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Humor: Why We Should Eat Animals
Posted by Geist on Thursday, March 13, 2003 - 03:09 AM PST

Politics
Warning: The following article is rated PG-13 for views that may get my ass kicked by tofu.

Surgeon Generals Warning: Smoking may be hazardous to your health, so please don't flame me to bad.

Parental Advisory: Contains language and opinions that you may not like, but it's all in fun. Sarcasm ahead....

And now, our feature presentation. I have heard many people voice their opinions on the wrongs of eating meat. I’ve seen numerous posters, web sites, stickers, etc. proclaiming how bad the general public is for consuming animals. But, if we weren’t meant to eat animals, why do they taste like meat?

I’m not saying that he have to revolt against vegetarianism, just that I see no point in wearing those abrasive shirts and stickers that say “Meat is Murder”. Meat is dinner. Carnivores in the wild hunt prey, brutally rip apart carcasses, and eat other animals. But you don’t hear about a lion being verbally attacked for “murdering” an antelope. Yes, they eat meat because it’s natural for them and they can’t reason not to. Well, the animals they eat can’t reason, either, so why are we so worried about their feelings?

Humans have been hunting and devouring their prey for thousands of years. I don’t remember ever reading about a Neolithic man pausing over his meal and saying, “Hey guys, what about how the animal feels?”

My main point is, animals are stupid. The ones we eat have no higher thinking skills whatsoever. Right before the butcher stuns the steer, it doesn’t get on its knees and plead for its life. The meat we buy at the supermarket and baste in hearty marinade hasn’t been beaten and abused, either. Cattle are born, eat nutritious grass and grain, and one day are blasted with a stunner and die. Not very romantic, but a candlelit steak dinner at a nice restaurant overlooking the sea is.

And tofu—look at it! As a replacement for real vitamins from meat, it’s not that good, and cutting it into the shape of a drumstick won’t make it taste any more like chicken. If vegans want to eat it, let them. But no matter what people say, I won’t be persuaded into putting white creamy chemical curds into my mouth, and I don’t suggest that you do, either.

Green stuff is fine—it’s good for you and tastes great. But what isn’t good it assuming that animals have self-help groups for coping with the loss of their herd-mates. Meat isn’t murder, it’s the flesh if domesticated animals raised for our sustenance.

They don’t know the difference, anyway.


Note: I am posting this against my better judgement.

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Why We Should Eat Animals | Login/Create an account | 135 Comments
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Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Ironboots on Mar 13, 2003 - 08:49 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://dunadan.blogspot.com
Wow, Geist, you've got guts...
And I agree with you that it is perfectly normal to eat meat and to kill for it.

But...
1. Eating meat is pretty inefficient, since you have to have large acreages to sustain the cow, which then sustains you. If that acreage was put to vegetarian uses, it would feed more people. The more farm acres you need, the more forests fall to make room for it.
2. Most of the non-domesticated animals we eat (such as fish) are being hunted to extinction. You don't hear about potatoes being grown to extinction.

I'm a hypocrite. I tell you about this, but I still eat meat anyway. Because meat tastes sooo damn good... Ah, gotta get me some sausage... ;)


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by feralucce on Mar 13, 2003 - 10:41 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://feralucce.vibechild.com
My reasons for eating meat are more basic... we are designed to be omnivors. period... we have the teeth for it, the digestive tract for it, and the violent mentality of the hunter... I don't fight my instincts...

Kudos

Feral


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Psychopixi (psyche-at-psychopixi-dot-com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 01:55 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://psychopixi.com
I agree. Meat is food. Food is good.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with eating meat provided that the animals are raised and then killed in a humane way. Why should we fight our way to the top of the food chain to just eat vegetables? Just because we have the intellect to choose, doesn't mean we are obliged to choose to be vegetarian.

Like you said, animals in the wild eat meat - they don't get hassled for it because they are born predators. We are born omnivores. Yeay for steak and chips.


Hello hamburger my old friend.
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 02:11 PM
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You know...it'd probably be more fun if they did beg for their lives...and reading this post made me want a hamburger, although I doubt it's actually meat.

KIlling I don't have a problem with, torturing I do...thats a sickness inherent in us, and reflects poorly upon our dignity as a species. I had a job for a few days as a cow knocker just recently...it was fun, but I really don't think I could do it again...it's easier and has more meaning to take out a person than it does a cow.


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by VampCourt (Morbidchic@hotmail.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 03:52 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/vampcourt/index.html?1017202482720

"My main point is, animals are stupid."

Um. they are not. who are you to really say how unintelligent they are or not? Pigs in fact are known to be number 6 in the top ten most intelligent animals.

im vegan now, I recently started because from health issues and cruelty twards animals.

Recently i watched a documentry on factory farms that made me in tears. Why you may ask? because the workers shown in this documentry, who had the same opinion about animals being stupid, were anally raping pigs with metal polls (while trapped in thier little tiny pins mind you, so they cant get away) and laughing about it. In fact thats not even the part that made me cry, what made me cry was watching this poor sow with a broken shoulder, being beaten by the same men, They let her get away, and then right when she would lay down to rest or rather it looked like to peacefully die, they beat on her again. and again. Oh ha ha! look how DUMB the pig is!

After being to weak to move, the other man grabbed a cement block and dropped it on her head, twice. This was all in a factory farm, a place were the animals are grown to make you that pork chop that sits on your plate.

so.. to quote you again "The meat we buy at the supermarket and baste in hearty marinade hasn’t been beaten and abused, either. Cattle are born, eat nutritious grass and grain, and one day are blasted with a stunner and die. Not very romantic, but a candlelit steak dinner at a nice restaurant overlooking the sea is. "

Unless your buying free range and organic. your statement is compleatly false. these animals are beaten. starved, raped, tormented, crammed into little pins with no comfort whatsoever. Left to live in thier own shit. literally.

Im not saying you have to be a vegan or vegetarian. Im just saying that alot of people are blind to whats really going on and have alot of false judements on those wonderful "farms".







Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by IamSquid (undisclosed)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 04:19 PM
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I'm a vegetarian though not a militant vegetarian. Militant vegetarians tend to piss mee off, but even more so, militant carnivores piss mee off.

Why? Because it's a fact that it is unnatural for a human to consume meat. If yoo disagree, try comparing a human colon to a carnivereous colon. Big differance! Now try comparing it to an omniverous colon, still a big differance! Now try comparing it to an herbivorus colon, notice any similarities? Our digestive system is not meant to process meat, and has trouble doing such. Thus in the vast majority of cases (there are always exceptions) it is unhealthy for a human to consume dead animals.

Why yoo shouldn't eat meat is because it's unnatural.

Moreso, I am a vegetarian because I don't care for the taste or smell. This is usually what gets militant carnivores to shut up. At that point they usually say, "If yoo were stuck out in the woods and yoo had to eat an animal to live, would yoo?"

Of course, it's entirely unnatural to ignore yor survival instinct. Furthermore, in such a scenario I would most likely be hunting and killing it myself (thus I don't have to support concentration camps...er I mean...farms)

But that's the way I see it and I respect the way yoo see it.


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 04:23 PM
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"This isn't food! This is what food eats!"

I was not thrilled with www.masskilling.com.
I believe PeTA and vegan scare and hostility tactics only make meat eaters more pissed, and when you get pissed, you get hungry.


I am not opposed to cannibalism, especially if I get to eat vegan flesh. *Grin*


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 04:38 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
This is too funny, Geist, I gotta hand it to you, it's nice to see someone sticking up for the meat end of the spectrum. I actually live an almost entirely vegetarian lifestyle. Not because I care about the mistreatment, but because I smell funny to me when I eat meat. Every once in a while I get a craving for animal protein, and I tend to fill it with sardines or smoked oysters.

Quite honestly, at this point I don't think there is anyone left on the site that doesn't know what goes into the whole process of meat production. Thank you Betty and everyone else who has contributed to our knowledge, I mean that, how can we make informed decisions without the full knowledge?

Personally, once we stop discovering the vast number of ways mother nature has designed to keep our population in check and young enough to breed I will feel more inclined to vote on the subject. Yes, meat is toxic, even in it's free range form, yes, so is milk, it's bad for you even when sucked from the wild cow's teat. BUt apple's contain arsenic, rhubarb will kill you in less than 24 hours if prepared improperly, a large portion of our population is allergic to soy, peanuts, strawberries, cumin, apples, legumes, and any number of other natural products. For that matter, oxygen is the most toxic substance we know of...Until there is something I can eat and drink and breathe without it being cancerous, poisonous, or toxic in any other way; I'm not going to be bothered with the 'moral arguments' of whether meat is murder or inefficient or anything else.

As a species humankind is learning to feed itself in a world with a population explosion issue. Until the early seventies we weren't even half our current numbers. The issue of how much land it takes to raise a cow is so moot at this point in the life cycle of grocery shopping that I can't take it seriously. There are honestly a large number of people out there who would flat out die if we were to stop meat production. Withdrawls can be a bitch.

One last point and then I'll step off this wobbly soapbox, we may not be in danger of farming the potato into extinction, but in many cases that is only because it's already been done. Many of the vegetables we currently eat today have been bred into a form their natural predescessors would not recognize enough to cross breed with. Well, OK, that's not true per se, but most plants are so randy they'll breed with anything :)

And on that note, eat well, take two tums and if you call me in the morning I'll smoke and pout at you!


Confessions of an enlightened meateater...
by Anonymous-Coward on Mar 13, 2003 - 05:59 PM
There has been some very good points made from both sides here so I shall try not to repeat too much of them...

That pig farm story was sad - cruelty towards helpless
creatures is hideous no matter what.
Those bastards deserve a life long repetition of their actions turned on them, and that's that.
But it's still no reasing for banning pork production - there are many assholes being cruel to their pets to - I don't think good pet owners should be punished for that.
But did you know, even if a pig might not be as cute as a dog, it's actually sopposed to be smarter? And they sure as hell are a lot more smarter than my darling Pucifer.

Pixie - on of the really shitty things about the EU is their attitude towards animal industry.
This is where the REAL torture enters the picture - when dealing with thinking creatures as industry, and fucking with their genes.
Man, what goes on in the meat industry all over the world - I swear the old nazi scientist/doctors are grinning in their graves.
Cows are being bred so unnaturaly for producing more meat, every moment of their existence is SUFFERING.
Chicken being stuffed in a cubicle not larger than their body volume, to be boiled alive.
Need I go on? I think not. It is certainly NOT funny.

The sad truth is that when commerce takes over, the pennies count.
Even though industrial slaughtering tend to ruin the meat - the chemicals produced by fear (anyone who have heard the screaming of pigs will now this: They DO know fear) do ruin the quality of the meat.

Knowing all this, and more, why do _I_ eat meat?
I grew up on a farm, with pigs, chicken, cows and horses. In the summer they were all outside in the pastures, doing whatever they wanted, running around, and in winter they had warm, comfortable barns with plenty of space. It was a big farm by Norwegian standards, but all the cows had a name, and if a sow (?? mother pig?) refused a piglet to succle, we bottlefed it.

And when it was time for them to go, we waved godbye - for me as a kid it was always a little sad, but they didn't seem to be in any kind of distress.

I helped deliver calves, bottlefed them, named them, played with them, and don't think twice about enjoying a tender veal roast.

I would not eat human flesh though - considering all the crap human put in them.

I know meat is not good for me either - but the tobacco and alcohol I indulge in is way worse.

Oh yes, and the only tofu I've tasted (I'm sure they've come up with a better range in the US) tasted like - NOTHING! And I do love food with good, natural flavour.
Ask Squid about the Norwegian apples - there's nothing like them in the whole world, I swear!

Try to sum up... Personally I don't have a problem with meat production, I do however have a big problem with cruelty.

PS - I also love a good steak of whale. They are cute, and they DO communicate, but all science proves one point: They are not as smart as they're given credit for. Well, I'd eat them anyway. Keeping that old sodden Keiko alive (from Free Willy) would have taken care of the debts of a couple of African nations, no kidding.


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Starlight (elenmea@hotmail.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 10:03 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/nony_one/index.html
I am a member of Peta, but the way I normally do things is to show the facts, and tell what I do personally, and changes I've made, and let each person decide what to do themselves. That is normally, meaning if someone is not torturing or abusing an animal, but if there is something I feel strongly about I might say something or step in or send a postcard to a corporation or member of a committee.

I have most of my life just not eaten much meat, and at one point I decided never to eat meat again. Not drinking milk was easy, as I'm allergic to milk and I drink soy milk. I do, however, eat cheese. I have to watch how much or I get the runs and a stuffy nose and intestinal pains all that goes with being basically allergic to dairy. If I could happen accross something that tastes good as a fake cheese around here, then I'd give up cheese completely. Some of the herbs and almost any capsule I've been given Rx and OTC tend to have gelatin as the capsule, if there's a substitute I try to use it, but it can't be avoided sometimes. My husband tries to eat as little meat as he can, and he's not a big meat eater anyways, but with him being a trucker, he can't find a lot of meat-free meals at the truckstops, etc. and again I let each person make their own decisions on what is right for them.

I don't take offense at people saying that Peta is an extremest organization, because they are actually just that. It's an organization dedicated to educating as many people as they can about many aspects of eating animals, eating animal produced foods, animal abuse, using animal products, and using animal tested products. Their approach is to put it in your face, and then you make your own choice. I think it takes that sometimes just for the awareness factor, as long as it's not violent. I think the majority of people who are members are rather like me, and are either completely vegan or vegetarian, and take my type of approach to things. Just my opinion on that is all.

I read where Geist warns us that this article is all in fun and sarcasm ahead, so that's exactly how I take it, and my comments here are not meant to be taken as me having a problem with him posting a sarcastic article. I just thought it was a chance for me to make a few comments about my own feelings about meat eating.

If possible, I would like it very much if people would take a few moments to read over a particularly disturbing article about "downed cows". Here's the addy: http://www.goveg.com/pdfs/adHil.pdf


The Screams !!!
by Geist (tattooedslacker@yahoo.com)
on Mar 13, 2003 - 10:20 PM
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One thing i hear a lot if vegtables don't scream. Well thats complete BULLSHIT !!! Watch a freakin Veggie Tales video... the horrible, awful screams of Bob the tomato and Larryboy are enough to make me give up eating all together.


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Mar 14, 2003 - 02:32 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/
Geist, was this, perchance, brought up by my comment in the forum that nobody would ever be able to get me near an orgy, let alone an orgy in a tub of "fun flavor, over colored, cute cut shaped, massively sugared, jiggling vat of ground up hoof, bone, and cartilidge?"

LOL.

I know most of it was meant in sarcasm, as most your entries are, so I held off as best I could. I'm understanding your intention, and tho I may occasionally come off as an animal rights psychopath (which I am *cough cough* where'd that pipe bomb go....) my only goal has ever been to make people look the ugly bloody face of the animal products industry eye to eye, fact to fact, and then make an informed decision.
The problem is, most people don't want to see, don't want to think about it, don't want to know, don't WANT to care. That, above all, is what I find disgusting. I've told people about the facts of the animal products industry, and they were flippant and "oh it's not THAT bad"...but then they were showed a tape of what goes on, and they had the same look on their faces that german civilians had when they were shuffled through post war concentration camps. Guilt stricken horror. Because they KNEW...the just didn't want to believe.

Now, to exercise my point as the resident closet eco-terrorist/vegan posterchild, bear with me and either ignore me past this point or read on and just deal with what I got on this issue. This will be lengthy, but to any that read it, it's not my typical "bleeding heart" tirade, but an attempt to debunk typical myths:

"Animals are dumb, that's why we can eat them"~ a quote for you "the question is not can they reason, but can they FEEL"~too lazy to look up the author~
Animals are not dumb, they simply function on a different level that humans do. They know pain, suffering, hunger, sadness, happiness, can identify their own offspring and members of their herd and species, as well as their "territory". Visit a typical meat industry plant and listen to the bellows of a cow who's just had her newborn calf taken away before she's even allowed to touch it. She'll bellow for days, and it's a sad, sad sound. Of course she doesn't understand that her infant is being sent to a veal factory, or what a veal factory is, or why her infant was taken in the first place, but she knows the heartache of it all.

"Humans are carnivores, look at our teeth. We wouldn't have canine teeth if we weren't meant to eat meat"~ Silver back gorillas have, by size/body ratio, the largest canine teeth in the animal world....they are also massive in size, and closely genetically and intellectually related to humans. They subsist solely on a diet of vegetation and roots and fruit. Those big gnarly canines, to which ours are embarassingly inadequate by comparison, exist for the sole purpose of tearing through NOT MEAT, NOT BONE, but tougher vegetation such as hearty saplings and tuber plants. Those big, mean, ghastly, OBVIOUSLY MEAT EATIN LOOKIN canines are for the processing of vegetable matter. These vegetarians are also one of the most gentle and reasonable animals on earth.

"You don't have a problem with wild carnivores killing other animals, so why's it different with us?"~ Uhm, animals in the wild have a fighting chance at survival, and before they are brought down to feed the foodchain, they are living in a natural state. They are free, which has it's advantages and risks, but they are free. Being born into slavery for the certain and ultimate future of slaughter and dismemberment leaves you the fighting chance of an accountant in an ultimate fighting ring with "Mac the Murderer".

"I grew up on a farm and WE didn't torture our animals"~ Good for you! I know Maranda_Jade discussed this with me at one time (and thank you for giving veganism a whack. You reek of true open-mindedness, even if it didn't work out *g

Read the rest of this comment...


Well holy shit....
by Geist (tattooedslacker@yahoo.com)
on Mar 14, 2003 - 04:16 AM
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Hey Bettie, don't hold nuthin back for my sake. What I meant by sarcasam ahead is that this article is NOT how I feel, exactally the opposite. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, the world would just be too damn boring if they did. Besides you can't all be right like me :P Even if ya don't agree with me post whateva ya gotta say. And screw em all if the don't like it :)


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by callei on Mar 14, 2003 - 04:39 AM
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I thought humans were scavangers by digestive track, not meant to eat fresh meat, but rather to gnaw bones.
And for the record, red meat does "cause" more deaths than drunk driving and smoking and illegal drug use (not its related crimes but ODing) all rolled into one cemetary plot.



Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Mar 14, 2003 - 10:11 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Does that cover abortion too?

After all, you're 100 times safer with a drunk stranger than with your own mother..

*stirs that big ole' pot of trouble.*


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by Closetgothbabe on Mar 16, 2003 - 11:54 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://photos.yahoo.com/genevive3121
I am a meat eater, but I do love my fruits and veggies more than meat. Years ago when I was living in Georgia, I heard of a some job openings at this chicken factory of sorts. The pay was incredible for it to be such a small town and the benefits were also really good. I needed a job and so did my best friend-mother in law. We both went and applied and both got the job on the same shift. We get there our first day and here comes this big semi with all these cages driving up to the place with all these chickens crammed into these small cages..poor things. Of course my love for animals kicks in and I start feeling really bad for these chickens cause I know where they are going.

We get into the factory and start working. I was placed up on this big long platform with another lady that was supposed to show me what I was to do. There are these hooks that they hang them from (this is after the killing them part and I mean right after). Below us is this stream of water that when they throw the unwanted parts down into. I am standing there looking down at this stream of I dunno I was trying to figure out what all this was, I started to feel really sick. I must have run to the bathroom like 5 or 6 times at least (ran into my mother in law in there getting sick a couple of times). This all made me sick, not only that it was gross but the thought of what was going on and I didnt feel right about it at all.

There was some chickens that came by that there wings were broken in half, so I asked the lady next to me why there wings were broken like this. She told me why, and this still breaks my heart. When the guys in the back are pulling the chickens outta the cage to hang them on this thing the chickens will try to spur them or something. When they do get the guys (yay go little chickens...wish they would have clawed there eyes out) it pisses them off and they slam them on the hanging hooks by there wings while still alive!!!! This was it for me, I walked out after only 5 hours of working and quit, so did my mother in law.

The only reason I am telling this is cause I do eat meat but the way they do this is just not right at all!!! I couldnt eat meat for about a year or more after that. I still eat meat but not as much, the taste has never been the same and I know its just a mental thing for me but I cant see hurting animals this way. On farms its so different, I grew up on a farm with my grandparents. We didnt eat our chickens though cause we had laying hens so it was only the eggs we wanted. We got our meat from other people that raised livestock there and they got veggies from us. I dont know if I could become a vegatarian or not but when I do eat meat I dont eat alot of it. When I was growing up thats just how we ate....lots of differnt vegatables and just a little piece of meat ::shrugs:: it suits me fine cause I love my vegtables.

I respect other people in there decisions on this and it doesnt bother me either way. Bettie and I have talked about it before, she has never freaked cause I eat meat...hehe.


Re: Careful what you chomp
by Domkitten (domkittenish@spanking.com)
on Mar 18, 2003 - 07:49 AM
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You must be most careful in Korea when eating meat. I have had the unpleasant experience of having walked through several Korean markets where you could find nicely butchered and cleaned dog on one corner, and on the other buggies full of buggies (silkworm larva). Both of which turn my nose if not my stomach. I'm a vegetarian by choice, usally because no one else is going that way, but thank the good gods I'm veggie in Korea. It is so easy to just say, no meat, instead of trying to explain why I don't want Fido for dinner.

To dispel a myth though, eating dog is not that common in Korea. It is primarily done on traditional holidays and for the most part considered only suitable for very low class Koreans. This does not stop people from selling it on occasion though.

Either way. Very amusing Geist. Cheers.


Veganize Mee
by IamSquid (undisclosed)
on Mar 19, 2003 - 01:28 AM
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Yoo know, I was considering going vegan. I tired once many years ago but going over this discussion really makes mee think about it again (especially considering it's been a month since I've had a refigerator because THREE refrgierators broke down on mee the month before that so I've grown used to not having dairy products).

How does an aspiring young vegetarian learn to go without animal products? (although I will still continue to devour humans mericilessly)


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by angelsnot (TaraDelancey@hotmail.com)
on Nov 13, 2003 - 10:14 AM
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Thank god you put that out, I completely agree. I love steak and hotdogs, and chicken wings too much to ever consider going veg. They just taste too good, and I really don't care that they come from another earthly creature.


Re: Why We Should Eat Animals
by fireflyer (-)
on Nov 01, 2004 - 02:52 PM
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why not eat animals? if we can catch 'em and kill 'em, why not eat 'em? survival of the fittest or whatever. and oh yeah- eat your vegetables or no dessert.


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