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| Articles: Tick, tock, tick, tock... |
Posted by
Schizo on Monday, April 01, 2002 - 10:40 AM PST
Ick. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick. It looks like I'm about to fall into the hands of fundamentalist Christianity again.
The deadline for my eviction is fast approaching. I have to be out of my home by April 15th. I suppose I could fight it, but since I can't afford the place anyway, why bother?
The nasty thing is, the only place that seems to be opening up for me to live is an absolute HORROR HOUSE going by the name of His Mansion. Their website is www.hismansion.com for anyone who wishes to sympathize with me fully.
Of course, my biggest concern right now is getting a roof over my head, and they do work to help get you on your feet again. But in the meantime, I have to deal with people who look at me as a "ministry", who will see me mainly as an unwed mother who needs the Lord.
How on earth am I to convince them that I already "have the Lord" quite nicely, thankyou-very-much? Somehow I think my unusual takes on Christianity aren't about to be embraced with open arms. Especially when I found their opinions on "New Age" teachings. EEEeeeevil! How they will rush to reindoctrinate my polluted mind!
God! I already went through 3 years of this! Will I really have to endure Bible classes again? It was bad enough when I thought I believed the same way as all my teachers, but now it seems intolerable!
And what about my decision to allow my ex to be involved in the process as much as he can handle short of putting myself in danger by depending on him? They'll probably label him a bad influence and ban him from my life.
I'm fucking 25 years old, for crying out loud! I already know what they want to teach me before they even say it! I REFUSE to be molded into their little model of a repentant unwed mother! I'm not repentant!
All I want is a place to live and to be left alone. I will be respectful. I won't leave pentacles lying around, or teach their most valued students to cast a circle. I won't blare my devil music or try to seduce the resident males. I will be grateful for the gift of food and shelter, and the help to regain my stability of home and finances.
But beyond that, I will not go.
I dread it. But what else can I do?
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| Tick, tock, tick, tock... | Login/Create an account | 28 Comments |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by gdlke (-)
on Apr 01, 2002 - 10:52 AM
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My God don't do it!!! Have you done any research on places like that? I can recall reading horror stories about such places. And I am not joking. I read them in the Chicago Tribune. Seriously consider finding another option. And look and see if you can find any information online about this place. I am sorry that I don't have a solution but... I recall some of these single mothers who wishes they would have lived out of shopping carts rather than be subjected to the intense indoctrination.
Gdlke
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:09 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Living out of a shopping cart DOES seem like an attractive solution in comparison, but kind of puts me at risk of having my child taken away from me.
As for research on places like that, I lived at one nearly like it for 3 years! Not exactly the same; it was a Bible School rather than a rehabilitation center, but many of the restrictions and brain-washing tendencies were identical. I barely survived it. No wonder I became a goth! Who could fit in with the "normals" after an education like that! |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Apr 01, 2002 - 11:31 AM
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ewww.... I went and looked at the website, that place is awful... do you have friends you can stay with? I know you don't want to leave New Hampshire, but I'm thinking that there are a lot of people here who would take you in and help you get on your feet, I remember Arthegarn inviting you to go to spain, even... If you came up with rent by the 15th, would that buy you some time to figure out your situation? Perhaps we could take up a collection...
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:13 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | I've been getting rent from town welfare, and that just isn't good enough for Mr. Realtor. (Creepy man with an Amish beard, who gave me a BIIIIGGG hug to let me know how bad he felt about evicting a pregnant girl. Which made me feel very uncomfortable, seeing I was in my jammies with no bra on! Eeeeewwww!)
Anyway, looks like I might have a way out of the situation... |
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don't go
by Poison on Apr 01, 2002 - 11:33 AM
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I took a look at the site you mentioned and I have to ask you: ARE YOU 100% SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
I understand your situation and all but I'm sure there must be better places than that. I mean... "His Mansion Ministries is a community of Christians using Biblical counsel to help dysfunctional young adults", that I got off the first page and if that's not enough, I got this from the section called "pregnant women in crisis":"The program focuses on life change through faith in Jesus Christ and Christian discipleship. The gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of all that we do." I saw a slideshow filled with cows and korn.
Life change? Dysfunctional young adults?
I think I've made my point.
Oh yeah, and the picture on the first page is a sketch of a sheep.
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Re: don't go
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:16 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Yeah, I'm sure I could have a lot of fun with those cows!!!
I suppose I could go as a ministry to those dysfunctional fundamentalists...
You should have seen the brochure. It mentioned disciplining... wonder what that means? |
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re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Shadowman (shadeofme@jippii.fi)
on Apr 01, 2002 - 09:01 PM
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Well, if I were you, I wouldn't do it. I just checked their website and I'm littlebit shocked. Pages full of ( I'm not sure is this right word ) not-so-clever propaganda about their community. Okay, okay, I'm sure they have good intensions and goals, but still it makes me think whether laugh or cry. "Our Vision is to rescue the perishing, and to disciple and equip people to enter the harvest field and be effective laborers for the kingdom of God." This is their vision? *tsk* So, is their ultimate goal to help people to feets again and then offer some more "protection"? Most people are still so nice and kind, that they feel that it's the only way to pay back hospitality and join 'em and become content workers kept in order by the Bible.
But anyway, don't do it. I'm sure that there's always another place to go. If you could stay with your friends or relatives for a while, it would help at least some. And I don't know how the systems work there and please don't get this as offence, but would it be a considerable option to contact social workers? I'm quite sure that with their help you can find satisfying solution. And don't give up!
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re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:20 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Hell, I GOT this place from the social workers! But the more I find out about it, the scarier it gets! Definitely a last resort, and not much preferable to sleeping in my car.
If I went, I would be constantly torn between wanting to play by the rules since they were giving me free room and board, and making their lives miserable by challenging everything and making them work damn hard for every bit of attempted indoctrination!
Yeah, and maybe teaching the inmates how to use the tarot... |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by darclight (an_impression_of_sound@yahoo.com)
on Apr 01, 2002 - 09:07 PM
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That place sounds pretty sketchy.
Anyway, if you find yourself in a pinch and just need a place to chill and regroup, I actually live four / five hours northeast of you (I think--according to your member profile). So that's an option if you want / need it.
Feel free to email me if that sounds like an idea.
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:24 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Thanks awfully!
I used to live in Maine as a kid - York county, by the ocean. Loved the place. But it looks like another option is opening up - thank all the gods that be!!! |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Apr 01, 2002 - 11:15 PM
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OH Schitz, please please please don't go there...
Contact a social service place and find subsidised housing, go stay with a friend, hell moving back with your family is a more suitable thing to do than this....
Unless...
Of course, if I had no ties, I would be a wandering integrator...I would worm my way into churches and eat them out from the inside or at least make myself to be a "presentable lamb of god" just for the fun of treachery and deciet. But you know me.
Seeming how you already stated you don't wanna cause trouble, I think your best option is putting up with the family until you can figure out what to do.
It's HIS mansion afterall...it's just a front for a brainwashing center that lures in the poor, derilect, and hopeless people that need help, not god.
They need a place to stay, not brainwashing.
Look up social services, shop for rental places online (http://www.rent.net) and section 8 housing and get help, not surrender to the most convenient vulture.
Yucky yucky place...I dont' like "his" mansion...reeks like zombies and sacrificial lambs.
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:29 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Unfortunately, subsidized housing has an almost interminable waiting list here. I wouldn't be able to get a place until well after the baby was born.
I agree with you. Definitely zombies and sacrificial lambs. And I'm not cut out to be a little lambkin! (Maybe a zombie, though. Hmmm, sounds nicely sinister...)
The more I find out and the more I think the less I want to be there. I think I'd rather walk across the country, eating weeds and bearing my child by the side of the road than subject myself to their oh-so-tender mercies! It makes you wonder what makes them decide to let go of you once they have their nassssssty little claws in you? When THEY feel that your life is sufficiently on course? *shudder* |
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But... That's not what you need...
by Arthegarn on Apr 02, 2002 - 02:41 AM
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Schizo, my sweetest, why are you going there? That's not what you need. I have skipped through the page and it begins by talking about dysfunctional young adults. You are not dysfunctional, and henceforth you need not that kind of help. You do not "suffer from a variety of spiritual, emotional, and / or behavioral problems". You are pregnant and have very little money, that's all. Perhaps you should leave all that clear to them when you enter, for the sake of honesty...
Abd why do you bother about people looking you as "ministry"? Let them look at you as they want to and ignore them! You're a goth! You should be used to that! Just rationalize it. You are an unwed mother, and that's a fact. A fact you are not going to hide nor anything. None of it is your "fault", that's not how you planned things, you didn't throw yourself in the arms of Satan or anything! All they can tell you about is breaking the 6th. You have two roads here, either lie as a whore and say you know you sinned and also know that God has already forgiven you so there is nothing more to talk about; or discuss that you have sinned. I anticipate strong resistance here. According to Catholic doctrine you have not, but a rigid, fundamentalist interpretation as the one I guess you'll find will get you into quote duel...
And I don't see any prblems about being looked to as ministry. I am many times, and I look at people as ministry most of the time (sorry fellas). So what? Let they look at me as they will, they will have a rough time getting between me and Abba. As for needing the Lord... don't we all? Don't they? Turn their talks around, speak as one who has authority and others will listen and be surprised.
Remember the tolerance issue. They may be just well intentioned people as many catholics are who really think that oif you do not embrace the One True Church you will roast in hell. Just remember how closed their wiews are, and how blessed you are because yours are not. Don't be closed, think of it as if you could learn as much from them as they can from you (there is always something to learn), and then sit at a table as equals and see who teaches who. You are not to convince them of anything, if they want to talk to you let them talk to you and then keep what's worth and disregard the rest. They have a right to think they are right and you're not (so do you) and, though I am against proselytism and do not practice it, I understand those who do. Let them rush to reindoctrinate your polluted mind and crush at its walls of faith and reason!
Then, of course, I don't know how are Bible classes up there. I really enjoy them the way we do them... And I don't know how are Charity institutions: I am not familiar with any Christian charity institution besides Caritas (well, yeah, an Evangelist one, but much modeled after Caritas and most of the time working side by side). Isn't using someone's problems as an advantage to indoctrinate them unfair? Caritas helps people without asking anything, without indoctrinations or bible talks. Actually, as numbers go, they help more Muslims than Christians. They give testimony by example, just as Jesus did, never caring whom did He heal, romans, publicans, sinners... That's the only true way, not brainwashing.
From my humble and completely different experience all I can offer is the thought that, if I was in your position I would not have a problem. What are they going to do? Teach me? Talk me about the Bible and God's love? Well, perhaps I could learn something, and these are my favourite topics of conversation. Most likely I talk circles around them, and I'll wager you do, too. Worse that could happen is getting bailed out becouse I was turning people to Catholicism (hehehe).
When I think that here (Christian) unmarried mothers here are put as an example of illumination and God's love... And all you are going through... Get all my love and my prayers, sweetie. You are strong and will go through anything.
Read the rest of this comment...
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Re: But... That's not what you need...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:04 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | I called up the place yesterday and discovered the appalling fact that
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE PLACE WHILE YOU ARE IN THEIR PROGRAM!!!
Also, you are not allowed to have visitors, except for whoever is sponsoring you, and your immediate family.
Pretty much, their program is geared towards the drug-addict type whose life is so messed up that they need to be locked away and straightened out. That's not me, but they definitely wouldn't make any allowances for me.
Quite obviously their objective is to rehabilitate, especially spiritually. Normally, I could laugh it off and get into great and terrible theological debates. After all, I probably know the chapter and verses better than they do, and I've probably thought out my position better. But in my "delicate condition", I just don't feel like dealing with it. Not to mention the prison camp-like isolation. Hell! I nearly went out of my mind not having my car for 2 weeks! How on earth would I survive 3 months in a Christian concentration camp?
The only reason I was considering it was there really weren't any other options available to me. Subsidized housing has a huge waiting list. I really don't have many friends who would have a place to put me.
And everything in me revolts against the notion of moving to PA with my parents. Almost more than being imprisoned and preached at. |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by whitedove (jaroddove@doveworksentertainment.com)
on Apr 02, 2002 - 11:09 AM
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If you could travel to where I'm at I could give you a job at my store and there are income based apartments here too. That is one thing you could do...
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:34 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Travelling (except maybe to my parents in PA) doesn't really seem to be much of an option, since it cost money I don't have. Not to mention the thought (even to PA) stresses me out even more than being evicted. And for some illogical reason my hormone-driven mind has become fixated with the idea of staying in NH. Especially in the area so I can keep the same hospital. I just can't seem to face the idea of changing EVERYTHING in my life at once! Oh how I crave stability now! If only just ONE THING would stay put for ONE SECOND! *sigh* |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by whitedove (jaroddove@doveworksentertainment.com) on Apr 03, 2002 - 09:18 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | It would be a trip to OH to work for me.
Maybe you need to start completely from scratch in order to build something stable. Soon you will be without home, anything you build on that will change again when you do get a home - so stablility will have to wait... I hope you keep us updated on what all happens.
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Riggy (ArcheryGirl@juno.com)
on Apr 02, 2002 - 04:41 PM
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Want the advice of a secular girl thinking of going Wicca? DON'T DO IT!!!!!!! The place looks awful.... stupid as it sounds, i've always been afraid of Christian churches for as long as i can remember. If you're like me, the "God-talk" will drive you nuts.
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:44 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | I've always been involved with Christian churches for as long as I can remember. Stopped going only a couple of years ago. And yes, the "God-talk" drove me nuts. Sometimes it seems that the people who talk about him the most, understand him the least.
Why do the people who serve God like this always seem so stiff and uncomfortable? That bothers me more than the actual disagreements I have with their theology! If they only could behave naturally in their faith, I would have a lot more confidence in them, but when it seems so strained, it seems obvious to me that something is out of place.
My personal opinion is that it isn't God that is the problem, it's the whole Christian religion with it's traditions that is stressing these people out. Life is hard enough without having to follow a lot of extra guidelines.
Not to mention the fact that they seem so bound up in whether "the world" sees them as behaving like proper Christians, as if that would ruin their "witness"! It seems to me that most people are more attracted to Christians that you can't pinpoint immediately by their unusual traits. Just as long as those people aren't breaking the true rules, like fair play and honesty and genuinely caring about other people.
Most Christians get stressed out over nothing, and they think it's so important, and that stresses me out! Especially when they start expecting me to act the same way!
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 08:54 PM
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OK. I want everyone to heave a BIG sigh of relief with me, on the count of three. Ready?
1... 2... 3... *SIGH!!!!*
I'm not going to have to go to His Prison after all! My dear friends and surrogate family (on whose computer I am now typing) have offered to let me stay with them as long as I need to! The mother used to run a daycare, and she's not going to be working this summer, so I'll get a baby-sitter as well as shelter! Their daughter, my best friend, who has been in Japan, is coming back to the US for a while to go to school, so she'll be there for the end of my pregnancy and will see the baby! And their 2 youngest sons are like my little brothers, and have pretty much the same taste in music that I do. The one big bummer is I'll have to give up my kitty, but to make things even better, I'm going to be just one town over from my hospital, within reasonable distance from my baby's father, and I'll have a place to store all my things!
Hip, hip, hooray!
What a relief! What a load off my mind! I'm on cloud nine! I KNEW I didn't have to worry about things! I KNEW things would work out! Maybe I had to contemplate being shut away in His Alcatraz to fully appreciate this release.
Now, just to pack and clean! *UGGHHH*
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 10:08 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Actually, I AM getting some back - after they subtract filling up the oil tank and I split it with my ex. But believe me, it's not going to be a spit-and-polish job. A couple swipes at the nastier surfaces and a quick vacuum and I'm gonzo! |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 02, 2002 - 10:13 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Now there's an idea... at least he can help, maybe with the moving, too, expecially if his dying truck cooperates. After all, I shouldn't be lifting those heavy boxes, now should I? |
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Schizo on Apr 04, 2002 - 07:24 PM
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I just got the application for this place in the mail yesterday. I thought you might enjoy hearing some choice tidbits from it.
From the application itself:
Three of the things they seem to think necessary to know about you are:
1. Have you ever been involved in a homosexual experience? If yes, explain.
2. Have you had any exposure to pornography? If yes, to what extent?
3. Have you ever been involved in a cult or involved in occultic activities? If yes, please explain.
The first two are included under the "health" section of the application, along with questions about drug problems and sexual abuse. Quite obviously, homosexuality or a taste for pornography are considered "sicknesses" that need to be "cured."
A basic rule book is also included. Here are some choice examples of the restrictions imposed on the residents of His Mansion.
Only certain Christian music, classical, and instrumental music is allowed. You may only bring 6 CD's, subject to approval by the staff, but you may not bring a CD player.
Only 6 books allowed, also under approval of the staff. All other reading material must be checked out of the His Mansion library. No secular magazines.
Objects relating to the "occult" or "New Age" are forbidden. (I wonder if my bell that I use pretty often would be forbidden? Or just things that are obviously "occult". I don't think they quite know what they are getting into with that rule. They'd have to end up banning just about everything!)
No body-piercing, dyed hair or "extreme" hairstyles, and no clothing that identifies with what they would consider a negative part of your past life. (Sorry, no gothic clothing! I wonder if they'd even let me wear black?)
Avoid arguments. (What the staff says is right, I guess, so disagreement and debate is out of the question!)
All money gets turned into the Senior Mentor, and spending money is allocated and monitored by the room Interns. (Although, since you aren't allowed to leave the campus, what good, or harm, is money anyway?)
And then there's the whole isolation bit. Only 20 minutes of phone calls a week, which may be monitored. No visitors for a month, then only one visit a month from either your sponsors or your immediate family. You must be with a Staff member at all times (not just during visits.) Letters and packages must be opened in the presence of a Staff member.
These are just a few of the more spectacular rules. There are many more (including the "if you do not work you cannot eat" one, indicating that you may be starved into good behavior.) Alot of them scare me, since they seem to be open to some pretty severe abuse. Not that I think they necessarily ARE abusing their powers unduly, just that the possibility seems frighteningly open.
Plus the whole extremely evident fact that their goal is to indoctrinate. Not just to create strong and healthy people, but to create obedient and submissive Christians.
I am SOOOOOOO glad that I'm not going to end up there! I don't need to be spiritually rehabilitated, thank you very much!
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Re: Tick, tock, tick, tock...
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org)
on Apr 05, 2002 - 05:50 AM
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Christian shelters are exactly what inspired your state's fine motto.
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