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Articles: Back, With Temporary Computer Access! (Hooray, Hooray!) |
Posted by
Schizo on Wednesday, November 14, 2001 - 10:59 AM PST
Thanks to everyone for their congratulations/condolences/advice! You all deserve - drumroll please - another update!
Baby update - morning sickness has begun, after my entertaining hopes that I was going to skip out on that part of it altogether! Hooray for saltines and gingerale!
Boyfriend update - still behaving himself. I am struggling to retain the "I-told-you-so's", seeing that after a week and a half spent living with his ex, she skipped off with her summer boyfriend when she was supposed to be at her mom's, and when she came back, and he was about to show the punk that she had aborted said punk's baby (she said she had a miscarraige) she punched him in the face, breaking a tooth, and tried to strangle him. The loser punk then went to the neighbor's and called the cops - on my boyfriend! They led him away in handcuffs in front of his kids without even reading him his rights, and now he isn't allowed to see his ex, and he has to stick around to the end of December for his court date. And he never even laid a finger on her. So he's back living with me, though he also knows that he better treat me right, or he's out on the street. In the meantime, I'm enjoying his company (when he is good, he is very, very good) and also enjoying the position of power I have right now. And the stress of patching his depressed, suicidal head back together is less than the stress of wondering where rent was going to come from, so that's a plus. Anyway, I'm good at patching him together. And he listens to me now, because he knows he screwed up big time. So if he can stay behaving himself, great! And if he can't, at least I got another month's rent out of him, and some yummy sex! (Oh yeah, he's sleeping in my bed now, instead of on the couch! Eat that, psycho slut!)
Psycho slut update - Well, well, well! Karma wins the day. While I have a baby growing inside of me, she has... cancer! Found that out at her post-abortion check-up. Cervical cancer. Level 4. I thought that rather appropriate. I have life in me, she has death. A physical manifestation of a spiritual truth. And I didn't have to lift a finger against her. I've never even gone so far as to yell at her. Her own life hexes her without me having to do a thing. So she'll probably have to have her uterus amputated, and have all sorts of nasty therapy, if she survives at all. Is it so horrible of me to be filled with a sort of grim satisfaction about this? And I read that some of the ways to increase your risk of this kind of cancer is to have sex too soon with too many people. Karma, karma, karma. I like karma.
I told my mom about my pregnancy, and she took it fairly calmly. She'll tell my dad and my brother. Today I'll have to tell my employer, since I missed work yesterday due to morning sickness. Maybe that will mean more evening hours, since I generally feel fine then. And the boyfriend was so bored, that he rented another computer, under his name, to occupy his time with. So I'm back for the time being!
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Back, With Temporary Computer Access! (Hooray, Hooray!) | Login/Create an account | 15 Comments |
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Re: Back, With Temporary Computer Access! (Hooray, Hooray!)
by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com)
on Nov 14, 2001 - 10:41 PM
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Sell his stuff, get him removed from the lease, and look into the medicaid options.
Sell his stuff so that you have money for the little things like rent and food.
remove him from the lease so that he has no claim on you and cant be held against you for income requirements.
And look into the medicaid because prenatal care can make all the difference with both your health and your comfort level.
Oh and keep the saltines next to your bed so that you can jsut role over and grab a few first thing. helps to get them down as fast as possible.
DO NOT TRUST HIM! put all your valuables in a safe deposit box. He is desperate, broke, in trouble with the law, and has shown himself to be both unreliable and untrustworthy.
Good sex doesnt necessarily make him worth your effort.
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More advice
by Maranda (saboneta@aol.com)
on Nov 15, 2001 - 08:13 AM
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Callei's right. Think about what you're doing by taking him back:
First, his ex has cancer. This means at least one thing: he will have to spend more time than usual caring for his kids. This means that YOU will end up raising them during your pregnancy.
It also means that she will probably jerk his pity chain to keep him in her life. Which means she will be in your life.
If your relationship does continue through the next few years, you will be a stepmom at the same time you're becoming a mom. If you are okay with taking on the responsibility for his children as well as your own, more power to you. You'll need it.
Change the locks. The ex will continue to have access to your home, since you will be sharing his children. Do you really want this?
Your boyfriend has brought three children into the world with no clear plan on how to care for them. He needs to step back, get a grip on his life, take care of himself for a while as he figures out how he's going to care for three new people. By giving him a place to escape to, you're actually preventing him from growing up.
You may think that you need him around to support you. If he wants to be around to be part of his baby's life, that's admirable. If he just doesn't have anywhere else to go, that's a lousy foundation for a relationship.
On the subject of karma: We all do reap what we sow. No matter how despicable his ex's behaviour may have been, we all make mistakes in life. Your focus should be on keeping yourself from making poor choices in the future, not on pointing out others' errors.
An example of a poor choice would be letting this clod shack up with you out of desperation. Either he's taking steps to be a decent father to his kids, or he's biding time waiting for his fairy godmother to straighten his life out. If it's the latter, you are better off without him.
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Re: Back, With Temporary Computer Access! (Hooray, Hooray!)
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolf@hotmail.com)
on Nov 15, 2001 - 09:47 AM
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I agree, it might be hard, but I'd leave this guy. He is nothing but trouble. I've been in a relasionship like yours. They are not healthy, and you have more than just your health to think about now. His ex is going to have some expensive medical bills also, which means she'll need money, and think who she'll ask, so get your valuables hidden away.
Also, since they didn't read him his rights, I don't think that anything that the judge ruled is legally binding.
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Re: Back, With Temporary Computer Access! (Hooray, Hooray!)
by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com)
on Nov 15, 2001 - 10:40 PM
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Have you been to a doctor yet? have you been to the state aid offices yet? have you talked to a school concelor (yes college comes with daycare and extra money and some basic healthcare these days for single moms)
Have you removed him from your lease?
Have you given him a bill, in writting, for what he owes you for rent, food, chores, etc?
Being a mom means jousting a lot of dragons, he is a good person to practice on.
He owes you nothing emoutonally and you owe him nothing emotionaly. Let it go cold, BEFORE you get "dumb" with pregnancy.
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