got close enough to grab a guy in the neck. "Help me!" he bellowed, "The monster has caught me." I started crying for no reason. My tears glistened in the moonlight.

"I'm sorry," I said, "But you wanted a fight." After that, I thrusted one of my twin blades into his heart. I started crying even more. Then I saw the blood. The blood of a man. I've never seen it before. It was bright red, kind of like my own, but darker and thicker. The Bloodstone blades were satisfied, but I could not resist. I brought the blade up and licked it. It tasted good. I would have never thought that blood from a human would be so good. Then, I started trembling. I was freaked out that I would even try that. It was like I wanted to see the human die. The bullets were still coming towards me. I felt more pain and, as the pain got worse, I grew angrier.

"All right, you asked for it!" I yelled. The Bloodstone blades went everywhere, cutting people in half, fourths, and even eights. It was pleasing to me for some reason. After I was done, the streets were covered in blood and chunks of human. It was a terrifying sight. It would scare a girl out of her mind. That is when I remembered that girl. She was still there with the messed up leg. I rushed to her side. She was terrified of me. Kill her! A voice said in my head. I refused to listen to it, though.

"I'm sorry…" I said with tears in my eyes, "You didn't have to see this… Damn it!"

"Y-you were the f-first one to… to…" she said, shaking. I cried even harder and shook my head. My head drooped down like a wilting flower. I flinched as I felt a hand on my cheek. The girl was wiping the tears off of my eyes. I have never cried this much in my life. That is when I knew that the spirits of Life and Death were really confused. Both the girl and I should be dead, yet, we are still alive. I heard a faint voice in my thoughts again. This time it said, you have finally met her. The Angel of Light. Our plan is now ruined. Damn it! We've kept you away this long, I can't believe this failed. You're no use to us anymore. Your now just a worthless, beat-up body with no feelings, no soul, and now, with no heart!

I was gagging blood like I had no heart to hold all of it after that. Mounds and mounds of blood were pouring from my mouth. I wondered where all that blood came from. It was like I had a bottomless pond of blood where my heart should be.

As I was looking at the blood that I coughed up, I saw a huge lump in the puddle. I gagged it up with all of that blood. I was wondering how I was still living. I looked at the girl. She also was gagging blood. I then looked down. I saw that a lump also came out of the girl's tiny body. I wondered how she was living, too. She was human and she should be dead by now. Our blood looked like red glitter in the moonlight. I felt like I was the most pitiful person the universe has ever seen. I was helpless and vulnerable. The girl was like my copy, all beaten and out of power.

The girl, that was badly hurt from her leg that got shot and the blood that she had upchucked, had cried herself to sleep. Before she fell asleep, though, she said, "I'm glad that you survived. None of the others did what you did." I saw a light in her. I didn't know if it was my imagination or if it was real. I began to feel a little bit of my power restoring. I used that power to move and curl up around her. I fell asleep with her… Protecting her… As drifted off to sleep, I thought about what the spirits Life and Death were thinking right now. Defying death made me feel strong, but at the same time made me feel regret. Now I've created a mess with Life and Death. I will pay. I have to. It's now my only chance of survival.

I wanted the girl to know how much she had done to help me. "Angel," I addressed, "Thank you for helping me. I will come back for you. I promise to the very bottom of my heart. Stay strong. Someone will get us. Someone will save our souls…" Although she couldn't have heard me, it made me feel better inside. I finally was responsible for someone. I finally had feelings for someone. I finally loved someone. Angel… The Angel of Light…You can't hear me, but…I love you…




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Spirit World | Login/Create an account | 13 Comments
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Re: Spirit World
by Monolycus on Jul 13, 2007 - 10:32 PM
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******* wrote this?! She seems to have griffon's numbers down. I've never trusted those guys, either.



Re: Spirit World
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Jul 17, 2007 - 08:30 AM
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I was as surprised as you seem to be. I had no idea she had that kind of depth to her. She seems to have a good start and seems to really enjoy writing. I hope she does something with it.


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Re: Spirit World
by Merry_Widow on Jul 15, 2007 - 10:15 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
This makes me want to weep for sheer joy. She is writing better (and more entertaining) sentences than the better part of my graduates. I expect to hear about her on the best seller list in the future.



Re: Spirit World
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Jul 17, 2007 - 08:33 AM
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I was happily surprised by the strength of the writing as well. I only wish she'd put as much effort into actual schoolwork. But that doesn't interest her as much as writing for herself, and I can't really blame her. At least I know that she really is learning, despite what her grades say to the contrary.

It really is an arbitrary thing, isn't it?


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: Spirit World
by Nie (simim23@gmail.com)
on Jul 16, 2007 - 12:12 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://mistresschaokaomiao.deviantart.com
Wow. Very rarely, nowadays, does a story come along that I actually zip through because I start reading quickly to keep up the images in my mind. Whereas lately I've just been treading along the written word drudgingly, dragging my eyes along, full of ennui... this had me captivated.

Is there going to be... any more of this? ^-^



Re: Spirit World
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Jul 17, 2007 - 08:35 AM
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She is really happy with all the positive feedback on this, and appreciates it very much. I believe there will be more to this, as she is much better with follow-through on this sort of thing than I am.


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: Spirit World
by daria_4 (-)
on Jul 31, 2007 - 06:58 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
I <3 good grammar and smart writing. I'm looking forward to reading more of her work.


Re: Spirit World
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.net)
on Aug 01, 2007 - 08:30 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.saradevil.net
This is really well written for 13. She definitely needs to keep it up, she has a real flare for characters.

My only suggestion (teacher in me) is her conversational snips. While it is certainly not incorrect to use 'she said, he said, I demanded' etc after a conversation point, it is not always necessary. It might be something to think about to improve conversational flow as the word continues to develop.

If I were her English teacher this would be an A+.



Re: Spirit World
by Sardonic-Pain (SarieOwnsGod@hotmail.com)
on Aug 18, 2007 - 12:33 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://myspace.com/sarietastic
I Loved it. Ah the imagination of the young. I had to giggle every time she used "Damn it" though.



Re: Spirit World
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Aug 18, 2007 - 11:03 PM
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Yeah, that made me giggle, too.


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Re: Spirit World
by Closetgothbabe on Dec 26, 2007 - 07:22 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://photos.yahoo.com/genevive3121
Of course she is brilliant, look who her parents are!! Give her hugs for me. I miss you guys terribly!


Re: Spirit World
by gothicvampireangel (-)
on Jan 07, 2008 - 09:33 PM
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i loved it. she had me hooked from the first paragraph and i have to be hooked or i wont read it lol ... its great i find myself wanting more and more


Re: Spirit World
by littlegothgirlthatcould (thelittlegothgirlthatcould@yahoo.com)
on Feb 04, 2008 - 11:08 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
This is amazing.
She is a very talented writer.


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