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bettie_x's birthday. Spoil her.
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| Mistress Manners: Think before you chat |
Posted by
callei on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 01:21 PM PST
I can tell its spring break because I am getting messages from bored teenagers that want me to entertain them. Bad manners and thoughtless, angry begging always annoy me. It is too bad they are so dull and needy. I got this one yesterday and thought I would share it with you all so that you can correct your own chat manners or see a new way of scraping these kids off your screen.
I have replaced its name with " bored and desperate" since that makes sooo much more sense that what it was on my screen, and I have replaced my nickname with " Mistress of Manners" because I thought it was funny. So on to the mess this poor beggar made of his time on my screen:
bored and desperate kid on break : have we talked?
(Like its my job to keep track of its social life)
Mistress of Manners: i dont know have we?
(Giving it a chance to say something less dazed)
bored and desperate kid on break : what part of town are you in
( Now why ask this when you don’t even know who you are talking to? And why would I tell this rabid little tyke?)
bored and desperate kid on break : dunno
(ah! It admits that it has no idea who it is talking to or why! Or that is what I am guessing from this word.)
Mistress of Manners: then chances are we havent
(Here I am being truthful. Chances are that I have never met this person either in real life or online. I avoid people that are this repetitive and needful)
bored and desperate kid on break : are you in new orleans?
(Here we go again. Why does it matter if it just wants to chat? It doesn’t, it only matters if it wants me to give up an afternoon to go play with it somewhere near by. And as you can see, its given me no reason to want to play with it.)
bored and desperate kid on break : do you have two profiles
(I thought this one was a strange question or proof that it thought it was talking to someone else. Somehow it looked at one profile then messaged me instead of the person it was intending. I have no idea how this could happen, but I will give it the benefit of the doubt.)
Mistress of Manners: where would i know you from?
(I try to introduce the idea of conversation as compared to petty demands.)
bored and desperate kid on break : from here I guess
(This is vague at best. Does it mean from this one conversation? From yahoo? From some other chat program? Is it telling me that it is "one" with my computer and that is how it know it? Clarity is so important in the written word.)
bored and desperate kid on break : are you in new orleans?
(I politely side stepped this question before but it failed to notice that I was not answering its questions. It apparently wanted to interrogate me to amuse itself. As far as I know I was not put on this planet just to amuse some bored kid on Monday in April.)
Mistress of Manners: and why would you be talking to me?
(I want to know, not what it is thinking, but IF it is thinking. That makes a difference with how you get rid of them. Also I wanted to know what passed for a reason in its head to be talking to me of all the people out there that day.)
bored and desperate kid on break : cause u are pretty
(I use contractions and slang when I am chatting to so I cant hold that against it, but I am not flattered by it's idea that I am pretty because it is bored.)
So far all this person has told me about themselves is that they are bored and that they want to know where I live because they want to try to have sex with me. (where are you, you are pretty, and the very fact that they were trolling the pool of people online at 2 in the afternoon on a Monday.) Not that it has actually told me this but these are the most logical assumptions from the data that I have. It could be a space alien that wants to know where to land to drop of the cure for cancer and chose me because I look like its dear old birth-being and it is homesick, but that seems less likely to me.
Mistress of Manners: can you think of a reason for me to talk to you? Is there anything about which we would talk?
( I give it a chance to come up with some reason for me to amuse it. I thought this was generous of me. )
bored and desperate kid on break : well, married life?
( What a strange choice this is! Its either going to ask me if I get enough sex in my marriage or its going to tell me about its lack of sex in its marriage. Or if it is a space alien, its going to ask me about the human convention of marriage as practiced in the United States.)
bored and desperate kid on break : how long have you been married?
Mistress of Manners: this sounds rude, but i havent time to reword it. why would i care about some total stranger's married life?
bored and desperate kid on break : how long have you been married?
(So more personal information being elicited with no reciprocation. Again, this is interrogation not conversation. This doesn’t seem like the best way to find out about marriage habits in the United States or to get me to go to bed with it. And no, this doesn’t count as taking an interest in my life. I didn’t ask it to be interested in me.)
bored and desperate kid on break : dont you like to meet new friends?
(what does this have to do with my question? Nothing right?)
This is a form of social black mail. The "logic" being something like this: good people have lots of friends. This proves they are good people. I am offering to be your friend theyby letting you be a good person. If you say no then you are a bad person with no friends and you don’t want that do you? This is a power game and while I am all for power exchange games, I believe they can only happen consensually. Otherwise, it’s a form of attempted rape. I'm not fond of rapists of any sort.
Mistress of Manners: you arent actually being friendly. you are being nosy and intrusive and evasive
(It is fun to tell the truth! Also this way it knows how I am perceiving its communication and has a chance to change its method, apologize, ignore me, or continue to bore me if it isn’t smart enough to understand small sentences with easy words. Guess what….)
bored and desperate kid on break : ok (I guess this counts as an apology? Does it just believe everything that it reads? Now I am leaning back to the space alien theory again)
bored and desperate kid on break : waht would YOU like to discuss
(this may seem like the right answer, but strangely, it is not. This is making it my problem to amuse it again. I have not implied that I want to "discuss" anything or that I even want to talk to it. The emphasis on the word "you" makes the connotation negative and like it is giving in and "letting" me have my way. The fact is that I am being nice and letting it talk to a pretty girl while it is bothering me while I work. I am the one capitulating, not it.)
Mistress of Manners: bye now.
(I am done being nice to the poor bored tyke. )
bored and desperate kid on break : what a bitch
(it is making one more play for my attention by attacking me. This is something that very abused toddlers do to since they know they can get attention, even if it is negative attention, by hitting someone else.)
Mistress of Manners: that is what i thought. go play with someone your own age that is also bored on spring break
(Other teenagers might put up with this kind of emotional abuse from strangers and might even be able to see some redeeming quality in it, like the fact that it will give them attention. See toddler example above.)
Mistress of Manners: i wonder if you have bothered to ignore me yet? in future when messaging someone you might try asking them if they have time to talk, if they have ever read/seen/hear of some band/book/movie, or say something about their profile. you can also try to refrain from asking things that are just yes no questions so as to develop conversation.
(I was in a nice mood and was still pitying the poor bored space alien or teenager or whatever it was.)
If you want to start a conversation with someone that you have never met and with whom you have nothing concrete in common (belonging to the same club, office, class, bands, books, movies, some political group, a formal introduction from a friend, or even a religion) then try saying hello first. Try asking them if they are busy. Try to remember that you are calling them the same way that the long distance companies call them, with no warning and asking something of them. Try to give them some reason to talk to you. For example: "I saw on your profile that you like that shmeng site too." Or "I'm on spring break, how about you?". Do you see that they both offer some information about yourself? That you are taking the same risk that you are asking them to take?
Think before you chat. Or I will give this space alien YOUR ID.
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Average Rating : 4.0
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| Think before you chat | Login/Create an account | 17 Comments |
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Re: Think before you chat
by Sticupus (sticupus@hotmail.com)
on Apr 23, 2003 - 08:47 PM
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http://www.obolisk.com
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I remember distinctly when I made my first comment on shmeng. I had a sad but typical teen male attitude of trying to alpha-male someone intellectually, and was quite rude. I am used to belonging to Modern Satanic web communities, and I was just playing out the same old game I was used to. You disciplined me, and did it quite well- no petty insults or pointing out my inadequacies, just a crushing mind force. It helped me quickly learn the hierarchy, the appropriate attitude to hold and atmosphere here on shemng. I quite enjoyed it actually, being corrected helps me learn.
And the most important thing I learned, and the first thing from with web site was- Be respectful, these people don't need my crap (unless they deserve it) and don't fuck with Callie.
I only hope other teens can take my example. I enjoyed that post very much, thank you.
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Re: Think before you chat
by Anya (Enternamehere@enterhosthere.net)
on Apr 23, 2003 - 10:11 PM
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http://kirashi.envy.nu/index2.html
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I try to be nice and polite in my messages to people. As for the forums here, I do best to sound like opinionating things than trying to shove things down someone's throat. Guess some people have different things of intrepreting things in that fashion. I'm not one who wants to cause trouble, but I'm sure I may have my own errors.
The session reminds me of the time when I disagreed with the opinion of someone. They jumped on me and insisted that I was prejudice. Hehe...didn't think it was a crime to have different opinions. Reason why the session reminded me of such is you didn't agree to have a conversation with the person and they threw the fit. :)
Don't know much to say about the person except I think they should have brushed on you more politely than trying to shove themself onto you. Really do not understand the "bitch" comment - seemed they just needed something to attempt to cover their own problems.
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Re: Think before you chat
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Apr 24, 2003 - 01:13 AM
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http://bettie_x.tripod.com/
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C how come YOU get all the fun idiot teenagers? I swear to hell they flock to you or something...
What do I get if I accidentally turn on my "available" icon on messenger? I get middle eastern men trying to woo me for greencards, foot fetishists begging for my shoe size, and old icky men wanting to let me know about the raging hard-on that they have right in front of their cam right at that moment...and that I MUST SEE IT.
Oh, and if anyone ever uses the SUPER loud dingdong function on the yahoo messenger, STOP IT. It's irritating. If I am ignoring you it's for a REASON and it makes my dog bark for 15 minutes straight.
And C, it's very very common to get the " ur a bitch" bit when you politely but strongly terminate a conversation. I had a guy that was double dog daring me to turn on my cam and flash my boobies who insisted I was a prude, insecure, and at last, a bitch. I told him that I very well could be any or all of those things, especially the latter, but one thing I was not was desperate or retarded as seemed it was in his case.
Oh, and as for teenagers, thanks to michael's marauding and masquerading as big bad bettie, there is at this very moment a teenager on muckleshoot hill who wants to stick his tounge between my toes. Fun shit.
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Re: Think before you chat
by PowerSlave (Devilfist16@aol.com)
on Apr 24, 2003 - 05:19 PM
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So, like I was bored on spring break and I tried to make small talk with this person on my other other screen name and they told me to go play with someone my own age that is also bored on spring break, whats with that? All I wanted to know was their married life and If they were interested in making new friends. Lol, just kidding. But seriously, As being a teenager myself I sadly see this conversation go between two people (even in public places) all the time. Common people, try harder to find cheap sex and make friends, what ever happened to the "courtly love system" of the olden days, or that one thing,... whats it called,.. oh yeah "some sense."
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Re: Think before you chat
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolfathotmaildotcom)
on Apr 27, 2003 - 11:59 PM
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http://Xaoswolf.tripod.com
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I actually just recently stopped getting those damn ASL messages 5 times a day.
Now, those were quite annoying.
I finally updated my profile to say, "IF you can't thin of anything other than ASL to say, then go away."
Which prompted someone to bitch me out because I don't lie getting asked ASL. The weird part, was that the girl that did that, was already on my buddy list because we used to talk all the time.
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Fools without fear of the consequences.
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on Apr 28, 2003 - 12:30 AM
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The internet ha always amazed and mystified me, the tech-retard I am...and I must admit, I'm still not used to speaking to someone without seeing them face-to-face.
But the internet...man, you can talk to ANYONE, from ANYWHERE...about ANYTHING.
Then why the fuck doesn't someone say something INTELLIGENT!!
Props Callei...this shit was awesome! awesomer than a flying dog!!
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Re: Think before you chat
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.com)
on May 05, 2003 - 05:03 AM
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More or less of the time I would say that anyone who drops in messages me starts out the converstaion with, "so do you want to fuck" generally I manage to bring the converstaion around to "get the fuck out of my face" but usually it amounts to nothing but allot of annoyance on my part. I really despise people sometimes.
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Re: Think before you chat
by BlueLinn (jishin101@yahoo.com)
on May 14, 2003 - 11:46 PM
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http://www.geocities.com/anime_Town/index.html
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I just quit online chatting all together. I became disillusioned from the vast majority of perverted freaks who just want to chat to someone online with that cyber crap so that they can jerk off in their mommy's house and pretend they are someone and somewhere else. ... fun fun... and I wonder how long they will actually remain in school. At my highschool 4 of my friends.. well, really 'aquaintances' dropped out in the last month. I'm surprised some of them even know how to read and write... In the last year about 12 people have dropped out and 4 kids have died in car wrecks in my town from either my highschool or the other highschool in town... makes me wonder...
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