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Feature: The Tweekytime HowTo |
Posted by
Devin on Tuesday, December 31, 2002 - 01:31 AM PST
By being cooler than everybody else is, people like us are entitled to a thing called Tweekytime. This is a time of mental instability that cannot be held against us later. The difference between Tweekytime and going fucking psycho is a delicate one. If you follow the rules laid out in this document, you should be able to emerge from Tweekytime with minimal grudges, and as a way cooler person (entitled to even more Tweekytime). If you don’t follow them, people will probably just think you're a lunatic.
Definitions:
Tweekytime is a period of time (hopefully a short one, for your friends' sake) when you relinquish your stability and sometimes sanity in the hope of emerging a better, cooler, and more stable and sane person. While it can appear to others that you’ve simply lost it, those who know better will recognize this and help you through it, provided, of course, that you haven’t simply lost it. Far from being a bad thing, this is how people evolve and become someone that others can respect and look up to. It’s a bit like a snake shedding it’s skin (or a phoenix on burning day), you look terrible, feel terrible, lash out at anyone around you – but when it’s over – everything is better then it was before. This is how people go from dorks to cool to really cool to uber fucking cool.
Responsibility:
There are certain responsibilities for everyone involved. These can be hard to remember when it comes down to it. Print out this page and keep it around in case the need arises (cause it will). When it’s Tweekytime for you, there are only a few things you need to do, but you MUST do them.
- The most important thing you need to do is to admit to yourself that this is Tweekytime. There are all kinds of reasons for not doing this (see Ego section below), but it is necessary and important to go through with it. If you don’t admit that you are having Tweekytime then you are doing this wrong and will get none of the benefits to which otherwise you would be entitled.
- Inform everyone who will be affected. It is not their job to guess. Them not guessing doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t understand you. It is YOUR responsibility to tell them in a way that they can understand. Until you are sure they understand completely that it is now Tweekytime for you, anything they say and do wrong is YOUR problem, not theirs.
- Make it clear that you need them. You do, I promise. Sometimes you think you don’t when everything starts getting all fucked up – but forgetting this step is a MAJOR mistake. It’s a simple thing to do, but a hard thing to remember. Unlike the previous rule, you have to do this continuously, at least until you are done.
- Never claim Tweekytime when it is not. While Tweekytime does give you license to get away with a lot, saying it is Tweekytime just to get out of something will not work. People will know. It’s obvious. Also, if you’re trying to be cool by claiming Tweekytime, you’re an idiot. Tweekytime is not cool. Doing it properly and then everyone involved putting it away like it didn’t happen is what makes you cool when it’s done. This is one of the differences between Tweekytime and Drama.
- Remember that this is all normal behavior and don’t try to act as if it’s not. While it may not be normal behavior for a prom queen – if you were a prom queen, you would not be reading this now would you? Everyone worthwhile has these phases. Since everyone is required to forgive and forget after it’s over, it makes it seem like you are the first and last person to go though Tweekytime. You’re not. Remember that it’s a natural part of being the kind of person you have chosen to be.
If it is someone else’s Tweekytime, and you’re involved in some way, you have responsibilities and rules you need to follow as well.
- This WILL be you someday – probably very soon. Remember that when dealing with them. Be supportive and help them through it. They will do the same for you when it’s your time. And it WILL be time.
- Any previous roles that were set up are temporarily invalid. Even if they were in the stronger role before, you are now in the parent role. I know you didn’t ask for it, but anything they do during this time has to be forgiven and forgotten. Any direction they take has to be supported – even if you don’t approve or like it. Grudges are not acceptable.
- Remember that this is temporary. It is a phase. Usually a longer phase than we would like – but if everything is done right, you should come out of this with a much cooler friend who you are a lot closer to than you were before.
- Never say anything remotely resembling "That’s not like you." Of course it’s not like them, it’s Tweekytime. This kind of talk is dangerous. It can end Tweekytime early and make everything go back to looking like it did before. But it won't be the same. It will just be a comfortable resting place for things to fester and build up until the next inevitable Tweekytime, which I can assure you, you will not be a part.
Ego:
Tweekytime is unflattering. That’s just how it is. There’s no way around it. Accept it. Your ego will not cope well with how you appear to others during this time. The best thing to do is to be around people who give a shit about you. It’s the same idea as getting too drunk. It may be embarrassing, but it’s better to be around someone who will hold your hair out of the way than to go back to the party covered in puke. It’s tempting to try and maintain your composure – but giving up this bit of vanity will make this time far more productive and make you come out of it way cooler than you would otherwise.
Friends:
Your friends are what make this time productive and make this work so well. Choose them wisely and take good care of them. Thank them. Don’t do anything mean or hurtful if you can help it. As long as they are informed, you’re allowed to be erratic. You are not allowed to be mean. Don’t forget to remind them repeatedly that you need them. They will be the ones that make sure nobody finds out about all the embarrassingly stupid shit you're doing.
Others:
You will always have other people that you have to deal with besides those that the rules above apply to. Avoid these people if at all possible. For those you can't avoid, this would be a good place to direct some of that vanity you set aside. Try to appear as normal as possible to keep the questions away. After all of these efforts, you are still going to have contact with some people. Here are a few things that might seem obvious, but you need to remember them.
- Never say anything definitive or permanent. Say things like "I don’t want to hang out with you right now" rather than "I never want to see you again". Even if you’re feeling the latter – the previous statement is the correct one. If, after everything is patched back together, you are still feeling the latter, then is the appropriate time to say it.
- Let other people deal with stuff. Assuming you followed the rules above that apply to those closest to you, you are entitled to relax and let them deal with most of the other people. They will clean up your messes, hide you, and protect you until you are reassembled, but ONLY if you give them license to and follow the rules above to the letter.
Making Use of it:
So now you’ve got all this time and freedom, what do you do with it? Anything. You will know instinctively. Go with it. Try not to take new advice, but definitely try to process old advice. Experiment with your personality. Too shy? Fix it now. Maybe incorporate parts of other people’s personalities whom you admire. Adjust some of your outlooks on sex, relationships, social issues. This is the perfect time to do all of this. Your mind is extremely open to change and it will know what it wants changed. If you keep the external drama down, you can accomplish a lot. Only you know what needs to be done. As long as you don’t forget any of the things laid out above, you’re allowed to do anything. So do it.
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The Tweekytime HowTo | Login/Create an account | 9 Comments |
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by Closetgothbabe on Dec 31, 2002 - 08:48 AM
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If you only knew how much this helped me Devin! Thanks again for always saying the right things at the right time *hugs*
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by Schizo on Dec 31, 2002 - 09:35 AM
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Wow. So THAT'S what it was! I never knew the name for it before!
It was a tweaky-time that catapulted me into the goth scene. Dealing with the first break-up with my boyfriend. Had a good friend who took me under her wing - and got my eyebrow pierced for me - and generally kept me alive until I got my head part way under control.
It was during that tweaky-time that I started a very enjoyable round of internet sex (something I had never done before) with one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. We kept in touch for a long time after me and the B.F. got back together, but we lost track of each other when I first lost my computer. But God that guy could write!
Tweaky-time is miserable. Tweaky-time makes you look like a complete fool, and you know it, and there's nothing you can do about it. Because you just can't HELP it! Tweaky-time can make you do things that nearly end up ruining your life.
Tweaky-time can also introduce you to things you never thought of or experienced before. Tweaky-time is a time when you are so out of your mind that, just maybe, you can look at your mind from another angle and learn something about yourself you never knew before. Tweaky-time pushes you to the limits of your abilities. If you can survive tweaky-time, you know that you can survive anything.
I would never recommend that someone voluntarily induce tweaky-time. In fact, I don't think that it's possible. Tweaky-time is terribly risky, and without the right friends, and without a hell of a lot of inner strength, you can end up wanting to end it all. Because tweaky-time won't end until it's ready to end. And you will never escape without a few new scars.
But scars are sexy, aren't they!
Thanks, Devin, for putting a name to that experience, and giving it dignity. I was always a little ashamed of that time, but now I am proud of myself, and the way I grew because of it!
And much thanks to Kat (not a member, as far as I know!) who kept me from going COMPLETELY out of control during those months!
Thank god for tweaky-time. And thank god it's over.
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Loor et Gloria
by Arthegarn on Dec 31, 2002 - 01:43 PM
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Heed the words of Devin... no of Devin the Divine... no, heed the words of THE DEVIN, for THE DEVIN is wise, and his words carry more truth than the average prophet's
The second thing I liked the most about the Scene when I first came in is that there I would not have to give any explanations to anyone when I got tweeky. I could be as antisocial as I wanted to, I could sit at my table, smoke my pipe and look at everyone thinking how inferior they were and how did they resemble mindless zombies having spams at the beat of the music. Then I could flirt with whomever I liked, or get obsessed with whatever I wanted, or change my mask from the jurist to the jester. Or I could spiral to the bottom of my problem, whichever it was, and nobody would give a shit about me, my grins, my pipe or my book.
And then, after I finished my first tweekytime I emerged, to my amazement, "cool". Something I had NEVER been. And when I met other goths and saw their own tweekytimes, I realised it was somewhat normal. The next time I got tweeky I just stopped seeing everyone, so I could hide and experiment. When I would see them I would tell them to leave me alone, or else not to take into account anything I said or did. And THEY DID. And they were there when I was ready to get go back to normal (as normal as I can get to be, that is) and they helped me polish the new additions to my personality, and they just didn't remember anything I did at that time. And it has happened so ever since
I never established a cause-effect relationship between tweekytimes and coolness, but it must be there. I am the tweekiest person around, it's like the tide, it's never gone for too long, perhaps because I am as curious as a monkey and I want to try everything. But for some reason I am not considered to be some guy who has no personality at all and is constantly looking for a new role, or posture, or whatever. I am not the total jerk I was in high school, just with a cross, a tie and a tarot deck... ewbies and kindergothen look up to me and ask me what can they do to get so cool! I AM COOL after so many years trying to be so, as soon as I cared a pepper (Spanish expresion maning "not to give a shit") about it, shazam, I am a cultural icon and every TV show wants me in it!
There is something, though. I never experiment in the Scene for some reason. When I want to experiment I go to preppy clubs where I can start by having a nice fight with the doorkeeper because they don't allow goths in. Perhaps I do so because, when I get in there (dress codes are never well enough laid out as to let out a gothic lawyer), being the only goth around, I am so "alternative", so "necessarily cool" ("the doorkeeper wouldn't have let him in if he wasn´t") that I can do the most embarrasing things during my personality experiments. I would never be a buffon, I would be so advanced I am not understand by the commoneers
My, I love teasing preppies.
But anyway, HEED, HEED THE WORDS OF THE DEVIN
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Dec 31, 2002 - 11:29 PM
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*tweak tweak tweak*
Stop the ride, I wanna get off.
Sooo o....what happens if you have MULTIPLE tweaks right after another?
Like....five in three months?
*tweak tweak tweak*
~ugh I"m gonna be sick.
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by Domkitten (domkittenish@spanking.com)
on Jan 01, 2003 - 11:10 PM
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This is obviously very good advice if you are capable of recognizing and accepting that you are in fact going through Tweekytime. The only probelm is I don't usually know I"m going through Tweektime until I'm about two days outside of Tweekytime.
Is there a guide or manual you could make, preferably in green color, that can describe the warning signs of tweekytime and how to distinguish it from "homicidal manica time" which should probably be a pamplet it red? Just curious.
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by AlteredMind (DarkSideVampireX@AOL.com)
on Jan 06, 2003 - 10:08 PM
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Devin I don't know how or where you came up with this but it is the best thing ive heard of that describes me and the way i am.......doctors call it deppression.............my mom calls it b*tching............my dad says im irritable...but i think you nailed it with " tweekytime". I went all out this past saturday night and knocked the sh*t out of my friend, and were still cool.... I guess that sounds really weird , but we are just like that.......friends that stand behind eachother..............I printed this out so i could show it to them tommorrow ! I'm sure they'll be in awe too............anyways much love
amy
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Re: The Tweekytime HowTo
by Stille (dimeforthepassingtime@gmail.com)
on Sep 25, 2008 - 02:22 PM
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Thanks a lot for the guide. It's helped me survive adolescence and I hope it's going to help me survive the now-starting Tweekytime as well. I'm worried sick, what with it being the first Tweekytime while I'm not single and all. Especially since I haven't had yet the time to talk properly about it with my lover. Well, I've only figured it's Tweekytime an hour and a half ago, it's night now and the weekend is coming. Wish me luck, people.
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