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Preach: The Boyfriend Article
Posted by ThatOneWastedChick on Thursday, August 22, 2002 - 04:05 AM PST

Rant
Okay I am thirteen years old. I have not once stepped foot inside a high school. Yet already I am dealing with suicidal friends. Why are they suicidal you may ask? One word: Boyfriends. Yes, as pathetic as it may sound, I have friends willing to end their shallow little lives over their boyfriends. I am fed up with it. Our lives haven’t even begun yet and already my friends are tired of it. God, save me from the stupidity. All right, one day I am happily surfing the net when an IM box pops up. It is my friend Angie. She is once again crying her eyes out because her boyfriend Chip (yes, that is his actual name) had his tongue in some other girl’s mouth. She is talking about killing herself because she “can’t take it anymore”. Take what? She can’t take the fact that maybe a few of the guys she goes out with will every once and awhile betray her. I’m thinking if she can’t handle that then she’s going to have a very disappointing life.

As I sit there listening to her ranting, I offer supportive advice and eventually talk her out of killing herself for the second time. A couple of weeks earlier she tried slitting her wrists, all because some guy she's been crushing on doesn’t like her. In fact he can’t stand her. It turns out before I had even met her she tried hanging herself in her closet over the same guy. It’s pitiful is it not?

But back to my subject. I have sworn off guys at the moment, well at least dating them, I do not object to flirting. Anyway, this is the reason. First off, I am only thirteen, I can’t even drive yet! Why do I need to get into any serious relationships? I shouldn’t even be thinking about serious relationships! What, I meet a guy in 8th grade and marry him in 9th? I think not.

My mother won’t let me even hang out in the mall without some form of adult supervision (and no my friends 18 year old brother doesn’t count). How am I supposed to go on a date with him if I can’t even go to the mall? Plus I would only date guys two years older then me at the most. So that means right now they have no car so that means they have to get their parents to chauffeur us around. Romantic? No.

Anyway, I have more important things to focus on right now and I don’t mean fashion. I mean school. I know I probably sound like a nerd or something but it’s true. Although my education system may be lacking in certain areas, school is still important. Without good grades I may not get into a good college. I may not even graduate high school. If I’m to busy focusing on my current boyfriend, who I’ll break up with two weeks from now because I’m bored with him, then chances are I’ll neglect homework or something. So needless to say I do not need a boyfriend at this point in my life. And I'm not sure why my friends think they do.

One last thought. Just because some sleazy guy breaks up with me it’s not the end of the world. There will be other sleazy guys. However, if it is the end of the world that’s pretty sad, and most likely means I don’t have a life of my own. If that’s the case… I need to get one… desperately.


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The Boyfriend Article | Login/Create an account | 24 Comments
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Re: The Boyfriend Article
by Psychopixi on Aug 22, 2002 - 04:14 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://psychopixi.com
Wow, you're really mature for a thirteen year old, I wish I was that clear headed when I was your age, hell, I wish I was that clear headed *now*! I think you're obviously going to do well in school, and in life because you know how to apply yourself. This article was really great to read, so thanks.

I didn't get the whole boyfriends thing either really. My first boyfriend (ever!) was this year - I'm 16. Sure, sometimes seeing my friends going out with their guys made me feel a bit left out, but seeing them break up with the same arseholes put things into perspective. I might have felt left out sometimes but I never felt like I needed a boyfriend to validate who I was, as some people I know seem to. It's like they can't exist without a guy to hang onto.

I didn't rush into a relationship, or date just about anybody who was single, I didn't forget about homework, or stop paying attention in school. I've been with my boyfriend for just over 7 months and I'm really happy now, I think I have the balance right between social life, and school work.


Just smile and nod
by Monolycus on Aug 22, 2002 - 06:29 AM
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The interesting thing you'll find as time passes is that the number of REAL problems your friends have increases while their melodrama decreases. The people who are prone to that sort of behaviour either grow out of it or actually bump themselves off... either way, people are, on average, a lot more reasonable to deal with after they've had a few years to get over themselves. Good thing, too... if I had to deal with a lot of friends who became suicidal every time they had to deal with any bit of reality that they found unpleasant I'd... *sniff*... I'd just...

I'd smile and nod and find new friends. I am, I was, I will be

~Monolycus.


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by ickgirl on Aug 22, 2002 - 10:00 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.envy.nu/ickgirl
bravo!

Everyone, read this article a few times, and then think to yourself "wow, why can't I write as well as a 13 year old?"

Excellent article, wasted. You remind me of a young girl I met while volunteering at a summer camp years ago. She was 13 or 14 and I was about 21 or 22. I told her I was shocked I could relate to someone so young. I said "wow, you are really mature" and she said "maybe you're just immature"

*smile*

keep thinking, and keep writing

-ickgirl


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by Ianthe99 on Aug 22, 2002 - 10:58 AM
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Smart girl!


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by DevilBunny (land_of_nod@poczta.onet.pl)
on Aug 22, 2002 - 11:54 AM
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You're absolutely right, Wasted, about running into relationships and taking them to seriously. Thirteen is not at all the best age for that kind of comittment and I doubt that anyone at that age has enough common sense to think clearly about it, although You seem like a very nice exception from this.
On the other hand it's scary to hear about such young people trying to kill themselves... I mean, I can understand someone who is having a very hard life, or has just lost everything he had. All this is replaceable, I know, but it is a more "resonable" reason for suicide (if anything can be at all...). But not being dumped by a boyfriend at the age of thirteen.


You guys are so nice!
by ThatOneWastedChick on Aug 22, 2002 - 12:26 PM
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THank you guys so much! I just wrote this in a rage and decided to post it. I never expected to get this much praise for it. ::sniff sniff:: You guys are too nice. I was just writing what anyone could see. And yeah... now that you mention it. It is really scary that kids my age are litterally contemplating suicide over something so pointless. But anyway, thanks again!


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by VampCourt (Morbidchic@hotmail.com)
on Aug 22, 2002 - 12:53 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/vampcourt/index.html?1017202482720
great article. and surprising at that. In saying.. You got a good head on your shoulders. :)


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Aug 22, 2002 - 01:28 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/
Wasted you give me hope for kids today.
Any praise you get on this is well deserved, not only for your writing skills, but for having a brain between your ears and using it for something other than a volleyball. As said before, you have a good head on your shoulders and I am so glad that at 13, unlike your friends, you know what the hell life and the future is about. You'll do well girl.
As for suicidal 13 year old girls over boyfriends...UGH. I never understood that either. I had friends that were boy crazy, crushing on everyone, their lives centered around getting attention (from anyone) any way they could, and being devestated and "ruined" by people they'd never even talked to. It made me SICK and the reason I had so few friends by the end of highschool was I was sick of being the crisis line. Sick of giving these people attention, sick of DRAMA. If you can make it through school with the same attitude you have now you'll go very very far.

Not even in highschool and three times as intelligent and level headed than most adults I know today....god damn sister.


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com)
on Aug 22, 2002 - 01:49 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/
This is off the subject, and this is probably a weird place to mention it, but as smart as this girl is, she's also way cute - so everyone should try to convince her to post a picture (she won't let me post the ones i've seen). That would give all the people in that age range someone on the site to drool over since I believe sindel is the youngest gothbabe with pictures here.


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by AloneSoul (AloneSoul@hurting.com)
on Aug 22, 2002 - 05:22 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
This is a situation from which I have talked many people out of.
No matter how trivial it may seem, you should still take the time out to help your friend...even if she doesn’t seem like one. If she mistreats you then yeah, you should let stupidity take it’s toll but if she doesn’t, try to make her realize that her life is worth more than a guy and people out there have it MUCH worse than she does.

*i say this again, what i'm about to tell you is not a bid for sympathy*
I tried but failed...I didn’t see it coming. My friend Tay committed suicide because she was raped, a second time by a second “man.” Her ex this time. She was pregnant, again. That was two years ago on the 29th of June.

To me, suicide, no matter what the reason, is no joke...not when it’s my friend for my friends are my family and I’ll fight till the end for them.


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by Mutant_Duckie on Aug 22, 2002 - 05:29 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.halspages.cjb.net
girl, you remind me of me at 13! Lol, i was so sick of that shit. It's so pathetic when people turn their lives into soap operas. ...Drives me insane.

Oh, and about the boy thing... I give it 2 years before you're smoochin. Girl "geeks" get more attention later on, trust me ;)

Keep on Quackin'!


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by Merry_Widow on Aug 24, 2002 - 04:53 PM
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I cannot begin to say how utterly impressed I am with this. Such a well-reasoned, logical view on ones life and it's situations is a rare thing, especially in someone so young. What a wonderful thing to post ones first comment on.
This is a truly excellent rant, Wasted. I would suggest some more stable friends, however. The kinds like that will eat away at you until the only option left is to pick up the cleaver and help them along their merry little way...beleive me, I know.

Merry_Widow


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by ThatOneWastedChick on Aug 25, 2002 - 07:13 PM
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Whoa... you guys made me grin when I read your comments. As I told Devin the other day, they make me feel all warm and tingly... but that could just be my sunburn. Lol. But anyway, thanks for your input. Now... onto my next topic post thingy... uh... any suggestions?


Re: The Boyfriend Article
by angelofdarkness on Sep 03, 2002 - 07:13 PM
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I agree with you in some aspects. Yes, at your age, people can be very immature. And I'm not gonna lie to you, when you get older, things will get better, but unfortunately, ignorance will still be depressingly common.

It's completely wrong that someone could get that wound up over something so small. But when things like this happen, it is important to take into consideration that maybe there's something more serious going on in their lives than wanting attention. If someone is threatening suicide over a breakup that seems so insignifigant, it' usually has absolutely nothing to do with that. Sometimes there are things going on that you don't know about. Sometimes they take a relationship that seriously. Sometimes if they want attention that bad, there's something serious going on.
Then again, they could just feel like being angsty and dramatic, in which case, you have my sympathy. Try to find some friends that aren't so dramatic. Believe me, you're not the only person out there with a level head on their shoulders, and even if it takes time, you will find others like you.


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