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Lemmings on Parade: Wee wee wee all the way home |
Posted by
feralucce on Sunday, May 02, 2004 - 12:07 AM PST
This last week has featured a great deal about urine. You heard me, piss. First, I was propositioned for water sports. I don't wanna pee on anyone, but that is beside the point. Second, a friend showed me video from a modern swiss spa. You guessed it. They were pissing on this girl. Finally, yesterday on our local rock station the answer to a trivia question was piss. The romans used to have a tax on piss. It seems that fate wants me to do a piece on piss. So this is it.
Urine seems, in the past to have been a fantastic medicinal ingredient. The uses for it have been around almost as long as we have, evidently.
In India, the holy writings call urine “the nectar of the gods” and “the fountain of youth.” These writings have inspired many to drink the stuff. As a matter of fact, they still practice this today.
The chines believe that any medicinal herb, when mixed with urine can more than double the potency of these medicines. This mixture is applied to open wounds or taken orally.
The Egyptians drank it, stared at it (urinalysis), bathed in it and rubbed it on themselves. All of these uses, again, were medicinal. An early pregnancy test requires that you soak barley seeds in the urine of the woman. If it sprouted, she is pregnant. I am not sure as to the accuracy of this test, but they used it.
Romans used urine so widely that they actually taxed it. Ulcer sufferers were convinced that imbibing the fluid would cure their ills. Taking showers in urine was also a popular skin treatment. The ammonia in urine is excellent at getting wool white as well.
During the middle ages, the substance become even more diverse in its usage. In Germany, the urine of a young man, when boiled with honey, is used to treat a plethora of eye maladies. In england, warm urine was rubbed into their hands and legs to prevent the shakes after a night of drinking. Mixing it with saffron and gargling with it was used as a cure for throat inflammation. The trench felt that drinking our first piss of the day on an empty stomach was a cure for swelling and jaundice as well.
In the 19th century, most of the enlightened medical practitioners of the time felt that urine was a miracle drug. And some of todays modern practitioners feel that the cures for most of what ails us is in the toilet.
Here are a few interesting facts that modern science has provided us with
1)Contrary to popular belief – Urine is not a toxic waste product.
2)Most of urine (95% in fact) is water. 2.5% is urea (the waste product). 2.5% is enzymes, minerals and hormones.
3)Urea can be poisonous in large amounts – but - in small amounts (such as what is contained in urine) will actually purify the body, clear up excess mucus and is goo for the skin.
4)Urine contains antibodies. You read that right, antibodies. When re ingested, these antibodies can help fight off illness.
5)Urine is COMPLETELY sterile and has an antiseptic effect.
So... after reading all that... are you ready for a nice tall glass?
Me Neither.
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Average Rating : 3.7
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Wee wee wee all the way home | Login/Create an account | 15 Comments |
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Re: Wee wee wee all the way home
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on May 02, 2004 - 08:13 AM
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I would just like to see the first person that anyone ever tried to "test" the wee wee theory on. I know in asia that female crocodile urine was the main ingredient in the first birth control pill. Don't ask me how they collected it. I'm thinking if you see an asian man with no fingers and half a face you're seeing a female crocodile wee wee collector.
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Re: Wee wee wee all the way home
by IamSquid (undisclosed)
on May 02, 2004 - 10:49 AM
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I always liked the urban myth about the guy who peed directly onto a urinal cake. The amonia in the pee supposedly reacted with the chlorine inthe urinal cake producing chlorine gas and he died (I guess he was locked in the stall or something).
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Re: Wee wee wee all the way home
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on May 03, 2004 - 09:20 PM
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Dude...that article was great, so great I pissed myself...no seriously.
The fucked up part is now I've seemed to become a sterile alligator, free of all diseases and afflictions, but now deeply in debt and most assuredly not pregnant...fuck...
heh heh...rock Feral. Rock like a hot-toddy with some tinkle-sprinkles thrown in for flavor.
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Re: Wee wee wee all the way home
by callei on May 04, 2004 - 05:50 AM
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I thought this one was good clean (?) weirdness and, as school is winding and summer is getting started, I thought we needed a bit of silliness.
Thanks feral.
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