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| Articles: Sometimes when you're "paranoid" They really are out to get you! |
Posted by
Kat_Vamp on Sunday, April 07, 2002 - 04:22 AM PST
Okay...now I know I suffer from anxiety, and yes, I am even taking all the prescribed meds (I won't even go there...) but I really have to get this off my chest; and I hope that you will bear with me on this, because I don't really want to get into any long philosophical conversations about "Where do you get your information from..." and all that crap. The facts are out there if you have already looked, or are willing to expand your mind and spend some time observing.
At any rate, I am beginning to get really scared of all the stuff I see in the world going on around me. Now I know that's probably normal, but my rational concerns and fears are beginning to rise every day, until I am almost paralyzed. This could be agoraphobia...except I'm not afraid to go out of the house or be in social situations (at least any more than normal; I've always been leery of humans.) It's the news (before you tell me to turn off the TV. let me go on.) I feel as if what they are showing us is not real (duh) but worse than that I have almost empathic feelings or something about what is really going on between their double-double speak. Maybe I've read too much Orwell...I admit it could be...however This is all getting too much on me: These wars; the US's involvement; society's sheepdom in general (willful ignorance); all the murder and genocide and suicides...Gaia-cyde. I just can't go on because it's all messed up in my head somehow. I AM NOT schizophrenic...the shrinks say not, and I am not on meds for that. I think maybe just my sensitivities are catching up to me.
I don't know what to think anymore, living in a world like this and knowing that it's only going to get worse...being more afraid of our own Government than afraid of terrorists; being as much afraid of our Society as the Societies of those who outwardly espouse misogyny and violence. Maybe more afraid because our society does spend so much time covering up and denying (etc) what the truth of our world is. It's insane. If it's insane then I must be reacting normally to an abnormal situation...which would make me saner than the rest of the unenlightened (not that everyone is unenlightened...don't put me there.)
Is any of this making sense?
I don't know how to get the feelings out into words...which is amazing for me, if you knew me. I just know that I am afraid and it keeps getting worse. Even when I watch a commercial, and my "normal" cynicism is activated, it seems to be turned on to "ultra-high", instead of "apathetic". Now this stuff is starting to affect my (few) social interactions as well...like going to coffee for instance. Just driving down the street and watching the bloody rednecks I live around sends me into spasms of rage. They don't even know I exist! Yet, their existence bothers me.
Maybe I'm just hormonal. I hope so...if that's it, then some Black Cohosh will do the trick. Or maybe the World really is out to get us all.
Thank you for listening to my insanity...I certainly needed to vent.
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| Sometimes when you're "paranoid" They really are out to get you! | Login/Create an account | 14 Comments |
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Re: Sometimes when you're
by pAris (dparis@columbus.rr.com)
on Apr 08, 2002 - 05:04 AM
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1 - The world is out to get us to spend money on all of our problems, to try to buy away our insecurities. Tough day? Buy a new car and feel better.
2 - Rednecks should be ranted about in spasms of rage - that's why they exist.
3 - It's hard to be sane and sensitive in this world, which is why ignorance truly can be bliss (see number 2).
4 - When I was younger, I used to think 80% of the people out there were sheep. As I get older, that number just keeps getting higher.
5 - It could be much worse, so don't stress it too much.
6 - don't forget to breathe - ranting takes a lot out of you.
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Re: Sometimes when you're
by Ironboots on Apr 08, 2002 - 06:04 AM
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I'm irritated also by most humans around me as well, on days... and anytime I'm at (Target, Walmart, Kmart, Bimart, or any other)
But as for paranoia... just let danger come... If its coming, it will. But you can't outrun what you can't see (or in the case of society, what is all around you) so you might as well stand still and enjoy the scenery. Gotta take it with a healthy dose of optimism, or resignation, whichever. And yeah, I suggest turning off the tv... who needs it anyway?
Ignorance... is bliss.
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Re: Sometimes when you're
by Sardonic-Pain (Lilgothicchicka@yahoo.com)
on Apr 08, 2002 - 06:36 AM
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i just say take it all in stride there is nothing much you can do to keep the world from falling apart(that would just take lots of safepins,duct tape, and glue)
Shyt happens and then you step IN IT!
bah t.v I rarely even watch it
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Re: Sometimes when you're
by Alugarde (SoulCiphyr@aol.com)
on Apr 08, 2002 - 03:30 PM
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A while back a friend of mine wrote a theory for sociology in which she categorized people according to their ability to comprehend living in a state of pure chaos. I always thought the "Chaotics" as she called them were few. Something about your post makes me think the opposite.
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Re: Sometimes when you're
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Apr 12, 2002 - 01:01 AM
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my suggestion is quit staring at the demon box.
If you must, watch the discovery channel.
I'm paranoid a bit too..or used to. I'm so old and withered and bitter I don't give a flying flip anymore...I say, let them come. Come and get me. It's like chasing girls in gradeschool...once they catch up, they don't know what to do, give up, and find someone that runs faster and spooks easier.
If they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you, just make sure you're always wearing pointy shoes.
I've gotta quit posting when I'm tired...zzzzz
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Re: Sometimes when you're "paranoid" They really are out to get you!
by Anonymous-Coward on Apr 23, 2002 - 01:39 AM
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I also feel like this most days and do have trouble leaving my apartment. (Let's hear it for Anxiety!) Before I leave, I have to mentally prepare myself to face the world. Yeah, drugs would probably help, but I won't take them. Because of this, my social life is non-existent too.
(hehehe) I even avoid going to the grocery store as long as I possibly can.
I hardly ever watch tv and maybe you do the same. All I see around me is violence, death, and chaos anyway. I can't put these emotions into words that make sense. I'm not scared of anything or anyone in particular. It's the lack of order, and hasn't it always been that way. People are mindless drones and everything is out of control. No one cares to think, listen, or observe what's going on. To know that this is as good as it's gonna get; it's all downhill from here.
It is so depressing.
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