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Illustrations: One taste, and you come back for more |
Posted by
Dolorosa on Monday, January 07, 2002 - 03:13 PM PST
In light of recent events...I went to a shinto shrine for help. The whole Hsien-ko wan keui thing has been riding my heart for a long time, dragging me the hell down...but thank whomever responsible for it. This little shrine, in the middle of nowehere, beautiful in a quaint but powerful way, immenently serene. I met an old man with surprisingly good english, a priest I guess you could call him, although the proper term is Yamagumi. This old man was worried about me the second I entered the shrine, he told me that the shi-shi spirit dogs didn't like me at all...before I could explain my case, he told me flat out...I had been kissing girls I should not have been kissing, then he laughed and told me he could fix it.
Good humor coming from such a smallman, humor that nonetheless made my heart race. It was a long ritual, to make a long story short, three younger women sang sort of a droning chant and two men about my own age waved around these little censures filled with incense as the old man sat me down, and began sprinkling little pieces of paper over me. They had all these little Kanji characters on them, I think they were shinto prayers given physical form or something. In any case...it hurt like hell, fricking burned, and all I wanted to do was leave...I remember screaming at them, I think I knocked one of the boys out cold, and I broke a lot of stuff...I went ballistic, and I usually don't do that...creepy thing was, apparently I was speaking in old ainu japanese while I was doing it. I know decent japanese, but th ainu dialect is way out of my league. Everything was pretty much a blur, and I still get the shivers when I think about it. When I woke up, I was laying on a rice mat out in the back and a young woman was giving me water through a small ladel, she was covered in prayer slips. I knw what those ones stand for now, protection from evil spirits. I think she wore them to keep her safe from me...and I've always thought of myself as such a gentle person. The old man came back and explained to me that the hungry ghost had been chased out, though it wasn't too easy, and something about my way of thinking and state of heart made it a welcome home for things of it's sort. He said that he had asked a pair of shi-shi dogs to keep an eye on me, just in case the wan keui come back for me. Normally I'd be skeptical of the whole ordeal, waiting for a price to be laid down. But no price was asked, he just said I was welcome here any time...stating that Americans, for being as demon-ridden as they are, never seek purity, or at least...rarely do. He considered it a unique honor and test of his faith to try and purify me. I say try, because as of now, by shinto spritual law, I'm half-living...when you have a bad spirit inside of you, forever after you carry that essence...something a little less and more than normal...whatever. The end result of this is kind of interesting, I've had my first real taste of the hidden, the occult...and damn me if I'm not thirsting for more. I want to know these things, I want to be able to work with these things...unfortunatly, I know jack...but I know there are people out there who do...problem is, sifting the truth from the masses of charlatans, liars and self-indulgent morons out there. So here I am, sitting on the other side of the world, nursing my little cult, and wondering exactly what the fuck happened to me out there...I feel a lot more comfortable around here though lately, things are a lot clearer, the shadows much more familiar...kinda' creepy, but I feel a lot more at peace, except I want to know, and the things I want to know about are harder than hell to find. Give me hand yeah?
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One taste, and you come back for more | Login/Create an account | 5 Comments |
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Re: One taste, and you come back for more
by Ironboots on Jan 07, 2002 - 06:19 PM
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Wow... that sounds like some ordeal. I guess it helps... who knows. But its better than sitting in a box for confession, you know?
I'm happy for you.
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Re: One taste, and you come back for more
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Jan 09, 2002 - 04:50 PM
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Probably being the only satanic fan of the late father malaki martin (he's irish) he once said that he sees people every day in america walking around...perfectly possessed.
Sounds like you had quite an ordeal. I hope it helped you in some way, at least mentally. Sometimes that sort of thing (if you don't believe in all that hoodoo vooodoo) at least helps your subconscious dig out the crap and release pent up frusterations and angers and sorrows which can be really beneficial.
I've been having similar problems, and I know it's stress related, so I"m doing my own housecleaning and starting yoga! Mostly just because I"m so out of shape I can't sit crosslegged for over 5min or my feet go numb :)
whatever works for you, but sometime it take something as traumatic as an "exorcism" to do the job. Maybe I'll give it a try....might at least make the headaches go away.
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Re: One taste, and you come back for more
by Anonymous-Coward on Jan 16, 2002 - 01:40 AM
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Ill tell you this, there many gifted people out there that you can learn from, saldy many goths out there just say they do these things cause it makes them look more cool or shall I say dead and in with things. A pure ego boost. But when you for real as in your case, there are those who can teach you and they dont charge you. Those who do , do it for on reason, respect, when one pays for something people respect things more than if they got it for nothing. Seeing evil , demonds ghosts, whatever, fighting the battle has been going for centuries, unsung hero's out there silently fighting the greatest battle. but the turth is. first find peace within yourself, and you instincts will lead you to the right people.
GA
(guardian-Angel)
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- Ah? by Dolorosa on Feb 16, 2002 - 11:14 AM
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