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| Fiction: 85' excess |
Posted by
Squire-of-Gothos on Saturday, January 11, 2003 - 01:45 PM PST
A colossal evening awaited us all. These where not your usual hang out conditions, this had depth. Nothing else was important, and I had to keep reminding myself of this so I wouldn’t botch the whole thing. Colin, that dog, verminous animal, thing was playing with his belt buckle, as if it where some sort of game or puzzle. He was scum. I hated him. Every night we would get together, find a competent and trusting crack fiend, and score some white. Every night I hated him more, unordinary hate that drives men places. I reminded myself of the night of excess and abuse we where waiting for, and righted myself.
“Why do you always wear those stupid fucking black suits? Every night it’s the same; black suit, black tie. Why?” I felt his little eyes on me in the mirror. “Would you watch your god damned language! There’s a woman present!” Sidney was passed out on the couch, hopefully sleeping off whatever she took this afternoon. “And check that bitch, she hasn’t moved in half an hour!” Why had she gotten so smashed before she got here? Did she comprehend the things we where doing tonight? How the hell am I supposed to tie a tie with two hits of acid in me? What the fuck was he doing to her?!?! “Hey you little fuck”, Colin leapt from the corner of the sofa; I could smell his animal stink from here! “Get away from her. Your sick you know that, sick and…..” It was becoming increasingly hard to form word, for the sake of him at least. “And take a bath, you stink, I smell it!”
The tie, as it is known was never designed to be tied under these circumstances. I keep hearing the animal squeak about not touching her, and how I have a sick mind, etc, etc, etc. Animal speak, that’s all. It’s hard to not be able to trust people, but that’s life. There was something hot in my eye, like a glowing poker in my iris, and I felt the need to do something. “Hey, animal, what was it I needed to do, was, was, it something in the car, or, or what”, “You needed to stop calling me names, asshole. I’m not an animal, I was checking her pulse and you- “I don’t want to hear it! Where the fuck is the drugs?” Fuck. Fuck me. I’m over. Where are the drugs? The night was over. “Shit man, you left them in the car, you’ve had to much dude.”
How dare he. This animal, he wasn’t even human, not even made like you and me. Colin was the product of years of societies problems distilled like vodka, and injected into his veins at birth. He had parents, if you can believe it. They where those uncaring droids you wished your parents where. He stayed out late, he had no punishment, he was a wild creature. Why was he even here? A man can’t even think in these conditions. Colin’s animal grin was in my mirror, but I had more important things to worry about. “Wake her up Colin, but no ‘animal fun’. I want her in one piece for tonight.” He flipped me the bird. Just like an animal, he can’t even use civilized fucking language.
Sidney had the complexion of death, but there was beauty in all that white and smeared mascara. “What time are we leaving?” Sidney’s voice was soothing, but it carried the weight of years of cigarette smoking and rum. “Right now, god damn it, if we’re lucky” Who said that? I didn’t, and animals can’t speak. It took some time to remember again what tonight was, and what I was doing with these keys. “Let’s move troops! Tally Ho!” It was a short goose step to the car port; the darkness of twilight silhouetted the cherry red of car paint. Colin looked at Sidney, who was poised to enter the front passenger seat of the Cadillac convertible. Looking like a wounded elk, he crawled into the back seat. Good. Animals always ride in the back. Sidney staggered through the door and into the seat, and I loved her then with those sweet, dark eyes. She’d gone from death to party ready in seconds. “You’re a trooper Sid.” She pulled a Marlboro from the cigarette case I got her in T.J. and lit it. The corner of her lip rose at the familiar sound of the Zippo clicking closed.
“Can we fucking go? Jesus Christ! Hey I’m hitting this ether you want some?” “Are you insane? I’m about to drive. Ether! Have you ever driven on ether Colin?” He actually expected me to drive on that stuff. Animal! This type of excess is unacceptable. He went on about the merits of being on ether and driving fast moving vehicles, but I was entranced. Sidney’s eyes went from him to me. She felt my presence. She told me something. She explained excess with that look. This wasn’t your usual girl, and I knew what she needed from me. “Just give me some powder, damn it. I’m ok on that.” Perhaps, for 10 miles or so, but this, well this was Miami. I had to go places. He talked and handed me a bag. I could do a line on the dash board, but I chose the back of my hand.
Miami loved this stuff. It was run by it. 1985 was a good year, but it’s all over tonight. Tomorrow, all will be forgotten, but tonight we had a chance to make something of ourselves. I would have kept up with the elaboration, but the cocaine turned the ignition on and put the car into reverse. “Finally baby, yeah! This is going to kick man! Where we going” What was he talking about. I hadn’t begun. The whole thing seemed off-center for a moment, and I fought for control. It wasn’t the thought of what awaited us that got me back though. It was her. I just looked at her eyes, and I was there. I wiped my nose, put the Cady into drive, and it was all history.
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| 85' excess | Login/Create an account | 11 Comments |
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| | Comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content. |
I think I'm getting the Fear
by Geist on Jan 11, 2003 - 04:45 PM
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This one sounds like trouble. You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. And my first advice is that you should rent a very fast car with no top. This blows my weekend, because naturally I’ll have to go with you--and we’ll have to arm ourselves.
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Re: 85' excess
by Squire-of-Gothos (Brian0049@hotmail.com)
on Jan 12, 2003 - 04:33 AM
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Personally I think it was badly written, lacked substance, the story kind of jumps around for no aparent reason, and the ending sucks. If maybe more respect and study went into the life and times of 80's drug abuse, it could have peeled itself of the pavement.
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Re: 85' excess
by MystryssRavynDarque (A1MANDI04@AOL.COM)
on Jan 13, 2003 - 01:08 PM
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Really really not up to my standards. Better than the other pile of shit, but not wonderful in the least bit. I find myself discovering many spelling and grammatical errors within your essay. Though to not say at all that I am an English major, because I too speak the bastardized language of ordinary citizens. Lack of development in all forms.
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Re: 85' excess
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Jan 17, 2003 - 08:21 PM
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http://www.hotelshade.com
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Interesting, I had to re-read the first few paragraphs to follow the point of view, and for a moment I thought the drugs had catapulted the narrator's consciousness into someone else's. I'd say it could handle alot of cleaning up without risking the loss of the voice.
All in all I enjoyed it, and I would love to see a proofread version.
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Re: 85' excess
by Squire-of-Gothos (Brian0049@hotmail.com)
on Jan 18, 2003 - 02:22 PM
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Yeah, It was originally a short story I was writing, but I got disapointed in it and shortened what I had. Unfortunately I've been out of school for a while, so my literary skills are as well tuned as a 71' Buick in a junk yard. Despite my disapointment with the original, I'm trying to combine some of the elements I planned for it with another idea I had, and write a new story. If it comes out semi-coherent, I'll try and post the first page or so here.
Thanks for the tips and compliments people!
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