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| Drama: ATTENTION |
Posted by
callei on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 09:06 AM PST
There is no nice way to say this, and that pisses me off. Some of you are unwelcome here. This is a vibey and often squishy place, and some of you are walking shmeng. If you don't know what those words mean, if you haven't read the glossary, the rules and the suggestions, if you unaware of who the editors and moderators are, then you don't belong here.
We came here to bitch about you, to have the soul cleaning of letting that shmeng go with people who can help us laugh it off. And you are laughing with us, at yourselves. It is hard to get clean in a mud bath. You are pissing in our Wheaties. Let me really clear here: this site is about the shit that makes life yucky and unfun. You (and most of you know who you are) are that same shit in person shape.
We have never had to 'ban' anyone, or tell anyone to never come back. We have never had to email people privately to tell that they are being jerks and fools and that they need to leave. (I have sometimes done this, but only as an individual, not 'the Shmeng Membership' as a united entity). The unwanted and unwelcome used to just leave after a week or so.
But now, we are getting so many unwelcome everyday that you, the unwelcome, are starting to support each other. You make it an 'us against them' game, a very shmengy game. It's not 'us against them'. You are not the 'us' here. You are the 'them'. And we want you to go away. This is not your playground, these are not your toys, and your mother is calling you.
We are a very loving group usually. We love to have new members and fawn all over them. If we haven't fawned on you, what does that tell you? We respond to the posts of the people that we care about with kindness, thought, and hopefully good debate skills. If we are not responding to you, what does that tell you? Do we defend your posts? Do we defend your right to speak? Do we delete mean posts on your pic? Do we answer you when you message us? Do we go out of our way to message you? Have we done ANYTHING to make you feel welcome and loved? If not maybe you should examine why you come here and why you stay.
Is it because you like a good fight? Is it because you get to bash someone else's ideas? Is it because you think you will meet a 'gothbabe'? In short are you here to make shmeng or are you here to get away from it. If you are here to be a jerk, to make waves, or to get laid, go somewhere else. There are oodles of places that you can go; we can even give you suggestions. But go, and go now.
This does NOT mean everyone. Age is not a factor, sex is not a factor, just brain matter. If you are in doubt at all, wondering if you are a shmeng bomb or not, email or message me or ick. We will tell you. Its better to know that you are loved than to wonder if you are hated, and we would love to get to know you better.
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| ATTENTION | Login/Create an account | 44 Comments |
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Re: ATTENTION
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Feb 28, 2002 - 09:49 AM
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Okie, this is definately long enough to posted as it's own article, but I'm posting it here because I think the initial offering should come from the pantheon and not a normal member, and this is a good way to prove my point about it already being said. Confused? Reaaad on it will probably only get worse :)
Have you ever gotten the feeling that something was getting out of hand? Like you'd gotten onto what you thought was a roller coaster but it was actually a runaway semi? How about that good old feeling like you're off balance and any second you're going to trip and fall to you doom, or at the very least some serious road rash. Perhaps it's time for a wake up call. Things are getting out of hand here in our merry world of Shmeng and we're all off balance. What happens when you take love for granted? Generally, in less one is truly lucky, that love is gone like the first morning dew. Pfft! In this case we are all quite lucky, the world of Shmeng which we all so love and which loves us back is being patient, but that patience is wearing thin. I haven't posted much in the past, but I've read so much of what has been posted that I feel I know the regulars by their words. Every time Betty mentions the word panties I get an evil grin on my face because I just know she's going to bash something that I too hate. Every time Arthegarn's name appears I put down my drink because I know I'll need all my faculties for what he's about to say, and here's something that's important, I want to know what it is. I love to see Ick thrash someone soundly and then hug the person on whose wheaties they pissed. I'm biased as far as Callei goes, but I read her posts as well because they are interesting, not just out of duty. I could go on and on, but the point of this is not a love-in, quite the opposite in fact.
Devin, our fearless leader who I have seen calm the savage storm more than once has resorted to fisticuffs like a common Mafia brat, it's been said before, but for all who were busy thinking up their next retort and missed it, It is his site, His labour of love, and his cross to bear in this case. Perhaps we could stop sitting on it for a few minutes and go back to slipping our skateboards under the heavy end? In the last few days I've watched a few (more) malcontents throw their shmeng at our walls and I fully expected to see it slide to the floor where it would get washed away with the rest of the shmeng that we all bring to this common ground. As I understand it, we're here because A) we followed an interesting link in a search engine and found the family we always knew we'd been separated from a birth/we were brought here by a friend who knew we were a kindred spirit. B) We all have Shmeng in our lives and it is a wonderful thing to be able to share the burden. We laugh. We cry. We fuck. We don't, it's all about us. and C) We're addicted. I've seen half of you on at 4AM my time, I know that means it still late wherever you are (With a few exception). And finally we're here because Devin, yes, I will keep harping on this fact, Devin has set up a beautiful island paradise in a world which ridicules us ("It's not halloween for x days still"), Hates us ("Fuckin' satan-worshipping {No Offence}, Columbine shooting, chicken raping FREAKS!"), persecutes us (Ask for a story any story, we all got them, if I referenced half the stories specifically about persecution based on outward appearance...back to that in a bit), arrests us, beats us down, and rapes us (either metaphorically or literally) because of who we are. We're here to say "Fuck 'em!" We are the most bizarre version of a self-help group therapy orgy I have never hoped to leave. Gotta problem? Pull up a chair and if we can't fuck it, fix it, or make it funny enough to laugh at we'll at the very least let you know you're not alone. Maybe I should start talking in the past tense?
An entire paragraph ago I said I expected the shmeng to run down the walls and be washed away, just like usual.
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Re: ATTENTION
by ReOn on Feb 28, 2002 - 10:44 AM
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OK....lets see where to start?
Firstly i am not one of them "commoners you speak of, but i agree strongly with you.
This is "our" site and these "people" are slobbering all over it.
it's like asking a 5 year-old to keep away, however many time's you smack it and tell it to stay away it doesn't.
So if you are one of these "commoners" heres a news flash "you'r no better than the shit beneath you'r feet"
With that said i'm done.
P.S:boy am i glad these people can't trak me down in anyway.
ReOn
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Not about me?
by Arthegarn on Feb 28, 2002 - 12:21 PM
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Every time I read these things I fear you are talking about me.
It might surprise you, but I really do. I have this big inferiority complex that makes me so shy... I was the kind of kid who was beaten by the other kids, including those who I thought were my friends, and whenever I make new friends I fear they are actually laughing at me in my back. (Well, that was so until I became a Goth, actually, in Spain goths were not generally known at all until last year, so only very special people were goths). Paranoia? Well, yes, but the first time Callei said she liked my posts in general, I feared she was being sarcastic.
My point with this is that, actually, I don't understand what this site is here for. It might surprise you but I still don't know the meaning of the words "shmeng", "ick", "vibey", "squishy"... I never knew what was to be pissed off until I joined in here. It was the page the Goth Test was in, and I didn't quite understand anything until I tried to be Schizo's champion as I felt identified with her position as "resident christian". And then I started giving my opinion on other posts, and actually had a quarrel with Callei about something I don't remember anymore but which was meaningless, and eventually found out that I was considered a regular and a member of the Pantheon when actually I always thought of myself as a little intruder!
And you know why? Because I don't have much shmeng in my life.
I am quite happy, and although I don't have all I want (I never have enough sex, for instance, hehehe, and my love life usuually stinks... perhaps' I'll whyne about it later) I know I am extremely lucky with my family, friends and books. I have too many things to give thanks for as to get angry for those I don't have (except sex, THAT gets me pissy). And I am such an idiotic, forgiving person, that when someone screws me up (I never knew what was that until I joined this place, neither) I just forgive and forget. And most of you it's like you have more intense lifes or whatever, like you had more experiences, more to tell. Things happen to you that would never happen to me! I am such a square! I mean, so damned conventional! OK, maybe I am the first person who has decided to be conventional after a lot of thinking and that makes me special myself, but I look at most regulars and their "alternative" lifestyles and feel a like an intruder. I will not point out the Elders but Dolorosa for instance, who joined after me, that guy rocks! The Children of Anemone, that would never have crossed my mind! A navy goth! THIS guy has so much to tell!
I mean, I don't know if the objective of this place is to let off steam or what, but actually it's not that for me. It's a place where I find lots of interesting, highly intelligent (and many times even wise) people with whom I like to argue and who broaden my views. OK people complain here, that's what it's for, but as I almost never do (they had to beat the hell out of me until I decided to complain) sometimes I feel like I don't exactly fit in here. I know, I know, that's my paranoia, but it's also a fact.
And so I have reciently found that I was not an intruder anymore, and had to come to terms with it. But I don't understand why am I not, and who are you talking to when you talk about unwelcomed people. There are people who have extremely disinformed opinions, but I have seen no bigger jerk or fool than myself, and actually almost never been offended by anything posted here (only once at the very beginning and I was wrong).
And now the mea culpa. I am also here because I love a good fight and here I get them. And I love bashing someone else's ideas, although I obviously respect their right to have them (if they want to be wrong...) And, to be sincere, I also wanted to meet gothbabes and see if I could get laid (never enough, remember?). But not the "fancy a fuck" thing, I am too much of a person for that,
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It's Curtain Call for me folks
by Rae (darkness_embraced1@yahoo.com)
on Feb 28, 2002 - 01:18 PM
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I am going to be the first to say farewell to Shmeng.
It’s been a thought I have been pondering on for a few days. After reading some of the feedback, I have come to realize that Shmeng has no place for me. I am too temperamental and hyper when it comes to others slaughtering the underdog, and unfortunately, I don’t know any other way to defend them other than the way I did. I apologize for my inability to practice passivism. This, is obviously unacceptable terms to many of you here.
I am not angry at anyone here for what they said, I just think I am better suited to hang on the streets of D.C. and converse with those who have the same city blood running through their veins as me. Or, I’ll just become withdrawn within the confines of my home. That would probably be the safer bet. In any event, thanks for making a hard decision for me so much easier.
When I joined this board, I did it to be closer to people I love. Devin and Mel are like the family I have always wanted, and I have adopted them as such. It was my way of being with them. So, in essence, I suppose I signed up for all the wrong reasons from the word go.
It was a wonderful place to be for awhile and I had the opportunity to meet a lot of terrific people, I will miss you. There are just too many here anymore that I can no longer stand to be in the presence of, some of the same people that are being defended by some of you. You obviously made your choice of who’s company is much more preferred here. That is fine, no ill will towards you for your decisions, but I can’t listen to it anymore, it’s literally causing balls of knots in my stomach to the point of nausea. I am not going to try to point out nothing at this point, it’s senseless. I just think it’s time for me to fly, so that’s at least one down, and I don’t know how many more you have to go. So, if nothing else, maybe my departure will make a brighter day for some of you, and I have at least done something right. I am not going to view it on a sour note, but as a positive move, so Farewell and best wishes to you all.
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Re: ATTENTION
by pAris (dparis@columbus.rr.com)
on Feb 28, 2002 - 09:46 PM
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Okay. I know I should be emailing this to Ickgirl and Callei and Devin, but I felt the need to be public about following my own advice and asking forgiveness.
First off, I want to apologize if I have been shmengy or causing shmeng for others. I have been going through some weird shit the past year (including getting laid off and some really crappy financial consequences of that) and there have been growing pains with my family and my Family, and I think there has also been a really strange world vibe lately that I tried to ignore. I did not mean to fling anything at anyone.
I started coming here last year because my grrl showed me the site and I got into a couple of good conversations, then kind of meandered away for a while. Recently I came back and got really involved in some of the things people were saying, and even when I did not agree with them, I really liked the intelligence and the variety of people here. I like friendly arguing, but I do not respond well to mud flinging and sometimes resort to it when it happens.
Sure sometimes someone would make me pissy with something they wrote, but I try to take it with a grain of salt too. And sometimes I think my written words can sound harsher than I meant them to be, so if I pissed someone off, I am sorry.
So as someone who tries to know when to take a hint, if I am not wanted here please remove me from the roster. I would miss people that I have come to know a little bit more each day from their posts, but as Arthegarn said, I too tend to be a bit paranoid as a learned experience.
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Re: ATTENTION
by Monolycus on Mar 01, 2002 - 07:02 AM
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Very much like Arthegarn and pARIS, I have always been one of those people who point at themselves in semi-guilty confusion when anyone uses the phrase "...and you know who you are!" In the most Zen sense, I don't know who I am, but that is neither here nor there. The point of this post is not to absolve myself from any wrongdoing (I have a very skewed height-to-hubris ratio), rather to reassure Arthegarn and pARIS that I have found their posts to be well thought out and I have appreciated their input.*
I have actually appreciated most everyone's input, even when I have not always agreed with it. I am still new here, but picking through the archives has given me a sense of the general tone of things... and that tone is, for the most part, one that I can appreciate. It takes intelligence to be truly disgruntled (The Stupid can always distract themselves with day-time television and get over whatever is bothering them), but for people who mull over Life's Little Unmentionables, this is a very healthy place to cathart a bit.
I am sorry that the ranks of the Stupid have been spilling over a bit, and would like to assure everyone that I, personally, mean no lasting harm. If ever I truly and deeply offend, always feel free to mention it to me either publicly or privately. If nothing else, I love to get mail.
*And this despite Arthegarn's unfortunate career choices! Sorry, I couldn't resist.
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...eep
by Dolorosa on Mar 01, 2002 - 09:38 AM
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For some reason I feel very, very small...dammit, I hate that.
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- Re: ...eep by pAris on Mar 01, 2002 - 10:15 AM
- Thanks!! by Dolorosa on Mar 01, 2002 - 10:33 AM
Re: ATTENTION
by AlteredMind (DarkSideVampireX@AOL.com)
on Jun 21, 2003 - 08:56 PM
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I receieved the letter you wrote to me about my " ......................................" after each statement I made. I never meant to piss you off, and if I have than I'll try to change that.In fact I have changed that. I would really like to know what you think of me. After all you did say for us to ask you if we wanted to know.
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