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Articles: Is Goth Genitic?
Posted by NightSide on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 04:52 AM PST

Questions
I am 46 been what is now called 'goth' since I was a kid. Black has always been my color, and freedom my creed. My first car at 15 was a 54 Caddy Hearse with a coffin in the back that I used to sleep in sometimes, at first to piss my parents off but I found it very comfortable and handy on road trips later on.... I have some funny stories about some of those too.
But to my point..... At one point in my life I was married to this VERY uptight chick, big mistake and it did notlast. We had a bitter divorce that ended with me being disallowed any custody or visitationof my daughter. They did not approve of my 'goth' lifestyle, a tattooed freak that acts like some sort of vampire was her lawyers quote best as I remember. So the last contact I had with my daughter was when she was 1 year old. Not enough to shape her life I would think.

So last week, Friday 13th, I had just gotten back from getting this wild vampire tattoo on my sholder, I drive up the drive way and see these two strangers sitting on my back steps waiting for me to come home. The chick, dressed all in BLACK looking goth as hell and vagely fmiliar in some way walks up and asks my name. I tell her Jesse James why? She looks at me hard and puts out her hand and says 'Hi DAD, I am Jennifer James, your doughter.' There she stands. GOTH just like me..... Her boy friend tells me that he tried to talk her out of wearing black but she insisted as it was her way, and why be phoney.... Then I show up dressed as I always do in black..... We start to get to know eachother, her favorite thing is vampire lit and vampires in general, (I don't profess to be a vampire but I have been accused of such on occassion), goth and a true freedom lover. The more we talk the more I hear my own thoughts echoed, just like twins I would start a thought/sentence and she finishes it for me, too freaky..... Even our palm prints (for those of you into that) are so close to identical you need a loope to see much difference but for size.

Now her mom and step dad were anti goth so was/is her half sister so it didn't come from them and they did all they could to make sure she didn't take after me, but it seems thatthe more they tried to crush what was me out of her the more like Dad she became till whenwe met (she is nearly 19 now) she grrew up to be so much like me that it freaks me out a bit and leads me to wonder..... Is it genetic? Who knows, all I know is that we the UNBOWED goths of this world have another in our ranks! I always have LOVED Friday 13th's it has always been my lucky day, the last one was the best I have ever had, like as not will go down in my book as one of the happiest days of my life. A VERY Kewl friday 13th in deed! Had to put Radiofyre (my little goth pirate FM stereo station) on and rock Hells Canyon to GREAT tunes all night!!!!

Stay Dark!
Jesse - NightSide


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Is Goth Genitic? | Login/Create an account | 15 Comments
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Re: Is Goth Genitic?
by Maranda (saboneta@aol.com)
on Jul 23, 2001 - 05:55 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
I don't know if Goth can be genetic, but I have a different theory. You say that your ex was "uptight". By that, do you mean that she decided that there was only one way to think, talk, behave and relate to the world? Did she refuse to acknowledge anything that didn't fit neatly into her image of how the world should be?

You say that your ex tried to "crush what was [you] out of her". In psychological terms, that's called disowning the shadow. It means that some people simply refuse to acknowledge anything that doesn't fit with the image they want to keep of themselves, or in this case, of their families.

The problem with this, as you have observed, is that the disowned traits don't just disappear. They can't simply be "crushed". They always find expressions somewhere.

Your ex's choice of you for a husband was the first example I see of her "shadow traits" sneaking out. She chose a mate who was represented everything she didn't want to see in herself. It makes sense that her child would become another vessel for those same traits.

There could be some karmic issues as well. Perhaps when your daughter was concieved, that particular soul became your child because she had some karmic issues in common with you.

Anyway, congratulations on the reunion! I'm sure that you and Jennifer will become good friends. Best of luck!


Re: Is Goth Genitic?
by Meranda_Jade (scurtis510@home.com)
on Jul 24, 2001 - 01:36 AM
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Wow, that sounds so much like my story, cept I was on the other end of it... I grew up, knowing I had a father out there, but for some odd reason my mom wanted me to have no contact with him... I was spacy, a little irresponsible growing up, told I was lazy and scattered... I was also told that my dad was the type of person who'd play daddy for a little while and them go away, leaving a broken-hearted little kid... When I was 20, I met my Dad... he was ridiculously easy to find, just looked in a few phone books, and called him up one day... Turned out that, not only did I look a lot like him, he was exactly me in personality... a bit scattered, but such a good-hearted person... we hit it off immediately... but I turned out to be not such a good daughter, I didn't keep in contact with him, though I love him dearly, and am glad to know him, I just haven't taken the time to pursue a more meaningful relationship... it would probably be different if I'd grown up with him as my "Dad"... he tried so hard to be a father to me once we'd met, but I'd outgrown the need for a Daddy by then... I was a mother myself by then, and had my life to live, and lots of things on my mind... I never did take the time and effort necessary to make a more meaningful relationship. And I do feel badly about it.... Anyway, getting back to the topic of this post, personality is definitely genetic... I have no doubt about that... for years, I'd felt I was adopted or something, until I met my Dad, then I realized where I'd come from... I got most of me from him...


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